all i think about is you,
how you might not be feeling well
and you’re probably quite overwhelmed
or how maybe you’re enjoying yourself
and smiling so brightly.
i wish i didn’t have to think of you,
someone who could think of someone else,
even if you’re so important to me,
there is someone else more important than me
and at the end of the day,
i’ll have to face it when you say,
it’s just not you.
i prepare myself-
i prepare myself for a far worse heartbreak,
i do not understand why,
should i simply just let go?
it feels so impossible,
letting go of yet another one of my loves
and i don’t want to just simply let go
because i want to hold on so tightly
and to stay for as long as i can.
my heart will have to accept the pain,
the pain it may possibly be given
but for now,
i’ll have to wait for you,
no matter how long it takes-
i will wait.
i can no longer be quick to assume,
i just want you to know that i apologize,
i apologize for dragging you down
and making you feel like it’s all your fault,
that you made me feel this way,
when i am the one that makes me feel this way-
i am the one making such assumptions,
i am the one that makes the tears fall,
i am the one who chooses to cut off people,
i am the one to make such a big deal of this,
soon you’ll realize that i am the one
and it was never ever you.
maybe she’ll convince you of that
because i really can’t,
it is like my words have no meaning
or you’re just not hearing them.
you’ll have to do what you have to do,
say what you have to say,
do not let the guilt wash over you that day
because it’s about who you really feel for
and if it’s just not me,
i’ll understand because it always can’t be me.
i say i’ll stay even when you decide
but i’ll try,
i’ll really try just for you.
you: an angel, battling himself, tearing himself apart over losing someone he loves and breaking their heart. poor angel, why does he have to deal with such difficulties like me? he’ll have to say goodbye the day he decides and a small piece of his heart leaves only to be put back together by the one he loves the most. it’ll hurt but it’ll go away, he will get over it and maybe so will i. no end to his suffering, this poor angel i will simply never stop loving no matter if there’re more angels because he is my angel. i hope he does not regret his decision when the time comes because my angel will have the one he truly loves for once.
i poured my heart and feelings out in this, i really hope whoever sees this, enjoys it!