there's a cold frosted window against your hands, you let your breath fan out over the glass and lean your forehead against it, looking at the moon and knowing she's looking too but she's not thinking about you.
there's a place you go to when you can't breathe; it's up on the roof and you lay on the concrete with your arms spread out and stare at the sun just like they always told you not to do.
you wonder too often about blood and what it means when it drips down your arm to the floor, why it reminds you of her eyes when the words would rip out of her throat, and why it smells like her hair in the morning, and why every time it cuts into your skin all you can think of is her nails digging into your arms and the bruises it left behind.
you can't breathe, your hands are shaking and the walls all look the same around here, and there are monsters on the ceiling, monsters with sharp teeth and strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes that remind you of the ocean.
you tried to write and everything was her name, scrawled on your thighs in red ink and running into the water and laced in your screams when the ground met your body.
the white tile floor is cold. the nurses are cold. your arms are cold; you don't have sleeves to pull over your wrists anymore. they give you a phone, say you should call someone. you dial her number and wait as it rings. she never picks up.
she came today. burst through the door with a nothing-ever-happened smile and a daisy, just like she always used to. you still feel the hot outline of her lips on your forehead before you pushed her away and called for a nurse. her brow furrowed but you didn't fall for that look again. you're done falling for her.
why plan the days?
when days aren't considered days
when days are too much,
count the weeks.
a slower paced and a
weekends are my favorite
I thought about you.
The next day,
I iust can't stop.
The day after that,
you haunt my dreams.
A week later,
My are around your lifeless body.
A week after that,
I found a new one,
And turned you to ashes.
Time is what we want most
We all need it
But time never waits
Time never stops
Time is now
We’ve had promises broken
Words left unspoken
Tears on our cheeks
It still surprised me when you left me.
Call me a ****,
Call my phone,
You hear a dial tone.
You treat me like a taxi driver.
He truly is everything that I have loved
And as days turn to weeks
And weeks into months
Time is running shorter and shorter
I'm not ready to be alone again
I need you
One more month till i'm out there on my own.
Wrapped to our wrist
Pinned on our walls
Dawn till dusk
Time is always present
Before we were born and after we die
It’s measured by memories, effort, split second decisions
It’s of the essence
Apparent to its incapable yearning to stop
It flies by.
Days we spent angry
Hours dreading our jobs
Regrets and what could haves
We’ll never get it back or be there like we once were
I could say enjoy today and take everyday one step at a time
Or I could be righteous to the ever longing tick
Why should I
With the time I took to write this is now gone
I’ll be tired once morning comes
But I did what I wanted to with my time
Choose your time wisely
Because forever is unkind
It’s something I think about often,
Do we fully understand the fragility of this life we possess?
And suddenly a loved one is taken …it inflames you to think.
Every consciousness is a precious and fragile gift.
These lives of ours are fleeting, gone in a minute.
When you suddenly understand this, everything fades into the background.
Pushing 70 now… I choose to soar out of bed joyfully rejoicing each morning,
That life has granted me another day above the dirt.
Life is strong and weak…it’s a paradox.
Keep your mind strong my friends, don’t hide behind your fears.
This life of yours is an amazing gift….live it with a smile!
I often think about my ancestry. In my living room hangs a picture of my Great Grandfather Isaac. And each time I walk past it I tell him how much I love him. I look forward to meeting him one day. But until then I refuse to let my death consume me and I hope you don't either.