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Ahmad Attr Aug 18
The water drops slowly and plinks
The pendulum sways and echoes
Through the rustling leaves, the birds sing
Lock the room, take out my phone, and view photos
The ones I took of you
You look so pretty when you think nobody’s looking
Caught in the moment, uncovered by the clothes
There’s so much skin to see
Where should I start? Where should I look?
Your chest or your sinewy abdomen?
Or your well-fed legs?
Forever captured undressed
You pretty lashes seaming your closed eyes, sleeping
I’m in rapture, watching you dream
Don’t mind me, I’m just taking a peak
It’s just between you and me
Soon the sounds of my palm
Begin to get louder than the flowing water
My breathing couples up with whimpering
A built up for crescendo in my head
And in my body
My bed pulls me tighter as I sweat
You look so good in this photo
You look so good
So good
You
You
You, you, you, you
y-
……
……
……


I’m so ****** up.....
A guilty ******
p.s: this is fiction, i don't condone such actions
Ahmad Attr Aug 16
My dear lover
I’m so impressed
Your hygiene is perfect
Your room clean, dustless
The midnight blue curtains
Waving over the Iranian carpet
Your bed instead of smelling like sweat
It’s only shampoo and deodorant
Your clothes; they don’t even smell
Honestly that’s a disappointment
I thought I will found you here but they’re so clean

I saw your unsent letters on the table
Ah so polite, never thought you are capable of that
An unused ashtray,
A calendar stuck on the wall, still displaying April
All these books and diaries from your sponsors
So many pictures of girls in your room
Which one is yours, which one is most miserable
Your closet is full of your shoes
I saw your shirts hanging, the ones you wear
And the ones you haven’t yet
These fabrics that enchant the world surrounding you

Such a big mansion you have
Glimmering and glistening
I almost got lost
The disinfected floors and phenols
Led me to the bathroom
Splendid!
Is it here you get all naked?
Oh these fortunate mirrors, curtains, tiles and showers
Get to watch you all alone

I danced and pranced in the hallways
With my feet tapping loudly on the floor
And the kitchen where food drips off your lips
And the garden where you sip your tea
And the veranda where you watch the sun sink in
And the garage with your fancy white car

Before I took my leave,
I traced all the walls with my fingertips
Imbue them with my fallen skin
So a part of me will always remain with you
Such a thrill, so romantic
It was getting late so I had to run
Until next time when I decide to come
Until next time when you’re not home
And I’ll be there, all alone
So much pain weighing down heavy heart
Wish I would let sadness go
Clinging to my skin like static
Stalking like own shadow
Sighs..
Shame stalks me like shadows
On my heels
Put myself through so much torture
Must like the way it feels

Blame you for depression
I know that isn't true
Because I already struggled
Before I lost you

Words you whispered walk through skull
Play phrases on repeat
Conscious of fact I'll never hear them again
Whimper in defeat

In midst of motionless self-pity
Chaos indetectably brews
Conflicted between sticking up for myself
Or withstanding more mistakes I'll excuse

A stillness appeared a moment
As quickly as arrived it is gone
Built on instability
Cannot trust pavement I tread upon

Rippling across distance
Wind melodic
Moving
Thin
Fabric of time and space silky soft
Not quite as soft as your skin

A trail of kisses leads to
waistband
By my moseying mouth
In turn undress me til body is bare
Slowly work your **** sin south

Bars of piano play symphonies
Resounding from the middle of my mind
Waves rolling in and out with the current
Notes are far more tender and kind

I let myself bask in bittersweet glow
Melting due to warmth of total bliss
Voice has never sounded so smooth
Collision never like this

My being joining in rhythm
Tangling until we are one
We remain connected by flesh
Some time after we are done

Eventually guilt emerges
Torn between directions
Why must head and my heart
Inhabit different sections?

I long to be with you
I'm afraid as soon as you know I care
Feelings will fade when I close my eyes
Open them and again you won't be there
Its the same thing over and over again
I wanted to say a few words
I couldn't have said otherwise
My eyesight is sore and blurred
My voice, it constantly lies
You think I despise you so much
But that's nowhere close to my feels
I imagine your heavy, strong touch
My heart's clenched and my head reels
You sit, and I watch from afar
You walk, and I'm trailing behind
For me you're a guiding star
Still the rocketship's nowhere to find
There's many lewd jokes on my mind
But now they're all totally gone
My head is so empty and blind
Whenever you're being around
I sit here cross-legged and wait
I'm waiting for you to start talking
You've always so much to say
I have to stand up and get walking
Walking away, it's all pointless
My mind is a ludicrous mess
My body's all sluggish and jointless
From my thoughts, I have nowhere to rest
I want you to notice and praise me
I want you to cry and to smile
I want all your good days and bad days
I've wanted you now for a while
They always considered me ******
But that's how it is, I don't mind
As long as you'll listen, I'll tell you:
There'll be always a room by my side.
old something.
Waking up to locked doors and closed shades
Walking while observing faces, you fade
I go through my day with you on my mind
Although we're never face to face,  I know you're never far behind
Go home with knife in hand
Just in case it happens again
Lock myself up,  shut myself in get ready for another night
Where I see your shadow dance across my walls and my fear blinds my sight
Frozen in pain
of the memories that remain
Try to sleep just to wake and do it all again tomorrow even though I pretend
That im alright,  and safe,  and ok knowing your search never ends.
Carlo C Gomez Dec 2020
From
the veil of
trees, I can
peer into
your window,
and count
the family,
imagine them
gone to bed,
dreaming of blue,
"underwater, unaware."

Those summer
evaporations tickle
my skin,
bring on such
an observational
itch:
how you,
freshly out
of the pool,
bloomed
brightly on
Betamax.
neth jones Sep 2020
i snail in your wake
a ringing skim of perforations and pikes
   taking readings

your signals
         manage agitated faults in me
       leased opiates
and a sensory quake

you dropped a hair tie
i form limb-like mucous spits
i join them on the far side of the object
   membrane surrounds and i engulf the collected

this       is       much       encouragement
i may increase my demands of you

i trail after you still
   sensitive to the tokens of love
       you patter behind for me
sensitive to the coding
       in the minute alterations you make
                                    of your daily routine
grow a beard
two times a year.
let your hair grow down to your shoulders
and then cut it.

take selfies at goodwill,
wear the same seven outfits.

never smile, it draws
attention :)

stay at home
like a ship at the dock,
and observe seashells
from the deck, never straying far...

download a dating app
to keep tabs on the ex
for you know not
of that day,
or hour.

is there something important
you've been ignorant of
your whole life?

wonder what the cops think
when you pass them on the street,
now that they know who you are.

wonder if
the Man might motion
to **** us then run
to their bunkers without
a second thought.

ablute truth and wonder
if its a delusion,
or if you're the subject
of a global illusion.

come on now,
don't fake it;
don't say you
can't take it.
August 2020
(Vigilate, que nescitis enim quando
dominus domus veniat...)
Tori Schall Mar 2020
"Could you spare a moment?
I need to talk to you,
it's important."

"Not right now,
I'm busy.
Can we talk later?"

"Oh, okay."

And we never talk.
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