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Solar 4d
The clouds float with a sense of melancholy this day,
leaving a lingering sensation of unease echoing below
the well of my insomnia.

The eclipse has cast a dulling shade upon my adulthood.
Where I once felt the ember of passion,
there now lays bare a garden of wilting lavender
Sophia Nov 20
i am a stray
dragging my feet through the mud
waiting for the sun to drop
so i can hide in the shadows
for a little while.

i am not where i belong
i am stuck in a wave of pitfalls
but the earth keeps revolving
can it not hear me?
can it even see me?

when i scream,
beg,
plead,
for it to stop,
for it to slow down
so i can catch up
my body is here
but my mind is somewhere else.
a poem i wrote about disassociation.
Moth Oct 4
I sit alone on the floor,
the light blinks in and out.
...or perhaps it is my eyes?
that I cast now over leftwards
to look at the doorway.
Empty, as it always is,
or is now? as it should be.

I feel as though I am floating,
no, I am grounded now.
Chained here to the floor.
My body lays like bones in the ground,
unmoving and crushed by dirt.
heavy and cloying, the smell of earth.
worms dig under my skin,
wriggling parasites in my skull.

Am I decaying? like I once wished.
my thoughts like rot, what else...
but to deteriorate into darkness.
My body lays on the floor,
a useless cadaver as it always was.
I am strung to it by some means,
my ghost lingering on the dead.
Have I not moved on yet?
Heavy weight on top of me
Icy
falling asleep
Eyes weak and droopy
Body in cement
Paralyzed
My spirit floating on top of my lifeless body,
Death is that you?
Why must you come and visit me but never take me to your home?
And yet you won’t let me leave
I want to let go but it seems you have me entranced by your numbness,
I want to be light as air,
Not heavy like a boulder.
I want my spirit back
Why did you take it away from me
Why did you take the vibrancy
Why did you take my eyes to see
Let me go or take me with you
How I feel when I disassociate :)
I am
bottomless

this gaping
maw

place my heart
vacated

I am
devoid

and resonance has
deserted me

this is a lonely
place to be


inside myself


.
Viseract Jul 17
Sunken eyes, wretched mind
This void I feel is my demise
The depths to which can't be described
Reality, the biggest lie

I wander roads that can't go wrong
So will you miss me when I'm gone?
I'm right here yet so far away
Will you be the one who stays?
The subtlety of disassociation
Bansi Adroja Jun 17
Depression is
a life lived under water
numb to feeling
robbed of sound
falling
rising in the tide
at the whim of the waves
heavy
and hopeless
Depression
Shin Jun 11
I do not live in this world.
I merely
spy it
through the looking glass.
Elemenohp May 12
Yes I see these memories,
But was I really there?
Body and mind both there in time,
Though soul and thoughts, were where?

The past a story written down,
The pages in a book.
Photographs on camera roll,
The ones I never took.
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