The sale sign is up
And so are my feet
I know I'll be here for a while
I've stamped a discount sticker on my forehead
It's more a dare than a warning
Take me home for half the retail price
There's a few scratches and scuffs
A bit rough around the edges
There's been wearing and tearing
It says so right here on the box
Just so happens I've also lost the lock
That came with it
So you see
It's a little defected
But instead of being rejected
I won't tell a soul
That you stole a glance at me
Sitting on the sale rack
And thought you could rip off the 'special' tag
Never letting anyone know
That you got me
But you can palm me off
As a full price defect
No one will know
I trusted you with many things
all except the thing you wanted
whole, untouched, something you felt missing
a fire you stopped burning
it was your eagerness, to have one
that i begin to doubt
to question if it's truly right
to give, with all despite
after thinking long and hard
an answer came to me
in words not be spoken
it was never meant to be
I need to teach myself
that when they leave,
when they fall out of love,
when they reject,
It's not always because of my inadequacy
but rather it speaks
volumes about them.
I will not help you if you reject my help.
its really stupid
but after all this time
my heart still beats for you
What a silly little heart
He doesn't want you
and he never will.
How stupid I am
My mind blisters,
From the thoughts it contains.
To formulate their verbal representation,
I'd be tasked to break the restraints.
But what an arduous task,
To release such material.
When the thoughts are masked by cobwebs,
Made from freshly cut steel.
Now don't find it unjust,
That my words stay contained.
I yearn to share with you my mind,
But my will has been drained.
To encounter dismissal,
With my newly-found hope,
Holds the excess thoughts hostage,
In bitter pursuit to cope.
My faulty thoughts have become rejects.
I am rejected by all.
I am devoid of life.
I am invisible to those around me.
Everyone dates, kisses, makes love.
I go to sleep with tears in my eyes.
I am a hollow shell of a human.
by social customs.
this day has been dreaded ever
since I can remember.
every gift I got.
every card I wrote.
was to appease you.
and i'm still a prisoner.
It wasn’t given to you
So you can feel sorry.
I'm sitting, on my bed, I just woke up
Have to turn off my alarm, already stressed enough
I take it, feel the horrid taste in my mouth
As I make it drown, with the water that last night I left out
Flushed down, it should hold any second
I take a breath and
Ask myself the burning question...
Why the **** am I depressed then?
Flashbacks to times I couldn't sleep
Crying to myself, why the **** is it I feel weak?
Why the **** is it me? Why do I feel empty?
Hollow hearted, where has it departed, I feel so lonely!
Gaps in my memory and gaps in its effectiveness
I still wear a smile just to feel like I'm rejecting it
Placebo effect and pretend that I'm still proud of me
But see this shrouding me? You're **** right you should've doubted me!
Fifteen minutes of reminding myself I'm nobody special
It feels like ten years on Death Row
Berating myself, why aren't I better, why can't you hold hope?
A vicious cycle on a motorcycle, kick the chair and let go!
I still have thoughts of suicide
In the short time it takes for me to find my lifeline
Here it comes, thanks for the pickup
The only time I can say I'm thankful that I took drugs