Sometimes think of happier days
How the sun shines brighter with your touch
All the desire sworn to me
Within confines of your clutch

As brain climbs up and down memories
Performing astounding acrobatics midair
What I want above anything else
For you to prove you care

This is my mind's obsession
Realize there's no turning back
Pills improve mood until effects fade
Then I am forced to deal with what I lack

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

And rain always calls for a raincoat
Boots and a hat for good measure
But Tim didn't need any protection from the storm
In the downpour in fact he took pleasure

His father put the pressure on
From a young age expected perfection
So when he grew up he got the hell out of dodge
Moved far away from parental correction

He was always in a drinking mood
Any time of day or night
If you caught him four drinks or more in
Whew! He was quite a sloppy sight!

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

He drank hard alcohol and beer
Without discrimination
Either one would work just fine
For his goal of inebriation

He was a bit too rough on his body
Which is an overly gross understatement
He neglected his health and mental well-being
In reckless pursuit of entertainment

He wasted his life away getting wasted
Never pausing to consider that he might be missing out
Too self-destructive to attract a wife
So a family he chose to live without

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

There was the time Tim broke his shoulder
Falling out of a tree
Because someone bet he couldn't reach the top
A task that proved to be an impossibility

Tim hardly ever brushed his teeth
So they all fell out by age 45
But considering his lifestyle
He was just lucky to still be alive

Surprisingly he was a religious man
Although not one page of the bible did he read
He had heard Jesus turned water to wine
That was all the preaching he'd ever need

This is the story of Good-Time Tim
That I sit down to tell you today
No matter the weather
No matter the season
This man just wanted to play

As he grew old he began to slow down
But not once did he ever regret
The countless mistakes he had made through the years
I guess the ***** made him forget

His liver held up for a very long time
But eventually started to rot
But for Tim it was too late to get sober
So he still swallowed shot after shot

When the doctor gave him his fatal diagnosis
He laughed and said "I'm ready to go
But make sure I'm buried with a bottle
In case they don't serve liquor way down there below!"

You make everything feel alright
Around your heart my dreams take flight
Even if there is pain during the day
When you come home your kiss takes it away

No drug is ever
Worth the price of your pain. The
Cost outweighs the high.

The seasons shift
Fade away
Gets a bit colder each bitter day
Moment after moment slips from my hand
Stuck here struggling to understand
You moved on but I'm paralyzed
Guess by now I should have realized
Start walking forward
Turn around
To past it seems I am hopelessly bound
Loving you making me lose my mind
Still I am unable to leave memories behind
You lost yourself somewhere along the way
Why am I still addicted to who you are today?
Is it because I have forfeited so much for you?
Because you're familiar?
Have no clue
When will soul finally know serenity?
Life plunges me deeper into insanity
Why is the universe unfair?
World so cold
I had it all
Now nothing to hold
Begins wearing heart's patience thin
I start to bleed and am left with no skin
Falling backwards into pit of insecurity
Every minute without you feels like eternity

The darkness holds desires
Through life is always there
Presence that never expires
Can always feel his stare

Waiting to take happiness
Step off a ledge to get away
That only brings me more stress
I struggle every day

You can't craft honor
Character a clear birthmark
Darkness a defect

What about me do you find loveable?

You do much more than I deserve

What are redeeming qualities?

You and I go way back
I feel it's more than that

Why?

You do all you are able to make me happy

I do what I can to make you happy
Your efforts are equivalent to a greater amount than my own

I do not understand your love
Welcome it all the same

I'm tired of waking up,
I'm trying to fight this alone,
I don't want to spend every day,
Broken hearted and on my own.

I find remnants of you everywhere,
Scattered all over my bed tonight,
Not all girls are good at being strong,
I'm falling apart in the moonlight.

I was only lying to myself,
When I said this was indefinite,
Its obvious youre done with me,
That you don't want to recommit.

My spirit has never been so low,
I'm close to being paralyzed,
I really didn't see this coming,
How could I not be surprised?

You left me in the afterglow,
and now things will never be the same,
The wind is always whispering
To me, repeating your name.

I'm haunted by your lingering ghost,
The past is being awoken,
You don't need me in your life anymore,
and now my heart is forever broken.

Arms still raise goosebumps
Though your stare I often see
Paralyzing blues

No fancy journals
Designer markers or pens
Number two pencil

I'm trying so hard to stay sober,
Taking it one day at a time,
But I'm barely hanging on,
Struggling on this uphill climb.

I'm on the wagon for good now,
But isn't that what I always say?
It seems like no matter what I do,
That is the one place I never stay.

Too soon, I'll fall off onto my ***,
And flush all my progress down the drain,
The landing hurts, but not for long;
The drugs are there to numb the pain.

Maybe this time I'll do better,
Tomorrow will be day twenty-three,
Although it feels so good to get high,
Sober is what I'm trying to be.

He went to bed
Clouds in his eyes
Counting the sheep jumping in the skies
Balancing columns high up in the air
Above the world beneath his hair

Pretend you are normal
Act like you are okay
Pretend this is just
An ordinary day

Pretend that you are happy
Act like you do not mind
Pretend this will not happen
Some other time

Pretend you will get through this
Act like you do not care
Pretend it isn't words
They want your soul to share

Pretend you do not hurt
Act like nothing is real
Pretend until the emotions
You fake become real

Dreams of fir trees
Candy canes
Dancing Christmas lights
Gingerbread houses
Mistletoe
And presents wrapped tight
Santa Claus with his sleigh and reindeer
Each merry day that passes brings Christmas more near

Do not fall in love
Go before you break in two
I don't deserve you

If given the chance would you ask for me back?
Each tear I've shed would you help me uncry?
The bad moments erased like an amnesiac
Reverse time to before you said goodbye

You'd be a better man than you were
I would be better too
Stop you from walking out the door
Would not give you a reason to

Promise me we'll come out stronger
We'll reach the other side
One day we can claim we made it
Not that we only tried

And when rest of the world gives up
Want to be able to say we did not
We attempted again and again until we succeeded
Not just "gave it a shot"

Each of these struggles faced together
Not a trap
A test
Persisted by any means necessary
Unlike those "doing their best"

Sometimes I am all out of resolve
Don't think I can do this anymore
Right when I am about to leave
Remind me what I'm doing this for

I seem to cry a lot presently
Afraid of tomorrow without your embrace
Simply need to know you'll still be here
When storm clears and a rainbow takes it's place

It was a summer of firsts;
Young love wild and free,
The first time someone noticed,
The woman I was to be.

On some days it sweltered,
Other days were cooled by rain,
Those months brought intense new passion,
Followed by even deeper pain.

Amidst the July heat,
And melted gold sunshine,
I got drunk off your kisses,
And homemade blackberry wine.

It was great while it lasted,
But soon we figured out,
That goodbyes are really,
What summer love is about.

Despite attempts to stop time,
Our present turned to past,
But I swear an eternity,
Still would have ended too fast.

It is hard to believe,
But my heart loves you still,
Even after years apart,
I know now it always will.

Nothing there anymore
Everything good thrown out
Did not try to stop it
What is there to talk about?

Enjoy little things in life
While you can
Before ended by Death's knife
Interrupting plan

I used to hide all day
Escaping problems that pursued
Leaving behind obstacles in my way
I am the one surroundings exclude

There is no shortcut to happiness
On this earth tread upon
We pass on a great big mess
To bury after you're gone

I will claw through tunnels
Until I find rightful place
Help you with your struggles
Cradled in my embrace

Until my wick rekindles yours
Reanimates you
Makes heart pound
Will crawl through soil and explore
Dig you out from the ground

The tomb intended for me instead
Buried you to save my soul
To end madness in my head
Dying
Thoughts swallowing whole

I walk this road of ruptured dreams
Softness fading from fingertips
Savoring warm remnants of bright sunbeams
Light out of my grasp slowly slips