The ghost of my childhood is lingering around the wave of impurity. The more I imagine, the more I drown in my own misfortune.

Dust, in the air
unseen impurity.

The spectrum of humanity, good and bad.
Black and white.

Being submerged in the black feels unnatural, unlike me.

I'm calling on my star for something unattainable,
unused,
pushed under the carpet.

It's presence sparkled when I saw a child laughing at the sky.  

Innocence.

To wear blue, and feel serene,
To wear yellow, and feel joy,
To wear pink, and feel love,
To wear purple, and feel life.

I used to wear Innocence.

I dress differently now,

I wear emerald green, and feel anxious,
I wear a cloudy grey, and feel impersonal.
I wear stained white, and feel everything
I wear only black, and feel nothing.

I wear sin now.

I'm all the things I once wished upon a star not to be.

I can still feel your hands on me,
The way they took, the way they gripped at my skin until I screamed.
You liked hearing me scream but you held a hand over my mouth just in case there were ears nearby.
You bruised my lips with how hard you held my face in place, I could barely breath.
Your hands they took, savagely, selfishly
Your eyes trailed my body with a tenderness that you couldn't possibly possess.
They humiliated me, for I was open, helpless.
Weak.
You took and took, and you ******* took!
I cried, I kicked, I begged, but you were all about finishing what you started.
I can feel your hands, everyone who has ever touched me has your hands.
I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, somebody help me, please stop, no more!
I want to feel pretty but not like this.
I flinch at the unexpected embraces.
I awaken in fright when I should be at peace in the night.
You took.
And you couldn't even look me in the eyes because you knew.
You knew
...
But you still took.

I was born out of light
Born to devour
The darkness
The hatred
With the powers within me
With each dark soul I devoured
My heart became impure
And over time
My pure soul
Shattered
By the same darkness I destroyed
And I became
The darkness
I was born to devour

Impure is my mind,
The gnawing desires,
Unfulfilled, weakening neurally
My being, second by second.
Not millions of them
A dozen, may be.
Whom can I disclose,
Gripped with fear,
Of getting trapped
For lives?