Trying to find the light
But it seems to be that darkness wins
Every single time
A light so bright
It'll give a blind man sight
So close but yet so far
Like the moon on a dark winter night
I try to chase it down
And ran some more
Chasing down a moon for it's light
A light so bright
It'll give a blind man sight
The streets are quiet
the night is dark
but the lamps are brightest
The moon is in its highest
peak and the world
is stark naked
As 12 strikes the clock
You walk alone
Never minding the
after days of storm
Smile forming on your lips
Be careful still
And come home
Slip beneath the sheets
Eyes shut and sleep deep
Outside, moonshine glows
Your lips met mine once more as we reluctantly put distance between each other once more.
You may not be embracing me on those long drives home however, your presence still lingers.
Even now in my bed, hands still shaking I long for your arms around me.
Those arms that were never mine but always have been.
That heart that I could never break but always feel.
Those lips that I would always dream of but never kiss.
Playing out our love in small scenes, short acts, dancing up and down the stage hands interlocked eyes trained on one and other.
Tiny ponds with enough waves to sink the strongest ships.
Destroying the beaches, flooding the coffee shops and antique stores.
You have always been my forever.
You have always been my never.
rustic brain calls upon late a night, wishing things will be done by the breaking of dawn.
oh, how i wish these sleepless nights could end in a spur. for years i have calculated, but have not documented those hideous moments to ever enter my sight. everywhere i look, a bickering thought arrives as if a group of chattering teeth lines through my mind when i'm suppose to be at rest.
in this shallow moment, let this end.
in this shallow moment, let's stop crying silently in our bed.
and as the morning rises, we could see brightly of the horizon. forgetting it for awhile until it crawls through at night. an unending cycle that causes a lot of fright. as if our brains lingers to the thought too tight.
rustic brain will soon heal
or so, or just life's haunting thrill
It’s the aching for their touch when they’re not there
It’s feeling lost in your thoughts wandering if you’re enough
It’s knowing that lost them and the burning hate inside for yourself for even letting them go
What seems like unending torment of the thought that the one person you want to hold and they’re not there
Reaching out for the few inches and feeling their presence.
That it’s all a memory
Surviving on memories, the happiest moments
Reliving the heart wrenching flashbacks
Those worthless arguments that you wish you could erase
The ideology of changing the past knowing there’s no fixing what already happened
It’ll beat you ****** and leave you alone empty
Right person at the wrong time,
I’m drowning, desperately searching for one last sliver of hope
Love is painful
For a moment--
I was sad that he left me.
But then I realized--
It was I who left him.
Star in my window,
What must you have seen.
A sad and angry girl
With a wish and a dream.
Have you seen her cry?
Or moan in bed?
Have you seen the dark clouds
That hang over her head?
What books does she read?
What thoughts does she think?
Is it true she doesnt sleep
But just excessivly blinks?
Youre so far
But have seen a great deal
And when the world
Looks back at you
Why they feel
I wish for time to simply stop
for everything to take a pause
it feels as if we are going at lightning speed
do we ever stop to reflect?
do we ever stop to see who has stayed by our sides?
I wish for the ability to tell the future
that way I can know what to prepare for
what to be embarrassed of
who I can trust
who I should not even try with
I wish to understand others
what they feel
why they act
why they betray
why they fade away
I wish to ask questions and get answers
why is the way to success through education?
why does our future depend on education that puts us in debt?
why do we trust when there are many knives?
why do we love when we do not know who it should be for?
why do we feel the need to deceive?
I wish to ask these and more
I wish to have the life I want and not feel regret
I wish to act but not fear the consequences afterwards
I wish to express myself how I want to
I wish to not feel the need to conform
I wish to find that one person I can trust no matter what
I wish to find that person to be with be through it all
I wish to understand people's lies
I wish to see the truth even when blind
I wish I could understand
Late night thoughts that have run through my head for years now. Some wishes are mean to be said for the chance of maybe someone hearing its call.
they flood your mind till you cannot think
they flood your mind and completely take over.
there is a never a rest taken
one by one the words consume you
your drowning in the words
the meaning of the words haunt you
to the point of no escape
they are the ghosts of your past
they will never leave.
keeping you up at night
keeping you awake till god knows when
rendering you unable to function
all those regrets
all those past mistakes
take form at night or in daydreams
they haunt you
they do not take a break
no matter how much you wish they would.
you have given them the power of you.
they are the everlasting ruler
never to be dethroned
never to be slayed.
all those wishes for them to disappear are rendered useless.
why try when the scales have already been tilted permanently?
why try when they have your mind on lockdown.
will there be a time where I can escape?
where you can escape?
escape from the words
the past thoughts
escape from what was once reality
but now just a terrible memory.
they have flooded our mind.
never came knocking
but came barging in
made themselves at home
nice a comfortable at our expense.
what to do.
if only I knew...