Some of you
Don’t know how much you mean to
Me–
I just can’t see
A way
To say
“Just standing next to you makes my day”
Or perhaps “That made me feel so
Much better” because I know
It would just feel weird.
For how long has our society feared
Expressions
Of affection?
Too much obviously feels wrong
But when you’ve been here for so long,
I don’t know how to not overdo
My gratitude towards you.

a hug is a huge thing
a something that can envelop
can cause me to well up
can burst through my well built up defences
and knock down fences
that have stood the test
of time-honoured conventions
that respected my distance
and even admired my stiff upper prevention
of anything like a display of affection

a hug is a long held committing
a massive undertaking
that leaves a long-lasting indentation of serious loving.

A hug is a huge thing.
We need a hug.

Awkwardly he holds

my hand, just like in photos --


from the olden times.

I never dare to

speak to them, not one of them --


does even see me.

I count all my friends

and am left with five fingers --


to shake hands with you!

We don't talk about

anything, we only smell --


of the same bath soap.

Phone conversation,

about the locations we --


are supposedly at.

My father narrates,

the speaker is off, I film --


deep inside his mind.

It's like a Hopper

painting, sitting on a bench --


next to my father.

I tell everything.

You look at me guiltily --


I understand you.