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My existence  is forlorn.
From my body, I am torn.
Withered and stripped,
My soul is worn.
Inside brews an endless storm.
Oh how I long to be no more.
slr Apr 19
I’m only supposed to live until 27
I am already 21
That means I have 6 years left
6 years feels like so many more lifetimes
Only 23% survive
Am i strong enough to be in the 23%?
I don’t think i am
Nothing is helping
I tell people the meds help
But i’m lying to them just as much as myself
This is a deadly disease
It destroys your mind and your body
CIN Apr 19
Pained intake of breath
Hot air against my cheeks
You’re wrapping white cloth over my arms
I’m watching red seep in like ink bleeds

Faintly, behind a splotch of black
I see your eyes grow wet
And though I am barely holding on
I can feel the tremble in your fingers
And an echo of a voice
Calling my name

You’re desperately trying to push paper into the wound
And I’m feeling myself bleed out despite your efforts
You take me to a doctor but still I leak
Transfuse your own red into me
But it just leaves through my eyes and makes me feel weak

“What have you done to yourself?!” you cry
And I sigh through a fit of tears
You’re trying to take the pain out of me
And i'm disappointing you with every breath I take

Just like you cannot will another moon into existence
You cannot love someone out of an illness
I'm sorry I can't get better for you, it just wasn't meant to be.
CIN Mar 18
I sit with my back to the wall
Hazy gaze on the wall in front of me
In the distance there's cries and shouts
My eyes are falling
My mind is somewhere else
Floating watching someone else
That's not me
Those aren't the words i meant to say
I lied so much I cant tell whats real anymore
Everything goes so slow
Yet the time ticks by faster and faster
Dread builds up in my stomach
Someone asks me for a dollar
But I can't find my voice to speak
i dont feel good
N Mar 15
I exist in the midst of
the ruins of myself, and
the stranger I have become

The day greets me with its
aching loneliness forcing me
to suffer through its brutal hours

Even in my dreams,
I am still being crushed  
by the heaviness of the night

And I do not know
if I can bear to see
another burning sunset
N Mar 15
What you see is before you
is a groaning animal that has
forgotten it used to be human

With flowing words,
simply seeking the pleasures of being,
and an immense love to pour

By god,
I could have sworn that
I have felt the joy of living once

But now, I cannot bare
the agonizing sound
of my beating heart
A nod to Osamu Dazai
N Feb 10
My mind is a shrieking graveyard
that is too freighting to visit alone

I hear the skulls of all the people I
have ever loved rattling inside my heart

I do not know how to quiet
down their wailings at night

I have nothing to offer them,
but my dripping pain

Alone, I weep,
lamenting their forgotten laughter
Mica Light Jan 26
Two stars collide.
They're beautiful -
Moving in,
Towards eachother.

You'd think it'd be a beautiful sight.
But when they touch a spark ignites, and
Up in flames goes everything we know.

𝘐 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶...

My edges are crooked.
My corners are sharp.
My skin can be rough.
My heart can be dark.
For I am a mourner,
Of all of my lives.
Of all of the pain
That this heart has gained.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦...

I do miss you, and I hope
That you can see,
Behind all the trauma...
There is love. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗲.

▪︎mica light▪︎
Choose company who can hold space for your demons, and you theirs, while you banish them together in solidarity. Know your tribe.

Sidereal, (adj.): determined by or from the stars.
She said baby pick your poison
We'll silence all the voices
we'll **** the Paranoia
we're hopin'
we're hopin'

We don't know where we've been goin'
but I know that we've been glowin'
we're rollin'
we're rollin'
we're floatin'
we're floatin'

Shorty you and I was getting high and living up the moment
saw your eyes and they had me feeling golden
oh hold it
Didn't know where it was goin
I'm broken

I'm not one to tell a lie, my cup was overflowin'
hit my line a couple times and I was falling
for it
oh ****

I just want to freeze this moment
I just want to hold it
I just can't leave this moment
and now I'm frozen

I said shorty pick your poison,
all the **** the we were smoking
all the fear and all the loathing
Wasn't loving only coping

And I been feeling so numb
pale skin n frozen blood
in my lungs
falling in and
out of love

And I know I ain't living right
but you know I'll pull up when it's right
and I won't deny I'm living quiet
on the low
dreaming coast to coast.

She said baby pick your poison
We'll silence all the voices
we'll **** the Paranoia
we're hopin'
we're hopin'

We don't know where we've been going
but I know that we've been glowin'
we're rollin'
we're rollin'
we're floatin'
we're floatin'

and she's been living on the low
said baby pick your poison
if it's me then I'll be goin'
if it's me then I'll be goin'
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