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triztessa Feb 8
Sullen eyes that seek comfort
after a bout of worrying
and churning stomachs
days on end without medicine
supplies are only for the few

They come and go
while the man behind the table
waits for a minute to rest
coming home without sleep
pushing the old wheel of life

The vulnerable and disconcerted
may rest on their arched backs
hanging on to nothing
but spare change to their names

The mortal life only seeks to be saved
Pandora Feb 6
A DOCTOR can save my life.
A LAWYER can defend my life.
A SOLDIER can give me a peaceful life.
But only You can give me a MEANINGFUL LIFE.
Sally S Ali Jan 23
And she used to stand at my door
To sing, as if she's the daylight;
To heal the flowers from the spikes
Heal the birds from the sorrow
Heal my soul from the night's colour

Sally S. Ali
Luna Jay Jan 17
X-rays always made her feel like a model,
The doctor always taking her pictures.
She always posed.
Every imperfection, every flaw in her porcelain skin,
They refused to overlook.
They had to inspect her,
Make sure she wasn’t contagious.
“Drink this, eat that, take these.
Let us shove tubing down your throat
So we can find you another pill”
And she was absolutely sick and tired
Of all of the rules and tubes and wires
And people she didn’t know touching all over her,
Making her feel
“Better”
It made her feel exposed.
Cold.
Like she was some
******* bunny for a physical health magazine.
Her nostrils were stained with
The strong scent of hand sanitizer.
And she couldn’t keep the hospital food down,
And the shower was always freezing cold…
But at least they could make her feel
“Better”
Erasing the taste of
Copper anorexia at the back of her throat,
She’s just an experiment.
Ellison Jan 4
(At the Doctor's)

"Hello there, what seems to be the problem?"

Doc, I feel feverish
Like I've been burning up
For the past few weeks
Without a moment's hesitation.

"Ah, so you have a cold."

No, it's something more.
I've been thinking of kicking down the door
And punching a wall with my fist
****, I still feel so ******.

"Then perhaps you need anger control?"

But I'm also exuberant
Like the world is candy land
And almost every day is a thrill to enjoy
And my smile is radiant for all to see.

"Hmm...how particularly interesting. Bipolar, then?"

No, I'm not that at all
It's just a girl that I know makes me feel so small
Is it natural to feel so happy and mad?
And did I tell you that the other day I felt so sad?

"Do you think you are insane?"

Yes, I think I might finally be gone
Lock me away forever in some padded room
I don't feel like myself anymore
For my brain is going haywire just thinking of her.

"You know, you've come to me for a while
And I know you aren't crazy and I've seen your real smile
So my hypothesis is this and it fits truly like a glove
Sir, I happily diagnose you with being in love."
Annie Dec 2018
When I am with you, you shall find
I undoubtably lose my mind
I hate my life, I thrash, you sneer
You do this to me every year!

The pain is like a tearing scorcher
You subject me to such deadly torture
I will not stand it. I cannot.
I must not get another shot.
A parody.
Jiya Dec 2018
I'm being sent away.
Far away to a place I can't explain.
A place filled with my secrets.
Where all my problems are on display.
A place where they open up your insides.
Where they prey on your pain...
A quick little poem about the fact my teacher and the school counsellor are sending me to a doctor to sort out my mental issues. It feels like the last straw for me, being sent away to a sterile unfamiliar place.
Audrey Oct 2018
I hate myself I wanna die
I hate myself I wanna cry
I find my friends to feel okay
cause I don't wanna be this way

the pressure you give is way to much
and I just want to chill no rush

see if I die won't need to live
my families life can finally begin

they’ll work on the second daughter, she
And shape her into what they need her to be
And once she soars with her success
They’ll claim our broken family is blessed

I told you what I loved to do, and you just didn't care
so why the **** would I share my life and speak to you and bear
out all my feelings on the floor so you can look and stare
and scream the words " I'm disappointed in you" and make it sound real rare.

P.S. I hate science and I'm probably going to fail biology
Nomkhumbulwa Oct 2018
This title could have been different,
Damaged by a doctor came to mind,
But in the end and without your consent
I chose your name, not to be unkind.

It needs to be there loud and clear,
For all the damage you left me with,
You will probably never know or care,
For the damage you left me with.

The outburst of rage right in my face,
In a hospital of all places,
Labelling me a manipulative liar,
A cruel, attention seeking waste of space

I am aware now that you were sick,
And for that I do not hold against you,
But what you did to me has grown and grown,
It has grown to the point where I hate you.

For now I dont know who I am,
I question my memories, my very existence,
You broke my confidentiality,
Spoke to my abusers without my consent.

I have had similar done before,
And yes from the same profession;
But that was out of sheer ignorance,
And the persuasive ways of the Exclusive Brethren.

He was a GP and I complained,
I received an apology, and I have now accepted,
I dont hold any grudges against him now,
I know how the Brethren can be very deceptive.

But you are more than a mere GP
You are supposed to be an expert,
An expert in Psychiatry
So your views remain - people tend to trust experts.

The thing is now I distrust myself,
You took away my sense of self,
You took away my identity,
You took away at this point - my entire family.

I do not blame you for all my issues,
Abuse from narcissists is very deceptive,
But by playing into the hands of my abusers,
You have taken away every desire I had to live.

I knew not that you were ill back then,
I left the country in a hurry,
I ran away from the pain and confusion you caused,
I ran away back to my  only "trusted" family.

The scar you left me with is still open and raw,
And now I have yet another,
In fact as time passes I have more and more,
The scar first inflicted by my mother.

Now the wound is inches deep,
And of course there are more,
There are the ones I have to create myself,
To take away the pain, and everything else.

The scar you left will never fade,
Now I firmly believe the words you spat,
In that chair right into my face,
On the hospital bed I sat.

I believe im evil and cruel,
I believe that for everything I am to blame,
I believe I deserved everything I got,
And what i'll never forget - is your name.

Now I question almost everything,
I dont know who I am,
I certainly do not trust anymore,
I dont know how  can...

Did the assault really happen?
I ask myself every day,
Because of the words you put in my head,
They are there to stay.

Your conclusions on me reached ST Helena,
So I was viewed with suspicion from many,
By those who were supposed to help me,
Not just from my family.

Although you have taken them too,
For yes, dont worry they now believe you,
They were what I had left,
Apart from the abusive few.

Your views fuelled my peoples attitude,
To ****** assault towards women,
It existed already of course,
But you gave them more reason to blame women.

I am completely alienated,
I have nobody and nothing left,
You took away my sanity,
And he...took away the rest.

I came close with the help of **** Crisis,
To taking this to court,
But of course these things are mishandled,
He was told but a free man until court.

He hung himself, thats what he did,
To avoid facing the shame, blame and hate,
The exact same as what us women face,
For him - with death its too late.

My people take this somewhat differently,
As what other British people might do,
They see this as yet another reason,
To say its something he didnt do.

This adds yet another dimension
To what you left me with,
How on earth am I supposed to know.
If it was real, what he left me with.

I dont trust myself, I trust no one else,
Due to that experience with you,
I have such a deep seated hatred for myself,
I now speak to only very few.

You took away even my Nationality,
For I am no longer Saint or even British,
I have seen enough in South Africa,
I have realised that I am no longer British.

For what you have done is make me feel safe
In somewhere burdened heavily with rapists ,
And for that very reason,
There are many people I can associate with.

A place of **** and ******
Is now my safe haven,
From St Helena to South Africa,
Who would ever have known.

There I am able to trust,
But here - no never again,
You have left me with such a deep wound,
When im here I just feel insane.

Now the tears fall again,
As I write this stupidly long rhyme,
But I cannot keep it inside,
Its all building up over time.

Because of you im not trusted either,
By anyone in the medical service,
Im treated with suspicion,
In fact im not treated at all by the service.

So I suffer alone with pain and distress,
Not knowing whats true and what isnt,
Not wanting to be seen by anyone,
Feeling like a total delinquent.  

You see what im trying to say,
Is that you damaged me MORE THAN A ******,
You misused your powers,
You abused my trust.

I wish I could get you out of my mind,
Because now all I can do is hurt more,
Just keep hurting myself,
To take away what I cannot ignore.

I could write so much more but wont,
I will just say one thing more..
I feel so sorry for Glasgow,
Glasgow deserves so much more.  

You could work here no longer,
And so that should be,
But does Glasgow not have enough problems?
Why now should these people suffer like me?????

........by Nomkhumbulwa.
One of the causes of many of my issues......thats all I can say.  Sorry.
Trace the grey packages to the world
Everyone is guilty of living a lie
If only solidity and truth breaths in us, a new wine wouldn't taste as the old
A ***** cup is *****
Deep, I am about to rip you apart
If only I can propel myself out of my skin, past the tag of being human and feminine
The dying tone of society caged my strength, a restriction it placed on my abilities
In the abyss of a dying myth, erupts a dream
Hoping to live beyond tags
Another died in a living church during sermon, each held their phones closer than the Holy book
The praying tongue have left
If only faith lives in the church, in your soul instead
And the teachings in the Holy book you accept, the path of living would be heavens bliss
That gifts life perfectly
Paint me a canvass, a blood stained nation you should create
If only the artist can reveal our nature, the creeping truth found in his painting
A message of discovery
Devoid traces of perfection found in straight lines, representing the tears staining our journals
White coats and stethoscopes are hard bargains, your pockets breath money and cheques
If only doctors save lives than securing cheques and status
Cutting down the chase of paper, hanging lives with syringes
We won't wake someday with bills for oxygen, life shrinks on a daily seen through polished lens
If only the venom you breath stings to death
Cutting open the ground for ideas
The plea for growth and refurbishment
As A lamp between life and dreams
If only I can put everyone in writing
Then you can blame me for staining your soul
Or I blame you for allowing me to notice your pain
Behind the veil of hunger and ignorance
Prolly the truth hurts like a lie
If only I am not guilty too.
What's poetry if it doesn't point out flaws? Why relax in a country overflowing with evil while you can write for change?. Everyone lives a lie cause I am guilty too.
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