I remember winter
I long for her razor blade winds
Hands shoved in my pockets
Envious of the furred critters
A scarf and a thick coat
Snow like ghosts on a misty coast

Oh how my feet soak as I cross the frozen sky
To some, the cold air that strangulates
Is enough to make a hardy man want to die
Yet I embrace this dark, quiet state
Lost in her red lips flush against monochromatic nights
As she walks under the pale moonlight

My arm around her
With my coat draped over her
Winter is for her

My love, my passion, my hands

    ... my darkness, my past, my tears

I lie awake in my bed
all these uncontained thoughts
running around in my head.
Color and light,
ideas that are glaring and bright
seep into my head during the long nights.
But I'm restless, dark thoughts
pulling me down
and making me breathless.
So I take a sleeping pill,
wait for it to lift the weight
of the desperate dreams they ****.
But along with it,
the rainbow dims and flickers,
becoming a monochrome
that reminds me all to much
of the world we call home.

You remember the fire in black and white
Like an old movie
How the pictures on the wall burned
How they crumbled to the flaming ground
As if descending into the inferno
The fabrics singed,
The kitchen had fallen apart
The stairs to the second floor had collapsed
But the glass-eyed look she gave you
Was the only thing in colour.

Along the bustling roads
And throughout town
I wander alone on the streets
Like a ghost among crowds

All around I see friends,
grouped together like families
Oh, right, I almost forgot
It’s nearly christmas eve

Look around, all the happy faces
Cheerful, excited, hopeful
Things without meaning
At least, that is to me

They walk and talk
Run and hide and laugh
Blissfully unaware
Of the monochrome sky

Twilight, now
The road empty, the town quiet
I walk along the streets
Among lost spirits and lonely shadows

i don't really view the world as gray.
it's more like;
a series of monochrome days.

colors.
i know what they are;
but that doesn't guarantee that;
i understand what they mean.

i live through the eyes of other people.
i want to know.
i want to understand.
i want to see what i know they have.

because I feel nothing.
i have no opinions.
i have no ideas.
i have no confidence.

some days;
all I know is green.
not balance nor neutrality;
just envy;
pure perverse acidicity.

when I get furious,
i don't really see red.
i see black;
because I've probably ;
fainted from the shock.