⠀ Am listening to my heart And its full of echoes Echoes of memories of truth Yet i live in a world of pure deceit I once was full of vigor And earnest zeal to fight But now am a shell Ruins A remnant of my former self Hardened by the scorching life suns I miss my younger self That guy had his life figured out People think am smiling But all I do is open my mouth a little To catch breath when am suffocating inside Yet I laugh hard and loud To convince myself that all is well I dare myself to walk straight But their eyes betray what they think about me Yes I am a lot of things to a lot of people A clinician who gives hope to some A miserable resilient friend The guy with a broken engagement That dude with expensive taste A relentless prayer worrior The heartbreaker But as I said before Its what I am to them, And honestly speaking I don't know who I am anymore I used to have my life drawn Now I don't even dare sketch it I have not yet given up But am also not sure I care anymore Now am just a perpetual procrastinator I have been shrinking daily And now my skin is buggy Sometimes I feel like shadying it off I am a disappointment to myself Ever busy yet achieving no result Sometimes I get busy in bed Not in the way you are thinking I get busy summoning energy to wake up And that takes some time See I fell in love some day back Guess I fell alone She keeps me busy marktiming But hasn't allowed me to march We I need to move But she tells me to wait. But what is she waiting for She still lies to me with a straight face And she isn't sorry for that If she doesn't want to let me go Why not march with me If she doesn't want to march with me Why keep me marktiming with her Honestly am tired And am letting go now Am letting go of everything And am picking up my pen again And dating my paper into an everlasting poetry
There is a storm outside The windows blew in The roof is lifting The foundation is shaking Inside I sit wondering will I make it Down comes the roof, it was carried away by the wind The glass from the windows has shattered The rain is blowing in Inside I sit wondering will I make it The foundation cracks, I can feel it shaking Inside I sit wondering will I make it Down comes all the walls It all fall down around me, everything every last drop Still I sit wondering will I make it I have shed my last tear and cried my last cry But still inside I sit wondering will I make it
the girl with the cupid's bow lips whispering into your ear that forever is in the drink that you weigh on the heaviness of your palm when you feel nervous and you think no one can notice but i notice don't look back or you'll trip into the things you were supposed to be falling in love with tell me to rely on blind faith and i'll make sure to keep my eyes open during your family's prayer circle during Christmas i want to open all the fruits you accidentally let rot in your kitchen with my bare hands and tell you that things die so there's something to feel afterwards i wish i could explain myself in the same way a hand that twitches might also tremble and the reason is never very important i want to package all the poems and give them to you as forgiveness as an apology on too many amphetamines like the ones we took one night and ended up at a desolate gas station and feeling that in that moment all time was spinning in a wheel waiting for me to reach out and disrupt the movement going on since i could speak but i was too distracted on all the candied wrappers with my name written on them so i spoke too soon and the cigarettes fell out of my purse and you said that life was in all the lines in our skin like that of a tree spinning spinning spinning
. The indifferent sky, Cold as marbled altar, Starless, plain as scripture Blasphemed with conviction, In communion with flocks, Says nothing about love Nor trust nor truth nor Blood offered in cold Cup of chalice Only priests Thirst up. .
cashing in lint ***** and couch change I long scrounged for at Gardenia Liquors in exchange for a jug of the cheapest red wine found on the selves of pity, this might be the worst tasting wine I’ve ever drank but it was the best I could afford at the time and it may be very little or hardly anything at all my dear but this reconciliation between me and this liquid fire is certifiable and factual. it won’t make me feel better in the morning but at least it got me through another night of desolate smiles.
Withering kiss belittles fate Sultry, affluent, perfection lost a damnation of intent skewed by empty plight
endearing atrophy weaves no ties cut from the crowd whispers seeking place in time Wreaking havoc upon sullen breadth
dreams disguise desire the facade awakens every day the ghostly touch of weightless hands deliverance, mourning truth each dream ached by sunder of hope remiss of such light, I become mired
such calmness and good comes of the night by day, there resides no such kindness by my side I await, forever..
kindness means nothing to those who seek to gain for only themselves; the rest simply do not exist near me. Such desired gentleness goes unheard. I wish to have ever beheld a heart who seeks me on its own, before i go
my dreams lie to me, as if to convey what I need most would ever exist; mocking my will to go forward by sharing a taste of what seems, by now, will never be real