I’m only supposed to live until 27 27 I am already 21 That means I have 6 years left 6 years feels like so many more lifetimes Only 23% survive Am i strong enough to be in the 23%? I don’t think i am Nothing is helping I tell people the meds help But i’m lying to them just as much as myself This is a deadly disease It destroys your mind and your body
Pained intake of breath Hot air against my cheeks You’re wrapping white cloth over my arms I’m watching red seep in like ink bleeds
Faintly, behind a splotch of black I see your eyes grow wet And though I am barely holding on I can feel the tremble in your fingers And an echo of a voice Calling my name
You’re desperately trying to push paper into the wound And I’m feeling myself bleed out despite your efforts You take me to a doctor but still I leak Transfuse your own red into me But it just leaves through my eyes and makes me feel weak
“What have you done to yourself?!” you cry And I sigh through a fit of tears You’re trying to take the pain out of me And i'm disappointing you with every breath I take
Just like you cannot will another moon into existence You cannot love someone out of an illness
I'm sorry I can't get better for you, it just wasn't meant to be.
I sit with my back to the wall Hazy gaze on the wall in front of me In the distance there's cries and shouts My eyes are falling My mind is somewhere else Floating watching someone else That's not me Those aren't the words i meant to say I lied so much I cant tell whats real anymore Everything goes so slow Yet the time ticks by faster and faster Dread builds up in my stomach Someone asks me for a dollar But I can't find my voice to speak