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Wolff Sep 25
im having trouble
with memory comprehension
this mind is full of apprehension
they always steal my attention
it seems they're going on a vacation
seperating in all my relations
left me lonely with fog
found nothing but frustrations

i no longer use medicine to bargain
a ruse i used to believe was now in vain
it felt like riding a train
going to your destination and paused when it rains

books, pens, and questions got me overwhelmed
answers and papers with no lead, nor helm
all i want is to reach my personal gratification
but my head is in state of sublimation
and i guess it's a broken contemplation
Kenneth 2019
Mandalina Sep 22
i feel like a car stuck in traffic
impatiently waiting for the line to ease up
but the line keeps getting longer
and there isnt anything i can do
except for waiting
for someone else to lead the way
because even though ive tried
my road is blocked
frustrated all i can do is honk the horn
scream all i can
or sit in silence
until someone shows up
and guides the way
but it has been years
and im still glued in the same spot
losing all my sanity
while not being able to leave
putting my hope on someone else
hoping theyll help
i feel like a car stuck in traffic




-j.m.k
eva-mae Aug 15
here.
and then not.
well now what?

he’s holding back tears,
this soft summer
says he has a cold,

my hand magnetically,
attaches to his shoulder
and pulls him closer.

He kisses my head,
“you’re such a good friend”
as his arm snakes round my shoulder.

now we’re lying.
swaying summer grass
his hand takes mine,

jokes that my arm
is in the wrong place,
Corrects it with caress.

we are standing somewhere,
here and then not,
this isn’t fair
well now what?
eva-mae Aug 15
another name
To add to my page of heartbreak
another name
To keep me numb
Another name
To romance, for a second chance
Though he is second to none.

another face
To associate with love
another face
To curse with praise
another face
to rehearse each small graze
On our downward facing days.

another heart
to submerge in anticipation
another heart
To learn each crack of pavement
another heart
To bleed dry, with a needle to the eye, when all my energy is spent.

another day
To pay for the holes in myself
To jump off of the highest shelf

another fate
To hate with an upward trend
Well I don’t need another friend.
i was born
to be ultimately useless
forthcoming with confusion
self-hatred so ruthless
my anxious bones, so angry and taut
i was born
where tired bones saunter
undecided
and stirred into black and unconcerned dips
filled with future's scornful spit, directionless
bashful, lazy
disrespectful, disenfranchised
with a mouthful of hardened snakes
and spiteful chimes

my identity crises  
won’t let me sleep
the permeable molecules of anxiety
will pass through and bite me like fear
my raging inferno
sleeps and rises
as infrequent as self-confidence
i was born
into a noisy world
with a constantly twisting atmosphere
i was born
to be ultimately faithless
alone and grown in the dark
Abby Jul 11
I don’t understand you
I don’t understand the thoughts in your head
One second you say that she’s dead to you the next you’re thick as thieves
I always think you’re mad at me
And maybe you are
I know you talk about me behind my back
I never know how to act
I always feel like I’m under attack
You frustrate me to an extinct I can’t describe.
There are times when I get so anxious
Finals, speeches, manifestos, confessions
Those times when I don’t know it anymore
Goals and purposes, why’s and how’s

I don’t know myself anymore
I become meaner, inconsiderate
Opposites of who am I really

But boy, I’m glad
I know poetry, my escape

Words sure can’t describe my true feelings
But somehow it soothe to know that
At least when I don’t know anything
At least if I lose myself in the seas of emotion
Words can help me find my way back
to. my dear self who keeps on losing herself whenever she’s panicking
Asunna Jun 18
How does one escape the snowball effect,
when does it ever cut slack?
Dear lord, oh lord, if that's even your name.
Why have you constantly forsaken me?
we are grown to be kind, taught to love one another,
yet I live in a life of bruisement.
What kind of god tortures the kindness of life by rewarding the evil that dwells inside of those who care nothing of others even if it changes the kindness forever, into something that becomes cold and hard, not trusting a soul and running from everything because everything is so scary like being damaged from a breeze is catastrophic to the nature of that once purest soul and I can't breathe all the time because im paralysed in fear because you god, constantly rip things away till there's nothing for me left.
And you wonder why I don't believe in you.
You've done nothing for me. like ever.
Stop trying to rip away my mother,
she's all I have left..
There's nothing anyone can do, it's all a waiting game, a game you constructed. why? have I not paid you enough? was getting sexually assaulted not enough for you? was being kind to those who done me wrong not enough to show you I was worth a little slack? because I get it god you win, I'm done with the games.
I have minimal friends, I'm constantly alone, no body wants me.
You constantly keep trying to take my family, killing them in the cross fire between this situation you've developed. I deal with the scars, the emotional damage. forever a trigger in my ******* (nightmares)dreams.
I've paid my dues, why can't you ******* see it.
Why believe in you? You're no better than the devil.
the foundation of me is falling apart because I cant bare the loss of anything else. the shingles are falling off the roof, I'm ready to cave but I just cant move. The paralysis has me in too deep, suffering eternally like one of your marionettes. Quit tugging on my fishnet lines because I promise you "lord", there's nothing left inside.
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