Mist-minded, clouded thoughts
Can't seem to focus, or keep rapport
Importance is relevant, irrelevant I dwell
In this cartography, well-drawn Hell

Zipped up lips, verbiage tripped
The spoken, delivery, edge unclipped
Harsh and cold, worn limestone
Regardless of polish, I'm overgrown

What feels real is this heart of steel
All else surrounds, of fabric, of gown
Dressed up nice to masquerade
False-tipped smiles, dead parade.

The forge burns true, just underneath
My love, my Sun, I shall bequeath
Hardened and cold, aftermath of the craft
Add a little heat and reveal my heart.

Falling silent when I speak
Clamour loudly as I weep
Stitched up mouth, who am I now?
Grunts of pain, the only sound

Ignored back then and still today
Excluded always, as I fade
Then they ask me why I'm quiet
I don't choose to sit in silence

Are you ok? I'm just fine
My reply, a dotted line
That which i ask is what I fear
Query turned, and so I steer

I speak of games, I speak of songs
I ignore the list of wrongs
All the shadows' whispered words
They cause my skull to hurt

I am calm, I am the storm
In the dark I'll be reborn
In my lust I drive away
They do not need to stay

Woe is me, I'm all alone
Typing poems on my phone
Isolated by personality
Dissociated from reality

Mesmerized by what lies inside
Dwells in my skull, lives in my mind
Showing me, these corrupted dreams
Behind my eyes, more than it seems

Wilted roses, pouring rain
Not a word but the roaring pain
Scratching and tearing, flesh left raw
Growling and biting and sharpening claws

Shining eyes belie rage denied
Moonlit skies, moonstruck cries
Enraged and entrapped by thorns, kept safe
Let us loose, witness our showcase

"Your life isn't hard, it has no stress
I am kindred, so I know best"
Without, surveillance, how could you know
I'm all wound up and I'm ready to go!

Don't tell me what I have not felt
Don't tell me about the cards I've been dealt
You suffer too, we both suffocate
Can't ease our symptoms unless we medicate!

Angry you've been, angry I am!
You've walked in these shoes so you should understand!
Crimson is our bloodline, destroy what we hate!
I hate myself so it's only my fate!

Yet tell me I'm joking, call me a mimic
It ****** me off so I don't want to hear it!
How can you act like you knew all along
I don't ******* get it, YOU'RE SO ******* WRONG!

Authorities called, was a couple of years
Seeing you talking, confirmed all my fears
You haven't a clue, you don't understand,
I have no filters, I say what I am!

When I cry out for help and you tell them I'm fine
I can't confess these desires for crime!
You say there's no worry, you say I'm okay
WHO THE **** ARE YOU TO SAY!

You think you know me, you know nothing at all!
YOU, KNOW, NOTHING AT ALL!
YOU, KNOW, NOTHING AT ALL!
YOU, KNOW, ABSOLUTELY **** ALL!

So keep on talking, it amuses me so
This pain and this anguish, denied by your hope
Deluded you are, remember this thought:
No such roses, grow such thorns!

Sunken eyes, wretched mind
This void I feel is my demise
The depths to which can't be described
Reality, the biggest lie

I wander roads that can't go wrong
So will you miss me when I'm gone?
I'm right here yet so far away
Will you be the one who stays?

"I care for you!"
******* prove it.

There's never any greetings, only goodbyes
Never true happiness, only darkest nights
Whenever you fall quiet I'm the first to ask what's wrong
But when it comes to me, the silence stays strong!

Who is there for me? Do I really mean so little?
I go mad screaming at mirrors, slathered in my spittle!
I act out what I want to say, because of all the times
You told me, to tell myself I'm worth more than I realise!

Something of value isn't easily discarded
Something that matters isn't so quickly parted
I trusted in your words, they were my final hope
Now it's time for the hangman's trick to go and get the rope

"How much do you really care?"
"How much do you really wanna know?"
"Badly"

lights cigarette " Well...let me tell you"

You, could, have the worst day and I'd laugh in your face
Tell you I told you that joy was erased
Look to the sky and be blinded by light...
-ning as it crashes down, cuts through the night!

Hell's gates could open, and in you would fall
And with all your screams, I'd still feel **** all!
You could walk off the flat earth and into the void
I'd carry on normal, and not paranoid!

Turned into ashes, blasted to bits
Drowned in a lake, in my face your neck splits
Spray me with blood, I won't feel a thing,
I'd lap at the crimson, thanks for the feed!

Death welcomes all, where life may not want to
The curtains will fall, and then you'll see the truth
The truth of it is, I only care enough to tell you
To yell or to whisper, I won't mourn when they bury you!

It lurks below my consciousness, the beast beneath the bed
Tortured by imagination, vivid in my head
Strikes without notice, the world is dark and blind
To all the ****** massacres that play behind my eyes

Victimhood held hostage, convinced manipulation
Sickly soul so serpentine, saboteur salvation
Left within the grimaced grin, of tormented left demented
Suffer so, these chains and ropes, you'll never be accepted

Amusement starts to linger, maybe mould, or rot
Decaying internally, for he feels the hope is lost
So smile, smile, smile, and learn to love the sinner
For all that will remain is this twisted, Grim Grinner

I wear the Reaper's desires, hide myself away
He cursed me with his shroud, I've become a Wraith
I scream ****** ******, his jaw forever grins
Everybody dies, and nobody ever wins

Short lived is our hope, and so we turn to faith
Making up our deities to fill the empty space
God can you hear me, howling winds respond
I grip a neck of glass, so the numbness is prolonged

I hate all I see, and I see myself in all
So I watch me **** everyone, in agony they sprawl
Nothing left but bloodied grin and scarlet dripping blade
The clouds cry my anguish, and pelt the muddy *****

Pretty roses splash and stain, madness left to claim the reins
All is shades of darker grey, maroon petals left to fade
Desperate fingers claw my flesh, this nightmare will never rest
For the shadows, they have spoken...and beast, asleep, has woken...

Mirror mirror, on the wall
Tell me how the fallen, fall?

Well now, come now, let me show
All the pain I've ever known...

Mark my words, I marked my skin
Thin red lines of crimson sin

Seeping through their open wounds
The more I made, like blossom, blooms...

So I was hollow, devoid of all
I am how the fallen, fall

Mirror, mirror, just a mask
All they'll see is shattered glass...

There were times in my life
Where I was satisfied with the world
Now it’s different
Because all it seems to give me is hurt

A void in my chest,
Filled with nothing but emptiness
The same sensation I feel when I’m asleep
Or when I try to rest

It’s hard feeling positive when this life’s against you
It seems all it wants to do is grind you up, best you, bless you,
You’re probably far better off
Got the dreams and inspiration that keep you going and you can’t stop

So don’t
Don’t ever lose your faith
Because when you do you start to question
Your position in the human race

What am I good for,
Am I just for entertainment?
If that’s so, then why the
Element of overwhelming sadness?

I’m not scared, in fact,
Far from it
But it’s just sometimes I struggle
To cope with this ****

I deal with it alone
Gunslinging my way through
Drawing pistols, shots firing
Not enough bullets and I’m *******

I tried pistol-whipping my problems
But I couldn’t
If you’re down on your defenses then
You probably shouldn’t

Call for backup and extra munition
Do it quick and do it soon
Because I left it far too late
And sometimes I feel like I’m doomed

I hate feeling so down
But it’s all I have, a shroud around
Someone who questionably doesn’t deserve
To feel a pain so hard, to be quite so hurt

To feel this **** mad, or to be this **** sad
Is the one consistent thing in life that I’ve ever had
It makes me stop at times, and question my existence
But if this happens to you, shrug it off, be strong in your persistence

Talking helps to solve things
It helps to make me feel pure
It makes me feel good then
Doesn’t last long, it’s no cure

I do try to make it work,
But negativity puts in twice the effort
I was never positive to begin with
So I get twice the hurt

Sadness I can deal with
Because I can make it fade
All I need is a good song
On a cloudy, rainy day

I sing along to sad tunes
And let myself cry it all out
Afterwards I feel a bit better
And my eyes are in drought

So I go outside and smack my bag
The punching bag I have
I like to picture hated faces
When I’m feeling mad

I frame them for my anger
Because they made me go deeply through
And I hate being mad, I’d rather be sad
Is it the same for you?

I called out for help, took half a year to get
But better late than never whenever I feel really upset
I just write a little rhyme, a crazy song a bit like this
It helps at times when I look back and strongly reminisce

Other times it makes it worse, some things you should forget
And when I look back on them I drown in my regret
Some things I should’ve said, others maybe not
But at least I’m not like my other friends who blaze it away with ***

****, where’d that come from?
A well deep down that holds all the **** in this world that I know is wrong?
Sometimes I think that maybe I’m floating at the top
But my psychologist doesn’t agree, whenever I say that she makes me stop

It’s only a voice called Nightmare, my persistent inner critic
Who criticizes my every move, likes to make me feel like ****
He feeds off it, an inner demon set to self-destruct
Telling me everything I do is wrong, that it’s not just the world that’s ******

And I listen, but why should I?
When he asks me to Google tying nooses so I can just ******* die
And it’s only because, sometimes I feel I want to
But don’t listen to these voices, don’t want this to happen to you

I wanna write a goodbye letter sometime, just to have it there
Because if there’s something that makes me scared it’s seeing a loved one’s tear
So if I’m not there, perhaps it’ll make me feel better
I get told I can’t die, but never say never

Humanity has mortality and a lack of morality
Perhaps we all crazy too, insufficient in sanity
But just know, no matter what happens to us all it’s still reality
And you should always see the best in whatever is happening

I know I can’t, or at least I can’t yet
Those things I mentioned before, that drown me in regret?
That’s a part of my world, a part of my experience
**** it, what I’m saying is this **** is our existence

I hate feeling so down
But it’s all I have, a shroud around
Someone who questionably doesn’t deserve
To feel a pain so hard, to be quite so hurt

To feel this **** mad, or to be this **** sad
Is the one consistent thing in life that I’ve ever had
It makes me stop at times, and question my existence
But if this happens to you, shrug it off, be strong in your persistence

I hate my Dad sometimes, he makes me really ******
He has PTSD, takes it out on me and gets away with it
I mean, my step mum moved out, she saw it happen clearly
Did anybody stop and take time to perhaps think of me?

No? Just another waste of time?
A bad investment, a depression that took form and left its basement?
**** it all, I never helped anyone
That’s Nightmare for you, I listen to him when I write songs

He gives me inspiration in a way I guess I feed off him
But it can be difficult sometimes, to let him loose because he slips
Up and takes me down, ironically it’s why I’m writing now
To show you all that if you hear him, don’t listen to the sound

Of a desperate voice in desperate times, let him just die
Don’t even try to talk to him, give up let him cry
Don’t feel bad afterwards, it isn’t ******
It’s survival of the fittest and he’ll eventually wanna hurt her

You got a special someone don’t you? He wants their soul
He will play any card to get a chance to devour them whole
So don’t stop, keep your dreams
And let those pesky Nightmares slip by unseen

I hate feeling so down
But it’s all I have, a shroud around
Someone who questionably doesn’t deserve
To feel a pain so hard, to be quite so hurt

To feel this **** mad, or to be this **** sad
Is the one consistent thing in life that I’ve ever had
It makes me stop at times, and question my existence
But if this happens to you, shrug it off, be strong in your persistence

It may make you stop at times, and question your existence
But if this should happen to you, move along, be strong in your persistence

Where I can't

I'm a flesh addict, sporadic, adrenaline, I love being alive
Feel my muscles pumping blood as I run reckless- overdrive
And I cannot wait for the day, I get to say, I had the strength to survive
Like alliteration of insanity, inside of me, I to I!

But my eyes would be deceived if I said I see life like it's perfect
Like a roller-coaster, going through the motions, twists and turns a better way to word it
Take a seat, and sit with me, maybe then we'll be, like minded
Instead of you, like a lost moose, in the headlights: blind sided

I hate pretending, so, here's my raw aggression
I would take a second, to ******* bash your head in
But I don't wanna get physical, with someone so pitiful
Let's just keep it minimal, and indulge the lyrical

On sighting you I feel ******
Pity, anger, and anguish
Bullied by this *****
A year my senior, having kids

I feel hollow like a steel pipe, hurting like a rough night
I pull my smile too tight, to the point I'm  showing pearly whites
My mindset like, dynamite, my rhymes like, to takes lives,
Like a steak knife I'll carve you up
Eat these bullets, desperate lunch!

Now make no mistake
I sharpen dull blades
And I get carried away
******, serial, and maim

Just crunching numbers okay?
Nothing has changed
You're still the same old, same old
Here we go, another bomb falls!

Just an organic robot, blowing off steam
Of flesh and metal, robotic zombie
I see the cogs and the gears but I don't see a spirit
All I see is sheeple living lives like corporate business

Where's the fun in this? Leech the Government
Have a couple kids, and some funding with
A faded side *****, drugs kicking in
Go party hard with all your fake friends

You are not a parent, just a pa for rent
She is not a mother, just another chick
Using all that money to hit another fix
Coz you ain't cool if you ain't staying lit!

And that's just how it is, juvy and pregnant kids
People telling other people that their life's ****
Graffiti tags and spit, violence just a bit
Lost dreams and broken bottles, vanished innocence...

I'm sitting, on my bed, I just woke up
Have to turn off my alarm, already stressed enough
I take it, feel the horrid taste in my mouth
As I make it drown, with the water that last night I left out

Flushed down, it should hold any second
I take a breath and
Ask myself the burning question...
Why the **** am I depressed then?

Flashbacks to times I couldn't sleep
Crying to myself, why the **** is it I feel weak?
Why the **** is it me? Why do I feel empty?
Hollow hearted, where has it departed, I feel so lonely!

Gaps in my memory and gaps in its effectiveness
I still wear a smile just to feel like I'm rejecting it
Placebo effect and pretend that I'm still proud of me
But see this shrouding me? You're **** right you should've doubted me!

Fifteen minutes of reminding myself I'm nobody special
It feels like ten years on Death Row
Berating myself, why aren't I better, why can't you hold hope?
A vicious cycle on a motorcycle, kick the chair and let go!

I still have thoughts of suicide
In the short time it takes for me to find my lifeline
Here it comes, thanks for the pickup
The only time I can say I'm thankful that I took drugs

We are the people of the broken
With words we've left unspoken
We died when we tried to live
We've nothing left to give
We threw it all away

The rain came racing from the storm
On divided lands, reborn
I saw the Sun again
She smiled and showed her face
Then grew shy and turned away

The clouds above let fall the sharps
The hail fell and killed the lark
I saw a puff of smoke
Then felt the death of hope
And knew something was, gone

I see it all the time
Every scar and every line
Every claw and every fight

And everybody knew
But no-one was to move
And overcast the night took bloom

We are the people of the broken
With words we've left unspoken
We died when we tried to live
We've nothing left to give
And that was a mistake

I felt a shadow on my shoulder
And felt the night grow colder
I could see clear as day
The resolution in her face
She couldn't stand the pain

A hand of anger gripped my soul
And I knew, for it was old
I'd felt this way before
Every time I left that door
My old friend Rage, I bring you forth!

We are the people of the broken
With words we've left unspoken
We died when we tried to live
We've nothing left to give
So we dig under our skin

A shallow smile upon my flesh
Red and tan, nice and fresh
Because it hurts to be glad
When all elements make you mad
And you're left to pick the trash

It burns to feel the cold.
Netted by it we've been, sold
Just another failed escape
Another rearing snake
Another goose to chase

I know how old this all becomes
For years now, I've grown numb
Opened traps and screaming pipes
This garden of delight
Easy kindling, set alight

The past comes up to go down
Painted clowns to hide the frown
I'm sick of this circus
Totally ******* worthless
Clueless to my hurting

And oh the beating heart of hate
Fuels the lungs of twisted fate
And now I'm finally free
Rid my mind from toxicity
I am human, watch me, bleed

We are the people of the broken
With words we've left unspoken
We died when we tried to live
I can't seem to give a ****
And now I've finally hit "**** it"!

I am a member of the broken
My battle scars prove that I'm hopeless
I wish all my pain today
Could finally be erased
Without me digging my own grave

I wish all my pain today
Could be left in yesterday
So I can finally get my way

People say I'm intense and aggressive
Not camping, just scampering, rampant
I'm too quick to take care and I'm helping
The message is hell bent on answering
All of your questions so let up the pressure!

Chat, chat, chat and you think you're all that
Talk some smack just so you can get back
Launch an attack on the boy in black
That boy so sad he makes me mad
That boy is trash have you seen his raps?
He's so **** suss I really wanna clap
Left right, goodnight, put him in the spotlight
And scrutinise like I have that right

Aye, I bet you think you know me
When all you've seen is nothing really
Yeah, bet it turns you green
To know that I'm better than what you carelessly,
Push away, in rage, that's cute, so sweet
When you stay, enraged, by your own heartbeat.
When you fake til you make and that's why you grin
Guess you don't know that to lie is to sin

Yeah I was the kid who got left out and yes I was the kid who'd always doubt
I was the kid who had no friends and I was the kid who'd get left til the end
Chosen for games as the last called name,
If I couldnt be avoided like I carried black plague,
But look at me now, I stand so proud, and if you try to take this from me I will knock you down!

I bring the rain and you brought pain
So I gave it back like, keep the change
Hate it when you take it
Hypocritically making
Bad choices lately, despise me for saying

So you sneak like a snake and talk behind my back
But it never really cut me so I wouldn't say backstabbed
You never really mattered so I'll be fine
You can drown in your ball pit of lies

While I raise the storm and I right the wrong
While I pave the way and still remain calm
The black dog follows and hounds at my feet
But I am electric you can't bite me!

Stormbringer,
Stormbringer

You could call me Zeus I'm lightning when I move

Stormbringer,
Stormbringer

I'm a Godlike youth that you dream to pursue

Bolt from the clouds comes crashing down
Charging the air like a love affair
Handle with care? I was kicked down the stairs
They called me Zaps so be aware!

That's spaz backwards! Ha! So funny
Now that I'm electric I guess it means something
Now that I write hectic I guess it means cunning
Yeah I'm spastic with my bars but I'm shocking and I'm stunning

You wish you had the talent to grasp words with magnets
And have the power to change the charge like its only magic
And link negative to its own, and vice versa
Take a slasher of a song and make verbal ******

Call out the curses, fill them with hurt and close all your curtains, the sunlight is burning

Go outside and raise your head to the sky
Dark clouds race to claim it all as mine!

Stormbringer,
Stormbringer

Was the reject now I'm relevant

Stormbringer,
Yeah, Stormbringer

It's no dead ringer I was always a winner

Call me a sinner, I eat y'all for dinner
Those who call me a quitter, make claims that I never
Will get any better, when I'm rising forever
When I'm using my head and I'm light as a feather

I told you my name, don't use it in vain,
I gave you my hand, you can't do the same
So trust is reversed and storms start to churn
When I raise my voice it's a third degree burn!

I gave it non-stop what more could you want
When voices persist I'm getting *******
Continual fights and TV highlights
It took me a while but now I realise

Now I realise,
Now I realise!

I'm the Stormbringer....

Stormbringer, your head's like a spinner
Gasping for air, I crushed your throat from a distance, so killer, killer, killer...

Killer, killer, killer...

I shout out and you twirl around
Rotating one-eighty like you're an owl
You look at me foul like a fowl out of bounds so
This is just something for which you're renowned
Back in the day when you used to clown
Now that I'm clowning you're the one running around
What have I done? This isn't fun!
Come at me strong, or come at me none

Back in your cage, the one that you made when you went insane and told me to stay,
Never have I ever followed in your ways
Never would I ever listen to you persuade

You'd need some skill, and not fumble your speech
I've seen examples, week after week
Calling me out saying that I'm a creep
When I used to feel to get by I must sneak

Now the tides turned, I'm friends with Poseidon
I'm a demigod and you're just a pirate
Plundering the ***** of your best mates
What? You don't like the **** I say?

Aww...

But I am no fraud
I am my own mob
I'm raising my head,
To inflict what I got!

How should I begin this, declaring my regret?
Cursing all the times that I had wished we never met?
Or maybe I should just proclaim my anguish and my sorrow
That I had not forseen, that we would not quite make tomorrow

And I'm sorry for the fact that I decided I could show
The parts of me I stowed away, the seeds I've allowed to grow
The parts of me unknown to most because it claims to hold
The part of my subconscious which would like to be known

I hate it how I used you, when I didn't ******* mean to
And I hate the way I got excited to even slightly sense you
I hate the path we walk, and I hate the way we talk,
And most of all I hate myself for letting that go

I loathe the way I claim to be so happily open minded
But can't accept when I've truly ****** it
Can't accept when I've finally lost it

Hate the memories that you conjure over my face
Like the way that I act, is the bitterness that you taste

And the part that gets me most, is how I thought you could trust
But how can one bestow a faith to a monster, so ******
Im divided by the sight of my own face in the ******* mirror
I open my mouth and silently scream like I'm scared to ******* hear it

Scared of myself, so why the **** do I care?
That when I say I'm demonic, that you'd be ******* scared?
One plus one is two for you and two for me as well
So I guess I'm asking for a second chance, to be the better Hell

Everybody has potential, so don't connect the dots
I am not the one you knew before in all his tempest, lost
I am not someone you know, despite the weight I tow
The recognition of my pain, and I know you think you know

But you don't, because here I am not so long after
Proclaiming all was over like a town shred by disaster
Destruction may be caused, and distrust where I never was,
But even nature overgrows the bombs we throw, we fly, we let go

Even friendship overthrows the venom I caused...

I'm sorry... just let me try my hand
You don't need to trust me, coz I already understand
You got skeletons in a closet, and I'm a high pressure faucet,
And I'll be waiting right here because I know I can't force it...

Toxic paradise, the land of the plastic,
Where beauty is painted and smiles are elastic
A planet that's built on staying youthful,
While we lie and we stab, and we're far from truthful

How can we tell the next generation this?
We're all outcasts yet we cast out the misfits
It's a bit suspicious, a name on a bad list,
Naughty or nice, doesnt work, won't exist...

There's just a blank canvas, hanging on the mantle
Above a dusty fireplace, with the light of a candle
Hope is kindling, so spark our dying fire
And watch us all get high on the smoke of hope's pyre

I didn't ask for this,
I didn't want to turn to you
But I guess the time has come,
Step to the looking glass and see the truth

Oh, such bitterness...
Stemming from an old abyss
With withered lips,
I'll curse you with a pity kiss...

***** winds, along the shore,
Here marks dead, the lonely crows caw
I cannot seem to sleep,
With the messenger of Him, waiting to reap

I see, what you won't,
And I feel, what you don't.
You came here, searching for more,
But all you found was a chemical

Up it goes, so lonely now,
Everything is warped and you're slow to sound
Curse afflicted, curse is addictive,
And when the bad days come you know you're protected, oh...

I didn't ask for this,
I didn't want to turn to you
But I guess the time has come,
Step to the looking glass and see the truth

Oh, such bitterness...
Stemming from an old abyss
With withered lips,
I'll curse you with a pity kiss...

Rot is plenty, not yours to perceive
Falling victim to your greed
Painful, true, but it's not to you,
Just the cause of a fallen few

She comes swift now heed her gift,
Bottoms up when she gave you this
Whiskey on the rocks and you're gone again,
Slumped on the table like you lost a friend.

In a way, suppose you have
Now the whiskey is down and it's all so sad
Poor me, pour me one more
And I'll go stumbling out this door

I didn't ask for this,
I didn't want to turn to you
But I guess the time has come,
Step to the looking glass and see the truth

Oh, such bitterness...
Stemming from an old abyss
With withered lips,
I'll curse you with a pity kiss...

Curse me, hurt me,
Doesn't matter what you do
Curse me, hurt me
In a toxic world with a beauty feud

It's like you see beyond the glimmer in my eyes
It's like you're able to look right through my faulty smile
It's like you see right past the parts of a different time
It's like you gaze into the depths and see two of a kind

It's like I seem to be to you as clear as the sky
Whenever you can't see a ******* cloud on the horizon, why?
You see the good intentions and you see the wicked ways
The water on the surface and the Devils own blaze!

I'm the master of my fate, I am not the beast in me!
I will not succumb, not be numb, to your ******* greed!
I will stay afloat, in the tides of misery!
I will make my way, and you will not **** me!

The jester we are one, the good and bad combined!
We live to entertain, but it's myself that I provide!
Laughing in despair, head lowered in pride
A contradictory conflict, and you see it in my eyes...

It's like you see beyond, the glimmer in my eyes
It's like you're able to look right through my faulty smile
It's like you see right past the mask behind which we will hide
It's like you gaze into the depths and see our dead divide...

If I'd a dime for every rhyme
That popped inside my head
Wishing plague and misery
To **** what is already dead

Then perhaps some day, should I have my way
I'd bring silence to the lambs
**** it's bleating, end it's breathing
And let me rest amongst the ******

We cursed few do mock the blessed
We dance on your very grave
If only you saw perspective
You'd know there's none to save!

Time, time and time again
You promised to make change
And now my mind won't SHUT UP
It knows that I'm to blame!

I did this, I did that
I know what wicked ends
Have forged the stage of sorrows
That gave you all there was left

With piggy eyes and snuffling pride
Your wretched filth, and life
Have tempted fate, as of late
Now scream, pig, and die...

Your lips against mine
Our bodies entwined
The bed in which we lie
The warmth we provide

All of which described
Are amongst my favourite kind

I don't know if you can see,
What I have become
For so long and so far,
Has been the distance that I run

Yet no matter how hard I try
To stand against the cold
It freezes me straight to the core
And so I stand alone

I found you, I fell for you
I guess it's meant to be
The strength of my true self
And the other turned its cheek

Surrounded by the bitterness
I fought for what I love
But now this Hell bares witness
To see it's not enough...


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead


I saw you as my everything,
Isolation was my foe
So hard it seemed at times to me
To let that poison go

I knew it wasn't possible
I said it so myself
But you have always loved me like
Nobody else

The mirror shows the sticks and stones
That broke my very heart
It's held together by my faith
A faith that hates to last

So I push it further and further still
I want to stay by you
But the voices whisper in my ear
IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead


It's hard to live with myself
Knowing only I care
The second one never begun
He hates the way I stare

You're so god-**** beautiful
It really makes me think
Some stories are repeats
Here's Beauty, here's the Beast!

No matter what she says to me
I'll always love you, you know
That's why I'll never say goodbye
I'll hold out for hope


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead

This poison taking over me,
I figured out its name...
The poison is Obsession
And it will take me to the grave...

The poison is Obsession
And won't miss my dying day...

We all have our regrets, and some things we can't forget,
But we throw the dice and pay the price of whatever happens next
Kinda like my first date, it was okay, to start with
I only wanted company, not "til death do us part" and it

Started slow, no real flow, until about a month
We would hang around each other and our hearts began to pump
Things were finally going somewhere, my hopes were looking up
To the point where every second missed would become too much

So yes I learned to love, and it burned a fire strong
We both called it "experiment" so we knew it all along
What started off slow and steady, would gain momentum
And at merely nine months in, would finally crash and burn

For a first shot, it went as smooth as it could get
But it would not be a sob story if I didn't have regrets
I never clarified with you the truth I only stuttered
Something about a burden, how it hurt, and I was flustered

So here's the nail in the coffin of what we became
I was there for you, to support you through, from start until the end
But at a five month milestone, I noticed your depression
It took a toll on you, but I was no exception

I've always been a loner with my problems in the corner
So when you stacked yours on top of mine, I thought "this is getting awkward"
"I got a lot of mine, and I tell her that I'm fine,
But now she wants to try some drugs, I think that's across the line"

At only aged fifteen, you told me your desire
To smoke away the night and day and drink fuel for the fire
I was really kinda stressed, always up late at night
I didn't wanna leave you but it seemed it was my pride

Telling me I could fix you, saying that I'm okay
But no man is an island, I could not find a way to stay
Never been religious, but to this very day
You cross my mind from time to time and I pray that you are safe

You see sometimes when I remember you I hate what we were
Because all I can reflect on is the pain and the hurt
Most of that came from afterwards, I set my anger on you
Because I felt I had been played, used and abused by

The rumours going round the school of myself and a "friend"
With benefits and that's the truth, apparently we had ***
Not the case, it's not okay, only two people knew
The reason I was so ****** was because I was convinced it was you

But I gotta say, well played, you got your boyfriend to call me
Moving on in just a few weeks, got him to confirm your story
Why could you not just say it? It made you seem so guilty
And all it ever did, was raise the hatred in me

Funny enough, after all that, you were the best ex
The other two, between me and you? Were really ill-met
The second would accuse me of pictures I never had
I even checked my galleries to be sure, ain't that sad?

She was insecure to a T and really couldn't trust me
I was being honest, she pursued it and then it hit me
"If this is the way it goes, then this never had hope"
She told me of her interest but after two months, she choked

Saying I never "got her" now that's not quite right
I merely had a higher understanding, and a sight
You see she was blind, could not leave her worries behind
And brought them to a relationship that was only doomed to die

And the third? Aha, I got with that friend
For all of eight days, what a shame, it was already dead
I never had that feeling for her, and when she came around,
My sister barely saw her, but hated the way she sounds

Its not that she's just bad, she's poorly directed
Quick to anger, gullible, your flaws made you defective
I remember back in year eight, you trusted your enemy
Over me, he said I called you fat, I never did, DONT QUESTION ME

I was loyal always, and that is how it started
Pretty much as soon as it began it had slanted
You said I never considered your feelings, and I suppose that's true
After all, I never thought to myself, "I'm in love with you"

You obsessed over me for FIVE YEARS, you see what turned me off?
Always wanting to hug me, when I just wanted you to get lost?
You can't respect my privacy, if I tell you something I tell YOU
Not for everyone around to hear about my TRUTHS

Lets not forget the fact that you're really quite petty
Remember our last texts, just last year, that you sent me?
I was in class, on my brothers anniversary
Ten years to that day, I wanted to mourn in peace

But I had maths to attend, I sat up the front
Then you texted me, asking if it was my best friend I'd ******
Still following a joke I made three months prior
I told you to let it go but you would not be quiet

So I let you in, on the joke, you would not believe
So I was telling you about how you should just leave me be
You went on to throw shade, calling me an *******
***** please, you know what this day MEANS TO ME, SO WHO'S THE *******?

That's what made me laugh, you thought you left me
Despite me making first moves, and so regretfully
I announce to my first ex, my failures thereafter
But now I've finally found peace, after all this disaster...

So I hope you're okay, and doing good in life
Hope you got the help you needed, to put down that knife
I hope you're healing up just fine, with eyes on the prize
Chase success, do your best, and for now I say goodbye...

The saying goes, of sticks and stones
Only words could never hurt
Yet hungrily, infested me,
Rooted deep within my earth

Lies the pain of loss, not gain
But only discovered power
That found within a demonic grin
Would surely, destroy, devour

Consumed within the origin
Of bounds beheld by greed
At abyssal depths of consciousness
Sprouts insanity from seed

To view the bliss of ignorance
Another soul be claimed
In fire and burning brimstone
Begs the question of "what is sane?"

Perspective held and all is lost
For who knows right from wrong?
You never see, such sprouted seed,
Until you've found where it belongs

I got another problem, another chance to solve em
But I'd rather lay under the sky and let my mind dissolve and
Sink into the ground, feel the breath leave my chest
In puffy dragon smoke that trails off into the sunset...

Yeah its a little cold, so what
I can run away into my mind and happily be lost
The spiralling air, that greys out with the frost
Can keep me fixated, dilated pupils gloss

With the wind in my hair as I lay without a care
See the clouds in the skies, only go where eagles dare
But I see myself riding one, a cotton ball so light
I'm feeling so relaxed that if I imagine it  just might

Happen and I'm feeling good, feeling pretty fly
I could drift across the air without even having to try
My clothes become the parachute to stop my every fall
Pick myself up, dust off, answer the call

Life picks me up like a wave deep into space
Drifting with the asteroids, spinning like a dinner plate
Caught inside, warm and cosy like a microwave
Open up the door, and I'm as baked as a cake

Grab a slice, I know I'm nice, don't bite me hard be gentle
Tasty just erase me sliding down, I'm feeling mental
Dancing to the sound, the humming through the ground
That makes me see my ears hum, drumming feeling loud

Yet quiet as a butterfly, a fragile autumn leaf
Falling on a windy May, from the branch its been set free
Peaceful like "what's evil", is it live re-arranged?
Watching every play from the back row, but standing centre stage

Every film and every cut where the recording isn't right,
But they keep on anyway to a deadline without a time
Set, and so upset and so depressed i see the fall
Before they get the chance to bow, it's become a curtain call

It's a shame to see such pain when the peace is but a leaf
Independence like the ones that fall, floating down a creek
In the eye of the beholder is the beauty first viewed
Tell me; for good or worse, that's all up to you

Everything that you pursue, do it for the better
And when you are successful be sure to capture every letter
And never let go, always hold the memory close
As though it is the cure to pain you could never do before

I love you, immensely,
Intensely, you set free,
The best of luck, to lust and ****,
Nobody tries contesting

Everything that you see, I don't, can't believe
Let me see the best of me
Perhaps then I won't seem
U-g-ly

Im loyal, and trusting
Guidance is everything
For you I'd give anything
My heart my soul for a diamond ring!

For you are worth more than the stars
That twinkle in the broken glass
The shadows the voices the blood and the pain
I'd suffer it all for you to smile again...

Death befalls those ****** to wither
And as we are all flowers lacking that life inducing water
****** to death are we all

They said I couldn't make it, said I was worthless
Said I'd be nothing, and left me hurting
But as I rise up to the call
I know who I am, and I won't fall

I'm a glacier, in the middle of winter
I'm a saviour, or so it's been hinted
And though I am cursed and covered in dirt
I rise, unbreakable, with passion that burns

They don't know me and they say they care,
How can you care when there's nothing there?
You may like me that's not enough,
You throw it to me but I don't trust

You say you support me, then why don't I feel it?
Face it man, the truth has you reeling
Say that you're there and then turn your back
When I bare the brunt while you cut your slack!

******* hell, there's one example
In this laboratory, here's the samples
Little bit of hate and a quarter of misery
Mix that **** and put it against greed

I'm not yours so you try and take me
Divide and conquer, not so you see
I'd face the world if all you wanted was death
You can pin that **** up on my chest

I'll die on my terms, **** your game
If you wanna die then just stay the same
You ***** and you moan how nothing will change
YOU DONT EVEN TRY TO REARRANGE

Call me depressed and call me ******
You're only checking two off of that list?
Try psychotic, try neurotic,
For ***** and gigs maybe tick ******

They're zooming around like planes in my head
Every time you speak everything drops dead
You set up a lie just to live it through
You start on drugs for something to do

I can't help, try helping yourself
Because you're not dead, just killing everything else
I had such hope and where'd it go?
Maybe up in smoke, maybe up your nose?

You're not stupid stop acting
You ain't no robot you've got feeling
I'm walking dead but I'm still bleeding
Walking dead and my heart's still beating

If I'm going down, I'll do it alone
Not when in surrounded by love that's grown
I'm falling down but she's still catching me
Just to pick me up and dust my knees

Maybe I'll get better I don't know
Everything in my head makes life seem low
Our difference is I know how I'll die
And it won't be because I let **** lie!

I see these demons with my eyes,
Hear the demons in my mind
And I'm left wondering if true comfort
Could ever leave the skies

The only angels I ever knew,
Existed in my world
Fated to dance with a devils hand,
Tumble, twist, spin and twirl

There is one that's rescued me,
From my path she set me free
And it would be a crime to commit
The acceptance of defeat

The chains of her love,
Fit around me like a hug
When she hasn't seen me in a while,
I'm the crow and she's the dove

Two opposites who seem the same
Species at least with neither tamed
Unless we're in each others arms
Such memories are pictures framed

Her love is strong where I am not,
I'm beaten down, blind and lost
The only light that guides me fair
Hell or heaven, fire or frost

It hurts to know that I'm infected
Malicious mind, I keep rejected
While virus-like it spreads in me
She's safe right here, she's now protected

Heart may stumble, words may fumble
The world could crash and burn and crumble
But as long as my love lives by my failing heart
For her, I'd forever tumble

A sickness is inside of me, a plague of crows
That caw on humid winds and I know they don't
Want what's best, so they take it all away
Leaving me a husk, this thing I am today

It burns in my chest, it scorches my thoughts
Eats my sanity up, and you bet I fought
Maybe I'm not buried but I'm happily dead
Just seeing another dawn, fills me with dread

One slight move, and I've grown cold
The warmth you feel is it's feverish hold
Things may be going well, but I'm not one
I stare into the mirror and hate what I've become

I look alright, but that's a disguise
I know the monster hidden inside
Give me the means and I will show you the end
You like what you see, but it's all pretend...

There are the whispers that call the crows and these crows are numbered three. They are named Gullibility, Doubt and Misery

If ever a time you lose your strength or become lost amongst the pain, then these three crows will ensure you never find your way

Gullibility you see, with eyes as black as mud, has razor claws always red for he always draws first blood

Doubt is quite plain but with ruffled feathers greyed. Not so much the specialist, but is best amongst the plague

And finally swoops Misery, bloodied beak on black. The final move in a worn out soul, Death's merciful attack

an acid, a poison, corroding my thoughts
crossroads that run four different corridors
at the end of each, a padlocked door
not much to see but here, have a tour

one leads to Guilt, it opens a lot
and from deep inside lies a scent of rot
imagine sunken eyes, decay-riddled flesh
crusted tears caught in the folds of saddened death

the second leads to Rage, hear the beast in the cage
a vicious monster kept, a lion untamed
the red claw marks along the walls and the blood that dried
I've lost myself so many times you could say that I died

to your six opens Doubt, a hollow void indeed
you can feel the pulsing dark, lustful or greed
its desire is destroy, to run down into the ground
and claim my soul its only goal, gone without a sound

the fourth is most vicious, a chasm called Depression
all your thoughts and feelings, kept under suppression
for to voice all the voices telling you that you should die
is the means to take away the chance that you may try...

and in the centre stands me, isolated by this pain
the likes of which to share would be of zero gain
a problem told is a problem halved but this one can't be cut
I know things that can, but the unsolved is worth much

and I keep what's mine....

If life is a ***** then death is my lover
I kiss one hello and farewell the other

Embrace the darker spaces that lie within my heart
And reject the obligations that are bound to never last

Why can't you just leave me in peace, just leave me be
I'll exit one nightmare and enter a dream through sleep

Its funny how I can be dead in the brain
Only four hours sleep but still slaying stupid games
The people expect trust when its all turned to rust
Faulty; and your fault for letting it settle in the dust

Like hold up, wait a minute, you ******* me over
That logic you used there; are you certain you're sober?
Don't you dare try to pin your **** onto me
Just because I wont take a drink from a stagnant creek

I didn't come down in yesterdays rain
I know the difference between real and fake
I know when you're brewing an earthquake
I know enough to start making a change

I have the experience of a thousand words
Hidden behind bust lips, sounds left unheard
Vocal chords not humming, no six stringer strumming,
And buzzing like my phone does when lips start running

You could make a change too, stop and think
This relation is parched and needs new drinks
You've brought it all down, suffered in a drought,
Concocted some confusion and forged brand new doubts

I won't buy false gold no more, I'm no fool
Imma fix it up, but I need my tools
Stop acting like one too, start being a solution
You want me back? Well stop toying with my trust for your amusement

Well here i am, done being victim
Of thicker than bricks people who just won't listen
This is me letting go, final words
This is me breaking this ******* curse

When you try to help like the Fox to the Snake
Trust misplaced realising too late
Turned around and bit me like wait
I knew it all along now i know the game

Play on your mind and run it over
Like they always drunk driving don't know sober
Hopeless when again he told me so
I never learn coz i hold out hope!

Curtain calls I'm releasing the rope
Turned it into a noose this crow could choke
Liked to hear my pain when i turn insane
Over the fact that neither of us can really let go

I know you know i dont make mistakes twice
Reinforced by the fact that he wished suicide
Except I'm smart don't be a ******
Eminems words become something that hits real hard!

Asking for advice and i try to play nice
You played ***** and i tried that thrice
Told him about how i tried the knife
Can't keep your mouth shut so you run it like strife

Is all you cause my pain cause and effect
The effect you had slowly turned negative
Now we're back to strangers, these words are saviours
And steer me clear of ****, these top notch sailors!

Well the streets are flowing with slick spilled blood
Tsunami on the road causing a flood
You can't see at all you'd probably run
Into it like you do with drama for fun!

Well this **** is over, twas a good game
Insane you brought out but huh well played
Made me doubt my reasons to stay
Made me doubt twice now I've run away

All i ever did never once said thanks
Smelt the poison a mile off that **** smells rank
Ranked among the stupid that had such faith
Can't stop you sinking i came too late

I did so much for what little it was worth
Like Linkin Park I'm breaking this curse
Smash old habits, rap like a rabbit
Reach for the door, turn this handle I'm grabbing!

Huh, but i guess you'll never learn
That my mind is energy that makes me burn
So these fireproof gloves handle flaming doves
I'm a Phoenix ******* and you get no love

Another brand new day, a chance to start again
But if i did so then I'd have to discard all this pain
And as much as it pains me to hold it like so,
Without this experience I'd have nada to show

No stories to tell, no stories to share
No stories from drunken lips spilled without a care
You want to know the truth of it, the world is often cold
And those among us oftentimes succumb to icy holds

I've done so too, dragging my feet
Every day was an encore, every hour on repeat
So the days came, and so too they left
Nothing but a hollow sorrow leaking through my chest

Porcelain became my actions, stone become my face
A facade for my every move, a wolf with naught to chase
The darkness in the skies became the darkness in my eyes
As the darkness in the night became the darkness held inside

Shadows grew longer, so too did my inaction
An enzyme gone cold, with minimal reaction
This lethargy that enveloped every thought that crossed my mind
I crossed off all the pain and laughed, urged the struggles to hide

So struggle i did, so exhausted i grew
A plant of my previous self, all i did was grow roots
Stuck into the Earth with no intention to leave
I found myself worthless, this became my belief

And when i crossed out all my mistakes
These actions shown through carelessness made
An S.O.S called for, a flare launched in the sky
Shining ever brighter than the stars that lit the night

Uprooted and carried, burden i felt
Looking at my limbs satisfied with damage dealt
But hungrily lust for more, so more and more i drew
My laughter marked upon my arms in delirium renewed

Every step and every breath has pushed me off the edge
Until i fell and climbed back up, learned to walk again
My funambulism established, my lifetime the ropes
That once upon a time wound its way around to choke

With every moment left behind, my resolve grows evermore
Mentally i mark myself rather than count a bladed score
And when I've had enough, I'll not give up no more
I have a divine partner whom i love to my very core

And so I'll drag myself upright, so that i die with dignity
And make every day feel like a brand new beginning
Forgive my troubled actions, wish away my pain
Wash away these scars, and let us start again

Pick my mind up, brush off the dust
Wait what's this I'm missing a part?
Turn it over there lays a smouldering dart
Flick it off and blow away the specks of rust

Twist my head off, place it inside
Reconnected to my neck for the final time
Flash to the stage, velvet arms wide
Nervous in the presence of grand design

A grander plan I couldn't understand
In prayer to the Devil I clasp my hands
"Please reset the face, such high demand
For just living on a home and residing on land"

Turn to the Heavens I hope you exist
Because its the last place left on my bucket list
Everywhere I go still holds zero hope
And surrounded by people I'm surrounded, alone

I'll fight my way out, only killing myself
Choke another me by whipping out my belt
Turn to a monster, the mirror on the wall
Place a bullet with shaking hands and laugh as the glass falls

Shred my skin off underneath a clear sky
All I smell is blood, my flames never die
The rage that drives me, the fuel in supply
The fact it ends me I will always deny

The only death I see is the walls around me
Closing in on my head is such a bounty
The last time I got lost they never found me
I walked back in because I felt unease

Finally I embraced it, now we are one
If my words are bullets then my fists are the gun
One follows the other, when you're knocked down cold
I laugh at myself and condemn that soul

A tremble of the hands indicates an animal
The smile on my face painted for the carnival
Makeup smudged crying against the door
I turn around and walk because I walk no more

My heart is a nade with two seconds left
The pin was pulled when you stole my breath
I felt the pain of it through my chest
You gave me reason to keep killing the rest

Every day I wake and sling my crossbow
Because when I'll see another me I can never truly know
I **** these demons, I see all evil
I **** myself because they're not real people

So you say you're flying but deep down you're dying
Smile so crocodile I can sense you're lying

Plastic and fake prone to imitate
The snake in the grass leaves patience with Fate
Waiting too long and you got it all wrong
Singing sad songs to put the remorse where it belongs

Stay strong, head up, trust is a must
Don't violate the love by living like it's lust
Because once we are ashes there is no us
Just sorrow on the windowsill, filling gaps with dust

Mistakes will be made and battles will be won
You may win some but the war is not done
In the lulls of time we take time to have fun
And when its up in smoke we bare loaded guns

As we stand alone, so we live united
We take up arms and become divided
Withholding memories, we fight one sided
So we live our fantasies when the dogs aren't biting

Born for a purpose some of us never know
And as such we drag mangled cars under tow
We want to be remembered yet we all stay low
Want to live fast yet we all run slow

The hint is in the name but it's never us we blame
All praying for a change yet we all remain the same
A shame to run this, our Human Race
Ashamed to go out and reveal true face

Where are we now? What is this pain?
The mistaken take charge and the wise turn insane
We reach out our hands, but in spite we never grasp
The fingers lose grip and the numbers are cast

We take chance for granted as though it is not much
The coincidences we call luck eat you for lunch
I never liked this Earth and nor should anyone else
Yet I stand alone where my future needs help

Dumbed down we deal Death, a rigged trump card
From our very first breath until our very last
Peace amongst all is hidden in the chaos
Amongst the stars shine those who were misguided, lost

I'm like a teachers pet except what I  learn I regret
Eager to be the best but stressed when it comes to the test
I'd rather lay down mindful practicing in my head
Then to lay down mindless depressed as s__t in my bed

As of Life,
As of Death
First you run,
Then you rest

Every day is the same thing,
What keeps us moving,
The substance and the drugs that some keep abusing so

What is this world now?
Where is the count down?
If this is a circus then we're all just clowns!

The ringleader speaks and so think we must not
Instead we pop the pills that gives us courage once lost!
Amidst all the rot, flowers love me not,
Nature won't forgive for we have forgot!

It's all just cause and effect,
Protect and reject
Detect and defect,
Discard and collect

Trust in the trash,
Liars mix and match
Selling you the shady ****
That destroys every pact

Getting luck from a draw
The Irish in me is called
As my number is pulled
Adrenaline is pulled forth

But here is my call,
The Misfortunate fall
Around me stands doors
And all lead to closed corridors....

So i stand in front of a boy i never gave up on
Til now, you're taking my strength when i need to stay strong
It's like watching a creation from a test tube; experiment
Only less of a man and more of a little princess!

I took punches to the face for you, prove my f!@#$%ng loyalty!
You just stood there, proof that in return you'd do f@#k all for me!
It's like when I needed you most you was standing, walking dead
Hopeless and far from helpful in your own battles, yet again!

For months I've tried dragging a dead weight out from his own grave
That with his own hands and borrowed strength he decided once he'd made
Yet how can you pull something that refuses to move
It's not that he's stuck for f@#k sake, he just doesn't want to!

Doesn't have a job, doesn't go to school
Instead lives in a van in his backyard and refuses to move
Or do anything as a matter of fact, just cry over his last love
You've all the time and i think I've heard enough!

Of hearing how she's your everything, wake up dude you're fifteen
I get you get feelings to but you're sounding like a ***** love machine!
All i hear nowadays is how you're so f@#$ing depressed
Suicidal like it's vital to take anger out on your own chest!

You could have been the best, beaten every test
You have a brain for Christ's sake, stop talking about Death
Like he's your best friend, that was me but now i gotta let go
Of someone i held out for, who cries for help but only cries for soap

Make a reality show out of it, a helpless little man
I had such hope where did it go i just don't f@#$ing UNDERSTAND!!

I know i tend to fixate on problems that don't matter
Only wishing i could go back before disaster even happened
Some people need to learn, to learn from mistakes made
Hypocrisy says i do that one thing every **** day

In preaching a solution and trying to make it apply
I happily problem-repeat I know the truth not the reasons why
Pushing at an answer for all my unknown questions
I ask too much yet not enough to feel slightly pressured

Second guessing my responses and accepting all the consequences
Similarly, weighing  50/50 on my consciousness
A problem-less probability of dealing with **** peacefully
Is like changing the definition of equality to equity

Everywhere i go i walk slow, just to breathe in the air
Walking with a swagger listening to Marshal Mathers like i don't care
What you think of me, keep talking the talk
I'll stride on by because i walk the sidewalk while y'all just stop and gawk
Staring at my hungrily like a fish to a ravenous hawk
I'm a Phoenix mother f*er it's a competition, of the squawk!

Like it's only my fault, just hoping to live a life
I'm not squatting in the shadows like a motorcycle with no brake line
You're wheeling out of control, wheezing coz of all you smoke
You wanna whittle at it and puff puff but your throat catches and chokes!

Gripping at all your lost dreams like trying to grasp sand
Time up, ticked over, read the back of my packet to understand
Trying always to make the best of a real bad situation
Like pulling rainbows and silver clouds from a city lost to mayhem

I turn to the TV and turn it on, another twenty dead
Because a Middle Eastern man let religion get to his head
That sort of **** sticks to me like glue to overused shoes
A few years old and growing mould, worn and torn under daily abuse

Another case of law and order failing at justice
Because people will talk tall **** just to evade the clutches
Did you know its a 497 cash fine,
For running red lights
Yet some mother got 500 for baby bashing crimes?!

She took straight to the Internet, said she'd do it all again
This stays straight on my mind like wedded couples wearing golden rings
Quite simply put, the system has me shook
Prisoners behind bars and crooks running free like headless chooks!

Maybe you're starting to sense a little something in what I say
If not then just for you I'll become religious, bless you and pray
That maybe someday, you'll glare past the flashing red signs
And meet it with a gaze like a good student meets every deadline

Sophistication is the message hiding behind my words
If you refuse to look further than death and dirt you won't witness the hurt
It takes time for mad rhymes stuck to brainwaves like lifelines
To resign, and reappear from the pen to padded paper lined

And it's even harder putting the pieces in place
This is a jigsaw puzzle, such trouble is a thousand mistakes
But align them like a cosmic balance; and there you have it
Another visionary hole for a dead and dying rabbit

*It's clear to me,
You can't see
What is going on inside my mind

So here i stand,
Do what i can,
To show the scars of what claws inside

It's clear to me
You can't see
The cogs turning gears inside my mind

So here i stand,
Pen and paper in hand
To read you the words between the lines

Thought you could come up in my grill and ignite me, start beef
Well imma cook you through and through until it ruins your week
Because you're a waste of space and meat to me, honestly
I'd rather pull my teeth out with pliers and then slit all my arteries

The ****t that spills out from your mouth, no doubt
That people would rather meet the Father than live in your drought
Not sure which is worse, your words or Beck's bottled beer
When it comes to drying out my love of good things its unclear

Just for the record that ****t is liquid Vegemite
And it'll blow your a$$hol3 open like a six pack of dynamite
I'll stick by the bottles of ***** and my shots of tequila
Then whatever the f**k you call those bars, like
Terminator over being weird!

You can take my life,
Or even give me death
You could be the knife
I'd gladly bare my chest

This mind of mine drives me landmine crazy
The hell yes, the hell no and the hell, perhaps and maybe
I manage to always be tired and upset
But better yet, happy and full of rest

Always but never cold and alone
Never but always warm and fully emptied of hope
This contrasting contradiction can predict and comment
Why i may just die on my own, surrounded by water,
Boots of cement

(But i don't really, but really do want to drown/breathe)

Hell, I'd run out on the street and hug a hobo
Just because it feels so good to not be flying solo
Low-key hopeless caught in action movie slow-mo
Heart racing, escalating my chest about to blow though

Tick tick kaboom, you made me more room
Rather than remove my mind roughly you made it real smooth
Laying awake til four only thinking of you
And all the things between us that i wanna pursue

Or kick-start or keep going,
These words wantonly flowing
I'm just saying what I'm thinking blindfolded i know it's glowing
The light around the edges telling me what i see
And what i see is my Queen amidst all of her beauty

I wake up but its all a dream
Cashin cheques on reality
You can't avoid if you cannot see
And you can't cash in without a salary

I'd imagine by now that the world would be flat
As lies to the weak is like *** for tat
Like this and that and Yin to Yang
Inseparable if its lodged in your brain

Like an icepick fits a lobotomy
Or the key to the locked monstrosity
The lack of hygiene to disease
I see strange **** while i sleep

Like balaclavas and white vans rollin
Free candy, kids stolen
Schools shut down by big bad guns
Trigger happy to be struck down dumb

Police enforcing, breach and clear
To clear the haze that fogs the mirror
What you see reflected is what lies inside
But brought out stronger, you can see it in the eyes

Cold and malicious, a job is a job
A cop or a gangster, ready to rob
At the end of the day, a life taken is crime
Evil changes host, it never truly dies

If i have no trust I'm sorry
But y'all lied when you said dont worry
Because i placed my faith and now its wasted
On a bunch of *******, evil motivated

The essence of the soul is a *** of gold
That can be exploited by greed unknown
A certain host, attracts moths to a lamp post
They find the fit and fill that hole

That void becomes your battery
A lifetime of crime without sanity
So here I lay, cashin in my salary
The reality that fuelled my vanity

The one i love, loves me not
So am i chasing a beautiful girl
Or a nightmare?

These feelings that I've got
They make me scream
Make me plead
Oh God I'm guilty

Of falling for you

And its so hard to breathe
When you're near me
I feel like an intrusion
On someone, too pure

Admist the confusion

I, cannot sleep,
I am melting
Falling through my dreams

And there's one thing to be seen

I, will wear this Crown of Thorns
If only to be by you,
For one second more

I will fly
Spread my wings
If only to fall
And wake with you beside me...

But i know, one things for sure
I keep waking on the floor
Amongst the dust
And all my broken thoughts

And so you see, for all i say
These words won't change the way
That you perceive
It might just be a bad dream
Or an unfortunate reality

I, will wear this Crown of Thorns
If only to be by you,
For one second more

I will fly
Spread my wings
If only to fall
And wake with you beside me...

*music *

For just one second more...
Oh, for just one second more..

I will endure this pain
Like a cage it contains
My punctured heart

And so i say,
Even though these scars will stay
Are a beautiful girl?
Or are you my nightmare?

Either way it hurts..
But i no longer care!

I, will wear this Crown of Thorns
If only to be by you,
For one second more

I will fly
Spread my wings
If only to fall
And wake with you beside me...

I, will wear this Crown of Thorns
If only to be by you,
For one second more

I will fall
Even if i try to fly
But thats okay, at the end of the day

I'm falling for you

So i sit here spinning my pen again
Tryna think straight too late, easy man
Runnin' up, too fuck3d i don't have a chance
Too quick, too slick, made it to the end

Now what should I write before i get sidetracked?
Should i spit a little quicker about rhymes and raps?
How about advertise them jumping jacks
And how exercise is good at keeping down bad fat?

Nah man, that ****t sounds lame
Yeah i know but the actions always stay the same
Eat Maccas life hackers who cant cook a meal
And wonderin' why their trusty rusty weight scales squeal

Yeah dude, i know that a problem, hold
No matter what you sell it all gets cold
Like frozen cokes, just a dollar fast sold
Syrup and sugar that tastes too good to close

**** these hoes,
Wash it all down like a fire hose,
Where this ****t goes even i don't knows,
But I'm the writer y'all
Pshh I'm in control

Its easy too
Whip out the cash and drive on thru
Without a second glance at whats in your food
And why do i try to write to you
I'm just in the mood

Now this ain't a diss track just spittin' facts
But if ya keep buying quick you'll get heart attack
Some cardiac, not police, still arrest
Freeze with both hands up like be my guest

You'll wake on up with an oxygen mask
And wondering why your mouth tastes like a$$
Why you layin' on your back and ya wanna pass gas
But you fear if you do then your life won't last

You look to the roof and see the truth
When the bulge of your belly blocks the blinding view
Casting a shadow across the next street too
And you wonder how the doctor gonna quick-fix you

Well here's some news, flash ****!ng headlines
Perhaps if you were careful you wouldn't hear the sirens
Alarms are sounding both within and without
Never heard either, your lips flap like a trout

Just a fat-**** fish ****!ng gasping for air
Out of his habitat, look in the mirror
Because if there's one thing left to haunt your nightmares
Its the 1-0-0 flashing back to scare

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Like whats your pant size, is it such a surprise?
Your belt buckle bursts because you got large fries?
For every day, and you got sausage thighs
God help the plane freighting you through the skies!

Sorry sir, all luggage is 20 and under
"I cant hear you, my thighs are thunder"
Your baggage sir, its far too large
The amount of fat flesh exceeds the limit by far!

Just danglin' there, and its hard not to stare!
When its in my face like when i trip the stairs!
That s**t could knock me out, fair and square!
Miley Cyrus, i found a free wrecking ball dear!

There's so much to swing from, a chandelier
Of quivering pale skin that makes my eyes go weird
When you take a seat, do you have to use two?
Do you gotta pay extra for the crane that they use?

****, son just take it easy
You spittin so much its makin' me queasy

Sorry man, it doesn't make much sense
Why the easy man cant walk up more than one stair

Like not only is it an inconvenience
You're relying on strangers spaces to be lenient
And then you gotta wonder why you get funny looks
That weight is a crime and they spotted the crook

Just take it easy, but not so easy
I don't wanna see your face shine so god-**** greasy
Like i get it man you eat when you ain't hungry
I ain't your next meal stop lookin' funny

But please, learn to look after yourself
Book a time for the gym to improve yourself
Do some jumpin' jacks it'll improve your health
Take in a few notches off that black leather belt

See? Dude, that ain't so lame
At least there was a message left halfway sane
Yeah i got half a brain, it don't take two cells
To realise that some people just as sick as well

He was an easy man, easy man
A fat fast **** who didn't really care
Once upon a time ate like a ****!ng dumb bear
Now he's callin' out the Rock for an arm wrestle, YEAH!!

ahahahaha
Easily the easy man comes real quick,
Jumpin' jacks over the Hungry Jacks fix!

I dont care what you say about
Men we're not ******
To stay silently violent,
Guns ready to fire

We aint gunslingers, walking all alone
We've minimal ammunition, we all wish we had more
A collectors store without boredom full of lead and war
A bitter path torn from the bitter hearts reward

The Devil walks on, in our soul the Lord's been gone
For at least two thousand years then a little sprinkle more
Didn't you hear? Crucifixion is addicting to the body
When by God's will he rose from where he lay rotting

See what i don't see is a solution for me
The evil in our hearts advance like Moses to the Red Sea
Its almost meant to be, that he's not for you or me,
Crazy it seems to be but crazy is what defines me

And refined finally, my thought process to polish
Perhaps you reject common facts by faith you'll abolish
The abomination that is by my nomination
The station, by which we pull the train that is a failing religion

If prayers did ****t for you, then that's cool, stay by God
And pray away the starvation, the slaving and the rot
But without action your thoughts and wishes are dead fishes to an aquarium
"Watch out kids, the smell is strong, just don't sniff it then"

God ****** by God's hand is his Children abandoned
You may live on with hope, but we're worse after moving on
In fact little has changed, our ways opinionated
But hey, that's my opinion and it'll get me killed if i say it!

So i guess i should claim this work as just a joke to rehearse
Coz if i don't then the Church will burn me at the stake like a demon I'm cursed
"Leave this blessed place, lest you stain the face of this Earth
With jokes and humour, you curse-hurdling mind-turtling ****"

Well that's okay, any place is better than Hell on Earth
Where pedophiles **** over little kids, yet I'm the joke and the curse
A lesson unlearned, as humans we burn
By the very nature of the forces that reproduced us like birth

A faulty experiment, that's what we are, just vermin
Little rats and mice, pests like head lice, ya guts churnin'
Feeling sick to the core, but you bought a survivors score
Tally up the years without chalk, just fingernails and whiteboards

Annoyed am I by the supposed gifts of God
If his gift is for us to **** ourselves then we surely bought
Into a failing cause, this opinion wont have sought
Anything but negativity where's the debate for which i fought?

So as you can tell, I'm the spitting image of Hell
Defined by my lack of presence at the toll of a bell
Sunday's are my lazy days, yet everyone else's to pray
I'd rather not trust into the tiger as prey

He'll eat you up, your money, your life and your family
Eyes closed and hands clasped with minds surrendering
I should be thankful this was hardly forced onto me
Otherwise I'd be just another religious zombie

My faith lies in evidence i can see feel and touch
So unless you have the man Himself i wouldn't dedicate to anything but lunch
Food is good for your body, another real thing to me
If i wanna cleanse my soul I'll do it with something that fully fulfills me

And its not bowing on my hands and knees
Just to please or displease an unseen deity
The variety of higher powers that can't be viewed
Is just the more clarity that the truth is skewed

I'm a man of psychology, technology and biologies
The chemistry that makes me be is a visual clarity
The evidence of God's work i cant see before me
So either I'm blind or wide-eyed and y'all are dreaming

But whats an opinion to you, when all y'all pursue
Is the chance to strike a match and dip into kerosene, no clue
What happened to our honesty, honestly its lost on me
A dishonest man is just a common story thief

They're everywhere, once more the rat
But y'all done goofed now because guess who's back?
That's right, the black cat, the night owl, not Shady
He maybe be a little crazy but he ain't me

So eat me or beat me, push away the locks' key
Turn it into wine and bread and then decide to feed three
Because that's the magic number and its bothering me
How death, d!cks and dishonesty are all around me

Hahahaha, the jokes on me
Naturally, there comes a fee