need to be small
need to be held
my chest screams sobs and rebels
Its hardly real;
of it I won't make more.
i love and startle myself...
well ..I try to ignore...
you know, i startle and
try to outrun
all the things I adore!
I want to catch loving looks,
To feel adoration and care,
Vainly try to resist the pull,
Because of the feelings shared.
I want heart-warming hugs,
Soft lips' sensitive touch,
All-night-long talks under the stars,
Honesty, happiness, trust.
I want to drown in the warmth of eyes
To hear words coming from heart.
I want to break my armors' ice
And fall deeply and deeply in love.
I can see how not many people couldn’t get it
I can see how I demand the attention but at what cost?
Uncertainty is a game for the conscious, those who are unconscious are innocent
It’s easy not knowing but then again, I crave
Of imagery, beauty, adoration
The shadow who smiles wickedly, cackles underneath
It was never that what I seek but it’s a must
Is that how we suppose to live? The shadow will do so in order to sustain
The imagery, beauty, and adoration
But at what cost you ask? Nothing
Just shame, pain, and the shadow cackles again wickedly
The day I met you I was drunk
The house was breathing with life and memories being made
And I heard someone mumble something about someone being here
And nearly panicked at the possibilities of whom it could've been
But then you spoke
The room died down for a few seconds,
As if everyone there knew how important you were
And how important you would be
Then exploded into laughter
And you vanished into the crowd leaving a canary yellow glass slipper behind as a calling card
The first Wu-Tang song we listened to together was C.R.E.A.M
I didn't know you were a fan until it came on
And suddenly I remembered that slipper
And as time went on, I'd slowly begin to understand the level of your royalty
I'd see you fight back invisible armies in the name of love
I'd see you take command and charge the world with fire in your eyes
And eventually I realized that, around you
I was invincible
(Or felt like it at least)
And now, here you lay
Empress of Goons and Wu-Tang
Goddess of the very moon and stars that speak through your eyes each time you smile
Queen of the Hood Rats
Princess, and keeper of the key to my heart
And as I watch you laugh and enjoy yourself
I'll clutch the glass slipper behind my back
And wonder when the right time to present it to you is
And I'll pray that one day
You'll allow me to call you mine
Watching the sunset
feels so peaceful
Watching the sunset
But no sunset
can be so beautiful
when i look at you
some poem drafts on my notebook
our love was always the pink elephant in the room
everyone saw it
once we realised, it was already over and done
You are the most beautiful,
Exquisite, exotic flower
To ever grow between
Overlooked sidewalk cement
And I adore you.
I wonder when the rest will see.
i liked how i opened you
from the depths within our small world
how i pushed you out of the blue
now, nothing is blurred
i adore how you speak with so little words
from the way you choose the phrases you tell
how one word from you i instanly get absurd
now, i realized, i have fell
i love how you remember the smallest of the things
from my strange fascinations to my ordinary repulsion
how you remind me of my often mood swings
now, everything's just a memory fraction
i liked how you opened me from my own
i adored how you can have such patient with me
i loved how you always get me in any tone
now, I'm letting you free.
to the person whose memory i try to hold on to, I'm letting you go.
longing. yearning. wanting. so many words for
a singular feeling. they never taught me how
to love an enigma. mystery’s an intrigue.
it wrenches you in like
beast in beauty and the beast. joker in joker—
now this is not to say you’re a ******* furry or
an anarchist’s *******: you are holy.
holy, as in baptise me
in your aprillian light;
grind my guts into grime
break my bones into brimstones and
let me love you twice
as hard. thrice the hurt.
four times the trouble,
five times the heart
you see, i’m very good at counting.
i’ll even do it for the both of us.
like how it’s been 437 days since saturn tore her knees.
75 days since you were anointed god.
20 after we fell apart and i know
i’m jumping into conclusions again. i know
you never said goodbye. not really,
but what is “see you when i see you” if not a gentle rejection?
you’re very fond of maybes,
that’s how i knew you were god.
so maybe we’ll meet in september,
shades of chartreuse forgotten under our feet.
changes in the weather, changes in the sweater
your touch no longer seduces me like summer
so then maybe,
with bones regrown like eden
i will reach for your temple
and show you how much i love you.