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i shouldn't have to buy medicine
to fuel my brain.
i shouldn't have to say sorry
for causing so much pain.
why is it so **** hard
to change the sheets after I shower?
where does the time go,
laying, lazing here for every hour?

take it slow. deep breath in, and
let it flow.
out in the deep,
i changed my sheets,
senses rarely feel so clean.
and you meet me
out in the park, under a streetlight.
"it's been a very long time."
i know.
i know.
i know.
i don't actually agree with this stuff, like (coming from a person with a mental illness) people with mental illnesses should be held accountable for their actions and should have to apologize for causing pain. i was in a really bad place when i wrote this i guess, but i definitely don't hold the same morals. i think i must've been off my meds or something ****
Kelsey Feb 18
UP
The world is mine
To reinvent myself
Breathe in euphoria
Like oxygen
Barely sleep a wink
Racing thoughts turn
Into words
Dying to get past my lips
Coming toward you
At rapid speeds
My energy
Is motivation
I can’t quit
Can’t sit
Still
Til I
C
R
A
S
H
Vitality draining
Through my pores
Leaving behind
Tired bones
That can’t get out of bed
Wishing I were dead
Even a shower
Seems impossible
Sleeping is my
Only escape
I isolate
Filled with hate
There is no hope
I’m all alone
DOWN
So you asked if I was feelin’ it
guess what? I’m ****** high.
I know they won’t remember in the morning but I spoke my mind.
The lights are on but they’ve gone home now I’m alone but who am I?

Oh how fast the evening passes cleaning up the champagne glasses.
I told you you were nothing but drama.
Oh how fast the evening passes clean up the champagne glasses
My only wish is for silence
But oh how fast the evening classes cleaned up the champagne glasses

This is true terror and horror
I wonder why I bother
But this is not new territory
My God I wonder why I even bother or they’ll think about us call it glamour but it’s only terror with all this ******* drama

Soon they’ll talk about us and discover how we kiss and **** each other.
They’ll talk even louder just to discover how we **** and kiss

I told you we were nothing but drama
But you wanted something so we offered

but oh how fast the evening passes cleaning up the champagne glasses.
M. Karrington
I could **** these feelings out
But my last lover ruined that
For me

And I can't even blame her

But I don't want to be like her
Because I did enough of that
Already, for both of us

And isn't it ******,
My friends,
How heartbreak
Can do that to a person?

And where's the drive now, huh?
Why's the release locked up
Behind
A ****** vault door?

And now the winds howl
And the rain pours
And the house creaks
And the blinds are shut

Oh what a day, a lovely day
Hello Daisies Jan 29
Pacing pacing
Pacing racing
Falling screaming

Staying going
Writing cryiNG
RACING RACING
WORDS WORDS WORDS

S T O P
NO NO

Soemone talk to me
I'm feeling needy
No wait

I feel great
It's 3am
I don't even need sleep

I've slept all day
So tired
I feel uninspired

Wow it's so pretty
I am too
Everyrhing is okay

Listen to me
LISTEN TO ME
STOP STOP

IGNORING ME

Trauma trauma
Get over it
Stop throwing a fit

Are you okay
You need help
I'll do anything

Dear god
Am i crazy
Everyone says i am

Look at them
Disturbing
I can't be like that

No wait
I like this
It makes me different

Dear god **** me
It's not unique
I'm a freak

Tears of joy yesterday
Now drops of sorrow
Ahaha love is borrowed

Whisper whipser
calming calming
The storm is coming

I sent you a novel
YOU DIDN'T REPLY
Dear god my minds dry

Stop talking
Speak to me
So restless endlessly

Daydreaming
Oh the day is gone
Where'd you all go

Time is slow
No it's F A S T
Nothing is meant to last

I'm tired now
I can't sleep
Maybe I'll research

Something neat

Goodnight
Goodnight
LEAVE ME ALONE

Okay im sorry
For the harsh tone

Why are you leaving

                        This is normal
I think i need to accept I'm like my father
With a bipolar disorder
My minds gone crazy
Not sure who i was today
People said wow yoyre so funny and happy today
But yesterday i wanted to end myself

I can't sleep again

I wish i was normal lol
a little panicked
and still impressive
I prefer shoes that don't require socks
this way, I don't get too comfortable wearing that which walks me into society
I have gotten my polyester confused with skin before

slightly manic
and daily depressive
my resolutions expire by the thread of the laundry I pick up, one by one, only a piece per morning
I step on old intentions as I dress

probably landsick
and nonaggressive
I never learned to swim, yes, the one thing I never did, but I don't wear socks to prepare, I think, for the day I decide to stop walking
When I finally stand up not to dress but to dive
Stark Dec 2018
riding out the highs of life
with manic ferocity

until

the minutiae of life
drag you down into the depths of despair

a pure loyalty like no other
hidden by a dramatized emotional facade

always there to bring you up,
simultaneously bringing themselves down
it's a slippery *****--
emotional support

Oh, to be Mercutio--
is to be the eye of a hurricane,
winding about a center
--that may not be
as stable as it seems
shakespearean bffs, pt 2
Sara Kellie Dec 2018
I am analogue.
made of troughs and of peaks.
My medication offers
silence with tweaks.
I'm upping and downing,
either dreaming or drowning.
So I can't stay too long
in case something goes wrong.

First thought of the day
is of impending doom.
Rain clouds have gathered
and it pours in my room.

Later on that day,
I feel I'm okay
and I don't know why but
. . . . . I'll take it.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Scot Nov 2018
Winston spoke of the Black Dog
It is real, it is real
Black Dog, with its’ fixed eyes
Pass me by, pass me by

But the Black Dog lingers
He chases me to and fro
My mind fears him and sinks to a low
What did Winston think of the Black Dog and what did he know?

Yet Winston fought against his foe
Black fur and white teeth aglow
Searching for Winston in his mind
And where in his mind Black Dog struck we do not know

Yet the Black Dog knows me
And I know him too, I do
I hate the Black Dog for what he intends
He seeks me and stalks me, my mind he tries bend

Yet down I spiral and as always he is there
Black Dog I hate you, yet you’re a constant presence
Tearing me down from within, it seems unfair
Always begging my acquiescence, if I dare

I disappear into myself, and no one else do I see
Dark walls all about me, into my bed I creep
Sleep too much, yet can’t sleep at all
The Black Dog on the floor beside me, pawing for my fall

At times the sun flickers through the haze
The Black Dog trots off to another
I lift myself and see things differently for a day
But the Black Dog peers at me from a distance, never far away

But wait, I launch
I can do anything
Or so it seems in my mind
But gravity crashes my dreams

Irritability conspires with the Black Dog
Send me up then toss me to the ground
Black Dog, it’s always you, driving away those I love
Pill after pill yet peace I cannot find, not even from above

Oh, Black Dog, as great Winston called you
Set me free from your jaws, let me be and remove your claws
Why did I look at you? Dared to glance?
Had I turned away would I have stood a chance?

Or did I invite you to live here?
Under the stoop of my emotions
By seeing evil things nobody should
By placing myself into the realm of anothers' pain

It’s only time before you dig a large hole
Black Dog, you’re after my very soul
If you should hear the Black Dog, please turn away your gaze
Black Dog is vicious and will follow you all your days

As for me there is no remediation
I made choices to that caused Black Dog’s glee
I put myself where others won’t station
So, Black Dog, I submit to thee
#depression #manic depression #dog #Winston #Churchill #pain #emotions #sadness
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