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Amanda 19h
I see only perfection
Take a look around
Still you will see
You are the one beacon of light
In this desolate place

I am..
Nowhere near perfect

I am..
Not amazing

I am..
Nothing like her
I don't miss these days.. I never was the competitive type.
Shady Teddy Jan 13

Am listening to my heart
And its full of echoes
Echoes of memories of truth
Yet i live in a world of pure deceit
I once was full of vigor
And earnest zeal to fight
But now am a shell
Ruins
A remnant of my former self
Hardened by the scorching life suns
I miss my younger self
That guy had his life  figured out
People think am smiling
But all I do is open my mouth a little
To catch breath when am suffocating inside
Yet I laugh hard and loud
To convince myself that all is well
I dare myself to walk straight
But their eyes betray what they think about me
Yes I am a lot of things to a lot of people
A clinician who gives hope to some
A miserable resilient friend
The guy with a broken engagement
That dude with expensive taste
A relentless prayer worrior
The heartbreaker
But as I said before
Its what I am to them,
And honestly speaking
I  don't know who I am anymore
I used to have my life drawn
Now I don't even dare sketch it
I have not yet given up
But am also not sure I care anymore
Now am just a perpetual procrastinator
I have been shrinking daily
And now my skin is buggy
Sometimes I feel like shadying it off
I am a disappointment to myself
Ever busy yet achieving no result
Sometimes I get busy in bed
Not in the way you are thinking
I get busy summoning energy to wake up
And that takes some time
See I fell in love some day back
Guess I fell alone
She keeps me  busy marktiming
But hasn't allowed me to march
We I need to move
But she tells me to wait.
But what is she waiting for
She still lies to me with a straight face
And she isn't sorry for that
If she doesn't want to let me go
Why not march with me
If she doesn't want to march with me
Why keep me marktiming with her
Honestly am tired
And am letting go now
Am letting go of everything
And am picking up my pen again
And dating my paper into an everlasting poetry
Meyhem, stuck, love, heart broken, desolate
Amoy Sep 2018
There is a storm outside
The windows blew in
The roof is lifting
The foundation is shaking
Inside I sit wondering will I make it
Down comes the roof, it was carried away by the wind
The glass from the windows has shattered
The rain is blowing in
Inside I sit wondering will I make it
The foundation cracks, I can feel it shaking
Inside I sit wondering will I make it
Down comes all the walls
It all fall down around me, everything every last drop
Still I sit wondering will I make it
I have shed my last tear and cried my last cry
But still inside I sit wondering will I make it
Something bigger.
Something else.
Is there really?
Is there not?

We live on this floating ball in space.
Space, something indefinite.
Something unknown.
Are we alone?

Is it hard to believe
we are the only beings?
Yet harder to believe
there is a higher being.

We live alone
in our own worlds.
We feel alone.
Barren wasteland of existence.

Barren wasteland of a soul.
Body left to decay.
Just flecks of dust floating in space
for all of eternity.
Allison Wonder 2019
Crow Dec 2018
How do I go
When my absence melts you
How do I turn away
When I am immersed in you

What else can I see
If you are all my vision
What can draw my mind
If you are each thought

Are you truly alone
While you are surrounded by fears
Are you left without voice
While you scream in silence

Is there a limit to my rekindlings
As I extinguish with each last look
Is it possible to breathe
As lungs fill with endless calls to you

At what point could there be too much us
Though there is never enough
At what point is pain exhausted
Though the void of apart is limitless

Where is the end of empty
Can it be found when we are cleft
Where do we cease to touch
Can we be disjoined at any point

Why do we bleed with stilled hearts
Must away be bottomless
Will actuality ever come right
Do we survive, or die trying
Catechism - A set of questions put as a test

Though most often thought of as religious in nature, it need not be
girl gonzo Dec 2018
the girl with the cupid's bow lips whispering into your ear that forever is in the drink that you weigh on the heaviness of your palm when you feel nervous and you think no one can notice
but i notice
don't look back or you'll trip into the things you were supposed to be falling in love with
tell me to rely on blind faith and i'll make sure to keep my eyes open during your family's prayer circle during Christmas
i want to open all the fruits you accidentally let rot in your kitchen with my bare hands and tell you that things die so there's something to feel afterwards
i wish i could explain myself in the same way a hand that twitches might also tremble and the reason is never very important
i want to package all the poems and give them to you as forgiveness
as an apology on too many amphetamines
like the ones we took one night and ended up at a desolate gas station and feeling that in that moment
all time was spinning in a wheel waiting for me to reach out and disrupt the movement going on since i could speak
but i was too distracted on all the candied wrappers with my name written on them
so i spoke too soon and the cigarettes fell out of my purse and you said that life was in all the lines in our skin like that of a tree
spinning
spinning
spinning
.
The indifferent sky,
Cold as marbled altar,
Starless, plain as scripture
Blasphemed with conviction,
In communion with flocks,
Says nothing about love
Nor trust nor truth nor
Blood offered in cold
Cup of chalice
Only priests
Thirst up.
.
cashing in
lint ***** and
couch change
I long scrounged for
at Gardenia Liquors
in exchange for a jug of
the cheapest red wine
found on the selves
of pity, this might be the
worst tasting wine I’ve
ever drank but it was
the best I could afford
at the time
and
it may be very little or
hardly anything at all
my dear
but this reconciliation
between me and this
liquid fire is certifiable
and factual.
it won’t make me
feel better
in the morning
but at least
it got me through
another night of
desolate smiles.
Axion Prelude Oct 2018
Withering kiss belittles fate
Sultry, affluent, perfection lost
a damnation of intent
skewed by empty plight

endearing atrophy weaves no ties
cut from the crowd
whispers seeking place in time
Wreaking havoc upon sullen breadth

dreams disguise desire
the facade awakens every day
the ghostly touch of weightless hands
deliverance, mourning truth
each dream ached by sunder of hope
remiss of such light, I become mired

such calmness and good comes of the night
by day, there resides no such kindness by my side
I await, forever..
kindness means nothing to those who seek to gain for only themselves; the rest simply do not exist near me. Such desired gentleness goes unheard. I wish to have ever beheld a heart who seeks me on its own, before i go

my dreams lie to me, as if to convey what I need most would ever exist; mocking my will to go forward by sharing a taste of what seems, by now, will never be real
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