I saw her face,
From the streetlight so dim,
She looked scared and alone,
No one to be with.

I wanted to help,
And show her I cared,
But she never asked,
She never stared.

Her heart was my warmth,
Filled with her magic,
I held her core,
The holes in her jacket,

Because she looked frozen,
From things of her past.
I knew of her memories,
Just wanted ours to last.

Last more than our scars,
That will endlessly bleed,
We traveled so far,
Like you wouldn’t believe.

Your face is perfect,
Hides the reflection,
Of you hurting,
Despite your perfections.

You know distance,
Back by the wall.
I keep drifting,
Can’t hold love’s ball.

Your eyes sing of haze,
Mine cry out why.
No reason to fade,
No reason to die.

Your flaws are perfect,
Redefining wrong.
Only so certain,
Don’t know how long.

You keep me up,
I keep me down.
I want to run,
And never be found.

You may be burned,
Love hurts us all.
My love has turned,
Rejected its call.

there once a girl named emma... who deserved the world. we talked so much, we felt so much together through our poetry online. and even though we couldn't see each other in person, combinations of letters being the only way of communication, it was a beautiful thing. we talked a lot about our problems and lifted each other up as much as we knew how to. but life had bigger problems and... we lost contact. the thing is, i appreciated her and appreciate her now even more. she liked every poem i ever wrote, always supporting me in every way she could and it meant so much. i just didn't even realize it. she helped me through a time when i was struggling and was just trying to be happy with myself. but not once. not once.... did i ever tell her thank you. not once did i even hint it and that is the worst part about it. and it causes the worst feelings in me too. i miss her. i want to talk to her...to reconnect. to tell her that i appreciated everything and none of it was for granted. to tell her that i've moved on and am living a better life. but now i will never have that chance. never. she deleted her hp account. she deleted her instagram that she once gave me. everything is gone of her... except the messages she sent. i know she'll never see this but... thank you for everything emma. i can't thank you enough. you cared for me in a way no one ever had before and i promise i will never forget you. no matter wherever you are right now... i hope you are thriving and living your best life. and if you're not... i'll always be there for you to comfort you just like old times. once again, thank you for everything emma, i really appreciate it. take care em, i love you and i'll see you around in heaven <3

Should I call myself a traitor
For not honoring my needs
When I fall for you again
When I'm struggling to breathe

In the pool of old regrets
I'm still asking what it means
As I'm sinking to the floor
As I'm drowning to be free

I lament my current ignorance
For forgetting certain things
Like when I lay down in the dirt
From admitting our defeat

There's no basis for return
If you're always in my dreams
I had finally let you go
Until I ruined everything

I shouldn't play with fire
When my heart is made of weeds
But I was so desperate for attention
And the comfort it can bring

So I'll call myself a traitor
Cause I'm only hurting me
When I'm crawling back to you
And am on my hands and knees

She said goodbye,
And never looked back,
All I ever wanted,
Was the chance I never had.

She walked away,
With tears in her eyes,
I couldn’t save her,
But I would still try.

Her golden hair,
Shined on our last night,
And I had to bear,
The fallout of time.

I remember the times,
When my heart was still melting,
She told me her problems,
And I thought I was helping.

Her eyes sparkled,
Like stars in the night,
The only different is,
She won’t come back down.

Down to earth,
Where I’m patiently waiting,
Guess I’ll never earn,
Her trust serenading.

She wanted someone,
I failed to become,
I can’t change for her,
Cause change isn't enough.

night after night
i cry and i cry
no matter the time
i still try to decide

been crippled cause your love made me blind
i'm a fool for falling but hey you were my type
been working too hard now it's time to resign
but those 24 days were the highs of my life

i'm a helpless fool, what more can i do
it's been 6 months and my love's nothin' new
your love came with strings, i'm hesitatin' to renew
i'm tired of searching just to never see it from you

you're nothing but an empty face
scars still remaining from that one day
your beauty's been forced into my brain
but those words i now struggle to say

been walking down the wrong path
i always figured it couldn't last
it all happened so fast and in the end
you were just a girl i never had

"time to fall asleep," they always said
unknown of the henney kept under my bed
don't need no butter along with my bread
fighting sobriety like i always have been

don't try to pretend you're just trying too much
i played along but you never really had much luck
your moving lips once innocent when they first begun
but now every syllable is still just as corrupt

every word's injected with your poison
hating you but still loving the adrenaline
i lost every night, thinkin' i was winnin'
now i'm numb from the effects and i'm not even over it

love is a drug and you're my choice of symptoms
your love was with me but it was never enough
now you gone to someone else trying to run
you broke my heart once and for all now i'm lost in the dust

Sing me a song,
Tell me the lyrics,
I'll sing along,
If you let me hear it.

Read me your poems,
Describe their meaning,
I need to know it,
Cause you're who I'm needing.

Come out from your shell,
Let me see your beautiful eyes,
I'm aware that you fell,
You were lost in the night.

Spray your perfume,
Spread all your essence,
It fills the whole room,
Yet no one can end it.

Explain your life,
How you've been shaped,
I just want to find you,
Cause no one else's the same.

Your heart causes the teardrops to fall,
Your heart turns the pain into nothing at all.
Don't care about the mistakes, the flaws.
Just wish I had tried harder and called.

All disappeared and faded away,
When you’d open up and begin to say,
Of your hopes, dreams and fears.
I’d tell you mine but you’re always near.

You draw me closer with every heartbeat,
Following my small voice along when you sing.
I love who I love, that’s just how it is,
But I can’t move on if you’re who I miss.

Never felt the same about anyone else,
They were attractive but couldn’t be held.
I wish you the best regardless of spouse,
Just wish they’d find the same treasure I found.

I’ll never forget the smile on your face,
Ever since I met you life wasn’t the same.
I’d mean the world to me if I could make you smile,
Even if your adored face will be shown just for a while.

"Just shrug it off," "Become a man."
That's what they all tell me,
But they don't understand.

"Do well in school," "Get good grades too."
Easy for them to say,
They never felt my gloom.

The world's full of authority,
And yes you should respect it.
But there's more than obeying,
Problems too, prepare to expect it.

I know their older,
And probably wiser.
But what if they're not,
What if they never lit their fire?

I miss you so much,
I can barely accept it,
The times that you smiled,
The ways that you held it.

I miss our short little opinions,
And all our cute jokes,
Your laugh cheered me up,
When I felt so low.

You read my poems,
Every one I wrote,
I felt your warmth,
Until you had to go.

I've heard they say,
That all good things must end,
But I never believed it,
At least not til' you left.

I'm not bitter towards you,
This wasn't your choice,
We told them our feelings,
But they couldn't hear our voice.

That's just how life is,
Not everyone will listen,
But when someone does,
That's when they'll glisten.

Cause they took the time,
To hear all your feelings,
Your rants and mistakes,
The choices misleading.

If they tell you sometime,
"I'm right here for you,"
You can believe them,
Cause their support's nothing new.

Your face tells all the secrets;
Your eyes state it all
from your lips I can see the hidden happiness,
from the arch of you brow the hidden rage.
Your eyes state your sorrow,
Your face tells all your secrets,
your face states it all.
The cause for all these emotions
Is me I'm the cause for it all.
To the happiness to the rage,
The sorrow and the pain.
The shape of your face holds your determination.
The determination not to let these emotions show,
But my love your face betrays you.
I can see these emotions as they cross your face.
you have a face of emotion.
No matter how hard you try to hide them
I can see them all.
And my love I'm sorry to see them show.
And I'm sorry that I'm the cause for them.
So My love as your face of emotion shows to the world
theres one emotion I've never seen cross your face.
I've seen no love cross your face nor shine in your eyes.
So goodbye My love, my sweet face of emotions.
Goodbye to a face of emotions.

Time has passed,
Dreams are forgotten,
We've all chased them,
But never have caught them.

Regret will stick to us,
It never will fade,
We'll try to teach them,
But they'll never behave.

Risk has passed,
Opportunity with it,
We think we'll last,
Until we're not winning.

We thought we knew best,
Hiding away,
Never to hear,
That small voice in our brain,

Pushing to act,
Screaming to talk,
We just ignore it,
And end up to walk,

Slow and alone,
Thinking of people,
Sitting on thrones,
But still stuck in our zone.

We have to get out,
Leave all the pain,
You won't know love,
Until you can say,

You've tried everything,
Walked every path,
Felt every sting,
Seen every scathe.

Take the risk with you,
Make it your friend,
The end is too soon,
Don’t stay in your bed,

Thinking of people,
Dreaming of love.
You’ll never know the feeling,
Cause you’ll always run.

I’m sorry for your loss,
And all of your pain,
I neglected your fire,
Among the cold winter rain.

I’m sorry you’ve felt,
Like I’ve hurt you some way.
Didn’t mean to pour tears,
All over your face.

I’m sorry I left,
As soon as I could,
I just couldn’t help it,
But I wish that I would.

I miss you so much,
That my heart can’t endure.
I wish you’d come back,
But you never will, that I'm sure.

So I’m stuck here alone,
Gone from her life.
I have no mark to make,
Cause I’m erased from her mind.

Don’t forget who you are,
You all have a place.
Remember you’re all special,
No matter what color, gender or race.

Pain will enter in,
Like a heartbroken virus.
Don’t let it become you,
Choose to still fight it,

Until your breath has ran out,
Your lungs have impaired,
You must live the now,
Love those who you care.

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could start over?
Do you yearn for the moments you never took advantage of?
Oh, how I wish I could relive the past so I could become a better me,
So I wouldn’t have to learn the hard way of living (if you can even call it that).

What exactly is living?
Whatever it is, I know I have never experienced it.
Because if I did, I would have been so much happier,
And would have felt like it too.

But as I sit here without a doubt in my mind,
That somewhere out there is thinking the same thing,
I can’t help but wonder if this is all life has to offer.
Just a box full of chocolates, spoken affections and the roses you didn’t think you would have to pick up after.

But the petals give me comfort because they didn’t enjoy this either.
It’s not like they love to be cut down only to suffer for one’s affections for another.
I guess we are all roses stuck in our vases,
Who just want to get out and feel the fresh air that the world has to offer.

All we need is just a little nurturing,
And a small packet of food we can enjoy in the meantime,
To grow and become a better flower,
Like all are expected to be once selected.

And once we are picked, trimmed and primed to perfection,
We can fill the room with our scent of beauty,
Something only some can appreciate,
Like everything else in the world.

Your hair is glowing,
Fine silver and gold.
Never dying of love,
Never growing old.

Your eyes are brown,
Autumn ceases to exist.
Worlds are renowned,
Time starts to shift.

Your skin is hazed,
Your fire unblazed.
It sparks the night,
Mistakes out of sight.

Your smile draws the sun,
Captive motion reflects.
Joy has only begun,
Regret has fled.

You left no trace,
Bearing the pain.
Still showing your face,
Still touching the rain.

You caused the smiles,
Made them open.
Running for miles,
Waiting for moments.


Words are just words.
Yet they ****, they burn.
I’d hate it to happen.
Leave stains on your shirt.

Time saw it happen,
Sat by and watched.
Hearts being blackened,
Love being locked.

Your divinity,
Love’s infinity.
Your song’s made to be,
Heard and sung beautifully.

Your skinny jeans,
Just made to be seen.
Your sweater enhances,
When their heart almost ended.

Your jacket adds some weight,
Keeps you warm, keeps you safe.
It feels so good, but feels so bad.
You know it should, but’ll never make a comrade.

I want to lie down and forget about
everything that ever happened,
to begin somewhere new
and have a new beginning

I want to forget about my mistakes
and move on before they catch up
they've been endlessly following me
and I feel there is no turning back.

was there ever a moment,
where time had lost the battle?
in every way I'm bound by it,
leaving me defeated and weak

I wish I could give up
and not have to worry about anything.
cause everything is hard
and not worth my fighting

Come along with me,
And hold my hand,
I'll fly you away,
Past the undiscovered lands.

I'll bring you along,
And talk on the phone.
But you're not the same,
You're not who I know.

Your scars can leave,
Along with your regrets,
I'm still here with you,
And I'm not leaving yet.

Not until the end,
When you've heard of your legacy,
I'll be right here beside you,
Until your last breath.

And even after your buried,
I'll stay by your side,
After the moon's final stage,
And every tear is cried.

Sorry I left,
Sorry I cried.
Sorry I wept,
Sorry I lied.

Sorry I’m weak,
Sorry I’m small.
Sorry for dreams,
Sorry I didn’t call.

Sorry for lying awake,
Sorry for tears.
You know I hate,
My voice, my ears.

Sorry for playing,
Sorry for laughing.
Wide awake praying,
Joy never having.

Sorry for talking,
Sorry for silence.
Hear my own walking,
But not your own siren.

Sorry for leaving,
Sorry for shyness.
Insecurity weaving,
Distance and dryness.

Sorry for mistakes,
Sorry for flaws.
I lie awake,
Only one cause.

People ask me if I'm that one boy,
Who writes poetry so often and quietly.
And I tell them no because quite frankly,
I don't want them to know unless they inspire me.

If my heart doesn't melt,
At the sight of their face,
If I don't realize I've never felt,
My emotions this way,
Then they shouldn't have to know,

Because I wish I could say I care,
But I ultimately don't.
Sorry if that's not fair,
But I still won't,

Reveal my own feelings,
To someone who can't understand.
They can't give me healing,
But they still lend their hand.

But they can't comprehend,
That's not what I need.
What I want is to end,
All the things,

Making me mad,
Turning me crazy.
Not things that are sad,
Just coping with waiting.

Sometimes I wonder of things that could be,
Things of old made new into realities,
No longer trapped in my infinite dreams,
Appearing as distant as the marvelous beams,

Holding my life together, carrying my shame.
I may have lost hope but never the gain,
Of experiencing fear and holding it close,
If you’ve faced risk then you’d know what I know.

Sometimes I think of the matters at hand,
If they matter to me all that much.
But nothing involves me so why try to touch,
The poison that fills me whenever I blush?

I don’t know of options, never had freedom.
Unsure of character or, just lack of good reasons.
But this I know and this I will share,
The moments of fear that only I can tear.

Holding you tight,
Holding you close,
Igniting your light,
Smelling your rose.

Finding your fears,
Hearing them all,
Holding the tears,
From when you’d call.

Called you at home,
You didn’t answer.
I found your phone,
Filled with my cancer.

I found your coat,
Stained with my blood,
Didn’t mean to bloat,
Didn’t want to run.

Stepped out in the rain,
Trying to find you,
Holding my pain,
Exposing my fortune.

Never felt colder,
Than on that stormy night,
Drenched but never closer,
To all of your moonlight.

When a boy tells you his fears,
Hoping you'll understand,
But you can't even hear,
His voice screaming for your hand.

When a boy hides his face,
Covering it like his blanket,
He'll always hate it,
Like a muscle always aching.

When a boy shows you his hands,
All that he’s ever grasped,
But he's never held yours,
Too afraid it won't last.

When a boy shows you his eyes,
How they’ve seen hell,
He'll want you to try,
To know how you've helped.

When a boy gives you his heart,
Covered in all its shame,
You don't seem too far,
But close enough to fade.

When a boy opens up,
Speaking of fears,
He'll hope you'll love,
When he calls you “dear.”

When a boy gives you his pain,
And expects you to feel it,
He'll yearn for the rain,
Ask for the healing.

When a boy shows you his hands,
How they’ve been empty,
He'll never demand,
For you to be lending.

When a boy tells you his dreams,
Wanting you in them,
He'll want you to see,
You're his precious gem.

I've been going through the motions,
Trailing behind your footsteps of joy,
Because their scent is too potent,
For me not to respond in some way.

I make every effort to say things,
That people have found comforting,
The problem is it means nothing to me,
I've never cared whether people ask me.

Life is a tape stuck on record.
So why are you hesitating to lift off and soar?
You only get this breath once so breathe it with passion.
I’ve wasted so much of my life that I’ve had enough of it.

There is no playback button where you can rewind and revive,
The memories that you wasted and eventually sighed.
These moments don’t come back so live the ones you hold.
If moments had price tags they would instantly be sold.

When you try to rewind and sadly look back,
You just wasted the ten seconds that you once had.
You can’t change the buttons but you can change what they record.
So stop looking back, regretting and trying to hoard,

The memories that you once had and now are lost forever.
For if you’re asking for a time the answer is never.
Looks like God never got showed in life’s thankful header.
And yet we are writing to our past as if they were letters.

I find myself digging a hole,
Discovering my heart is what stole,
My love for myself and for others.
It yearns for something that words cannot describe.

I trip over my own feelings,
Needing help, needing healing.
I imagine myself all alone,
Staying separated, staying at home.

My mind tells me I’m not good but I know it’s untrue,
It’s time to give credit where credit is due.
I know I can do it but my mind is so weak.
What I’d die for is what my heart seeks.

I give up, I succumb comfort zones.
They’re the reason for being alone.
I climb up the mountain to face my fears,
But as I reach the end my eyes fill with tears.

I clear my mind of repeating thoughts,
Of regrets and memories sought over.
I’m locked in Satan’s dungeon of self-image,
Waiting to be rescued from this prison being hidden.

I search the forest for the security I lack,
But as I get weary I just want to go back,
To my home I never left before now.
What made me brave I can’t explain how.

When the war has begun and I stutter a cry,
I can’t even bring myself to voice the word “goodbye.”
I can’t fathom the thought that I’ll never see their immaculate face,
And finally lose at life’s last daring game.

I wave my hand in agony and pain,
Knowing deep inside there will finally be a day,
When I look into the beautiful eyes,
Of the one who turns the lowest of lows into the highest of highs.

I can’t help but recall the happiest days,
When the day would begin and love would so lightly rain.
The drops fall down like a shower of sun,
And reap what is sowed and only begun.

I stand there with shaking legs,
Denying the thought of never seeing them again.
I know they’re happy and enjoying God’s grace.
While I’m still living the pain of life and yearning to see God’s majestic face.

When a boy falls in love,
His heart begins to echo,
All of her thoughts,
Like he knows them already.

When a boy falls in love,
His heart starts to crumble,
As they walk in the room,
Quiet but humble.

When a boy falls in love,
His words start to sound,
Like he wants her with him,
Even to mess around.

When a boy falls in love,
His tongue becomes frozen,
His legs start to tremble,
But he’ll remain calm,
Though he’ll never own it.

When a boy falls in love,
His mind can’t say calm,
He’ll stay away,
He won’t sleep at all.

Because he’s busy wondering,
Of what she's been doing,
If she’s thinking of him,
Her presence so soothing.

I know you still love me,
I can hear the tremble in your whisper,
For what crime have I committed,
For what lie am I a sinner?

I can feel you falling,
You’re afraid of tripping again,
But I’ll catch you this time,
So let’s start from the end.

I can feel all your pain,
Through your words filled with tears,
You’re attached to the Train,
And your ticket is fear.

I’ll love you until the end,
No matter the path you choose,
You ask why you're perfect to me,
And my answer is you.

I believe it’s still within you,
You’re holding back your emotions,
Please give yourself some love,
And I’ll be the one to hold it.

Do you remember the time,
You called out my name,
And asked me if I wanted help?
I could never forget it.

Do you remember,
When you asked me how I was doing?
And I answered with a simple "I'm fine."
Only because I was afraid of saying the truth.

Do you remember,
The time you smiled so wide
After hearing we had something in common?
That moment changed my life.

Do you remember,
The time you asked me to come along,
And walk with you while I was still young?
That had never happened before you.

Do you remember,
The time we talked love,
And how it was worth the struggle?
I couldn't agree more, especially now...

Love is bright,
Love is true.
Love is simple,
Me plus you.

No more scars, no more lies.
No more shards, no more sighs.
No more tears, no more cries.
No more fear, no more signs.
No more ears, only eyes.
No more lows, only highs.

All of you,
None of me.
My turn to lose,
Your turn to succeed.

Your face is light,
My face is dark.
You play it right,
I play it hard.

You sit down,
I stand up.
You wear gowns,
I wear enough.

You light the spark,
I light the match.
You scatter the dark,
I open the hatch.

You wait once,
I wait forever.
You have luck,
I have letters.

Your eyes are brown,
My eyes are blue.
You comfort the down,
I heal the bruised.

Your eyes are cute,
My eyes are bright.
You love the mute,
I love the blind.

You are held back,
I am afraid.
Love’s what you lack,
Fear I erase.

You love to shine,
I love to cry.
You bring the love,
I redefine.

Where are you my love?
Are you waiting for me to find you,
To grasp your hand when I know you’re the one,
Standing in front of your face that’s as bright as the sun?

Why do this my love?
Why can’t you reveal yourself,
Instead of being the one to be shunned?
You may leave forever but I’ll still run.

Why so perfect my love?
Why hold your heart low beneath you,
For no one to see, no one to hug?
Stop checking yourself just to be done.

What do you yearn for?
Do you roam the earth for someone to love or,
Wait patiently for your lover to open your door?
He will never be there if you’re looking at floors.

What colors are your eyes?
Blue, green, brown or something so fine?
They say so much about you and tell me why.
Guess I’ll never see them if I gaze at the sky.

Tired of waking up to pain,
Weary of thinking whether I’m sane.
Tired of sleeping too hard,
With my head in the clouds.

Dreaming of warming faces, beautiful sounds.
Only to wake up with sweat on my brow.
Dreaming of hidden treasure being found,
Dreaming of the earth’s final renown.

I dreamt of two faces,
Who held beauty in their hands,
Making magic dust rise with their golden strands,
Spreading it everywhere as they started to dance.

I remember their names,
Olivia and April.
Waiting for the one day,
When they're seen from a windowsill.

I know they are out there,
They must surely exist.
There is no possibility,
My mind made their face with mere wind.

They were both perfect,
Flawlessly flawed.
They knew I was hurting,
Never failed to call.

They made life easy,
Transformed my heart.
It melted into pieces,
Just fell and broke apart.

When I met her for the first time,
Smiling back at her in life’s line,
She smiled back and knew my true thoughts.
Don’t know how, but I knew we could bond.

I don’t recall her face,
Although it was pure magic.
Gold-toned skin wrapped in fate,
Smooth red lips that always lasted.

Her sun-kissed hair glistened in the day,
She’d sweep me up in it and I would just faint.
Never curled or fixed to look its best,
I loved it fully along with her blue dress.

She’s out there somewhere,
I just have to start searching.
I’ll look too long, I don’t care,
If it means I’ll start learning.

I can see her in their eyes,
I know it was too long.
But I still don’t regret it,
Even if I am wrong.

She reveals her eyes,
Through strangers I see.
Don’t want to miss her walking by,
Like in my sweet sounding dream.