I lay on my bed in silence
no bad thoughts, nothing with violence
it seems a memory was all it took
to make me have a empty look
having a moment for what I've lost
of all the pleasure's, and all they cost

Self Isolation saves me from "I told you so"
And then they wonder why I never tell them when it gets too cold
Willing to bite my tongue just to suffer in isolation
My problems aren't yours, and are not up for delegation

Your curiosity is annoying, as your apologies lack pity
For where you see such beautiful vistas, I see a crumbling city
Judged for being silent, judged for being loud
Scolded for minding my own, yet hated for not intervening
What would work for both of us, so you are happy and I stay sane
To keep my secrets just as they are, to have us both stay in our lanes

I stay stubborn in my own mistakes, making and paying for them in due time
And as the choir to a hypocrite church, you feel inclined to intervene
No good walks this earth, and no good is in the helpers
Nobody requested shelter, you were never told to enter

Yet you call it "worry", Just another victim to help both your ego and your image
What is the primage needed to unload my problems to your "Ship of good will"
Yet still, even now, you pretend my silence is a cry for help

My breast had been your pillow
my body became your bed
You lay yourself down upon me
and dreamt yourself inside my head
You slept a million moons with me
we swept and swayed your soul to rest
Beneath the quilted cover of my skin
upon the mattress of my chest
Only to wake and find beside me
the creases where your body laid
And in your eyes the empty sheets
where my heart was left unmade

I have never been able to sleep.
Everything toys with me as
my mind wonder into the deep
The clock on the wall
Criticizing my need for momentary peace.
When will I ever be released?
Imagination very active and all is alive.
In my waking moments, I am groggy I strive
only for the feel and desire to survive.
Before, I close my eyes with the sister of death.
Possibilities of the unknown is where it all thrives
My thoughts depart from time to time.
Countdown of spiraling minutes
I'm losing my will to eat and the need to rest.
Shifting away from friends & from all that is left

I’m hopping along a road
that trips me over
I’m climbing up a tree
that pulls me down
I’m far across a field
that draws me closer
and still nearer
to not being found