It'd be great if i wasnt on the verge of breaking down 24/7

a crowd of seagulls
they orbit our head
not waiting to be freed
only waiting to be fed
they aren't fed
shine isn't food

a crowd of people
they orbit our world
not waiting to be fed
only waiting to be freed
they aren't freed
shine isn't wealth

Stress
Is like a million mad-mans running at you with guns

Anxiety
Is like standing in front of a crowd having to say a speech but nothing will come out and everyone looks at you in frustration. They're waiting and all you can do is shake.

Depression
Is sitting a room of happy people who are laughing, you're laughing too but you feel numb. Like your laugh is really a scream for help as you are stuck in a well slowly drowning.

Insecurity
Is wanting to become invisible

Neglection
Is wanting to be seen

Strength
Is what you have if you can smile convincingly even with one or more of these situations

I love you
I can feel that you don't feel the same
The same way you can feel someone is watching
How can you convince me?
You simply can't
You could love me more than spring loves  bloom
And I'd still be looking for hints that it's still winter

"It takes guts to be kind and gentle."

~Theres a difference between being kind and acting as a doormat.

Being a doormat literally welcomes people to walk over you.~

Sometimes things get tough
People get mean
Things go without meaning
And people get hurt
But I have an addiction
An addiction to oxygen and life
I have an addiction to seeing smiles
And hearing certain voices
I have an addiction to the simple things in life
Yes, its hard
But the day I break my habit
Is the day I die
And my friend,
This addiction is not something that can be broken from rehab
This addiction
Is literally for life

Green dances like waves around her wide pupils, eyes lashes like curved feathers graze the top of her eyelid.

Flaming orange spirals from her beautiful mind down to the end of her back.

A canvas
Her face resembled as the flecks of freckles formed a gorgeous piece art.

Her body was as though it was sculptured carefully to put on display in greek goddess section of the museum

Sadly it wasn't
Instead her body was forcefully abused and harmed as it wasn't societys shallow idea of beauty

She wasn't tan
She wasn't blonde or brunette
Just a pale ginger.

She considered herself to be hideous

She became weak
Vunerable
Easy

It wasn't her fault
She needed the money
She lacked self esteem
And so selling her body gave her the worth and attention she never had.

Beaten
Hurt
*****

Her life was gone
The green waves in her eyes stop dancing
The lashes were now harsh lumps of dried mascara
Her beautiful hair was bleached blonde, frayed and cut.

And her body was now just another puppet to an old mans torture.

Imagine you are in a pitch black room.

smash

Your blood starts pumping and you can feel your heat beat faster and faster.

foot steps

>.>

whispers

Then the sharp ice cold knife is pressed to your neck.



This is how I feel doing a speech or going out in public. XD

I know its weird
Like I should've gotten over it months ago

But I think Im still in love with you

No, I wont do anything about it
No, I wont say anything about it
But I will always care
And I will always be here

The key to happiness:

Healthy eating
Getting enough sleep
Having supportive friends
Having kind friends
Having something to challenge you
But not something that will
Stress you out

At the end of the day
If you have all these things
But are still unhappy
Then it may be time for a change

I have work to do
I have people to see
My rooms a mess
My shows on TV

I have to leave
I have to leave

I'm just so sorry

Just breathe
Just breathe

Hold me a little tighter
Love me a little longer
Plan for me
Care for me
Protect me

Maybe then, I won't be so b-b-b...

I try to grab your attention
But you just shrug and turn away
I try to smile at you
Be a **** to you
But you don't seem to care
Just stuck in a world of fear

Im scared
So ******* scared
That you're not okay
That you say you're fine
Simply to keep me away

I don't understand
If something's wrong
Then talk about it
Or draw about
Just please, please don't bottle it up

Its weird to say
but I love you in a mate kind of way
If anything were to happen to you-





I don't know what I'd do.

To feel
All and intensely
To care
Fully and endlessly

Is it weak?
Or is a strength?

Confusion fogging my mind,
I struggle to accept my empathy
For people
For situations
Not relevant to my own
But relevant enough
To consume me
In second hand grief

I’m drowning
Yet emerging

Can I handle these emotions
And still support those in need?

It’s a question I constantly ponder.
With another outbreak,
It’s a question I need to answer.

Everyone has a story so don't close your eyes just because you believe your story is worse or better because you'll get lost
Life isnt a competition, its a journey.
We need to help others or
Noone will be there to catch us when we fall
Because we were too busy focused on our own lives that we didnt even realise we were creating a social wall

I will drag you down
I will steal your crown

I will break your heart
I belong in the dark

I will make you worry
I will make you stress
Even if I think its for the best

Even if I want to cry
Even if im asking why
Even if Im in pain myself
I will always been an inconvienence to everybody else.

I feel as though Im out
Im free
I can be who I want to be

Im no longer trapped in a place I used to call home

For home is where you're truely happy
Which for me is elsewhere

"If a flower bloomed in a dark room
Would you trust it?"

What are the chances that you are reading my poem right now

What are the chances that reading this could affect your life somehow

I mean I could've changed your life and nor you or anyone else would realize it

You
Me
Everyone else
We're always changing
Evolving
Learning
And growing

But forcing a change is different
Forcing a change can be great or cruel
Because what is natural
Shouldnt be tested.

I dont know if i can do this
Which is selfish
I mean
I have everything most people could want
A house
Friends
Family
Food
A bed

But even with all this
I just feel numb
Like my chest is caving in
And I cant breathe
All the time
I feel myself slipping away
All the time

But noone seems to notice unless I tell them
Yes I want attention
But only because I feel so trapped

I want help
Not ******* sympathy.

Waiting for a blow that never comes
It was right
It was the right choice

Falling apart
Emotionally
Physically
Mentally

I work so hard to please everyone
To help
To give
To smile
To be positive for other people

Yet i get nothing in return
A few extra hugs and aqquaintances maybe
The occasional thanks
Dont get me wrong
I dont expect anything in return

But i do expect that people would at least
Try
Because im sick of always putting in the most effort
Sick of being the one to pick up the pieces
Sick of the one walking in the shadows of others

I just want to be cared for
Not just cared about.

Do you ever just feel empty?
As though your veins are hollow and insides are nothing but air?
As though you look at yourself but you dont see any colour
Like you are feeling so much that you've just stopped feeling at all?

Because thats how I feel right now
Hopefully it wont last for long

I don't see why we can't replace bombs with confetti.

I cant seem to keep my eyes off you

I hate you
Yet I like you
You're mean
you're selfish

And you couldnt care less about yourself
Let alone anyone else

You are
Dramatic
Mean
Weird
Loud
Annoying
Messed up
Selfish
Rude
Egotistical


Yet somehow I still find myself looking at you, smiling at you, waiting for you to arrive, wondering what your thinking and laughing at your jokes

Because even under all that
You are
Kind
Funny
Protective
Innocent
Caring
Talented
Different
Unique

I think thats why I cant seem to stop thinking about you

Because you annoy me yet make me laugh
Because you are unlike noone ive ever met
No matter how weird you are
You're my type of weird and even though I know I cant have you I'm akways going to care.
If you ever need me
Ill be there.