Diving deep into hidden thoughts
The hourglass empties, sand molecules glisten
I always would hear to speak less and to listen.
I think that has brought me here.
A pendulum swings as time takes my hand,
Empty expression in an endless white sand,
My past is dank, dark, and hard to avoid,
But my skin is thick, I live with no fear.
Last night, I had a talk with my inner man, the one I hold in and I, honestly,
Can finally understand,
I keep him housed up and buried with no real estate, an intended
Omission to keep him from obliterating my conscious mind.
He exists purely to win, but I can't let him be,
I can not let him orchestrate me,
It's all my free will, I observe the truth, I remember my youth,
And those distracting choruses play,
On a never-ending loop, misguiding my way,
Yet angels guide me every day
Change has come and taken hold, with conscious effort confide
My new wisdom can guide me right, when everybody
Must decide between giving a **** about me and letting their lives go by on
Mistakes may dot my travelled path,
But without those lessons, I could not have
This connect four of mind and clarity of thought
To my Ego I raged, spit truth like fire,
"No, doppelganger, everything
Will not be just fine, I'm taking control and I think it's time,
You're better off dead!
To face all my nightmares, my fears and
My spine, it's time to straighten that out, too!"
I know I upset him, I could feel the poison in my stomach,
The sensation just intensified
I had enraged the part of me keeping me sane,
I would surely find myself falling apart at the core,
with no way to get back to who I was before
But, therein lies the paradox, your ego is frail,
Because it's so childishly terrified of being lost, forgotten, and left behind,
Once gone and released, the true you can set sail.
That's when most people give up, just a pinch of that relentless self-doubt,
And when it's coming from within you,
You just carve your way out, like a wounded animal.
I didn't think for a second I would let you take the lead,
I won't let you control me, decide what I need,
So I will keep fighting and cutting you deep,
Until you no longer bleed.
I appreciate any feedback, negative or positive.