If you ripped my heart out
Right from inside my chest
You'd wonder as I often do
How a something so shattered and empty
Could feel so heavy.

People come,
and Lovers go.
Follow your passion
and strive for your goal.

Tomorrow is real,
and time will come.
But love is reserved
for the naive ones.

Love is for the lonely
or the ones who haven't found themselves.
Not for you, you pretty one
take the world for yourself.

You cannot fall in love,
What falls, breaks.
And you cannot grow in it either,
for the seeds are fakes.

Don't let love misguide you,
for its nothing but a shadow.
It'll linger and fade,
because people themselves outgrow.

I tell you this as a warning.
Steel up your heart, and let it grow cold.
For if you cannot love, you cannot get heart-broken.
At least... That's what I'm told...

These sands of time
slowly slip through my mind,
Grains that slow and fade,
unable to be defined

Are we really living life,
or are we just living to breathe?
To count the days as they fade away,
softly in the summer breeze?

I want to believe there's more
To life then the eye can see
but my time is ticking away
and soon I won't be me

I'm fading away
slowly
I'm losing time.

I'm fading away
slowly
as I lose myself in rhyme.

These grains of time
have slipped away
up into the breeze.

You won't see me again
I've slipped away
out into the sea.

So tell me now,
now that my time is done
do you miss me at all?

Or are you still lost
within the worlds of time
running towards your own downfall?

I'm an artist they say...
I painted my illusions of dreams
I drew on a smile everyday,
I was happy, so it seemed

But my palette ran low
As my colors faded grey
Now my life holds on by a thread
And I'm just fighting just to stay

Because as the days go on,
I let these colors bleed through.
From my paper to my skin,
I'm nothing but red, black, and blue.

I turned myself into a canvas
Trying to describe this strife
But it wasn't beautiful at all
For my paintbrush was a knife

And my paintings are nothing but
empty promises of what we once knew
The only color left in my life
Are my memories of you

Your eyes have seen all my demons
Your heart peeked at my soul
You even had tea with my skeletons
You picked up my pieces and made me whole

So why is there still something hallow
Entangled in the midst of my chest
Why are there horrid thoughts lurking,
These lingering demons leaving me stressed.

I wear my scars on my skin,
You tell me they make me strong,
I hesitantly take off my masks,
And wait for you to figure out you're wrong

I stand there waiting,
Doubts thundering in my brain
Slowly the lies diminish
My secrets wash away in the rain

Now there's just me and you
Though some of my demons linger too
And tonight I'm completely
Vulnerable...
Tonight I'll be completely
True
Tonight I'll open up my heart,
Completely
Just for *you

We dance on the edges
Of our silhouetted frames
As if we were water
Dripping lightly
On empty window panes

But you were the dewdrops
Bringing life to the days
Drizzling slightly to bring
Rainbows diminishing the grays

And the first time
Your deep ocean eyes
Met with mine
I began to wonder
If you would've danced in the rain
Singing as I always did
Or if you would've hid under umbrellas,
Like the others, too afraid
Of the storm
I was born to be?

We all know the story of the tooth fairy..
She'd leave a gift under your pillow
In exchange for taking your lost tooth
A perfect trade, A perfect dream, A perfect fantasy
My first lost tooth?- Not so perfect

You see I never saw your fist hurling towards my face
The hands that held me so close as a baby
Now became a tool of your aggression.
I just wanted to tell you good night...
To tell you everything would be okay

Because through your silent glares and late night yells,
I saw the tear of despair roll down your face...
I saw how broken you must've been
Underneath the weight of the world
Drowning your stress in bottles
Of what you called "your medicine"

All I ever wanted was to make sure you knew
How much I still loved you
Despite how many times you hurt mommy
All I ever wanted was to make sure you knew
How much I still cared
And that you were going to be okay...
We would be okay.

We could take our bikes out again
Ride down the street and dance in the rain
You could take me to our favorite park
Where I would be the superhero and save you
From the sand monster in the sand box
Then we'd go get some pizza
And watch the sun dip below the waves
The angels, you said, would paint the sky for us
And we'd ride our bikes back to the place we called home
You and mommy would tuck me in at night
And kiss me on the forehead to tell me
That I'd always be loved...
That it would all be okay

Instead,
I went in for a hug
And you punched me in my face.
You
Punched Me
In my face
....
The one person I ever trusted
The one person I ever loved
Was the reason I had blood on my lips
For the first time I could rememeber

You didn't flinch
So I didn't cry
But seven years later
I'm still stuck wondering why
You took away the happiness I was supposed to feel
When I lost my first tooth
And replaced it with this monstrous nightmare of you

Because the next morning I woke up and realized
The tooth fairy never came
To grant my one wish of being happy with you
And every morning after that I woke to realize
The tooth fairy was a fantasy
And so was my childhood happiness with you

-To: My First Heartbreak

Another year
has Come and passed
Who knew
this long I would last.

My body is working
But I can't move
My heart is paralyzed
At the sight of you.

And my lips are moving
but words can't escape
Your name stuck in time,
as I stand here agape...

In the back of my mind,
thoughts swirling inside
memories crashing and burning ,
drowning in the deep tide.

The reality you convinced me was true
turned out to be nothing more
than a figment of my mind.

The truth you convinced me was reality
turned out to be nothing more
than a lost paradise I designed.

And a single tear
drops
from my face

And my heartbeat
stops
empty in space

As my realities crash
and tear into pieces
My life crashes
and cries into shreds...
Because you were all left of me
And now that too is dead.

Well,
If I thought you could fix me
I guess I was wrong
Cause all we could
is try to heal ourselves in song

I guess,
We're both broken,
But if you're a wreck,
I'm a catastrophe and
drowning in my own mess

Because,
Now we're apart
and all that is left
Are these unfinished words
and promises never kept.

Tonight,
I'm drowning in my own tears
and memories of you
in a room of broken music notes
and broken hearts too.

And,
I want to run back to you
but I know that will be wrong.
I guess we were never meant to be
anything more than an unfinished song...

...
And that was when
I finally realized
My demons made home
In the valleys of where
My wounds ran so deep
They became scars
Full of ghosts and regret
Echoing nothing but
The deafening screams
Of silence once lost

Lost in the waves
By the sweet salty sea
Watch my thoughts float away
Deep into the breeze

As the tides pull away
They always come back you see
Like when I push you away
And you come back to me

The ripples in the water
Come to wash away our sins
Second chances are rare,
So where do we begin?

Now the seeping sand weeps
And burns away our past
It buries the skeletons away
And the shadows that they cast

You told me once before
That together we'd finish this fight
That we have to wash away our demons
If we want to live right

So walk with me for now
Away from our problems, into the night
Walk with me for now
Away from our shadows, into the moonlight

These old poems...
Turn to new songs
As I dream sitting awake
All night long

And the days...
They will go by
As I regret demons past
And saying goodbye

But at least when I'm awake...
At 2 AM and thinking of you
I'll have these songs with me
And something to sing to.

So sick of seeing familiar faces
So done with this whole joke.
So tired of the same old places
And these memories so broke.

Well you told me it'd get better
You sang it to me in rhyme.
But words can't make life sweeter
And I'm just stuck in time.

My plastic smiles have faded
My hope vanished somewhere.
The only option left is to run
To I don't know where.

Running away from myself
While trying to reach this goal
Never running fast enough
To escape out of this hole.

So tell her sorry for me
The little girl with so many dreams,
She just wanted to touch the stars
And not be so broken at the seams...

I just want you to be happy
I just want to save your soul
Because its selfish of me to want you
When my own life's out of control

You can't help me with my demons
While you still have yours to tame
You can't sit with me through the darkness
I don't want you to feel that pain

So I'll tell you I hate you
That you need to leave
Because I can't be selfish tonight
Though I want you to stay with me

All I wish is for you to have a happy life
One where you achieve all your hopes and dreams...

All I want is for you to have a fairy tale ending
Not be dragged down by someone broken at the seams...

But to give that perfect to you
I'll have to make you cry today
Just know how much I love you
And can't let your life fade to gray

I just want you to be safe
I just want to see you smile
And even though I'll forever miss you
You'll forget me after a while

Well life never goes as planned
And some dreams never meant to come true
So I'll forever be stuck in the sand
Though I just want to start anew.

A clean slate, A clean soul
With no past haunting me
A new name, A new goal
To live like I was meant to be.

No more bad decisions
No more stupid rhymes
No more dealing with feelings
Or any more tough times.

I'll keep my mouth shut this time
No sharing secrets or more pain
Be the perfect person I want to be
Not this broken girl gone insane.

Then maybe I can make her happy
That little girl stuck staring at the sky
And turn these useless words to something
So life could be more than a lie...

In a room full of people
Yet I'm so empty inside
So tired of putting on these masks
With nowhere to hide

Under my bed
in the midst of the night
my demons run loose
and keep me up with fright

I'm constantly running
Away from myself
Screaming, shouting, crying
For anyone to help

And as the sun rises
I've survived another day
Still clinging on to the hope
That this will all go away

I guess
That after you,
I'm just* *cursed
To forever fear
Opening up
To anyone
Ever again
...
I've hidden
The pieces
Left of me
Deep inside
My steel heart
...
I'm just cursed
To forever push
Everyone away
...
Everywhere I look
I see these
Iron walls
Constricting
And yet...
...
I'm just cursed
To forever live
Behind these walls
I keep putting up
...
It's Dark
And Abandoned
Here
But it's
The only place
That's
Safe
...
I'm just
Cursed Lonely
**For forever and over again

I want to say goodbye
Leave all these shadows behind
So you need to let me go
In life there's no rewind

You try to save me from myself
But you can't save someone
who wants to drown

You try to pull me back up
But the only way I can see
from here is down

These cuts are getting too deep
And these whispers too loud
There's no peace even in sleep
And I'm just an empty face in the crowd

See I ran out of plastic smiles
And misplaced my mask
Now my true colors are bleeding through
Who knows how long I'll last

But promise me one thing
Just one thing I ask
Let me say goodbye tonight
Let me escape what's past

Everything you see is art

He loves me

The way you focus your camera
And get that gleam in your eye
Right before capturing a moment
Before it slips away

He loves me not

The way you focus on me
And get that sparkle in your eye
Right before capturing my lips with yours
Before our moment slips away

He loves me

Everything you touch is art

He loves me not

The way your fingers glide across
The guitar strings
As you breathe melody into the world

He loves me

The way your fingers glide across
My bare skin
As you breathe fire into my bones

He loves me not

Everything about you is art

He loves me

But nothing about me is

He loves me not

Me, the empty canvas

He loves me

You, my only form of art

He loves me not

One intoxicating touch

He loves me

My broken heart

*He loves me not

Sometimes I pretend to be a poet
Because poetry is art
And art is beautiful forever,
Whether its burned, scratched, or torn apart

And you can judge me all you want
The little lines and splatters of ink everywhere
Judge me across the window pane
Like I'm a broken masterpiece beyond repair

All these words written in the night
All these emotions painted on my skin
Admire me from afar, sweetheart
Or you'll see the darkness within

One step too close you might break me
Shatter all my endless walls
Break my skin and cut me so deep
That I may never stop the fall

One little cut is all it takes
Watch my words bleed onto the page

One little tear until it breaks
Watch my demons flood onto the stage

One little cut,
One little tear,
One broken smile,
Watch it all disappear

One little word,
One little line,
One broken poet,
Well, the end is near...