I'm not a sheep amongst the flock but a wolf amongst the sheep
Not a carcass left to rot but the butcher slicing meat
Because someone gotta survive, and its gonna be me
You can pull the wool over my eyes but you'll end up losing sleep

See you can lie to my face but i can sniff out the truth
Not everybody's buying *******, we are wiser than our youth
I may have a young face but my soul is in pursuit
Of old age, divine space, that's ruthlessness for you

See my stamina is boundless and i have that pack mentality
I can toggle between the two, loyalty or reality
You can make all these promises, but you cant promise me
That you're not another poser because you reek of it to me

Imma howl at the stars just to keep you awake
Outside growling at your window just to drive you insane
Because you messed with a wolf and thats a fatal mistake
Now I'm putting pen to paper just to put you in your place

You, dont know what you're in for
You, aren't getting away
You, are already falling
And now, in your head, I'm here to stay

You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You dont know what you're in for, and now you're going crazy

The possibilities are endless like the power of Infinity
You stop dead in your tracks like you just had an epiphany
You can't lose the trail when i **** my head, listening
Your voice trembles with fear and I'm feasting on the signaling

Your muscles race with adrenaline, a system overdrive
To face what you can't see admist the shadows of the night
All your senses quickening, preparing for the fight
Because you're in the corner now and there's nowhere left to hide

Hands shake, an earthquake, i hear the drumming of your heart
Jesus Christ, any faster and it could tear you apart
An explosion from the inside, you glow in the dark
From the heat that you expel like the embers of a dart

Eyes wide, pupils large you know this is your fate
Wishing you could go back but you know that it's too late
You meddled with a wolf and now you're filled with doubt
Things are getting serious: head down, claws out

You, don't know what you're in for
You, aren't getting away
You, are already falling
Check under your bed because the monster's here to stay

There's so much left to do,
And so little time,
With nothing left to lose
It's time to set things right

You can't play, Chinese Whispers
With me, because, I hear everything

You, don't know what you're in for...

You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
I've got so much in store, enough to drive you crazy

You, me, crazy
You, look, wasted
You, me, insanity
You don't know what you're in for, and now you're going crazy

People are literally dying every single day
But only the celebrities manage to make the front page
A higher level of honour because they gotta lotta dollar
What about the people hard pressed showing signs of survival?

You dont hear the stories of people rotting away
Inside a straight jacket of "normal" human flaws, they say
You dont feel the pain of banging heads going down corridors
You dont see the stress of death clutching your heart to his chest like pause...

Consider whats wrong
How suicide rates escalate since before I was born there's something
In the air, a blank stare or soulful eyes
Begging with each blink that you might hear their silent cries they deny!

Their own existence is not as important as yours
So stop and think a second time before they hit the floor
With gunshots at 50, and with depression about 90,
The percent of people dead per annum, they dont need this **** i highly

Doubt you gave a ****, doubt you wished them luck
Doubt you'd be the mechanic to fix this faulty truck
Just a little more, all the times you saw
Those eyes pierce the night from under those black nightly hoods

Therein is chaos in mechanics, robotics, electronics,
And that's what y'all have become, bystander demonics
Every day is the same to you, every try is lies to truth
Nobody seems to realise there's help needed for our ******* youth!

Turn to drugs to have some fun, cant feel the pain when you're feeling numb
Chemicals to help uphold the happiness you had when you were young
Alcohol to help absolve
The sins of past remain unsolved
But thats okay when every day you forget the reason you were born!

Blades to skin to drown the pain
The blood we washed won't truly stain
Every mark will always change
Every scar will stay the same

Every day is all in vain
All the anger we locked away
In the hopes that it would fly away and fade as fast as the light of day!

Blog our thoughts to keep us sane!
This stabs our mind, steel to brain!
A monster crying out for aid
BUT ALL YOU DID WAS NEVER CHANGE!

So you walk along the sidewalk
You dont see, them swinging
They felt they never had a choice
You never cared, when they lost their voice...

The very air I breathe is like poison to my system
Toxins in my veins, bravado slain, it's mischief
Wondering what's going on in my spectacular life
From the flames of a lighter to nomadic trips in the night

I'm a lost soul, a lone cause, I said that wrong
Just like everything else, bad lyrics to sad songs
I'm told to talk more, and told to talk less
A double standard board walk, a wooden plank into the depths

Coz we're all just fish food for ferocity, humanity
And if anything killed the cat it's curiosity, hilarity
Satisfaction: zero, this ain't the time to play hero
More or less to defend the rest and pass the test with a blue-coloured Biro

Pen to paper, ink the saviour, Jack be nimble; quick
Trying to do the right thing is worse than jumping candlesticks
I know I seem quite confident, give me the world I'll handle it
But you have to realise I'm only human with nightmares too imaginative

Just colouring in white pages to fill blank spaces
Is this just one for me or for the ages?
Because you can find a reason to smile in creation
But more reason to grin and laugh in the path to destruction

My life is meaningless right now, no doubt
It's dragging me along for the ride and I want out
Being a gentleman and acting with sincerity
Is laughed at from the sidelines, open eyes for clarity

Open jaw too, wide open I'm feeling crook
Like every inch of my soul was spilling blood onto books
And etching it's story there for everyone to see how stupid
The arrows shot from the bow of the cruel Cupid

It's ruthless, and he's shot me many times
I'm always checking my back scared because he's worked into my mind
It's not fine, draw the line to check the time
I'm here for the wrong reasons but all those reasons are mine

Second hand shop selling the single biggest ******
Thinking he's so smooth like dude you blind and can't see far
Use and abuse is what the bruises be telling me
And my heart aches, an earthquake seething with jealousy

You see me through a telescope with a double standard lens
Saying the only way you see us is merely as good friends
And that's fine but why do you have to play me like this
Twice now, no doubt you playin it's not nice miss!

Jesus Christ I'm faithless and playing tracks from the same list
The cold calculated sad songs preaching death wishes
You said it takes a while to make it to that, miss
But the first chance you get you're with my best friend, like **** me I'm being replaced quick!

You don't seem to quite grasp how much that fucken hurts
And the worst part of it is if you didn't tell me it'd be worse
Just drive me to my grave so I can rest in peace in that hearse
It goes by a cliff? **** it, chuck it in reverse

You like to talk big when you got barrels of luck,
But the moment you’re in a cop shop your trap is stuck
So here I stand, I stand in front of you, this been a long time coming
If the effect we have is a marathon I spent a long time running

Ever since year 9 when you bullied me for my teeth
But now that I got braces you got nothing against me
All you can do is show off, calling “******”
When you ain’t with your mates where’s your confidence, maggot?

I’ve had it; up to here and this is all that’s left
The better man won in terms of intention, life’s a test
And it breath tested you and decided you’re *******
Because you picked on the wrong guy and there’s nothing left to prove

So step up or step off, confess to sin
You may as well because I remember everything!
Something you gotta know is to know your enemy
You don’t know what I’m capable of, or what I got happening

So you never even bothered to think of a strategy
You got caught, you lost, it’s going down rapidly
And it’s only a matter of time before they get you in for life
Because there’s pleasure in the knife but nowhere left to hide

Send your boys after me, they’ll end up with you
It would be an understatement to say this is rude
I hate this entire thing, I did this because you tried
To pressure me into letting him off, and now you lied

Just to save your *** but witness statements
Are the one thing to condemn the case, admit defeat just face it
With you and all your “violence” and I barely lifted a finger
Funny how safety works, hopefully this lesson lingers

And here I am just chillin alone, so cold to the bone more frozen than Frozone
Hypothermia, doctor doctor
Got places to be can't you fix me up faster

This avalanche is ever-lasting
Pass the parcel the pain aint past it
Waiting on a whim is it really worth it
Honour and duty but so close to deserting

Flee and be free of fear containment
Constricted and closed off, self-enslavement
Harden up and be tough, roadworks and pavement
Detour and derail to prevent persuasion

Tactical retreat the feet beats down
Live to fight another day or be six feet under ground
The silent treatment is a healing sound
But the heart beats cleanly too lost to be found

No map could make or break this problem
I got a little lost now I'm tryna solve it
Never used the stars to guide my path
But if i have no faith I'm ****** to die fast

My hands shake and thoughts clash
I revise life, like flashbacks
I won't last living in my past
Pull back, snapping leash he attacks

The scent is strong he's on the prowl
A predator of beings foul
Revenge dished he's hellbound
Took a vow as hellhound

His loyalty holds no borders
He's borderline disobeying orders
He's ordered but he ignores
Okami, a lone wolf

In midnight his eyes shine
Blood red it contains skies
He's hunting down a worthy prize
Defending honour he can't die

Vengeance and fuelled rage
Powerful and untamed
For too long he's been caged
He suffered so, debts be repaid

With head high and hackles raised
He's raising hell, his endgame
All cards held have been played
Run and hide, its too late

The demonic doubts demand demolition as
Corruption cries to conscious construction
Like a magician with tricks up his sleeves
The Art of Illusion, to trick and deceive

When it comes to masks the masquerade wont last
The cracks of time pushing future, past
And presently resembling the arch-nemesis assembly
The crafting of crows to call back serenity

With harshened voices, hoarse from hearing
With blacked out eyes and sores still bleeding
The information stream no longer receiving
Dull and numb they succumb unfeeling

Death, destruction and ****** demise
Shuffling heads down and lowered eyes
To touch the spawn is to provoke what lies
Further than six feet under buried heights

To fall so soon is to embrace your doom
We all have clocks that cluck their tunes
A cuckoo clock that counts down too
Moments from eternal midnight you bloom

A lunar flower, lunaticus spores
You feel the rush from opened pores
The fear irrational yet perpetuates your heartbeat
The hands line up and the springs they squeak

Laying down and without a sound
The judgement of time, a crown renouned
A wooden box to return to Earth
What Earth condemned to live and learn

You'll catch me by the sidewalk sitting down and rocking
Majority of people look down but keep on walking
They don't understand the pain like electric shocks to the brain
That make you forget your name, what you stand for seems insane

Where chaos reigns and the brave die, it's easy to get lost
Pulled into a vacuum so abyssal the will to live is forgot
Where the blood is Paracetamol, where it hurts like it's physical
Numb like a vegetable yet hungry like a cannibal

Starving where food is plentiful
Dehydrated when you're forgetful
You know you're mental
And it's as smooth as Butter Menthol

Attached to your bed like it's the only safe haven
Wondering if like a ruin, you're broken and breaking
When vultures circle up high and your eyes are gouged by ravens
The dark thick ooze makes you realise... you need saving

They say when tough times come your way you gotta push harder
Be stronger
Move faster to live longer
But sometimes the fight itself, it just ain't worth fighting
And you gotta let it take you, kicking and biting
And when that same time comes around again, you give it your all
Build yourself back up where before you let yourself fall
Because
What it does
The pain isn't enough
But the success is two times greater when you pick yourself up

Satisfaction from hard work, blood and sweat on my hands
Put it in to position maybe you can understand
That although it tears and hurts to distance myself
During this time we can rebuild, helping ourselves

And you know who you are I don't need to say it
If your emotions were a game, then I swear I played it
And the whole situation ***** because I knew all along
But I gotta push past it, move faster just to stay strong

So I aint getting hooked, I'm just letting you know
It ain't solely one's fault but each to their own
But I guess that's okay, I'll build myself up again
See you when I'm done here,
Sincerely, Tigris

Times get tougher as life goes
And where the bar is set nobody knows
Anger, sadness and happiness so strong
Doubt and jealousy, legacies of right and wrong

Moral compass points us north or points us south
Doesn't always seem to dictate all our thoughts, that come from mouth
It's at crossroads of choices made
Where the needle flickers in any which way

And I'm angry, so ****** and I
Know how to deal with it but
Kick starting a practice, when old habits won't fall...
It's a struggle itself but I'll give my all

Three weeks since **** went down and I'm not the same
I jump at the sound of familiar voices calling my name
I don't want them to know, what I've become
A monster of a human, werewolf on the run

How many thoughts cross my mind?
And how many so dangerous I'd like to leave them behind
Actions from reactions sure, but I've wanted to ******
And my blood through my veins it runs so cold....

A permafrost in motion, an avalanche of ache
And a heart so emotional, like the ****** burning at the stake
To voice the unvoiced is a choice that exposes me
And I'd rather keep on hiding underneath

And I'm so ****** so ******* angry
Too strong now what is happening?
I've never before been so cold
And the shadows lurk across my soul,
Like horror stories untold

And it all unfolds....
There lies no happy ever after,
Only satisfied
With avoiding most of the disaster
And just survive

There was a kid, he sat by himself
In classes he never spoke nor asked for help
He'd sit up the front, all quiet and calm
He never once did anything to hurt anyone

He just did his work, only spoke when spoken to
I'd see him alone in the courtyard, he never ate his food
Recess or lunch would swing by, he'd listen to music
And every day I saw him there so I got used to it

Then come one Lunch, he wasn't there
I pretended not to care but deep down I was scared
Because in the lesson before some kids were talking tall
About how they'd sort him out by setting him up to fall

And by God I was shaking, I was fucken nervous
He was just a quiet guy you don't need to hurt him
He never did wrong he was just around
I jumped when I heard him scream by Christ it was loud!

I ran into the amphitheatre and all the kids were screaming
He was mangled on the ground and **** was he bleeding
He looks across with fading eyes, says "help please"
I had to look away as I fell to my knees

He's looking hopefully
He's looking up to me
I look up at the shocked faces like
"You ******* happy? Answer me!
How the **** was I so blind to not see this happening?
All you ever spoke about was hurting him and killing me!

Now the tides have turned! You ******* killed him
You better run now before the darkness hunts down your sin!"
I look down again, he has a smile of hope
"Thank you for holding up the Bro Code"

Then his hand falls, it lays on his chest
And I'm not sure who's more dead, coz I got no breath
The sirens scream as loud as the kids fleeing
And all I remember was six shots and fucken running

My brother on the ground, burned into my mind
And it haunts me to this day that I left him behind
But I gottem back, made them join him
So he can get em back and start bashing

The things that I’ve been told,
And all the lies that spread
The rumours I watch unfold
Let torture claim my head

To open who I am
A lock that gleams so cold
To end where I began
To sell before I’m sold

A tragedy unfolds
Not all that gleams is gold
My actions deemed as bold
My habits have grown old

Tiring of this life
Aged before my time
I wish to say goodbye
Unlock a deep bloodline

The dark drowns the light
And the light no longer shines
The key, it gleams so bright
And now I bid goodbye

Everything I do just seems so wrong
Out of place, and I can't face, that I don't belong
I know we're all different, but I am different still
Every battle I've ever fought, I always fought uphill...

Another nobody in training to belong, to become
And maybe someday, I'll mean something to someone
Recognition for the things that I wish I hadn't done
And I'm done....
Nothing was ever perfect, and so nothing I've become

Nothing was ever perfect, and now I am No-One

If we could wish ourselves away,
How many stars would be left to shine,
And how many would fade?

Hands turning white, clasped in prayer
Eyes closed tears flow where's her saviour?

Got a bad case of Old Mans Blues
Too young to feel like this, but what's my use?
Pining for a love that will never be mine,
And you wonder why I lie when you ask are you alright?
I'm not alright! I'm not fine! Why do I answer when I'm always lying!
Death defying but don't feel alive! Like something deep down has given up the fight!

I wanna scream! Just let me end
I wish to not exist, no point in pretence
Nothing is okay, everything's just the same
I wish I could fade so that no one, no one knows my name...

Let's burn it all, I'll ignite the fire
Just watch the smoke rise, higher and higher
Suffocate on the these toxic fumes
Skin bubbles and blisters, strained under abuse

It's almost time, can you feel it now?
The monster inside has finally devoured
Licks his lips and gnaws the bones...
Why am I always so cold, and so alone...?

Imagine we could wish ourselves away...
How many stars would be left to shine
And how many like me, would fade away....

I am the man I am today,
From all the experience I've gained
The lies I made, the cards I played
Watch it all burn around an Ace of Spades

And as I fumble with the match,
My life like flashbacks flashes past
The days I cried, the days I died
Clawing, tearing my insides

I, know that I can't run and hide,
Knowing that, even if i tried
Nothing will be better when I take a peek
Because it's all uncertain, and all left to me

And I, am not satisfied
With the anger we feel and the rage we defy
Why, is it so hard to see
That we're caught in a landslide, an avalanche of debris

Some days, I lay on the ground
And stretch my hands up without making a sound
Reach for the sky, but there's no prize
All hope is lost and I've lost all my pride

Insane, is the only way
That normality fades, and only you change
You've got more control, as we rise and we fall
Being crazy is the only way to stay sane...

I, know that I can't run and hide,
Knowing that, even if i tried
Nothing will be better when I take a peek
Because it's all uncertain, and all left to me

And I, am not satisfied
With the anger we feel and the rage we defy
Why, is it so hard to see
That we're caught in a landslide, an avalanche of debris

The rise and the fall
Of the rose petals in a storm
Left to defend with only thorns
And already more than halfway gone

The scent carries on the wind
Of this Rose, I'm guardian
Guarding what is left
Of a beauty left in the past...

Because although they say true beauty never dies
A rose wasn't built to last

They ask me about my poetry
Done with ease
So easily
Like stars align; astrology
Coded into chemistry
It's basically
Biology
Like a limb;
A part of me
Crackling with energy
Electrical and synergy
Working together like a team
My heart and mind combined
To find that sign, in time
Make poetry!

It felt wrong to have attention when all i wanted was space
It felt wrong to look in the mirror
And see my hated face

To know the thoughts that lie behind
To hate, to love to waste my time
There was no meaning and so i cried
Because why the **** am i still alive?

Judgement is offered without being asked for,
Just remember that.
Vyscern

To be a good judge of character
You gotta see further than the books front cover
You have to look deeper, must find meaning
Between the pages and the paragraphs and what it is you're seeing

Know that every page number is another day on scene
Know that pages are stained from the blood we bleed
Know that pages crumple with the words unspoken
And know each new chapter is a lifetime token

Some may label "money", "corruption", "greed"
But know you can help swiftly as Godspeed
They opened up to you and it's up to you to see
That crazy times make people do crazy things

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

She opened up to me, for strangers advice
Is easier to get than from others in your life
There's no fear of judgement, disappointment, or people
Who like to spill secrets that are too dark and evil

I looked in the mirror and it became see-through
Not a reflection of myself just Myself Mark 2
It's funny how that works, the lies we pursue
The hope that something worse will surely make a better you

Know that the engravings on each book spine
Is a scar from the past, another mark in time
As you run your fingers you ask "where is the beauty?"
If you look past the cover you may finally see

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I can't tell you how to run your life
But I tell you it's dangerous to run with knives
Maybe you don't care because pains the prize
Trust me, it's a trap that'll **** you as you fly

Icarus himself fell from the clouds
And plummeted to the ocean, an arrow straight down
I will help you surely as Jesus Christ
Has been told from three days to come back to life

So I may die, but that's okay
With wax wings I flew too high anyway
The pain is a trap that'll **** you as you fly
And I'm not ready to ready another goodbye

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I will hold out for you
Talk to me, make me see
Convince me that its true
That it's not worth helping you

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

McKayla Rose, Tribute to her Love

(I helped)

"When I first looked into your eyes,
Each breath became a thousand sighs,
The air was filled with love bird cries,
That was the day I realized,

How much you truly mean to me,
Chemistry, our synergy
I want the world to finally see...
...How we love, in unity

Since I met you,
I have learned to love the light
You were my lamp in stormy darkness
The day that breaks the night

You showed me a mirror
And inside I saw glimmer
A small shard of hope
That with love began to grow...

...Now I want the world to know,
How I feel and and see where we go, Love swirling around like the blowing snow
Don't say a word just hold me close

And as the day turns into night,
Being in your arms just feels so right, The world is dark but our future is bright
But that's only for us to decide

But a small shift in the earth
Can cause unforseen circumstances
So deviating from what you should do,
My friend,
Will make your future uncertain

Think about the risk you run
Before you run for the reward

Impatience is the impairment of patience
Where it is imperative, should be noted
That the implication of impatience
Is the lack of it thereof,
That is, patience
And not having the time to
Improve upon waiting

It's not necessarily a bad thing
Sometimes it's best to rip the bandaid quickly

There is a key
To an abyss of thoughts
So irrelevant, so minute
It surprises me what I remember
When the gate to these thoughts
Is opened

And is the reason why I'm still awake
Two hours after going to bed

Isn't it strange how strangers
Aren't at all strange
And "friends" and "family" are the ones
Providing you with the dangers?

One thing I know is that we're captured in the frames
Of dead and dying pictures when suppression was a name
Ever since that day, nothings' been the same
When our dead and dying frames were laid to rest in graves

The company we kept,
Aware of beast that slept
The loyalty we paid to earn
Via trust, it was a test

Concepts of romance
Led us an exhausting dance
With lust untamed, demons unnamed
With each rattling breath we exhaled
And the graves still look the same

Here lies dignity,
My memories, my sanity
Self-esteem and vanity
Ripped apart antiquity
And after all this, finally
Accepted into society!

A crutch, a walking stick
Use and abuse so sick of it
There for you when you can't move
Support your weight when you lose

But let me burn when you're cured
So ******* from all us tortured
Swinging in chains, bonded by pain
A snakes skin is all that changes

The venom still gleams crystal clear

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your hopeless desires

I'll just take a seat right here
Blindfold off its so **** clear
This cinema rolls the same tape
But it's hilarious to see your face

The devil on the big screen
You wanted attention, now act your scene
A snakes skin is all that changes
But your method never rearranges

The venom drips, so crystal clear...

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your faith has retired

Once again, called you out
It's hard to swim when drowning in doubt
I know, that riptide was far too strong
But in seeking help, I never did wrong

And your life is crumbling, as the venom drips

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your hopeless desires

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your faith! Is!
Retired....

Claw marks down the wall,
Lined with red
Music keeps me alive
But drives me insane

The universe within us;
The light of a million suns explodes
Throughout my head,
And solely from physical contact

As I reminisce over you
I lick my dry and cracked lips
Your poison, so sweet
Sharp and pointed fingertips

Mixed and lonely
I'm caged by my own thoughts
Your scars, so perfect
Struggling I've fought

Love is just a masquerade for pain
My beauty hides a beast that has yet to be tamed
But I want you, need you, I'm so lonely
And my desires remain unnamed

My scars are raised in purple
Because I loved the pain
Ever since I met you
It hasn't been the same

Kiss the desolation,
Remove the isolation
Cleanse me of my sins
To yours, let me in

From prison to prison
Though yours seems like heaven
Take me, all of me
Better trapped then dead
Better trapped then dead
Better trapped then dead

Everything just passes me by
People, hope and opportunity, no matter how I try
The focus of my life is not to focus on the past
And it all goes by so fast

I'm stuck here in my room, on my bed
Reminiscing over things, trapped inside my head
Like this is where I'm at now, no doubt
I've got so much more to do

Way too much to lose, way too young to cruise
Should be getting out more often but I don't wanna bruise
The backlash of my actions, intended or not
Is not something that I've forgot

Not something I can forget
Because I'm not done just yet
I got things to do, much to lose
Now is not the time for me to cruise

It's a shame to exist in a world
Where loyalty is currency
That friends only befriend you
For their own ends
That people don't listen
When you say the truth time and again
That they accept the lie of "I'm fine"
And it's only when you cry that they give you a piece of their mind
That they're willing to corrupt you with thoughts
And laugh as you clutch your head, screaming, drawing on the walls
And laughing all the more when they set you up to fall
And stand over you, triumphant, when your life is agonising crawl
And when success is nearby and you're happy,
Well then they make you stall
Second guess and doubt yourself
And you listen because you think that no-one else...
No-one else will

Find your true friends
And hold on to them,
Like the diamonds they are

"Smart enough to know the truth,
And smart enough to avoid it.
Flawed are we humans."

Ignorance is bliss they say,
I never found it
When I was being put down
And they were shouting at me like
"You'll never rise up, you're nothing, ain't worth the time"
And it only gave me another excuse to rap and to rhyme
Expressing my feelings just to get it off my chest
While at the same time writing lines simply to be my best, it's a test
And so far I've been passing, they said I can't do it
But watch as I sonic speed right on through it
I'll defeat the Doctor Eggman and chill with my bud Tails
While you sitting in the corner pointing out all my fails
But I don't care, it's behind, another lesson learnt
So that I progress easier and don't be so badly hurt
I like to help others, a saint some would say
A blessing disguised as a kid you see everyday
But keyword is disguised, every man has his demons
They can be so bad that ol' skull-face takes to reapin'
But I haven't fallen yet, I still stand tall
On the hill, helpless just watching it all burn
I know I'm not liked, by many and still don't care
As long as I live happily then I ain't gonna be snared
By the concept that the best must have a good reputation
But solitude for some is the key to salvation
Why would you want to fit in with people that you don't like?
And when they try to conform you, tell em to take a hike

130 followers huh?
Wow, I... don't know how to react.
Take this pitiful thank you and know it's roughly 1/1000th of what I feel

Thank you all

<3     :^)

I don't seem to fit in
"Be yourself" they said
So of course I rebelled.

I tried being the cool kid
Ahaha, what a laugh that was
Try being confident after years of being nervous?
Yeah, it was a bit of a wreck

I tried being silent
But I would always speak out of turn...
It takes great sadness to shut me up
It seems..

I tried being tough
Despite my height,
Nobody believes you if you ain't packing a six-pack

I tried to isolate myself
But my soul longed for company
So much that it began to even annoy me

So eventually I tried being myself
I have lots of "friends", people who only care about my losses but never share my wins.
Some close friends.... at times it feels as though they don't exist
It seems to me that being a "creep", "******" and "stalker"....
Well, they seem to be who I am.
Don't mind me sobbing in the corner

I'm just being myself

For all the times I tried to hide
All the darkness I've defied
And all those times I felt alive
Only to fall down again and die

I know some people refuse to see
The life I lead, the blood I bleed
The reasons I did things that just weren't clean
And when I hid away, just let me be

I don't expect everybody to trust
The passion, the fire, the anger, the lust
The security, loyalty, vision deceives
It's how you perceive, how you see me

And I'm sorry that tonight I said goodbye
But it's better for you, I ain't gonna lie
In every lie there's a kernel of truth
And it shows me that I was never right for you

The word function is in dysfunctional

Sure, but when dysfunctional is disabled

How does one continue to walk?

A collision of energy
Your passion and purity
My will and practicality
Fused and refuse to detach

Now, I just hope it lasts

I just wanna say thank you to those that have supported me
And not left like several others that think my pain is funny
I don't know if I'd be here we're it not for those who care
And my understanding of your kindness is what I wanna share

I looked down on myself and considered myself worthless
For all my little flaws that added up and made me 100% imperfect
And it was you guys that hung around and cheered me up when I was down
The select few capable of creating a smile from my frown

You work your magic with such ease
I guess it's just your expertise
How you did it remains a mystery
And though I search I cannot see

But perhaps it's just meant to be
That happiness is your speciality
And I thank you for your loyalty
And sticking around when I was down on me

I'd like to thank my psychologist
Michelle for being so awesome and
Helping me think about the things
In unique ways, solved differently

And it makes me so happy
To know I helped another by doing my thing
I draw on my arm to distract myself
She recommended it to help someone else

And it worked and it makes me so proud
I said my thoughts out loud
And now I'm feeling better
About the worst that's out to get 'ya

So I thank one and all
For helping me up when I started to fall
For those who stick by my side
And didn't go, run and hide

:^)

I find it hard to open up
When the times I have, I get shut
Told to get over, deal with the pain
But what if I told you that I'm not the same?

There have been times when my heart burned
Because I pined, because I yearned
A lost love that was but my first
Eaten like acid, removed by hearse

Or times when I wake up and feel so empty
Like why am I here, please just forget me
Open your mind and be released
From the torturous memories that are me

Or times when anger flared up inside
And I dared you to try to hide
I wanted to end you for the lies that you told
For all of the ******* you offered, you sold

But don't forget I get depressed too
And I wondered if I really was something you could lose
If I had the worth, if I meant something
I'd hear sad songs and alone I'd sing

And everything hurts ten times more
Then what ever emotions you've had before
So don't put me down and say I ain't strong
When I've been carrying this burden all along....

Care to share,
Dare to bear
The weight of this world
That isn't there?

With all these voices in my head
And all the messages I've sent
All the replies I never get
They say forgive and then forget

Everything I've done has led to regret
And stood me up right on the edge
Feet halfway over the ledge
Wind in my face and what comes next?

A flashback to memories
With violent ends from violent deeds
I see them right before they bleed
And cold shivers run underneath

I've been called both crazy and insane
Like something's wrong inside my brain
To everyone else I'm not the same
I ain't normal, I ain't plain

But then again, I didn't want to be
It's not my fault I cause unease
I don't see what everyone else sees
I see dead men on their feet

Why fight on and be so strong
In a world where I don't belong?
Where everything has gone all wrong
From ongoing wars to the suicide song

I hear white noise when I walk
And whispering when I don't talk
A shadow behind that always stalks
Paranoid, eyes like a hawk

I'm sorry I'm not what you wish I was
But don't hate me just because
I don't meet your expectations
So give up on my resuscitation

*"You cannot revive the dead and ******"

This life is just lost memories, regrets and false hope
Like whatever created us has crafted a sick joke
We're so insecure about our pre-destined flaws that
We either start big arguments that escalate into wars or
Make ourselves feel better by submitting to torture
Like I did, knowing that the pain will always reward ya
Because pain is a gateway to relieving problems when
You got too much and you know it's ****** but you can't solve 'em
And you grow up told not to sin, we do it anyways all night and day now where do I begin, how to stand against the shame?

Hunting animals down for coats or food to extinction
And destroying their environment, fancy word called deforestation
In relentless pursuit of luxury and creating a name
And you wonder why certain beasts will never be tame, it's insane!

Just because we think bigger, grow quicker and have cold hearts
Doesn't give you the right to tear this fucken beautiful world apart
We only had one hope, that's why life's a joke
We progress to be the best but all for no show

The only certainty I know is we evolve to destroy
I mean that's where we're going, that's right, it's no decoy
Ever since we began we transformed to form our end
There's no point to this ****, game over man!

The only reason I'm alive today is because I have this information
As I pace back and forth, typing at the bus station
I know it's all a joke, so I live to laugh at it
I don't take much that seriously, because honestly I've had it

I'm done

As a man where do I stand?
Helping everyone that I can
Though I'm off the edge and I'm still falling
Don't mind me everyone else is important

I'd like to say I still feel hope
Elevators are just a joke
That implies that my ride is smooth
If that's so then explain this bruise

And this cut, and this graze
Depression gives your mind quite the haze
You begin to see, and believe
Even though it's not reality

Smile on the outside but inside your dead
Your soul to the dogs has been fed
Can't find the effort to stay alive
Life's a game of run and hide

But do not jump, it's not fair
Can you feel your friends hearts tear?
How about your family? Your three little sisters?
How can you leave when they least expect it?

So climb back down and I'll catch you
Just say the word and I'm here for you
Doesn't matter where you are
Give me a call 'coz I ain't that far

I look down at the blade
And see the scars that I engraved
A mark that'll forever stay and
Torture me every day...