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Orion Sep 11
When I woke up this morning
I felt my skin crawl and body ache
And my entire being was sitting at the edge of a knife
And I could feel the backs of my knees being gently sliced into as I swung my legs

When I woke up this morning
I felt my mind reeling back and forth like a wind-up car
Forehead and heart alike pounding as I sat up
My ankles clicked and my jaw popped open
To reveal damaged clockwork within
And I was stuck at exactly 6:37 am

When I woke up this morning
Something felt off
My hands felt as though they were placed three inches away from where they are on my wrists,
My ears rung with noises I barely remembered
And my eyes stung with just the light from my dim screen,
and burned when I flicked the switch

When I woke up this morning
My nerves were on fire
And I was reduced to a pile of tear-stained ashes
Because why should I cry if I knew what was wrong?
Questions racing about my mind
Dulled by choked on routines electrifying my nervous system
necessary to keep me from going down the rabbit hole

I'm tired of wearing Alice’s armor
And the caterpillar’s smoke is making my lungs seize up and throat swell
I refuse to accept the fact that I am steadily losing control
But I will scream, cry, and break that I am nothing short of terrified.

When I woke up this morning
I told myself that I will be fine
And I ignored all the warning signs
And I fell

Fell

F e l l.
Millie Jul 16
Tick tick tick
The time bomb no one saw coming
Except me
And I watched helplessly
Emotion so far from me
As it all went down
The Lioness Jun 27
I'm broken and shattered.
You are broken and shattered.
My instincts want to make you whole.
Let me hold you.
Because in my arms we can be whole.
I feel you cry,
You shudder.
Let me hold you,
So we can be whole together.
Tears run down my cheeks.
My throat it knots.
The things I've seen,
The things I've felt.
Why must we be broken?
JonahAlonso Jun 9
To mingle and live
With love so close and just out of reach
To connect and to touch
With someones out of minds
My body so alive without me
My mind so alive without my body
JonahAlonso Jun 9
The disconnect is sometimes too much to bear,
I find myself wondering if it's a change required in me or in my surroundings,
How I would love to let go,
Without ruining me or something else
Yvonne Nice Apr 15
If it wasn't for my smile, would you think i'm ecstatic?
If it wasn't for my tears, would you think i'm miserable?
If it wasn't for my fists, would you think i'm furious?
If it wasn't for my scars, would you think I needed help?

Do I wear a smile too often?
Do I hide my tears in my pillows too much?
Do I keep my bloodied knuckles hidden under my glove too much?
Should I even show you the knife I use on myself?

Why am I like this?
What purpose do I serve?
Am I even important?
I doubt it

I’ll just hide
I’ll hide it all
I’ll keep it away
From all of you

Don’t try to help
I don’t deserve it
"For the only fool in life is the one who wrote this." - the author
Yvonne Nice Apr 15
Can I really control the pain?
The anger?
The sadness?

Sometimes, I think about how easy it would be to die
Right here, right now.
A rope, a razor, a knife, maybe even a gun if i’m lucky
Hell, I could probably find at least 10 ways to try to **** myself in this room

I see my depressed and drugged up friends and their scars
Their wounds from battles they lost
I guess the pills weren’t enough to stop the urge
I mean, what sane person doesn't want to die?

Test after test confirms my suspicions
My dread rising in my throat, like bile
I can’t hide it from myself anymore, it’s useless
I’ll hide it from others though, they cant see my pain

The fresh cuts seeping blood
My skin stinging and sore
My eyes, void of any more tears
Why don’t I just die already

My mask fools them
Sometimes I even fool myself, until I dig deep enough
I idiotically keep trying to hide the pain
Why do I even try

I’m tired, but I can’t sleep
I’m hungry, but I won’t let myself eat
I want to cut, so I let the blood flow
What the **** is wrong with me


Ì̶̛̮̘͖̦͚͇̉͑̿̂̈̔̈͊̐͊̚͘͝ ̸̢̢͈̦̞̱͓̯̼̗̘̗̯̯̼̓͌̀̊̈́̏̾̕͝d̶̛̺̞͇̭̤̫̈́̃̋̄̑̈́̆̕͠ợ̵̬͈̘̜̹̙̞͋̌̏̍̇͌͑̿̓͌͜­̲͉̯̞ṇ̵̨̢͇͇̪̣̖̼̯͈̰̈́̔̽́̈́̽͋̈̋̔̊̅̈́̅'̶̢̢̹̝̖̠̲̥͔͕͓̣̌̏̃͋̑̈́̌̄͂t̸̓̅̄͋̃͆͐̿­̡͈̮͚͇͔̳̐͜ͅ ̶̯̒̈́͐̔͒͑u̸̡̺̼̖͙͍̜̘̟̫̥͑̿́̏̉͐́̔͂̾͂͂̀̉n̵̹̟̖̰͔̜̼̖̥͒ͅd̷̨̠̙̹̤̼̥̫͓͓͛͠e̵͘­̦̻̥̣̤̠̱̥͖́̏̅̈̅̀͊͑̐́̽͛̚͜r̷̩̥̗͉͈̫̙̪͚̓͌̌̅̃̃̌͐̏̈͌́̅̃͜ͅs̷̙̻̝͌̔͐̿͐t̶̑̿͝­̛̫̈́̇̔̑̇͋̌̐͛͜a̶̫͚̲͛̊͆͆̃͗̇̈́ń̶̢̨̩̝̖̹͙͔̦̹̞̗̫͂͛̃͂́d̵͖͎̽̋́͑̈́̐̈̅̓̀͗̈́̾̕͝­̡̢͕̦͚͚̪̹̲
̶̳͚̫̣̲̱̦͚͖̓̿̐̒̕͜͝ͅ
̸͚̳̝̮͍͉͒̍̉͌̃͋̿̚İ̶̪̀̓͒͋̓͐͊͛̀̕͝ ̷̘̼̰̱̦̣͓͖̙̪̳͕̬͊́̒̅̒̕c̴̞̹͚̰͙̘͍̬̦̋͆̀̏̽́ȃ̴̛͉̯͇̬͇͈̱̳̺͈͇́̇̒̊͊̾̓̿̆̈́͜͝͝­n̸̡̨̬͉̣͚͓̱̜̺̙̠͎̈́̈́̌͛ͅ'̸̡̛̩̰̠͖̖̏́͂̈́̇́̋̅̇̑͘͘͜͝t̸̢͈͎̯̪̻̰̲̦̯̄̾̏ ̴̧̢̛̻̼̰̯̳̙̻̘͇͇̥̌͒̈́͘b̴̨̡̼̰̙̲͎̞̫̲̈́̍͑͊̓̕͝ͅr̵̡̲̺̖͕͙̘͉̦̥̜̒ͅi̴̡͈̮̺̤̦͂n̸­͇̫̟̞̞̲̻͕̻̺̬̜̱̾̌́̒̌̓̂͝ͅͅg̵̝̙̝̹̐ ̵̥̱̣͎͓̑̉̇̿̅͒͝ͅm̶̡̡̠̖̼̋̀̒̽̎̄̕͝y̷̧͍̻̗̦̱̭̺̣̫̟͔̦̱̬͒̈́̉̀͒͗̽̽͑̌͝ŝ̸̾̉͌̈́̕­̖͙̺̯̞̘̜͉͚͈̃̎ͅḙ̴̢͍̝̖̯͍̤̗̞̼́̏̉̈̓̀̓̋̀͊͝l̶̠͚̙̳̬̼̑̎̉͑̈́͐̀̾͌̑̓͆̚͜f̸́̾͛̓­̠̹̊͂̂̓̿ ̴͈̈̑͋̅͗̽̿̋͋̈́̚t̵̨̨̜͓͖̪̲̣̺̠̓ͅô̵̧͚̯̲͇̫̤̤̻̖̲͚̬̩̎͆̌̍̑̀̒̈́̾̔̑́̋͘ ̵̢̨̻͍̣̮̹͍̜̥̮̫̱̫͈̇̌̀͂̃̓̿̌̓̾̋͝͠͝ḓ̷̤̟̗͎͓̩̫̝͇̲̜̼͗̓̊̊̈̉̕ỏ̷͙͖̣̒͒́̓̏̇̓­̡̩ ̷̨̛͕̞̱͇̹̭̫͈͎͍͎̮̝͙̇̾̈́͐͆̿́̑̔̏͝͠ḯ̶̢͉͖̰̘̯̦̹͙̱̫̦̳̻̾̾̈́͌̔̂͌̽ͅṫ̴͌͑́͆̒̌͘­̥̽͊́̏͑̕
̷̟̼̱̊͑̋͆̾̑͛̈̏̒̊͜͜͝ͅͅ
̷̢̛̜̥̤̣̼̰̣͇͊̇̊̆̀̆̿̅͐͐ͅÌ̷̏̀͌̿̒̓́́̽͂̈́­͖̠̹͚̭̜͍̳̍ͅ ̶͖̗͋̔̿̅̍̚ĉ̸̡͚̜̳̫̮̮͎̖͈́̿͜ͅa̷̼̲͆̋̈͋̂̀̍́̈̅̀̄̚͠͝n̷͕̝͎̩͋́͂̈́̆̄͠'̷̦̋̆̽̄­͍͜t̶̛̛̤̯̮͈̬̬͙̪̹͓͊́̊͂̔ ̸̘̯̺̃͊̇́̅͌̽͜͝͠͝ḳ̴̨̻̖̟̻̠̺̟͎͙̼̃̔́̋̂̌̀̈́̿̕͝i̷̧̳̗͖͔̫͎͉̩̣̐́͜l̶̛̓̅̉̀̂͑͝­͉͈͌̌̀̈̆̉ļ̴̻̩͙̩̬̱͓̦̰͈͗̃̇̃͗ͅ ̵̧̡̧̤̟͔̲͕̘̜̤̹̥͓̃̈́̑̄̈́̍̍̀͆̐m̵̧̧͖̰̺͈̙͓̹͔͉̩̊̈́̊̌̿̃͒̆y̸̘̭͗̈͐͐̾͌͒͗̕s̷͒͒̚­̢̳̪̳̖͗̒̎̇̎́̎̔̀̍͝ͅę̶̛̗͈͇̜̫̗͔̟͂̇̑̋̑̀̀̏̔́̍͊͜͝ͅl̵̡̡͙̹̤͚̹̖͓̳͐͆̈́̾͊̒͋͠f­̸̯̘͂͊̕͝͠
Please
W̴̢̛̟͇̪̼̳̪͙̫̥͈̹͂̎͋̓h̷̜̹͕̞̺̐͌y̶̨̧̡̛̘̱͕̬̺̙̅͒͊̐͜ ̸̱̘͖͔̲̞͓̆͋̉̎͠c̷̡͇͚̻͎͉͔͖̲̕à̶̡͗͌̓͐̉́͂̏͊̉̄̊͝n̴̜̼̺̯͓̜̺̎͜'̷̥̬̣̝̣̎͗͛̏̉­̪̬̭̳̼̫͜ͅt̸̯̣̖̰̣̜̭̪̪̺͔̀̎̂͗̄͛̓̓̍̏̈̊̇̿͝ ̷̯͓̘̟̻̈́̈́̑͗̄̏̿̄̎̆͘I̵̢̧͓̥̖̻̥̦̳̝̙̱͚͎̺̓͝ ̸̘̰̎̉́̃͆̎̊̈̐͘̕j̵̪̜̾͂̀̏͊̃͒̒̌͠ú̸̖̭̱͈̩͚̘̯͂̀̽̃̊̈̑̾̋̉͜͝ṣ̷̛͋t̴̢͓̭̪̂͂͂­͖̺̮̬̫ ̵̤̣̋̐͒͘͜d̶͙͔̐̈́̐̊̾͗̉̀͝i̵̥̝̐͆̉̉͐͠é̶̜̂̇̂͆͆̇̈́̾͂̐̔͐̀͠
We only last as long as the winds of time allow for us, with nothing to spare.
india Apr 5
the bugs crawling, decorticating my skin,
my thorny spine trying to escape
as my mind starts sinking,
making me aware of every part of my body
the attentive audience of all i perceive to be staring at me
                                            Deserted
i thought, maybe isolation would get the better of me
as ever inch of my soul leaves my autonomy
                                           Floating
in a state of fear, but yet bliss
i see vivid colours melt in the sky
                                         Deteriorating
but i am away from all the fear,
i am away from my self
as soon as i venture back,
                                        Falling
i am scared once again
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