Can't you see me
Can't you see
How its supposed to be
You had to teach me
A burdensome chore
You chose to ignore
So you left me alone
Wondering why I did so on my own
Now I know nothing
I'm always running
Under the pressure
I'm crumbling
The unformed person
Hiding behind the curtain
Ashamed of being the burden
Now you can't see-
but when you think of me
I'm gone and you're still
Hating me
How I'm ought to be
It isn't clear to me
And I'm sure you'd happily agree
I am lost at sea
You were so headstrong
About knowing all along
I was unworthy and ugly, loud and wrong
Now I suffer
Nowhere to belong
You can no longer tell me to go
This is my home
Piece by piece, blood and bone
I built it on my own
You know of my unbearable pain
Trying to live life your way
And you know I couldn't stay
When you were the one sending me away
I don't want to grow old
With my life feeling cold
All thrown away
Feeling myself decay
Its not my responsibility
Your incivility
Never a child to you,
But a void of hostility
Your high horse far away from me
And I know,
that even though
I can't see you looking down
It is a certainty
Creative were your reasons
To deny the diseases
That plagued our house of stalled seasons
So look away, so you don't need to believe in
The winter that we lived in
Deny deny deny
The distance between you and I
Came from you and your willingness to
Misidentify
"This child is not mine,
It chooses to defy,
Theres rot inside"
And I can never be satisfied
With your answers when I ask why
"You you you
You chose to do
Everything bad that happened to you"
How could I
When I was the child in knots
And you were the tie
If I am a bad egg and I am rotten
Then you were the broken,
beaten down fridge that I was in
For my mother.
I never wished it of you, but I will die someday, just like you want me to.
And maybe then, you could finally be proud.
Or at least, you could finally stop haunting me.