Forgive me. The world is busy, stormed with shards of uncertainty that razor at the ropes of sanity, till only frays remain, stumped at my thumb, light in my grip. Its times like these that I sink; Kind faces become blurry blobs of expectation, Waiting hands are impatient in their skin, Opening and closing with the clasping closeness that feels choking. I am smothered by the too much and bury my head beneath the deluge. The quagmire blots my ears, Muffles the movements All the sounds of all the somethings going about the day. In the ignorance I remain saved, Every thought just about intelligible Every feeling a negligible waver on this frequency. Forgive me, hold me accountable for the hurt that I cause. But the world is busy And all I crave is quiet.
My favorite time of the day lately Is when everyone else in the house is sleeping. This is my alone time. Laying in my cocoon of warm blankets I take in the silence My mantra ensues
This is my time And no one can take it from me.
I get lost in daydreams that fade into real dreams. And as I hit snooze on my alarm the mantra continues
These next 10 minutes are mine and mine alone. I am safe in my cocoon and I am safe in this room. Hold on to this feeling of calm. The day will pass at times constant speed. No one can change that no matter how it feels. This is my time No one can take it from me.
the bright light of the tv bleaches my eyes of any thought i ever conceived; A laugh track plays, as i slowly pull my chest to my knees. my phone is screaming and yelling but i just leave it be. I fuse to the couch and let darkness crawl over and cover me
until the roar of a laugh track sings me quietly to sleep
I’ve been trying to keep my hands busy to stop from feeling so needy lately. But my hands never pick the right things. I swear I was skinny once, but I have always thought I was fat. I think I’ve just been bloated from my grief, all of these years.