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Grey Dec 2019
I wake up
To a day half gone
The troubles of sleeping in.
Grey Dec 2019
The internet slows
Then stops
Before I can find
The answers.

I reload the page.
Watch the words disappear.

And with it,
Everything I was searching for.
Grey Oct 2022
if our fingers brushed together
and you pressed yours to mine
so accidentally-on-purpose
they gently intertwined
and i looked at you
and you looked at me
and we smiled
i think maybe everything
would be just fine.
6/18/2022
Going through my drafts again
Grey Apr 2020
My heart is beating in my ears,
racing, chasing, my rolling tears.
Do my eyes deceive me,
or is that really you?
It's as if my most desperate dreams
are coming true.
We haven't met face to face
but there's something about you
that I can't quite place.
You make me smile
just by writing,
"It's been awhile."
It makes me wonder --
is it your talent, words,
or personality
that make me feel this happily?
4/13/2020
This is really rough, especially at the end, but it's about as good as it's going to get.

I don't understand how people make such witty titles. I swear, those pesky things will be the death of me.
Grey Dec 2019
I am high on life,
drowning in euphoria,
and drunk on loving.
Grey Dec 2019
All I want for Hanukkah is
for you to be happy.

All I want for Christmas is
for you to be loved.

All I want for Kwanzaa is
for you to be safe.

All I want for New Years is
for you to promise me
that you won't give up this year.
Happy Holidays :)
Grey Dec 2019
In the eye of the hurricane,
she dances by herself.
Grey Dec 2019
I never meant for it to go this far
That's what I said.
I never thought that I would fall
That's what I claimed.
And yet…
Grey Dec 2019
Swirls of red and gold
Stretching across the world.
Filling the planet with pale greens and deep indigos,
You are the flower on a desert plain.
You are the sun on a cloudy day,
The rainbow after rain.
You are what makes this world beautiful,
The artistic touch painting the earth with marvels beyond compare.

Artists strive to harness your beauty,
Musicians sing of your grace.
The indescribable image you paint,
Of a baby blue sky and lush green grass.
Day after day, people gaze in admiration
Finding joy in your very presence when they can find it
Nowhere else.

You are the light in a dark cave,
The path through an infinite plane.
The finishing touches of a painting,
The smile on a child’s face,
The laces on a shoe.
Something so important we’d be lost without it
Yet so subtle most look past it.

Bleak skies, barren terrain.
Without you, everything is boring; the same.
How would we symbolize love, glory, shame, danger?
How would we see the edges of each object with such sharpness?
Without you, we would all be at a loss,
Living in a bleary, stark world.
Grey Dec 2019
Anonymous means
that anything can be said
without consequence.
For better or for worse.
Grey Dec 2019
The shadows creep into the corners of my vision
Cave in and surround me
as I let out a silent scream,
a final plea for the help I know I will never receive.
I bury myself in blankets,
lose myself in words,
dull my mind with glowing screens.
And yet, the darkness still draws near.

As my puffy eyes fall closed for the first time
in so, so long...
My mind slows and calms, the barriers falling
the guards leaving at the end of their shift
before the horrors arrive.

It's not long before I can feel the snake
slithering into my slightly parted lips
And sliding down my throat.
Red-rimmed eyes shoot open
and my gaping mouth chokes for air
as it smirks, eyes glittering with pleasure.
The monsters twist around my gut
nibble at my heart
lick their lips with delight
and eye their new victim's soul with desire.

They gently caress my stomach with their claws
leaving red gashes oozing with blood.
And just as I think I've found relief
in your worried blue eyes,
the puppeteers twist my face into a smile.
I feel myself nod and say, "Yes, I'm all good"
as I beg for somebody to hear me,
to stop this pain.

I'm answered with the infiltrators,
now massacring my happy thoughts
and filling my brain with fears.

"Useless"
"Failure"
"They never liked you anyway"
"They wish you were dead"
"Just leave already"
"Leave"
"Leave"
"Leave"

A chant,
a mantra
buzzing at the back of my mind
like a song on replay
always on the radio, no matter
how many times you switch the station.

Thoughts are spiralling
Kicking up the dirt
covering the casket
already set in the ground for me.

And on the tombstone,
"Death by a merciless enemy --
anxiety."
Grey Dec 2019
The last rays of light
fill the sky with ****** red
We will die tonight.
Grey Apr 2021
Your tender words caress my face
and seep into my skin.
Soft soliloquies, quiet rhymes, rhythmic patterns,
they swirl in my mind
and are painted behind my eyelids while I sleep
or as I think of you and smile.
The whisper of your fingertips
reminds me of the brush of your pen
and the tumultuous emotion from each word
brought forth from your mind.
Your poems of love impart a sweet nostalgic ache
for the passion I'd never felt
until your words flooded my thoughts
and allowed deeply seeded flowers to grow into a full bloom.

And I think
maybe it is not you I fell for,
but the sweet, sweet, song you sing.
Started 2/26/2021, finished 4/1/2021
I like the last verse but I don't know how I feel about the rest.
Grey Dec 2019
Like a shooting star, what was once now is gone forever
leaving a trail of memories behind,
the only thing lighting this bleak sky called life.
The night is cold and we are restless,
staring at the dark ceiling caging us in.
Headphones cover the ears of the sane,
blocking out the screams of their companions.
And here I stand,
surrounded by voices blending and changing,
monsters streaking out of mouths and
capturing others before freeing them
only to make them its slave – a contagion,
contaminating even the purest of hearts.
The sounds from my sweet songs mix
with the knives from the real world,
easily piercing through the fragile film
that keeps out the monsters.
As the daggers bury deeper into my haven
the darkness slips in,
wrapping me up and stifling my silent screams.
The headphones removed, reality’s sky blinds me
as the monster slides down my throat
and settles in my gut.
It curls around my stomach and lungs and tightens its grip,
now a constrictor leeching the life out of its prey.
I’ve been caught. The virus called life
has
found
me.
Grey Dec 2019
Why is it
That inspiration hits
at all the wrong times?

Wandering the woods,
no pen in sight,
and suddenly the greatest idea dawns on me.
Distracts from the nature and beauty around
as I repeat it again and again
in the hopes that it will be etched into my mind.

I rush to the place
where I can write it all down
where it can be remembered forever
But when I arrive
It is gone without a trace.

At night, when all is dark,
when silence is the key to survival,
it slinks into bedrooms
and curls up in tired minds.

Keeps me awake for hours,
only to disappear at the first sign of light
leaving me alone again.

And yet, I'll stare at a paper
For days, years, decades
And ideas evade me.
My mind is blank
as the sheet in front of me.

And nothing comes to mind.
Grey Mar 2023
Landlocked oceans
Killing trees
There’s nothing but the notion
Of worn out leaves
Gonna tear them apart
Before I run away
From the swimming
Sinking screaming
Of what follows
3/8/2023
Grey May 2020
The words are twisting around me,
wringing me out like a wet towel.
The tune is stretched and thin
as if it's an ode to the last of my happiness.
It speaks to me almost as loud
as the ghosts screaming in my ears,
except the unprescribed medication
I drown myself in
doesn't keep it out of my head.
I have to remind myself daily --
they don't know you
they don't care about you
the words aren't sung about you.
But how could they not,
when they ring so true?
How can they not
when my stomach turns
to the time of the music,
when the tears leak out of my eyes
the same way the last notes
leave the guitar?
How can they not
when they're the only bridge to reality
I have left?
5/4/2020
Grey Dec 2019
Torn, broken, upset
When I left, I didn't look back
How I regret it.
Reread this a few months later and realized that this isn't actually a haiku. It has eight syllables in the middle. Ah, well..
Grey Nov 2020
You whisper
drunken promises
through red-rimmed lips,
eyes softer than the fading sun.
Like the kisses on my face
and the shattered pictures on the floor
they'll be broken all too soon.
10/25/2020
Grey Jan 2020
It's not my fault
that you've stolen my heart.
January 13, 2020
Grey Dec 2019
Looking in your eyes
I know I'd do anything
just to make you smile~
Grey Apr 2022
when i laugh i look at you
and maybe it’s wishful thinking
but sometimes i think
you do the same, too.
4/5/2022
Grey Dec 2019
Arms wrap around me
Just before I hit the ground
I am saved at last
Grey May 2020
Laughing, we dare each other
to jump into the crystal-clear fountains
and gaze at the bright blue sky
obstructed only by the Eiffel Tower in the distance.
Our splashes alert the security guards and we run,
unable to keep from giggling as they yell after us.
Stumbling towards a field of lush green grass,
we collapse against each other and grin,
comfortable in our warm silence.
As twilight nears, we splurge
on freshly-baked pastries
and gelato the color of emeralds,
huddling against the cold
in our soaking wet turtleneck sweaters.
Fingers intertwined, we run through the city streets
until we don't remember which way we came.
We slow, panting through our smiles
as we take in our surroundings.
We're on a bridge, the dark skies and glistening stars
reflected by the rippling water below.
We stop a vendor packing up for the night
and write our names on a golden lock.
We hook it to the bridge and throw away the key,
watching it sparkle in the moonlight
before sinking into the water
and drifting to the river bottom.
She cups my face in her hand
and leans in close
so the swirling fog from our breaths meld into one
and warms our flushed cheeks.
I gently pull her against me and close the distance between us,
our lips speaking more than the most beautiful poems
and our love as infinite as the skies stretching above us.
5/3/2020
The sentence structure is super repetitive but I think it's kind of cute despite that.

There's a bridge in Paris called the lock bridge where couples will write their names on a lock and lock it to the bridge then throw the key away, symbolizing that their love will last forever.
Grey Dec 2019
My breath leaves in white swirls
Mixing with the icy blue air
Wavering, disconfiguring
Then fading away.
Happy almost winter! It's getting colder. :)
Grey Feb 21
Ice cold hands
on jagged skin
Please don’t let me go

Tell me you’re okay
– No don’t lie!
But
tell me you’re okay

Where is your voice?
Lost its place
behind my ear
I can’t hear it anymore

Last time we spoke
you cried against my skin
droplets tattooed into my soul
I promise
I will never let you go.
2/20/2024
Grey Dec 2019
You don't realize it,
But I do.
I know a comet when I see one.
I know power when I see it.
You may not have seen her full potential now,
She may have looked weak and dim,
Just a streak and then she's gone,
But you'll see.
When she comes around again
Her light will sear your eyes.
She will burn
Bright and hot.
She isn't a mirage, a fluke in our minds.
She's a powerhouse
And when she returns, she'll be ready
To kindle her flames
And live.
Dec 25 2019
Grey Oct 2020
I'm nothing without
soft kisses in the moonlight,
bodies entangled
as lips trace constellations
made with freckles on your skin.
10/7/2020
Without you, the world may not stop spinning but my heart would cease to beat.
Grey Dec 2019
Why is it
That I am nothing compared to you

And yet
You call me your everything?
Grey Sep 2022
Sometimes I wish that darkness was a human and that darkness was a cannibal.
That from the concave behind my eyes
wisps of black stretched out
and swallowed up my skin,
turned me upside down
and inside out
until I was inside it.
The skin or the darkness
I’m not sure.
9/9/2022
Grey Mar 2021
She spoke
with half-smoked cigarettes
and lilting cursive scribbled over last night’s letter’s return address,
her bags packed with only a backless dress.
Nails dripping black and red
blood and paint indistinguishable
in the darkness of the winding alleyways
zigzagging her heart.
She was truly, unendingly lost
in the mazes of her mind
as she traveled backwards with a string
lazily trailing after broken stilettos.
Yesterday’s rain still dripping from empty window sills
and illuminated by lanterns lit with fireflies
found solace in her silent tears
for they were companions,
cut from the same paper-thin cloth.
Maybe a goddess had worn it once,
but those days were long gone
when she lit it aflame with a cigarette
fresh from her lips.
Desire was never a question —
this she had learned from the fire
overtaking her overflowing mind —
and yet it was soundlessly spoken
on empty bottles
not yet broken and swept up by the sea.
Only the blind man could see her now
just as the deaf girl heard her cries
and thus she remained unanswered.
This, however, she did not mind
for being lost was no longer not a choice.
3/21/2021
She had passed the exit of the maze, and yet she did not hesitate to continue on just as she had done the hundred times before.
Grey Dec 2019
As I dream of dawn
Night conquers dusk yet again
Making worlds go dark
A different take on my previous poem, "Hope," though they have very different meanings.
Grey Apr 2020
Symptoms?
Heart is racing!
Chest is aching!
Pits are sweating!
Hands are shaking!
Breath is heaving!
World is swaying!

Diagnosis?
Love.
4/14/2020
Pretty stupid when you think about it. Why did we even evolve to be this way? Seems like it blocks reproduction more than anything.
Grey Mar 2020
I lie awake in my bed
all these uncontained thoughts
running around in my head.
Color and light,
ideas that are glaring and bright
seep into my head during the long nights.
But I'm restless, dark thoughts
pulling me down
and making me breathless.
So I take a sleeping pill,
wait for it to lift the weight
of the desperate dreams they ****.
But along with it,
the rainbow dims and flickers,
becoming a monochrome
that reminds me all to much
of the world we call home.
1/20/20
Going through my drafts.
I'm never sure how to end my poems, so I'm never really satisfied with them.
Grey May 2020
And with just one word,
I watched as my dreams crashed down,
unable to hold
when life's harsh realities
beat down on their fragile frames.
5/20/2020
May is the month of tankas and ten words, I guess.
Grey Dec 2019
They say I'm perfect.
They say they wish they were me.
I scoff in their face.

They don't know my life.
They haven't traversed my mind
or searched through my thoughts.

They know nothing of
what it is like to be me.
They don't get to say

That I am perfect
Any more than I can say
I know their life story.
Grey Mar 2020
I raise my gaze toward the pale blue sky,
staring out my window as I watch the world go by.
Pale cheek pressed against a ****** hand,
I daydream of travelling across unknown lands.
Fantasy worlds and magic forests tug at the back of my mind,
things that only characters in books could ever really find.
But always stuck in my room, nothing around,
how can I truly know what wonders abound?
To a prisoner, fiction is being free --
something that I know I never will be.
My frail fingers trace the words engraved on the window's wood --
"Your mind will let you be what no one else ever could."
Except how can it really let me live
if life is a present that no one will give?
3/2020
Trying something new :) This one kind of reminds me of Rapunzel, though it was partially inspired by the lockdown.
Grey May 2020
I’m
lost
in
a
world
existing
only
in
my
dreams
~♥~
5/22/2020
Grey Apr 2020
There she sits alone,
silence in the night.
Her back's against the willow tree
and the moon's her only light.

The ground is cracked and broken,
the tree's leaves brown and dry,
but despite the death surrounding,
she feels like she could fly.

Above, the stars are glistening
like her earth-brown eyes
because what she just has realized
is that she can see the skies.

Though the city's crumbling
as the virus spreads,
she rejoices in the living
while they start to count the dead.

As fear holds down its victims,
keeping them inside,
Mother Earth has been spring cleaning
and soon she’ll be revived.

The once-black air is crystal clear
and the mountain range stands proud.
It’s a sight to see for miles around,
no longer covered in dark shrouds.

Beside the bright blue waters,
deer come out to play.
As they romp around the stream
fish quickly swim away.

The sky is bright and beautiful,
the water’s clear and clean,
and the animals are all smiling
because we're nowhere to be seen.

So as you leave your houses
one fateful summer day,
remember that we’re temporary
while Earth is here to stay.
4/21/2020
Thanks Erian Rose for helping me! :)
The prompt was to write a poem about a "hot topic."

Alternate ending:
But when you come outside again
and **** that fresh green grass
Mother Earth will sigh with sadness,
for all good things shall pass. (I originally wrote "come to pass" which sounds better here, but I later realized that it actually has the opposite of the intended meaning so I had to change it. Also, the second line in this stanza is pretty bad but since I decided not to use this anyway, I never changed it.)
Grey Feb 2021
The world rains down on this lonesome desert plane
and we watch and wait and go insane.
12/7/2020
Wanted to continue this into a longer poem but I'm not sure where to take it.
Grey Apr 2020
"I love you," I whisper into the void,
but the only response is my echo.
4/23/2020
Grey Dec 2019
The last glimpse of light
Fills the sky with ****** red
Then the world turns dark
Grey Apr 2020
When I gave you my heart
You lovingly cupped it in your palms
But I guess you got distracted
Because I watch it slide through your fingers
And shatter on the ground.

When you gave me your hand
I held it tightly in my own
But I guess I got distracted
Because our fingers are no longer intertwined
And our hands are empty.
4/26/2020
Grey Apr 2021
It's her words, I think,
that turn the world into gold.
Or, perhaps, the way her eyes captured entire soliloquies
and her voice took on a hint of an accent
as buttery, honey-soaked verses slid off her tongue
and filled the springtime air with such ease
that I began to wonder whether it was truly a poem
or just the lyrics of the thoughts that painted her mind.

And I know I've known her for a while
in that half-smile sort of way
and the contemplation of a wave as she passed me by
but suddenly there was nothing I wanted more
than to talk for hours under the brilliant sky,
the one whose windswept clouds were palaces
with moats of the most cerulean blue.
Though the sky may have once deserved only a passing glance
it was transformed before my very eyes
as she whispered its secrets into my awaiting ears.

I wonder, idly, what the world would be like
if she sang its soul into existence
and there's a small voice in the back of my mind,
one murmuring that perhaps she already has
but we're all too blind to see it.
4/27/2021
After hearing her poetry I feel like I'm too inadequate to write anything. Only her own words can capture the beauty that they express.
Grey Oct 2020
Help, friend!
Please, just make this brutal cycle end!
Let me finally transcend
this reality we comprehend
as a futile means to a futile end.
8/17/2020
Grey Aug 2021
I strung up Christmas lights on the trees in my mind
and haven’t taken them down yet.
8/1/2021
Grey Feb 2020
Every day, her smile greets me
as she enters the house after work.
Every day, she talks to me
until her mouth runs dry.
Every day, I walk by her side,
stopping only to smell the roses.
Every day, I follow her around,
waiting for her next command.
Every day, I put the light in her eyes
and the smile on her face.
Oh, how great it is to be a dog.
Dec something, 2019
Grey Dec 2019
As the night darkens
The moon casts an eerie glow
On owls’ yellow eyes
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