Landlocked oceans
Killing trees
There’s nothing but the notion
Of worn out leaves
Gonna tear them apart
Before I run away
From the swimming
Sinking screaming
Of what follows

Buzzing buzzing
Lips curling
Fingers thrumming
There’s nothing in my mind
But that stupid silent humming
Gonna go insane
Without any weight
Above my head
Gonna go insane
Without any thoughts
Inside my brain
Gonna go insane
In a world where there’s 
Nothing inside sanity
But silence

Throw a bone to the dog
Because i’m hungry hungry
Quiet crunching sinew
White against yellow teeth
Worn against soft gums
Eating eating eating
Gone gone gone
Throw another bone to the dog

if our fingers brushed together
and you pressed yours to mine
so accidentally-on-purpose
they gently intertwined
and i looked at you
and you looked at me
and we smiled
i think maybe everything
would be just fine.

i missed you yesterday
and the day before
and the day before
when i hadn't seen you for a month.
time was a monster gnawing away
at the walls of its cage between my ribs,
its chains rusting and cracking with wear.
the present was a dreamer's life
of sleep and rest and zoning
because how else could i reach my perfect world
of us?
the past was a landmine,
every moment a missed opportunity
for more time with you.
and the future was repeated images
of when it was finally today,
hugging and seeing and knowing and having.

i missed you earlier
more than i ever had before
when i saw you for the first time in a month.
somehow time had freed itself
and i guess it saved our "us, maybe"
for its main course
because by the time i got to you
i could see in your eyes
that we were already gone.

Sometimes I wish that darkness was a human and that darkness was a cannibal.
That from the concave behind my eyes
wisps of black stretched out
and swallowed up my skin,
turned me upside down
and inside out
until I was inside it.
The skin or the darkness
I’m not sure.

when i laugh i look at you
and maybe it’s wishful thinking
but sometimes i think
you do the same, too.