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one must say, "I'm set"
for the noblest human role
of bearing a child
it is not just a fruit of
those nights we lack conviction
mjad Nov 25
I often wonder about my own origin
I wonder how much of me is from just one woman
I also wonder if I am anything like the man
Does my DNA from her make me the good student I am
Does it explain my ever present sarcasm and attitude
I wonder if we have the same personality or mood
I wonder about my appearance and hers
Does her hair also fall down her back or shape her curves
Does it reflect in the same golden way that mine does
Does she also let hers grow too long just because

I know you from online
And from the few files I find
Is my height, or lack thereof, from you?
(After all, I'm only five foot two)
Do all my half siblings know of me, or just you?
Do you talk to my father? Does he want to meet too?

I meet you this week
17 years or 6,463 days
Not a moment too late
A reunion like an awkward first date
I was told to "expect nothing" from it
That I can easily call to just quit
But I know more everyday that I am ready
I want my family tree to be a little less webby

I want you to know I am not mad
I do not cry because I am sad
You are the reason I live the life I have
I cannot be more grateful for that

I understand the choice you made
That raising me was a price you had to pay
Your past is not something to regret
The questions I have are nothing to fret
You might fear the how's and why's
But they're the last thing on my mind
I just want to meet you for you
And to thank you for giving me the chance to live anew
I meet my birthmother later this week and I am full of emotions, but I want all birthmothers to know that the last question an adoptee has on their mind is  "why?" We want to know YOU, the you of today, so do not be scared. ( ps. If youre an adoptee too, hmu! I am here for you on your journey)
I never understood, how being a father was different
I never understood, how safety was felt from his presence.
I never could understood, why a father had to be free.
Was it me?
Was it only me, who saw the less need of one.

I have a father, I guess it's compulsory.
He's thicken in the mind, and coarser in the heart.
He's mine, that's the documents proof.
But does he feel like mine?

That I cannot proof, I'm not scared of him.
I'm scared to continue living with him.
I don't wish death to carry him, anywhere
I just wish, to grow further away from him.

I'm not motivated by his speech.
Maybe it's his mind, confused,
So I let him speak, his liquor helps a lot.
It gives him purpose, I assume.
Since he never stops.

I can never change the facts,
The facts that I have a father.
We all do, whether it be an orphan.
But to change him, not mind or soul.

That I cannot control,
He's one day bright,
He's one day night
Never a weather, to go out and play.

So if you have a father that surely not like this other.
You shouldn't be bothered, mine can be cheaper than a dollar.

So I have a father, and a mother, I have both,
But if you we're me, I'm sure
I'm sure
You'll prefer another.
I challenge the wind that blows by, and scares me with its strong rage
I'll bring my wolves, and show it, how man controls all gales
I challenge the sea so mighty and free, with pride that it can flush away dreams
With pleasure, I will show how rain kneels before me
I challenge all that feels, superior to my inferior charity

Challenging, more than growth beneath my feet
I challenged wild roses that took seat in my field without my heed
Now they seek my favor, even though they're profound of rarity
I challenge all those, that nature bring forth, to intimidate me

I claim justice whenever, wherever the feeling of entail resides
For me I challenge all that shines bright, and night I hold with my might
No favors sought, no help in need of query, I feel above so many
I wish upon nothing more than my own throne

To challenge all those, who swore
I’m sure, of all that’s thrown
I doubt not, what I sow
I’m sure of what I know
The world is vast I see

Yet there is no where I wanna be

My yearning does not include this

All that is out there have been

Except that which was given to me

By that which comes within me

This little hand grasping me

Is a string that tugs deep within

All that is precious to me

Comes forth the day I call thee baby
A parent's love is felt seldom understood.
Kathryn Oct 15
It's crazy
You came into my life
So quickly things changed
My life found purpose
Every moment of pain
Id experience again and again
If I had know you were waiting
I felt your movement before anyone
Loved you before I laid eyes on you
It's crazy
I never would have thought
I'd feel this way
Sleepless nights are worth it
Something I would never say before
Your my everything
I cry as I rock you to sleep
This love I have for this tiny human
It's crazy
Justen Davila Oct 12
my son shall be a reflection of me with the mirror being his mother. he will have my eyes and his mothers heart, my brains but his mothers demeanor. we all know he’ll need it. the courage will come from us both because your mother is a warrior as am i. we fight. never let them see you down son, if you fall remember: gravity centers lowest to the ground, you shall gather yourself up and stand strong. and when the waves come crashing because they will, when they crash just know that you are a warrior. there is no mountain big enough in comparison to your potential, no storm loud enough to quite your spirit and no accolade too great to make you gloat. my son, you were made under the shield of love, so you shall forever be protected. never let anyone tell you otherwise. when you see a man down keep your arms outstretched, warriors can fight for the less fortunate too, but stand proudly in your body. and when they ask why you are who you are you simply respond: I am a reflection of my father in the mirror of my mother.
From my 2016 Poetry Collection: The Writers Room (Available on Amazon/Barnes&Noble)
I’m way older than those ebony
Though sun light seems so lovely
I am tired and so lonely
Old time jokes and pathetic melodies
Accompany me to cemetery
Growing means a differences built
And as each day comes
I’m the only one who can’t quit
He goes home everyday at midnight
Drunk but say everything’s alright
Drive below the city lights
No more holding the bolster tight
Does he know that I’m home so frightened?
Everyday everything’s growing
And as the second passes
I’m the one whose always watching
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