You took away my life
When you said that I should die
There's no reason I shouldn't cut you off
When you still believe in lies

To think I'd ever hurt you
Just confirms you're out of line
I know I'm not the best
When it comes to making time

But
You know I would have died for you
If you let me even try

I would have put away desires
If it meant you were alright
I would have gathered everything
Just to throw it into fire

I would have killed myself for you
If it meant that you could fly
I would have only prayed to God
If He could just give me a sign

I would have brought you all the roses
From the shop just down the street
I would have purchased every one
If it meant that you were free

I would have taken you somewhere safe
Just to show I have respect
I'm not like the other guys
I'm just looking for a friend

A soul I'll learn to cherish
When the skies are turning gray
A voice that puts to rest
The insecurities that I face

A place my thoughts can sleep
When they're keeping me awake
Your hands that I can hold
When I'm running out of strength

Ocean eyes that I'll admire
When the clouds are making haste
A nose that I'll make fun of
When you don't always get your way

Or your arms that will embrace me
When I've fallen in too deep
The words you whisper quietly
To make my inner demons weep

They will tremble out of fear
Cause they can't haunt me anymore
I know my worth when I'm with you
While we're sitting on the shore

Your mind is an ocean of ideas
That I'm diving to explore
My demons no longer there
When I'm lying on the seabed floor
Surrounded by your loving nature
As I get to know you more

You are everything to me
Which I know I've said before
But only when I'm in your arms
Are my inner demons ignored

I'm embraced by surrounding waters
Like I've finally found a home
Where I'm at my deepest point
But I no longer feel alone

I'll be hitting my rock bottom
But can make it out alive
Your words are enough to hold on to
When I'm on the verge of dying

They may take away my possessions
They may take away my pride
But I'll never let them take you
Even if it means I die

I didn't want to leave us
But you left me with no choice
You led me to the very edge
So I would fall into the void

I didn't want us to be over
But your plane had been deployed
I could not foresee our latest interaction
Would be the last one I'd enjoy

So when I start to think about you
And begin to lay myself down
I can feel you all around me
As your arms are wrapped around

I can hear the distant music
And remember all the sounds
When we danced the night away
And I drove you back to my house

Our fingers were intertwined
As we emersed in each other's eyes
I submerged into deep unconsciousness
Before kissing you goodnight

But as our voices grew tired
And we struggled to find the time
Something came between us
That I'll never get to find

I'm not one for saying the right words
I only know what I feel inside
And if I'm being fully honest
I still have not fully recovered

From the day she said goodbye.

Did I **** myself for you
Just to lose you once again
Did I become a different person
Once I pushed you to the edge

This was not what I expected
When I told you I was spent
When I gave you everything I had
To where there was nothing even left

You abandoned all I was
But this isn't what I meant
When I whispered in your ears
To ask if this was the end

If there was something I could do
Some way to make amends
Because you were my everything
And I loved you as my friend

I mean

When the puzzle pieces fell everywhere
We would pick them up again
Place them all back together
Until we reached the very end

We pushed through the hardest times
Just so that we could get ahead
When we were fighting our depression
We'd be supportive amidst our distress

We played all our weird retro games
Just to see how far we'd get
Maybe beat our latest score
And then do our little dance

We raced to see who was faster
Until we'd both run out of breath
We'd make all these little promises
For things that hadn't even happened yet

But as time went on
We began to forget
Who we were and what made us fall in love

In the first place.

i don't live in black and white
i only see through faded gray lenses
a clouded picture of what is reality

a forgettable moment here, a wasted opportunity there
i am surrounded by moments of dulled memories

my emotions are at rest
but they live in my head
dragging me down day by day
eventually i will stumble and fall
and i do not know if i will get up again


i see the world through a polaroid camera
where everything present is also the past
things that are often memorable
just slip through my purple hands

no one understands
why i never had a chance
to feel something, anything

i am treated like a nobody
cause nobody wants to get to know me

do i come off as vile,
hiding my pain and faking my smile?
i'm giving it everything i got
to be what people want
it has led me nowhere except deserted roads
where i'm greeted by that cold familiar friend
the demon that lives within

there is a void from within my chest
cause sacrificial love is dead

i have tried so many times but to no avail
i cannot fill it up with friends
no one cares enough to even give a flying f--k

this emptiness inside, it might just consume me whole
the longer i go deprived, with no one at my side
the stronger it gets, the harder it gets
it feels like i'm merely trying to survive
this hell we call earth

If I held the world for you
Would it even be enough?
Would you leave me in the dark
Like darkness is all it was?

Would you let go of my hand
Just to see where you would land?
If I had not been the one to catch you
You would have fallen into sand

It was only my mistakes
That could ever make you feel this way
I know I am not perfect
But since I know you cannot stay
I'll be running a hundred miles from here
I'll be standing in the rain

Thinking back to when it was us
And there was nothing but our love
When we would race along the shoreline
Until I'd tell you to give up

When we would listen to my music
And I would smile when you knew it
Our tastes were simply the same
And no one could dispute it

But I guess there are some wounds
That can never truly heal
I gave you so many scars
That I forgot how they used to feel

How they felt when I was young
Being cold and losing love
Knowing that the day would end
With my tears as my only friend

So can you see the stars in my eyes
As I try to say goodbye?
I don't know if I can keep smiling
But I know I have to try.

You said we'd leave this place
But it's all over now
Everybody's gone for work
I'm still stuck in this small town

You left for work that morning
The day that I made coffee
There was something in your eyes
That began to make me worry

You walked out the door
Like I was nothing anymore
I held onto you so tightly
You eventually pulled the cord

Was there nothing at all
That made you want to call?
I memorized your number
For when you'd have time in the fall

But once a year had passed
I realized she was never coming back
Her only desire was attention
But I cannot give
What I do not have.

You said not to fall apart
And yet here we are
You went on to neglect me
When our troubles became hard

You said I couldn't see
What you imagined us to be
Fully awake but you're still asleep
Always dreaming instead of accepting me

I admired you from afar
With my own kind of art
I guess I'm a painter after all
But my work was mine and never ours

And then you found it was always me
That I was all you'd ever need
Guess you finally came around
To acknowledge I'm a human being

But love, I'm gonna accept you
Like the way you accepted me
Hoping that the flaws I see
Will eventually come to be
The end of you.

Goodbye...