cuz my conscience is a *****
let me know who the highest bidder is
let me know the bitter end
sprawled out on the floor
looking for hope in desk drawers
find it and light it up like my life is just passing smoke
a passive joke
i aint growing old because i've been there
growth comes from damage and i'm hella broke
record repeating in slo-mo
unfinished suicide notes tucked in the leaves of better poems and ****** notions
self perception of self perfection is a dangerous *****
and like i said
i'm hella broke
broken dreams like shattered glass
demons dance like a cruel romance
secrets whisper in shadows deep
across my brain voices creep
my regrets echo as a haunting refrain
ghosts that linger and wane
lost in darkness
lost in the labyrinth
i remain i remain i remain

what melancholy
could serenade me better
than a broken heart
a bottle of whiskey
and a head full of memories
that hurt too much
when sober

poetry has become nothing more than
fizzling embers that i desperately bellow
in the hopes that once bright flame will
ablaze again

i long to scream
until the surface of my throat
is as torn as much as
my heart feels
as much as
my mind is
until i am haunted
by the thought
that i dont recall
my own voice

in our folly we embrace a fatal flaw
to believe in death as if it's what we await
yet most of death has claimed its silent draw
each fleeting moment by its grip sedate
forever young I gaze upon the night
dreaming of hands that'll touch the world's span
i dream to touch the world though flames blast
for in that touch true life i shall perceive
anger emptiness loneliness deceit
in each of us fear builds its museum vast
yet in the end we're atoms in retreat
seeking solace clinging to the past
for me no greater yearning could there be
than to gather wounds each scar a tale
in misery a strange form of ecstasy
wherein lies my joy amidst sorrow's veil
the world's end holds no sway over my mind
for each dawn births anew its tender light
alone i whisper to the void resigned
in search of solace in this endless night

i don't sleep well anymore
in this endless cold by the shore
anxiety's tides never recede
inside they churn and impede
a weary vessel battered and worn
with each crashing wave i'm torn
exhaustion a relentless force
draining wearing me off course
in the depths of despair i roam
haunted by shadows never alone
every step heavier than before
beneath the weight of depression's core
my bones ache with fatigue's embrace
as i stumble through this desolate space
sleep offers no respite no solace found
in this relentless storm i'm bound
i long to rest to find reprieve
but the darkness within won't leave
so i drift lost in this endless night
consumed by the absence of light
no sleep can mend this weary soul
trapped in a cycle beyond control
exhausted overwhelmed i endure
in the grip of depression's allure

lost in the echoes of shadowed screams
whispers of the night, haunting my dreams
asphalt veins pulse with secrets untold
within the city's heart, a story unfolds
skyscrapers scrape the ink-black sky
carving stories with every blink of an eye
midnight's symphony, a sirenic trance
wrapped in the city's clandestine dance
where fractured reflections blend and blur
illuminated whispers, like a clandestine slur
a labyrinth of alleys, weaving tales unspoken
each brick, a witness, each silence, a token
in the tapestry of shadows, i find my reprieve
seeking solace in the night, where shadows deceive
streets adorned with wilted hopes
graffiti tales on the walls, slippery slopes
sallow faces etched with despair
the city breathes a heavy, poisoned air
crimson stains on the sidewalks' embrace
echoes of shattered dreams, a somber trace
moonlight weeps upon broken glass
a reflection of dreams that couldn't amass
flickering neon, a sputtering flame
in the alleyways, shadows play their game
the city's heartbeat, a muffled drum
resonating with dreams undone
forsaken whispers in the abandoned lots
of ambitions crumbled, tied in knots
a skyline of shattered aspirations
each silhouette, a tale of desolation
like wilted flowers in a concrete field
where hope, like petals, slowly peeled
fading stars in the polluted sky
a requiem for dreams that couldn't fly
under the flickering lamplights' hum
ghostly remnants of a dream succumb
whispers of what could've been
vanish into the city's melancholy din
empty streets, hollowed echoes roam
through the ruins of a forsaken home
each step, a dance on fractured dreams
where hope unravels at the seams
a labyrinth of yearning, lost and bare
as the city weaves its tapestry of despair
in the silent alleys, shadows sigh
a requiem for dreams left to die