i weren't that sad because of you today. i think that i just overreacted yesterday and i won't give up on you that easy. watch me fighting. i'll show you my heart and you'll notice me sooner or later. i won't think too negative, i still have some hope.

Staring into the darkness,
Mind is filled with unspoken words,
The coldness of my heart has gone to frozen,
I am not whom you thought you knew.

I'd like to say
If I'd have stayed
I wouldn't be here now
But truthfully
Inquiring
Will only sink me down
Pass memories
That mock and tease
Ulysses' siren song
The jagged rocks
Seductive talks
Carry my soul along

im at the point of my life
where im just going with the flow
im neither happy or sad
i just feel alone

everyone around me
seems to have it figured out
yet here i am
just trying to get by

this isn’t the life i imagined to have
my anxiety is taking over me
and making things harder than it should be

i just want someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay
but here i am alone
facing everything all by myself

im alive yet i feel so dead
ive never felt this way
uninspired and so unmotivated
i feel like nothing’s going right

i am lost and alone
in this big world full of people
this is not how i imagined life
can someone please tell me that everything is going to be okay?

I listen to you sleep, when i type this down.
Little groans from you are music to me; like James Dean and Audrey Hepburn.

It felt like forever
and I crave you every day,
i craved you more when you were sad, because i just wanted to hug you and let you know that i'm impulsive but will never leave you.
I dream of us married and having kids one day..
See, i've grown attached to you.
You're a cancer filled with love,
and other girls took you for granted, i feel.

But they've later died with a cold heart
because they couldn't control the temperature.

Your beauty is loud, but you were silent.
                              let me touch you and help you roar,
                                                      because i'm a lion

When im anxious
I want to drink
I want to cut my wrists
Release these stressful thoughts
In the form of
Whiskey
and blood

I took some Ativan
Ive been prescribed
longer than a normal person should
Because its a benzo
And that ***** addicting
And I know that
Because I have a nursing degree

But still I think about mixing
The benzo
And the whiskey
With some blood
When im anxious

Because when im anxious
Rational thought
Is a thing in the past
Gasping for air
Feels like choking on glass
I am now physically sick
But my doctor insists
"Its just stress"

When Im anxious
I think about killing myself
But wouldnt that be typical?
Follow in his footsteps.
I can hear the chatter now
"She was never going to make it"
"Why would she do that to herself?"

Is this real?
Or my paranoia?
Because when im anxious
It all feels the same

I think I would die in vain
If I take my life
When im anxious