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rebecca 2d
she
she puts one foot in front of the other
she inhales, exhales rhythmically, robotically
she crosses the street when she sees them
she has adrenaline and anxiety and fear replacing her blood
she hangs her head
she tries to be invisible--
she used to be
she wants that life that back.
she knows they're gone now, behind her, but
she still feels watched, followed
she never asked for this trauma.
she is trapped, held hostage
she's locked up inside of her head
she wants out
she wants courage
she wants to say those two words
she wants to be free again
she never asked for this
she never wanted to be trapped at the top of her fleshy tower
she stops walking
she says it

...me...
.....too.....
This is from a prompt.
Darling it’s a cruel cruel world out there,
one that thrives on danger and despair.
And you’re neither a victim nor a prey,
but the one that bears the mark of a survivor.
“So be proud of who you are and keep your head fucking high.”
Sometimes late at night
When I’m alone in the car
Or walking down a dark path
The fear reminds me of you
I feel your fingers on my skin
The paralyzing dread
The lightness and harshness of your fingertips
The things you whispered in my ear
As I lay there
Awake but terrified
And I think of the cowards way out you took
And the shame you brought
And the excuses you made

All lies
To make me look bad
For something you did
Things you said,
Touched
File One...
(The beginning of the end)

You formed a union from naivety and misguided love
Which bore fruit, but had shallow roots at its core
Though youthful exuberance and a lust for devotion
Kept you continuously searching for something more

File Two...
(Too young to know better)

Starting a family with one child, while not planned, was
Enough to halt the search
Leaving room for number two, and before long there were three
Bundles of joy intrinsically bound to your side
Seeking nothing more than loving arms and serenity

File Three...
(Inception without conditions)

Instantaneously, a love was present
Even before my eyes gave sight
Inherent feelings of contentment
Sealed with a silent vow to always make things right

File Four...
(Incidental letdowns)

Promises are great, as long as you keep them
However, all too often, they became lies
Whether soaring aspirations or overwhelmed be the cause,
You cannot hide the defeatedness within adolescent eyes

File Five...
(Cloak of invisibility)

With the passing of life and time, your best of intentions
Always were lost in the fray
Leaving this child alone in the dark
Forever wondering if I got in the way
To the ones who never needed to be overtly attended to...To the self-sufficient, yet self-secluded ones who strive to do everything right...To the non-wave makers who are peaceful caretakers at heart...To those who love fully and unconditionally...I SEE YOU!

Being loved and feeling loved are two very different things. Never be afraid to speak with and show those closest to your heart, that they are adored! If someone matters to you, please tell them because you may not get a second chance.
Jazmine M Aug 26
Bang! Bang! Bang!
T'was like a never-ending siren.
With trauma engraved minds,
blood on their hands,
comes bravery
in each man's heart and soul.
The battlefields are their cage,
they got themselves in,
but cannot get out.
Snowflakes sprinkle down from the sky like fallen men,
While the soldiers wait like sitting ducks,
before coming face to face with death again.

Still. Still. Still.
Without the squealing bombs,
and earth shattering shells,
all seemed to be oddly still.
For the first time in forever,
almost as if they were frozen in time.
You could feel the silence
that hung over that wasteland,
on the very night,
of December 24th, 1914.
A mixture between tension, curiosity and confusion,
wafted through the British trenches like incense.
And those three feelings,
were the only things that loomed in the sky,
until an all too familiar tune filled the night...
Sweet, muffled melodys filled the air,
as a German silent night,
was being sung everywhere.

Tranquillity took over each soldiers heart, as they realised in that moment,
It was Christmas days start.
Though they longer for their families,
something felt true,
as German symphonys whispered,
through the chilly night air gloom.
And soon, the Englishmen had all joined in;
sounding somewhat like a broken choir, but to them,
It was amazing.
Something felt right,
something felt fair,
and that was the hope,
they needed to share.

Voices. Voices. Voices.
Bouncing off the walls of each trench,
of both German and Englishmen,
from both sides of the fence.
The song, silent night,
hung in the breeze,
just like twinkling lights,
laced around a Christmas tree.

Loud melodic Voices,
Flooded through the battlefield,
soldiers grinning from ear to ear,
while their hearts sung wonders.
But little were they sure,
that the singing wouldn't be the only alien sound they heard, that Christmas day or more.

Footsteps. Footsteps. Footsteps.
Feet crunching on the crisp leaves.
Englishmen were cautiously fumbling to see out of their trench,
Only to find Germans,
Wearily emerging from their wire.
Every weapon was lowered,
and suddenly,
possible peace approached.
Soldiers then,
from both sides of war,
came out from their place of stay,
and were civil,
for what Christmas they saw.

As dawn broke,
Christmas day approached,
hands were shook,
smiles were shared,
as a glimmer of hope
flew around in the air.
Football, cards, carols and more:
christmas bought them all together,
as snow fell heavy on the floor.

Loyalties didn't count for that day,
however all those hours after,
once that first bomb went off in the distance,
it was like an alarm going off,
the alarm going off and saying
"Wake up! Wake up from this dream, and go back to harsh reality".
And it was safe to say,
that not one of those men wanted to wake up.
But it was not an alarm,
as much as it sent the same message,
It was a warning instead.
A warning that they had to go back to their duties right away.
Smiles, frowns,
and sad looks all around.
Frohe Weihnatchen!
Merry Christmas!
And all went back to their grounds.
A Christmas spirit was spread that night,
which might have been the thing,
to save a mans life.
Back to work,
it was war again,
but they never forgot,
they made a friend.
Whatever the rules,
they knew it felt right.

Silent night.
Silent night.
Silent night.
A peice on the Christmas truce in ww1. May we remember those who lost their lives as we read this, and may they all remain in peice, with pride.
Meghan Aug 23
I am not your fuck toy
Not a plastic doll
Your fantasies
Don't get to come
True on my account
These aren't your fun bags
My ass is not to smack

My skin longs
For the touch of fingertips
But crawls at the thought
Bristle before, relax
Never knowing
What unwanted touch
Is coming next

Never knew to say no
Never knew wrong was wrong
Until it was all too late

Doctor in the barn
Damaged on the trail
Grabbed my wrist -- was I wrong?
Drank it all away
Faded into blackness
Forcing through the door

Older now
Learning once again
They only want one thing from you;
You're just a last resort
So feign for their attention
Gave as good as got
Dove right down that rabbit hole
Trying to drown it out

And still -- trapped, touched
Touche
But then again, and "No"
That famous word
So infamously hard to hear

Too ashamed to fight back
Give in
Then
Live in
FEAR

Let me say again
Because it bears repeating:
Give in, then
Live in fear
Bare --
Repeating

R-A-P-E
Say it with me now
Such an ugly word
How does it make you feel

Do you feel ashamed
Are you feeling scarred
Do you feel her fear
Or is it not so clear?
Do you feel
Powerful now
Or is it
All her fault

Such an ugly word
So,  say it with me now
R-A-P-E
Found out what it means to me.
Maya Aug 16
i see the ships pass by
but only when the waves
don't cover my eyes.
i remember nothing
and my only friends
are clouds and stars.

the name of the boat i was on
is always on the tip
of my tongue
but it slips away
with the tides
as do i.

fish have started to nibble on me.
it's a strange sensation,
not unpleasant.
i know what that means, though.
i know i am dead.

i'm not scared
just relaxed
floating on the water
smelling the salt
feeling the breeze

i am lonely though
and a little cold
i must have had a family.
what happened
to all the other lifeboats?

aha! i remember the name of my boat.
i think it was called the Titan...
no, i'm pretty sure it was
the Titanic.
Kora Sani Aug 15
You're a victim
a poor, helpless
victim
You're a survivor,
you made it through

Feel grateful
it could've been worse
you could've been killed
well
I was

I was shot

Right through the naive wall
that was supposed to protect me

I was shot

By a man who knew my vulnerability

I tried to dodge the bullets
With every "no",
I shielded my face from the bullets coming at me
With every "stop",
I ducked my head
And with every moment of paralyzed silence
I failed to defend myself

I was shot
Aerial Fabish Aug 10
It's fucked up how I'm constantly told
"Learn to forgive and let go"
Like that will erase my pain
I think what they really want is to bind my lips shut,
But coming from a place of concern sounds better than admitting their discomfort.
He will never earn my forgiveness.
Everything he does will seem like blatant hypocrisy or proof of his evil.
Instead, I will forgive the girl
Who served her body for the monster to feast on and then defended him even while her skin was still in his teeth
Because I know now it was never her fault.
I will let go of my hatred for the girl who wrote him letters everyday after school and wished on birthday candles to be together someday
Because I know now it was a way for her to cope.
What I will not do is silence myself
Because inside of me lives
A little girl
With bloodied knees and bruised knuckles and a voice hoarse from screaming at the world and not being heard.
So I will pick up her pen
And crusify him with it
I will use her birthday candles as torches
To light the path for other lost little girls to follow.
hi my name is broken and
i once caught my father using all his teeth hands lip and tongue on a woman that was not his own
outside my bedroom window,
i spent the night trying to convince myself that
love is real love is real love is real
because after that i wasn’t ever really sure.

hi my name is survivor and
i was once a punching bag for my stepfathers anger and houses in the country will forever terrify me
all because of a random man and his prying fingers and his sticky gum,
and then there’s this third set of bones and dark flesh that made me so afraid of my own skin i had to tell myself
i am beautiful i am beautiful i am beautiful
because hate and death wasn’t my only option.

hi my name is butterfly and
i once broke every bone in my body falling so hard for a girl with the loveliest voice i’ve ever heard but she had other bodies underneath her
thick brown belt
she wouldn’t let herself feel all the things i felt,
i spent thanksgiving in a mental hospital chanting over and over
i am lovable i am lovable i am lovable
because without even trying, she had managed to convince me that i wasn’t.

hi my name is destroyer and
i chose water over blood because blood burned and drowned and buried me ten feet down all at the same time and i didn’t want to die because of them
anymore
i split in half all the walls and windows and doors to my home,
i needed to do and be what was best for me so i told myself again and again
i’m not alone i’m not alone i’m not alone
because all i felt was the aftermath of being the very thing that broke up my home.

hi my name is lover and
i tend to give too much of me way too quickly because i don't fall in love, i dive with feet facing the sky, head towards the concrete
and i wonder how i end up being so broken and incomplete
so i wound up all the glue and all the tape,
i muttered over and over in between each breath
fate isn't fake fate isn't fake fate isn't fake
because my heart always seemed to pound a few beats behind, a few beats too late.

hi my name is suicide and
i stepped in front of trains and bullets and knives and i hate yous and you’re nothings all looking for a father that
never really wanted me
he broke my throne, i cut more than just my hair, i no longer want to be here,
and i screamed at the top of my lungs because
it’s worth it it’s worth it it’s worth it
it just doesn’t feel like it anymore.
it's been such a long time, i don't feel the same.
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