This was too much to carry
I am letting it go It was always too heavy I've decided to float
Life can be too much to bear
The weight of the world starts to wear I am floating away Drifting for another day My mind - a distant land A place I can't comprehend It's as if I am watching from afar A stranger to my own memoir The world around me has lost its shape Reality continues to escape Wandering around; lost in a dream Things are never quite as they seem
Each day I sit: numb hands, numb feet
Waiting for the autopilot to take my space So I can fall asleep in the passenger seat And wake up in a different place Or even drift right past tomorrow If I'm his hostage, he's my plague Because the bumpy road he tolerates Always rocks away my aches My body is held by strings And my eyes no longer blink So I stay in the passenger seat And keep choosing not to think
There is a lovely green lotus
unfolding from the center of his eye, as if the iris that looks upon my desperate body is the darkened water from which it sprouts...
c r a w l i n g nerveless fog lifts. tingling fingers gut drop (you have one of those now) look up, knife to chest the seasons passed without you. and just like that you can mourn the end of love.
too bad it took you a year
i'm feeling it
the drift a wedge i'm draining no one hears it, an empty void pure desolate silence i don't want to stay “nobody cares” so why should i? the idiosyncratic facade fazing everyone compressing everything within yet i feel so hollow
I've become so convincing in the role of myself,
I'm starting to believe it's actually me.
This is not my skin
I will not, can not fit in suited for some other guy Left here to wonder why Why the hand-me-downs a shortage of cosmic gowns too many orders in my size a flood seeking my prize To find which is my skin have what’s out match within a fit made perfect right no pinching not too tight chafing ended the tightrope walker’s life scratched hope for feeling something without ends in a flight of doubt I am sure this is not my skin they tell me doubt’s a sin well king of sinners am I watch my eternal life die ever wonder where I belong on which fork turned wrong where direction unravelled took a path well-travelled By those in others’ skin outside differs from within wearing the suit of some guy merchandise we did not buy stand here middle of the road burdened by my heavy load left here to wonder why my eye cannot find I Aye, this is not my skin a shell I try to fit in like a hermit crab’s shell my personal little hell flames fan desire to know where did my true self go for surely there is another my misplaced other who also feels within “this is not my skin” I wonder how, wonder why I cannot trade with that guy Left here to wonder why suited for some other guy I will not, can not fit in this is not my skin. ~ NM 01/06/21