To be seen for the first time; Your palm pressed firmly against my cheek but I felt it radiate in my chest. Watching your eyes gazing the horizon of my pupil. Getting lost in the breathless moment of our desire escaping. I don't think there are enough thank you's to be said about that moment. By now I would have already created an extended fantasy of this night turning into a lifetime, but not this time. This moment shall be pressed like lilacs in between my journal just as is. This time I don't pray this road leads anywhere other than where it actually ends. I could have said I loved you in that moment but I waited till after you left & just told the universe thank you. Thank you for whatever this transforms or ceases to be.
How I know you are my best friend: Everytime something good happens I want you to know I enjoy your company I genuinely love you When I go somewhere I wish you were there with me I have an unlimited amount of respect for you and you respect me back You want to help me and make sure I'm okay and I want to do the same for you You actually care. My mom loves you You want to talk about our lives and hardships and don't care if I vent Thank you for being my best friend. For being you.
Limbo I feel like I am on a never ending train. No next stop. All this precious time I’ve wasted. God, look how much time I’ve wasted. I have wrote of you twice before Once after the first “I Love you” Again after I knew you. And now after I’ve known you.. The raging fire once felt now reduced to a flicker. I can now see you without a glimmer So many misunderstandings we never planned No one would ever understand. Who are you? Someone I should know but it feels as though you are a stranger Gemini Destined to be two halves Your noise echos in my ears Flashing memories of laughter brought While your betrayal vibrates in my body Leaving my stomach in knots Am I to forgive you for wanting to be whole. Sacrifice myself for you to be whole. No. I’ve rebuilt my wall. Brick by ******* brick Every piece to so sadly fall My tears it’s unyielding glue Leaving no clue Of the destruction it’s previously been through Now I know the true lesson in love To love until it is forevermore For in hope of another life where may meet again As lovers with a chance once more.
An honest friend is hard to find. Someone good hearted with a pure mind. So many faces Doing their “task”. Everyone wearing some kind of mask. Hiding their thruth self from theirselves Insecurity laying underneath the shell. Being fake starts in the mind. Anything genuine nowadays Is hard to find.
How to find my peace When nothing fulfills me? When the genuine severe my grave And I am the genuine severing yours? In all earnestness my heart recovers grace, In solemn silence finding petulance, Sulky, old smiles alternating.
I have come to find when I deviate from my muse of melancholy I revile my work more and more. Perhaps because, inside, the darkness and emptiness is a part of every part of me. And pretending, is not in my nature.