I fell into the depths of despair
looked around me
and to my amazement,
you were still there.
I guess I can no longer assume
that you don't even care
so, thanks for not giving up
on me
Perhaps one day
I'll figure out
how to swim out to sea
and then you can
come in your boat
and rescue me...

I found myself floating in the dark dungeon
gasping for breath--for it was filled with murky water
and all I could do was float (I don't know how to swim)--
I opened my eyes and no light came through
only wet and cold and bone chilling pain
and I considered for a moment (or was it two or three)
of just letting go
and allowing the murkiness to swallow me--
all I would have to do
is stop trying to float
and allow myself to sink below
I so wanted to just allow it, to just let go
and suddenly I awake
and here I am, dry to the bone
and wondering why, god, why
am I so alone?

Turned on the television
for the first time in many a day
had to shut it off poste haste
as everything they had to say
was full of venom and hate
and horrors that I cannot understand
sometimes I wish I would have been born
in a far away distant land.

Perhaps I came into this realm
at the most inopportune time--
should have come along years long ago
way back before machine guns were involved in crime--
should have been here
during the horse and buggy days
working on a ranch somewhere
sowing seeds and baling hay...

I have to fight the urge each morning
to leave and run far far away
to run into the woods and find a tree
where I can hole up and stay
and forget the horrors and hatred all around
that seems to be
this lifetime's favorite and unending sound...

Turned on the television
for the first time in many a day
had to shut it off poste haste
as everything they had to say
was full of venom and hate
and horrors that I cannot understand
sometimes I wish I would have been born
in a far away distant land.

This is so unusual
so explicitly unreal
I'm not sure I like this lay out
this site--
can I be free to say how I feel?
Some how it just doesn't feel right
Is it okay to wonder
if ever I will again
feel at home here?
I hope someone can help me
to overcome my fear...

It's just the air hitting my eyes
I can't seem to keep them dry--
no, honestly, I'm not going to cry--
just because you said goodbye.
So go on now, leave me be--
I'll just go back inside, you see
and work on forgetting you and me
As I embrace the thought of being Free.

It's pulling me
this need
this ache
this grinding
all consuming addiction
that I thought I had overcome
only to find
that it's slowly
causing me to be
quite undone.

I crawl, literally crawl
to move away
to stop myself
from trying to say
please, just please
come back to me--
I used to hold you close
used to always have you
at my beck and call
and oh, my god,
what I would give
for just one more draw,
one more puff
a long, slow, lingering
inhale of your taste,
and yes, your scent--
too bad I'm broke
have not a dime
cause I spent
every penny I had left
on wine and bread
you see, I truly thought
my love for you was dead--
but now that you're not available at all--
I find myself wishing I could just
answer your lingering call...

I heard the birds chirping as I opened my eyes
And realized to my vast surprise
that I am no longer in a gloomy land
for I have you next to me holding my hand!
♥♥
(Life can be really good sometimes)
And now I think I'm done with this little rhyme...
;)

If, after the sun dies
you cannot stop
telling your evil lies--
just know that when
the moon shines on you
all of mankind
will know what's really true.
No more will anyone
listen to you
for the moonlight will reveal
the real truth that will shine through
and all who used to listen
will be DONE with YOU.