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So quickly you forget
I just was with you
And so quickly
you forget , I exist
That's what frustrates
me the most
It's ok **** no it's not
I keep yelling to myself
Telling myself don't go
The text I get
maybe weeks later
I go again
I really can't continue
So quickly you always
forget ..
Why am , I so
quickly forgotten
I hope , I will figure
it out
And so quickly maybe
I will forget you to
© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏
8/26/2021
Persephone Aug 16
He was there
Had a cute smile,
a house, a car,
And time or two to spare
Told her she was perfect
Kind of showed he cared
Friends told them they looked happy together
Texted her now and then
Passion happened once in a while in bed
The kind of romance she thought she wanted
Believing she could shape him into a wonderful man
Zoe Mae Jul 25
I tried
I'm spent
I give up
I relent

I quit
I'll just stop
I can't stand
I just flop

I'm broke
I'm a mess
I've no *****
I regress

I've failed
I won't fight
I'm lost
I can't write
Zoe Mae May 28
What the eff is up with this site?
Why is it most people on the front page can't write?
Folks just babble on and on...
Or spit out a two line poem
Which is fine if it's a two punch knockout
Instead of sounding like a grammar school dropout
And why do certain things get so many views?
I can't seem to get more than two
Post crap if you want, if that's what people write
But they should give everybody a chance on this site
So I don't write about flowers or blather on about paint
So I don't pretend to be something I ain't
We should all have a voice here, The good and the bad
The silly, the happy, the lost and the sad
So come on hellopetry, give gutter poets a try
If you'd rise just a bit, we could meet eye to eye.
So sick of seeing the homepage full of crap poetry.
Bardo May 20
Is this it ? Is this (to be) the One ?
....No! It won't work, it never does... they never do
It works for others yes!
But no! not for me
Have seen too many false dawns now
I won't fool myself again with thoughts of...
Thoughts of El Dorado land.

Just because I've found a new way
And it'll feel good for a little while
But then it'll go just like they always go
Those nice feelings that come
They lie to me, they laugh at me
Make a fool of me every time
Like a mirage
Dancing tantalisingly in the distance
Only to disappear once you grow near
I know their not going to last, not going to stay
They'll not take me... not take me to El Dorado land.

But still, maybe... maybe I'll celebrate all the same
Just for the hell of it
Make believe that this was surely IT this time
Yea! I'll get a little drunk and pretend, pretend I've found it at last
What I've always been looking for,
All those years of looking and never finding
Feeding on scraps, vague intuitions, funny dreams and feelings...
Even though I know it's not gonna work
Knowing that behind it all it was always bound to fail
That I'll always be outside those gates looking in
Knowing I'm not invited.

                          II

They talked of a land that was wondrous, marvellous!
Not something out there but something here within
Of a strength that was golden, that was yours and yours alone
That could never be stolen
A great treasure that lay inside... that lay within
I read their books, I studied their maps
And then I set out, I set out for El Dorado land.

I followed them as best I could
I tried, I tried but seemed to lose every time
I know - I know I did it wrong
I always do it wrong
Wrong is where I live I think
Wrong is where I come from
Probably Wrong is where I belong.

I'm old now
I watched and waited too long
And nothing much really happened
And no one...no one came.

To have lived and never to have seen, never to have known
El Dorado land.
The Eternal Seeker who in the end never finds what he's looking for. A nice slice of Melancholy LoL Always been a bit of a Seeker, new philosophies and therapies, so many different ways. Trying to heal old wounds and become whole again. The search goes on.
Sydney Mar 25
you did nothing wrong
you are amazing
i just don’t want to be
in a relationship right now

i was the common denominator

fool me once - shame on you
fool me twice - shame on me
get broken up with for the same reason
four times - it’s a ******* pattern

how do I explain to someone new
that I am running out of pieces
of myself to give away

that i’ve stopped saving phone numbers in my phone until somebody proves
that they’re going to stay

that I don’t even know how to talk about myself
because the things that
make me - me
were the reasons
why everyone else left

that i haven’t figured out
what I’m doing wrong
and my track record
makes me not want to try

how do you tell someone new...
that you already know
they aren’t going to stay
Lost Mar 23
I feel like there’s something dormant in me
That I can’t seem to wake up
But sometimes when you touch me
It’s like hitting my funny bone

I feel a turbulence
I feel a ghost
I feel something
Trying to fight
To be acknowledged

I’ve done so much recovering
I’ve come so far
I’ve fought so much
But here we are

In your bed
Curled up to the edge
You try to comfort me
But I’m not hearing it

What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What’s wrong?

Why can’t I figure it out
And then move on?

I don’t understand
What the problem is
But I feel something
Occupying my head

It’s strange to feel full
When you haven’t ate
So why am I so upset
When I am somewhere so safe?

I don’t understand
I don’t understand
I tried writing that night
But I couldn’t understand

I picked up my phone
And stared at a blank note
I tried a few words
But only wrote,
“What’s wrong with me?”
And over I rolled

I went to the bathroom
I crawled out of my skin
My fist hit my thigh
But I don’t know why I did it

How infuriating
To feel so disturbed
And not know what it is
That’s making me hurt

I feel like there’s something
In the back of my head
Determined to pull me
Back down to the depths

I’ve recovered so much
I’ve put in the work
I have more to do
And there will always be more

I am at peace with that,
But for now I am upset
I feel like there’s screaming in my mind
But I can’t really hear it

All I hear tonight
Is static and clips
Little fragment
I am a tiny shard

I wake up tomorrow
I will wake up tomorrow
I wake up tomorrow
And tomorrow will come

Tomorrow
Today
Yesterday
Tomorrow

The days
happen
Happened
Happening

I happen all around them

I wonder when
I will wake up
Present?

Without one foot in tomorrow
Without one foot in yesterday
Without happening to fall
Somewhere in between

When will I wake up
Next to you
And feel again?

This numbness frightens me
You hit my funny bone
And it tingled
It reacted

But funny bones only feel funny
For a few moments in time
I’ve been reeling for days
And I feel like I’m fumbling around
Dancing around
The edge of something
B I G

Why can’t whatever it is
Just wake up
And let me feel it?
Sometimes , I wanna disappear
Sometimes , I wanna just
quit
I wonder why , I always
keep going
I don't see anything
in my future
that , I am so in need of
I am still alone
I am still struggling
It's these times
I really just feel the pain
burning my soul
How can one go through
so much pain , hurt
and still just keep living
Knowing there's more to come
Like a punch in the gut
Where's the reason
Where's the purpose
Why not just disappear
It's not like anyone would
notice
So maybe , I will just
Disappear

:: © Jennifer L DeLong 2/2021::
Pachi Nov 2020
Bling
Bling
...
Bling

The bombardment of messages was deafening
Every new message pounded at my head
As I wore a pillow over my head, protecting

Bling

My eyes closed shut as my body shook
Rage started to brew, but
I knew better than to look
At the betraying notifications, this much was true

Bling

Overwhelmed,
desperate,
frustrated,
disappointed­

Bling

"Patterns seemingly can't be broken"
Were some of the last thoughts on my brain
As I fell into a deep sleep in a sea of tears

Bling
Just some feelings I've felt as of late. Considering the pandemic and the lockdown, I haven't been taking care of myself all that too well in communicating with the outside world.

This is a short way of putting my feelings out there, but also an opportunity to try to connect with others who are feeling the same way at the moment. We got this. The year is almost over. Reach out to close friends and family members. Make new connections. And if you just need a stranger to vent out, message me. Keep pushing through :)
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