if it weren’t for my sliding mirror closet doors, my room would look much darker with only one lamp turned out. that’s what i’m thinking about at 12:11am when i can’t sleep and have to work the morning shift. dozens of friends have come and gone through my room, marveling at the 80s design and dusty gold colored edging that doesn’t match the accompanying oak trim along the walls in my house. they stare and stare at their reflections, our reflections. take pictures, post them on social media. watch the comments rake in. is this what we’ve come to? i switched where my bed is in my room so that i don’t have to look into the mirror as i fall asleep; it felt too narcissistic and depressing. now i have my bookshelf in front of me and the little lamp that jumps off the mirror next to me. i have my fan blowing and my window open to the late autumn, early winter night air that i love. i take deep breaths out of sight from the sliding doors that keep clothes i hardly ever wear safe. i sleep without it’s stare focused on me. i sleep without you on me, around me. i close my eyes, see the stars there, and sleep.
It only takes three simple words for my very being to melt in your arms and my soul to take flight high above us. I am not talking about the cliche here. We are so much better than a cliche. I am talking about a phrase so much more gentle, so much more inviting, so much more meaningful, so much more personal, so much more tender, so much more caring. "Babe, come here"
I see it in her eyes! "Guys look at so many girls," with a sigh. Then I saw your heart was loving mine. A being one with understanding. A smile that caressed my shoulder. An ease that could make me slip into sleep. Like a beauty she slept No heart to win Spirit hovered over her as if apart, yet a part of her. I wondered what dreams she could be having, Whose heart heaven could be sharing I wondered how many breaths she'd ever breathed. I wonder about the time I'm wasting making you my center of concentration. I wonder why you're not blacker. Wonder why you're not whiter. I wonder why there's no crust in your eye. wonder why you're not more recognized by colleges. Then I realize the softness of your pillow. I wonder what island you're from. Your curls turn into a flame of salamanders before my eyes. I want to kiss the air you breathe. I want to taste your makeup on your face. I want to thank the taxpayers for our food. I want to thank the elements for the extra bump off center in your chin. I want to take away your hurt and pain. I want you to rule over all men. You look at me like I'm not mature. You've found my secret you won't tell. I never paid any of your bills. You said, "No, I need a man."
My Floor, has a Carpet of Sorrow. So I keep weeping, in the Aisle. My Bedroom Mirror, is Broken. Which once held, My Beautiful Smile. The Hands of My Clock, never Alter, as things remain same at My Place. My Broken Heart, keeps Weeping and I run last, in almost every Race. Our Affair, has finally Ended and now U are free to Go. I will watch My "Sunsets" Quietly. As My Tears, roll down and Flow.
Green walls, purple bed sheets Symbols of personal peace A white desk, a bookshelf Things that define myself Curling mousse, a ***** hairbrush Possessions that make me blush My bedroom is my sanctuary A place that blocks off the scary Monsters in my life.
I can't help with that at all Her frail ghost has suffered so much
She has traveled the world and seen any and everybody Every single grave except her own For she can not bear it. But yet she can't feel
There's no happiness There's no envy She sees people living and loving But with a poker face, she stares at me
But my emotions are not gone And the pain she yearns to feel embodies in me As if life has been taken from her and now resides in me But I still feel lifeless (This isn't about me... It's about my nameless friend.)
I want to reach out to comfort her and she doesn't even know she needs it This **** ghost that finds comfort in my room Haunts me forever ironically enough But I can't reach out to her and I can barely hear her Her voice is a whisper Even when she yells (She should be glad she doesn't have a real throat since she yells so much)
"I know!" she cries. "I know you hear me!"
I can't answer that anymore. I need to tune her out to escape my turmoil.
Nothing here :) Oh I forgot lol. This is going to be a series