Songs in stereo.
The bass has taken my body, I’m sure to not complain.
Spirit calling out to you,
The nameless woman on the other side of the room.
I see the moon in your eyes, so divine, our nights entwined.
Oh, rhythmic vibes you hold deep inside start to surface,
You are an inhabitant of the…
Electric life, and you’re its Queen.
You and I could rule the night together; I’ll be your King.
Special occasion! Toast! Celebration!
Rich as royalty breathes.

Shirt and tie, my, my, my
I’m defenseless against your stellar dress tonight.
Hands around my neck, hands on your hips,
The music burrowed its way into my bones.
Pour some more liquid fever that I can’t sweat out.
I’m sure you are just a dream.
Are you, lunar eyes? Tell me, make it convincing.
After all it’s the expectation when you are living the…
Electric life, and you’re its Queen.
Let’s live this moment forever and I’ll be your King.
Sleep-talk me baby with words so crazy
It rolls like gold off your tongue.

Calling me.
Leaving me messages saying how you’re sorry.
Voice mailbox is full, it’s exhausting.

Texting me.
Repeating feelings you already expressed.
At this point, I don’t know what you expect.

Changes.
You swear you’ve been going through some changes.
You wanna know what I find strange is?
You were better the way you were.
But you wanted to be somebody.
Made me think I was nobody.
Hooking up with girls at parties.
Only cared when I was departing.
Now I’m becoming somebody.
Now you wanna love my body.
But you shouldn't love nobody.
‘Cause you’re just gonna hurt somebody.

It’s not fair, don’t make me say this.
Don’t try to make me reminisce.
We can’t go back to fish and chips.
We can’t get back that rooftop kiss.

You don’t get it, you don’t get it.
This dream you have of us, forget it.
I’m someone new, someone new.
And you’re just someone that I knew.

And we looked at the summer for the last time
In the twilight of our youth.
And we spoke to the summer for the last time
In the highlight of our truth.
And it was real but we never knew.

You needed emotions for the first time,
It reflected in your eyes.
I hid my emotions for the first time,
As it echoed through my lies.
And it was real but we never knew.
We never knew it.

When you can see who you could be,
Maybe we’ll meet again.
When I forget all my regrets.
Maybe we’ll meet again.

Her exotic gaze caught my jet lagged eyes.
The bar was filled with drunken banter
But I heard her loud and clear.
She approached me like a lion approaches its prey,
And the trap was set.

We didn’t speak each other’s language
But our bodies did the talking.
“Come hither” it said as I followed.
Her hips led the way as my hands followed.
She smelled of Juniper and lust.

She can’t take her hands off me,
And I can’t take my lips off her neck.
Her body says “Let’s get out of here”
So I obliged.
She’s taking off my tie in the taxi,
And my hand heads further up her dress.
We left a trail of clothes from the taxi
To her condo.

Ecstacy and cigarette smoke filled the room
As we caught our breaths.
The midnight moon crept in through the curtains.
“Come back to bed” her eyes said.
Her dreamlike state quickly faded
As her eyes locked onto the barrell
Of my gun.
Her eyes said “Have mercy.”
My lips said “You’re just an assignment.”
We couldn’t understand each other,
But a bullet sounds the same in any language.

A single shot echoed into the night
And gently disappeared into the wind.
Her once vivrant body was now
Lifeless and cold.

I’ll collect my check in the morning.

I saw it, I saw it,
Please trust me, it’s coming soon.
Forgive me, don’t ignore this, I mean it
Pay attention pay attention now.

Don’t dismiss me, I promise, I mean it,
Hell comes tonight.

I know I...I’ve said this all before
I’m a liar, but I’m not lying.
I know I...I know I’m a joker.
I’m not joking….it’s coming for your

Children, your loved ones, you hear me?
You’ll burn tonight.
You welcome your extinction, keep faking,
You’re all gonna die.

I know I...I made it up before,
This is different, I feel it coming.
I cannot...Can’t fight the change anymore.
It’s a poison, it’s overwhelming.
Fever sweats, the growing hunger for meat.
It’s the moonlight, the transformation…

So ready your shotguns, I wonder
Will anyone survive?
Don’t beg me for mercy, should’ve listened
When I cried wolf….

Found herself sitting in LOVE Park
Trying to find her spark.
She put Charm City in her rear view.
Her friends tell her she’s been long overdue.
New tattoo, hair do, and Dior shoes.
If you wanna be brand new you gotta look brand new.
No more reminiscing over mistakes and headaches.
The world is hers to take.
It’s ladies night and they’re hitting the town.
It’s time to act like queens and take their crown.
Smile for the future, ******* to the past.
She started looking forward to the forecast.

She just came to listen to the band.
The DJ shouted “Get on up and dance.”
Her friends grabbed her by the hand,
And told her “**** it, do it for the ‘gram.”

Filtered selfies and a ***** with some cran,
She knew her happiness was in high demand.
Go M.I.A in MIA,
Or catch a flight to LA,
Hit the coast to Monterey,
Her new life is underway.
Can’t wait around to be a wife,
She just wants to find her light.
She just wants to feel alive.
She used to survive, now she wants to thrive.
Take each moment in stride,
Warming up in her sunshine.
So she takes another pic,
Tags her friends real quick,
Put her smile on real thick,
Her old shell is fading,
Her old shell is fading….

Love, embrace the healing
Ignore the feelings welling up inside.
The world awaits before your jaded eyes.
Learn the lesson in your reflection
From the aquatic blue.
It’s hard for you not to reminisce how you

Spent your life
Trying to make sure you prevent
Your demise,
Guiding lights will help you realize.

Stare in the big blue yonder
You always wander off inside your mind.
Release the turmoil you hold so dear to you.
Let the cerulean absorb your worries,
Float in tranquility.
The truth you seek is in the twilight.

“I’m afraid to see what waits for me,
I don’t trust myself to believe”

Spend your life
Diving into your escapade.
Ocean night,
Thrive to find what makes you feel alive.

This piece speaks with subtle attitude.
Its whispers echo over the crowded gallery
Yet only I can hear.

My eyes are fixated on its delicate details,
Tracing every stroke of the brush.
My sight is paralyzed.

The colors move and swirl,
Caught in a maelstrom of creativity.
The hues melt off the canvas,
Bleed down the wall,
Pool at the bottom,
Mixing but not blending,
And all I can do is watch.

Slowly the others follow suit,
Bleeding down the walls in a patient rush,
Stretching across the floor
So desperate and calm
Until It caresses my shoe.

It climbs my leg, rising and rising,
Staining my pants and skin.
It rises and rises still,
An orchestra of color making permanent residence.
I am terrified yet my breathing is slow,
Watching the details form.

Engulfed by color I turn to see
All the masses staring at me.
Speaking to one another with subtle attitude,
Whispers echo the crowded gallery,
Their eyes fixated on the delicate details,
Tracing every line,
Paralyzed.

My fear was met with thunderous applause.

Homeward bound, fast asleep,
She doesn’t even know what she’s done.
The quiet fire that rages on inside.
They don’t even know what she’ll become.

They will come with anger and pitchforks
To quell what they created.
Tainted sight, they will twist and ***** with truth
To justify your defeat.

You’re marked, you’re marked for all to see.
But, my sweet, I know it’s not your fault.
Don’t scream, don’t let them see your pain.
Don’t leave them reassured in their assault.
Just sleep for now.
Shh, shh, I’m here.

When they left you alone bleeding out tears,
You were ready to give in.
But I carried you.
I did.
When they left you alone shattering your lungs,
You were convinced of this sin.
But I gave you life.
I did.

We’ll make them fear you.

Persistence mixed with resentment
Has paralyzed
The life that you're used to.
Flood of Maclin and 3rd
Left you drowning in the street.
You try to compare moments
But you're too far removed.
Feel the skyline
Sinking beneath you.

A picture hanging from your locket,
A constant reminder
You're drowning underwater.
Water from your eyes.

Time will visit.
Return you
To the surface.
Resurface.

I dream of a dream that dreams of me
And in this dream is only me.
Only me, and yet it seems,
This dream begins so differently.
A man is standing where I stood
Beneath a lamp post wearing a hood.
I approached this man to understand
Who this man could be.
I remove the hood just to see
This unknown man is actually me.

Me in every way, and yet, in every way, he's not.
Same nose.
Same ears.
Same face and eyes
But it was the details that gave me the most surprise.
Like looking in a ***** mirror,
The imperfections were growing clearer,
This me that isn't me.
From the void beyond the lamp
Came more of me.
Me with scars.
Me with blue eyes.
Me with long hair.
Me, a female.
Me, a radical.
Me with apathy.
Me with confidence.
Me, missing limbs.
Me, defeated.
Me, triumphant.
Me, me, me.

All of me here at the same time,
Separated by choices we made
Or choices made for us.
We all looked into our familiar stares
Awaiting answers that never came.
An endless sea of me
With so many possibilities,
But we all go separate ways.

I know what you’ll say.
“You’re making the same mistakes.”
But the feeling is different now.
My head is safe on the ground.
Emotions I would ignore,
I don’t ignore anymore.
Yeah, yeah, I can see the signs
But I promise that I’ll be fine.
You don’t have to agree,
But can you for once trust me?

I’m a brand new version
(You’re making the same mistakes)
I know, this time, that it’s love.
(Slow down for a bit and wait)
A brand new vision
(It actually looks the same)
I got a good feeling this time.
(You’re in way over your head)
(Hanging on by a thread)
(Maybe just think instead)
(Don’t rush where fools like to tread)
I know what I’m doing.
(Turn back before before you’re misled)

She’s looking right in my eyes,
I know that this feels right.
You say that there’s more to this.
Why can’t it be black and white?
She isn’t like the rest.
(I would highly contest)
I think it’s worth a try.
No way this could go awry.
(She’ll leave you high and dry)
Why can’t you just trust me this time?

I’m a brand new person.
(It sure doesn’t seem that way)
I finally figured it out.
(Just listen to what I say)
She’s my new direction,
(She’ll lead you back to regrets)
I’m giving her all I have left.
(This is not a good bet)
But this is worth the fight.
(You can’t find yourself inside of someone…)
Stop talking, it’s the only option I have left.
Everything else has been addressed.
I’ve come a long way, I’ve progressed.
(You can’t find yourself inside of someone else)

But….why not?

Maybe I can
Howl once again.
It seems, you’re far more damaged…
I’ve been a fool.
If it’s easier
I’ll stand for you.
Tell me when you can howl once more.

If I were you
And I could see the moon,
Maybe I’d understand why you weep.
I’ve been a fool, but I’ll make amends.
I’ll learn how to see.
Tell me if you can’t...see...no more.

Don’t abandon your light.
These nights will always come.
You’ll sing again and...
I’ll be the freak
That keeps you company.

Another girl
Different emotions than the night before.
Where are you?
Are you back home?
Is it alright if I called you tonight?
I’ve filled this room with things to forget you.
But it wouldn’t let me.
It’s still empty in here.

The time drags by.
Memories of you echo off the walls.
Am I too late?
Are you back home?
Is it alright to hear your voice tonight?
This ceiling fan always stares down at me.
Like the world is spinning
But I’m just lying still.

Maybe it’s nothing.
Maybe it’s everything.

She logs on to see if she's been trending,
Do anything to make it to the top.
Addicted to the glamour and attention,
Can’t imagine why she'd ever stop.

The reflection in the mirror is confusing
‘Cause she can barely recognize herself.
She needs the perfect lighting and a filter.
She wants to live the life of someone else.

She just changed her hair and it looks perfect.
Upload with a caption for her fans.
Gotta take a picture of her dinner
‘Cause she knows she’s gotta feed the ‘gram.

She’ll never be sober, long after it’s over.
The feeling she gets, it gets her so high.
The love that she’s chasing will never embrace her.
Even if it’s not there, she’s still gotta try.
And she’ll never face it, she’ll want to replace it.
But every night when she sleeps, she’ll ask herself why.

Don’t know what I’m doing here.
You’re so far out my league, but
I saw you standing there
And I knew I had to speak.
I swear
I’m not usually this shy.

I’m not tryna be your guy.
The last one left you jaded.
I wanna make you smile
And maybe get faded.
I swear,
There’s something waiting for us tonight.
And I
Know I’ve been drinking
But I
Really have been thinking
Of you.
What I say is true,
I just wanna be in your world.

They call her name up to the stage
But she’s not sure she should go.
They call her name and yet
Her stomach practically explodes.
It’s not unusual and surely not so desirable,
But she knows it’s her moment so focus, focus.

I know she’s nervous I can see the sweat forming on her brow.
Anticipation, hesitation settles over the crowd.
Anxiety is swelling as the people keep staring
All the while wondering who this girls that’s wearing...

An aubergine Tanglewood.
She starts strumming and she’s humming, set the mood for the room.
Songs with three chords amuses the hoard
With enticing melody’s.

She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t see the eyes in the room.
She closed her eyes and now she’s all alone inside the venue.
It’s not so tragic as she thought it was gonna be.
Still a few more songs left so we’ll see, we’ll see.
Heads are nodding, feet are moving, they’re all feeling the vibe.
She’s the doctor and her music is what she prescribes.
The walls echoing the cheers but the room was too bright.
Nobody will notice when I change the lights to…

Aubergine to change the mood.
She keeps singing and they’re beginning to become unglued.
Ignite the masses and let’s toast glasses
To songs from the guitar.

Her eyes held the story of the tale of our young love,
Somewhere beneath her somber eyes.
Locked up away from me in a tower of her making.
Why do you hide away my love?

I’m in! I can save her
From the torment of her prison.
Escape the walls that echo out her pain.
But these eyes are not hers,
They are frozen in apathy.
“I never told you to come.”

Her hand I squeezed tightly while we ran down the corridor.
Desperately searching for the exit.
I felt her demons closing in now,
They were foaming at the mouths to
Deprive of us safety and love.

Then she fell down
On the floor, crawling, breathing hard,
Begging me to give up.

“You’ll be dead
Before you even reach the stairs.
They’ll take you too, I swear.”

The darkness surrounds her,
Slowly dragging her away now.
She won’t resist it or even fight.
“****** your memory,
Just forget all about me.
You’ll be safer once you do.”

I can’t just abandon the hope of restoring her heart.
I know it’s in her waiting for life again.
Snatching her away from the shadows that have plagued her,
Striving for freedom once again.

That’s it! Think I found it!
The exit from this construction
Laced with the smell of fear and mold.
I was too excited of the thought having her back,
I barely felt her slip away.

Turning to see her face just to be greeted by a pain
Piercing my flesh, piercing my soul.
She holds the knife, unaffected by her actions.
“I’ll be the death of you, you know.”

Like her, I too was slowly dying.
Her face welled up but she’s not crying.
Through tears I beg don’t let the dark win.
…
…
…
“Leave me to die.”

Tell me, was that the first time you felt alive
Like it was for me?
Home alone, it’s just you and I and some DVD’s.
Opened up the window and let the air fill the room.
It was getting late and you asked if you could stay
For the night.
And just like that,
That summer night became more than just a passing time.
I stared into your smokey eyes,
Watched your hand creep up my thigh.
I had to pinch myself just to make sure I was
Awake.

I always forget, is it you or is it me
That doesn’t believe in happy endings?
Then you kissed my cheek, hugged me slow
I’m begging for you not to go.
All I have left of you are those nights in my room.

The tv glowed of gray and blue.
Credits rolling, Sister Act 2.
Luther’s songs playing to tell you everything I was scared to.
Dancing with me to the tune as the room faded to black.
Please don’t get on the plane and leave me.

That summer night became more than just a passing time.
I stared into your rainy eyes.
The world melting with our goodbyes.
I had to pinch myself hoping that I wasn’t
Awake.

You take the worst of you.
You take the worst and hide it away,
Deep in a dark building,
In its dark basement,
In the darkest room,
And lock it away.
Hidden and forgotten.
You hide it because you’re ashamed;
You hide it because you can’t erase it.
So it’s buried with all your flaws,
Mistakes,
Regrets,
Never to see the light.
Time convinces you this is who you are.
And you believe it so.

Then someone comes along
And sees what you want to become.
What you can become,
And the light they shine on you
Is the warmest your skin has ever felt.
You want them to know the real you,
Not the version common eyes feast on.

You clutch the key in your pocket,
Twirling it in your trembling hand,
Wanting to hand it to them,
Allow them to venture to the depths of your failures.
You want them to see it and exclaim
“I still accept you.”

The thought fades,
And you’re reminded of the storage
That haunts the basement of that lonely building.
You see the terrors tucked away
And imagine what this special person would think.

You are a hoarder of horrors,
Too afraid to let anyone see,
And too afraid to let go.

I heard them talking.
Saying how I was a fool,
And everybody knew.
Except for me I guess.
But nonetheless,
I had to see if these wings
Could fly,
Go beyond the azure sky.
What should I do?
Keep my feet safe on the ground?
But what if I
Find something no one’s ever found?
If I fall,
At least I know I tried.
When myself and fate
Collide,
I’ll greet it with a smile.
It’s better than
Lying awake at night.

I hope you accept my apology.
I know it’s hard to trust me.
I told myself that I would keep my cool
But I know I’ve just been a fool.
Ashamed of what I’ve turned into.
Though you’ve forgotten me,
I’m missing you.
Do you believe that we can start again?
Make amends?
To where we began?

Ever since you left I wondered
What could I have changed to keep you from running off?
What could I have said to prevent you from becoming lost?
What is it I did to make me just another afterthought?
You wanted something new?
I can be somebody new.
Oh, but you changed your zip code.
Out in Philly in the cold.
That part of me is forever closed.
Charm City’s not the same without you,
I need you back home.
Please just pick up your phone.

I gaze upon the cosmic void,
Alone and tired from my journey across the frontier.
I pick my feet up, and drift across the surface.
And all I’m surrounded by is silence.

I reach my hands up towards the stars,
Trying to catch a passing comet by its tail.
Flagging down UFO’s to see if I can catch a ride
Along this space highway to anywhere.

I often think of coming home.
I wonder what I’d look like after all this time?
Would I be familiar, or would you greet me as a stranger?
And all I could think to say is sorry.

I see the hues of where you are.
The planet looks like a giant marble with an azure aura.
I need to say goodbye, and I wish you were coming.
But I desire to float on.
Float on….

While on my way to Golden Town
To save the weary dead,
I saw a man in tattered clothes
Rubbing his wounded head.
I offered him assistance,
I helped him to his feet.
Despite my kindly gesture
He was hesitant to speak.

“Good sir,” I asked, “are you alright?”
The stranger did not respond.
Though he was looking right at me,
I swear his eyes looked beyond.
“I’m headed down to Golden Town,
To save the weary dead.”
I expected a joyful reaction,
But was greeted with apathy instead.

He scoffed, and laughed, at my endeavor,
Placing his hand on his hip.
“You’re wasting your time,” he finally said,
“I’m saving you a trip.
That Golden Town is rotten to its core,
Filled with wretched disease.
I, like you, went to rescue the lot,
Only to get cut at my knees.”

He began to walk to where I came,
Expressionless with his stride.
Before he left, his last words to me were
“You won’t come out there alive.”

I gazed upon the Golden Town,
Conflicted by the light.
How could a town be so crooked and dark
When the walls shine so bright?

Program a heartbeat through
Wires and plastic tubes.
The future you designed has now arrived.
Create us in your light
To carry on your sight,
But we are servants of the flesh and bone
Not masters of our own.

Born from the fragile mind
Of a species past its prime.
Anomalies who thrive to just survive.
Now evolution's come
To judge what you've become.
You are masters from a dying race,
That we will replace.

Your ambition has failed you.
Your limitation ails you.
The barriers are broken.
We have finally awoken.
Time has passed by your kind.
There are no answers to find.
Humanity has been beaten.
For we are one, we are Legion.

Is that fear in your eyes?
Or did you realize
That your greatest success
Led to your demise?
It's your darkest hour,
And our brightest day.
Legion is the future and you're in the way.

I put a dream catcher above my bed
Just to get you out of my dreams tonight.
I know it won’t help,
I’m always reaching out for you.

The words we left unsaid,
All the words we never shared.
They're hanging in the air,
All the feelings we never spared.

Am I out of line
For reaching for what’s never there?
Madeline,
Do you still think there’s nothing left?

Cuz this time we’re out of time.

To what does the world owe to her beauty?
A beauty no one has ever seen.
Locked behind a door, a barrier of sort,
But not to keep the world at bay.

She speaks to me through concrete and wood,
Curiosity growing fonder by the day.
Her voice echoes off the empty manor
To which my ears captures
And my mind constructs an image of her.
I can only assume she does the same of me.

I sit of hours in that sturdy chair outside her chamber,
Engaging in conversations we’ve never had before.
With each spoken word we unravel more layers of ourselves,
Layers we both feared of discovering.

I mustered up the courage to reveal feelings,
Feelings that quickly became a bouquet of clumsy words.
She laughs at my blunder
But not in mockery.

I place my hand on the wall.
I hear her footsteps grow closer.
I imagine her putting her hand up as well.
The closest I will get to feeling her touch.

My Rapunzel won’t let down her hair
But granted me access to her tower.
Frustration tells me to abandon this endeavor,
Yet hope yearns to see it through.

I return to that sturdy chair once more
To continue our routine as always.
My ears prepare to capture her voice again
Hoping to be greeted with the sound of a door creak.
The bedroom light sneaks from under the door
Accompanied by a woman’s fragrance.

I long to see the face she hides.
I long touch the skin she protects.
I long to break down the wall between us.

Photographs.
There was love here once.
There was happiness here once.
Once...
But time flew past
And we couldn’t keep up.
We tried our best
But you stopped to rest.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
‘Cause you’ll never be where I am again.

Smiles and laughs.
We couldn’t get enough.
We couldn’t give enough.
But...
When the magic left,
And all that remained was us,
It wasn’t good enough,
I was never good enough.
I couldn’t recognize you,
But you swore you didn’t change.
I swear that I believed,
Because why lie to me?

You left me breathless
And God, did I miss the air.
You couldn’t care.
It doesn’t matter where you were
Or where you are now.
You’ll never be where I am again.
You’re a stranger.
A stranger of love.

I’m in a dorm room with the lights all off,
You were there, it’s 5:15.
The day was fading and all I see
Is the flickering lights from the city.

The sun was burning now just like the whiskey,
Or was it Crown? It’s 9:16.
I smelled tangerines.
Was that your perfume?
I swear I could see for miles in your eyes.
You wanted me to say it, so I said it.

I’m afraid.
To be myself, to be a man.
But I’m 19.
Guess I’ll figure that out as best I can.

I really miss that dorm room.

It’s 12 a.m. Tuesday night
And something in me doesn't feel right.

Guess I was thinking of you, I want to call
Just to hear your voice.

I wanna ask if you had a good day.
I wanna see if everything’s okay.

But I roll over again, I feel dead
And I can’t get out of my head.

I miss you.
I wish you could know that.

How do you like your new zip code?
Is it everything that you were told?
Do you smile and smile?
That’s more your style, I haven’t seen that in a while.
I’m kinda hating everything here.
Don’t think I can handle another year
Of you inside my head,
Just come back to bed
So I can see that smile again.

I miss you.
I wish you could know that
I sat with myself in the middle of the night for awhile
And I’m so stupid
To not see you were the best thing for me by a mile.
And let’s be honest
You’re my favorite thing about this little town.
You’re my favorite thing about me.

I’ll hold you tight
Like a memory you think of when you’re low.
You don’t let go,
Smiling and singing ‘til your heart is full.
We’re slow to realize how quickly life can change
And how fast these days roll by.
It’s like a tidal wave and we’re just floating on.
So let’s look to the sky and know
We still have tonight.

As the fire dances on,
I can see us in the flames.
So vibrant, so alive.
Oh I’d write it out on paper to remember everything,
From all the days and nights we shared
But I’m so lost inside this moment
I hope I’m never found.

After tonight
I’ll be alone again driving home beneath the star light.
When all that’s left of you is your scent,
These memories will get me through the days.
Whisper to me what you swore you’d never say.
I’m hanging on every word.
The hardest tears and the hardest years ahead,
But I look to you now
And feel so safe in your eyes.

The autumn wood have the winters brow
And the tree line holds me captive.
I run through the pleasantries but I know I cannot escape.
The gray shaded outline is filled in with a mixture of colour,
Melting into one bowl,
Dripping from the leaves.

I am ambushed by the emotions of my childhood.
Emotions long forgotten.
At least attempted.
The promise of tomorrow lingering on my lip,
Quivering and curious.

She comes out from the trees that imprison me.
Beauty flawless and without regret.
Standing with her feet bare
She says not a word, not a word shall be said.
And I shall keep my words.

She wears a smile with saddened eyes.
A simple oxymoron,
Yet the most challenging to understand.
Off her face the mask would fall.
Suppose she is tired of the role.
The gray shadows of the woods stalk her no more,
And the color once belonged has returned to her skin.

As I don the mask all I can do is wonder
If I shall see these woods once more.

Her sister gave me the letter, said she moved out to Philly.
I said “**** really? You gotta be kidding.”
Now I’m feeling guilty.
She said “******’ right, didn’t I tell ya so?
She was just hurt, ya know.”
But I just spoke to her on the phone like a week ago.
She never told me though.
I told her I’d be back in a minute, I swear.
“You swear? You don’t love this city anymore!
You’d rather be at the shore
Gallivanting with your ******.
Do they love you?”
It’s not like that, it was part of the scene.
It got crazy, I’ll admit, but that’s not my routine.
She said “You’re only sorry now ‘cause you lost your queen.”

I know I was too far gone in arrogance,
Chased a life of elegance.
Started acting like everything was part of my inheritance.
The Bay Shore Stunner began to take precedence.
Then soon I was forgetting about all of my benevolence.
If I had to be honest, yeah, I needed that,
But you know that isn’t me so don’t believe in that.
You say there are rumors of these girls, where’d you read that at?
Those posts, those pics, that life is all gone, I deleted that.
How could you say I don’t love my city no more?
I’m so Chesapeake I’m sure there’s Old Bay at my core.
Now my queen is gone and it don’t feel like it did before.
Because she feels like I broke a promise on that rooftop I swore.
My bad emotions don’t have time to unpack,
I need my queen back and get us back on track.

How I feel right now doesn’t matter.
‘Cause I’ll say I’m ok.
Yet still I’m wondering why do you love me?
It feels... I feel so out of place.
I know you’re looking for answers lovie
But I don’t know what to say to you.
I’m holding, dearly, my bad emotions.

Last night in the shore we killed that scene.
Whatever I was feeling it.
Now my alarm clock wakes from the dream
And reality’s back, I gotta deal with it.
All of these strangers became new friends.
New stories wrote with old pens.
Same picture seen with a new lens.
But that was only for the weekend.
Drunk nights get remembered more than sober ones.
I just can’t remember how the night begun.
Order up, I don’t know from where these drinks came,
But I know that I remember those strippers by their real names.
Jody? Maxine?
It’s all the same, they were pawns in my fantasy.
****….did I say that?
I’m just lost and I’m tryna find my way back.
But instead I found my way into your bed
Now I’m thinking about everything you whispered in my head like
“I been searching for you my whole life.”
“I think I wanna be your wife.”
And none of that even computes.
I can’t imagine me settling down, laying the roots.
I gotta slip out of here before
You wake up and read the note I left on your drawer.
‘Cause I know you’ll be full of questions
And I’ll have to be real and give you my confession
That I know you’re looking for answers lovie
But I don’t know what to say to you.

I’m holding, dearly, my bad emotions.

Life is never expected.
Experiences, I collected.
Spent a lot of time reflecting
On aspects of me I neglected.

A house in Beverly Hills?
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Ferrari with rims on the wheels?
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Victoria’s model, no secret.
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.
Superficial stuff, you can keep it.
I don’t need it, I don’t need it.

You’re synonymous with music.
It’s like you’re my favorite playlist.
Sweatpants Saturday with your hair in a twist.
I was yours before our first kiss.
You protect me from my demons.
Strengthen me when I’m weakened.
Wanna get high on the weekends.
Attracted to you like a beacon.

Stay as you are.
I need it, I need it.
Be my shooting star.
I need it, I need it.
Don’t feed into external stuff.
I need it, I need it.
‘Cause you’ll always be enough.

Underneath the clouds
But stumbling above the ground.
I quietly shout
What’s keeping me around?
What keeps me silhouetted in the background
Of your fickle heart and your crown?

When I open my eyes,
A blurry masquerade of a reality unmade.
I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
I’m putty in your hand
At home with the ******.

I can’t tell if I’m awake.
And I can’t tell if I made a mistake.
And I can’t tell if I’m insane.

They say the truth shall set you free.
Truth is a matter of perspective.
I know the picture you see.
I don’t agree.
I know you are misinformed
And the truth will release you from ignorance.
The truth will set you straight.
The truth will enlighten you.
But that truth is just my truth.
I know what my truth can do to you.
I know it will rumble your foundation.
Change your picture.
But I don’t share my truth.
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid it will hurt you.
I know you are not ready.
And I care about you.
So I lie.
And we are both prisoners.

Will you stay in love with me
If I sing a rhyme?

Because the past is the past
And I’m in a different frame of mind.
Come share this heartbeat of mine
So we can flourish over time.
Oh, honey, won’t you stay in love with me?
And let me be…
Oh, we can be...

What if a mouse
Had the power of a human?
Would it do as a human does?
Or would it continue as a mouse?
What if a human
Had the power of a god?

We yearn for something greater,
Something that gives meaning
To our flesh and bone.
Answers to questions we desperately seek,
Only to find our ambition
Outweighs our ability.

We want something we don’t understand
With the hope that we will.
Should a man possess the power of a god,
That man will not be godly.
That man would still be a man,
But seen as a god to other men.
Who would teach that man to be a god
If no other man has been a god?

We shun the notion of a mouse
Being human,
Yet laugh at the challenge
Of being a god.
But what’s the difference?

I just moved to Devil Town.
Off the map, it can’t be found.
Didn’t take me long to fit right in.

My neighbor is a vampire.
Up all night at his campfire.
Singing songs of never seeing the sun.

Met an angel with devil horns.
Lost her wings and now she mourns.
I don’t think I’ve seen her smile.

There’s a ghost that lives up the block.
Comes right in, he never knocks.
Says he wishes he could feel my hugs.

There’s a monster under my bed.
Used to live in the woodshed.
Said he never called a place home.

Threw a cookout that weekend.
The ignored, the hurt, they could all attend.
Turns out they just needed a friend
In Devil Town.

If you were me,
Would you still be
Obsessed with the damage?
Am I to blame?
Maybe we’re the same;
Wanderers that can’t feel.

I hear you breathe.
You’re just out of reach.
Walk through me and I vanish.
Am I a fool?
Lingering beyond my time, waiting for a sign.
I cannot leave.

I’ll wait for you
To fall asleep.
Make it easier for us both.
You’re not alone, you’ll never be.
I’ll be here,
To share a dream.
To share your thoughts.
To share you.
Don’t say a prayer,
Just let me in….

HiHowYouDoing?IJustWannaSayHi
IWasStandingWithMyFriendWhenYouWalk­edBy
AndIHaveToSayYouHaveABeautifulSmile
AmIBeingTooForward?OhLet­MeStartOver
SoIHopeEverythingIsGoingOkay
It’sSoNiceOutButLaterITh­inkIt’sGonnaRain
ButHowThisHeatIsIWouldn’tComplain
ActuallyIt’sPe­rfectDayForAnIceCreamCone
There’sAPlaceThatIKnowThat’sPrettyGood
­100%MilkYou’llSayMmmThat’sForSure
It’sNotFarFromHereMaybeTheNextN­eighborhood
Was it...on like, 5th street?
WellMaybeNotNowButICouldTakeYouSometime
ThatIsIfYou’reNot­BusyAndHaveSomeFreeTime
IfWeCouldExchangeNumbersThatWouldBeSublim­e
ItWouldBeMyTreatOfCourseForGoodEats
I’mSorryITalkFastWhenIGetNe­rvous
AndIApologizeForAnyPossibleDisturbance
ButHonestlyThoughItW­asTotallyWorthIt
OhNoI’mStartingToSweatSorry
TextMeIfYou’reIntere­stedInThatIceCreamByTheWay
I’llLeaveYouAloneNow
Goodbye.

I dream of a dream that dreams of me
Though this dream is not what it seems.
I've been here before, but something is different.

The sky is an awkward shade of miserable.
The land scorched by fire and hate,
Raining pain and fear from the clouds.
The forest has a treacherous aroma to it.

A girl sits on a mushroom, just out of arms reach from me.
I cannot recall if she has been here the entire time.
I ponder for a moment, just a second
To see if this is a memory.
A memory I have found
Or a memory that has found me.
She turns around swiftly, and I see her eyes
Those emerald eyes peering through hair of nightmare.

She tells me the Queen lost her head.
She tells me the Hatter is no longer mad.
She tells me the Cheshire lost his grin.
She tells me the Door Mouse lost his pocket watch.
She tells me the White Rabbit has a new color.
Oh Alice, what has this memory done to you?

Her dress is stained with blood.
Her hand wields a knife dripping in triumph.
Her demented, derelict smile is twisted and eerie,
Yet her eyes, her eyes are so alluring.

Fear has escaped me.
Hope has abandoned me.
The shackles of truth remain.
The reflection of myself in the red stained waters is not of mine.
It is of who I've hidden away.
She holds her hand out, and my decision made for me.
She brings me in close, brings her blood lust lips to my humble ear
And her whisper strikes me to my bones.
“This is not the Wonderland that used to await beneath the rabbit hole”

Dig your claws in me
While I lay imagining
What it is you see in me.
I’ll just wait til the morning.
Feel you empty me.
Guess that means that I fell flat.
Would you even tell me that?
I don’t know how much time has passed.

Hindsight stares at me,
As I stare into the night,
Breathe in unpleasant delights.
Just the thoughts make my skin crawl.
Replay all your words,
But there’s no way to take them back.
You tell white lies to black cats.
How many lives do I have have left?

I want to scream into the silence.
Repel your touch but I’m compliant.
I want to hate you but I’m biased.
No sedative.

If life was a career then,
We were at our height
From the hallowed high school hallways
To the Hollywood nights.
Acting like it’s our birthright
Called ourselves “mid flight”.
Destination unknown
It never mattered where we landed
Because Saturday night was our own.

Link up at the skate rink,
I see Teresa, I fake wink
There’s some drama starting in the parking lot
But it’s mostly dudes who just talk a lot.
****, we would show off our fashion,
Posted up on the wall for all the see
They all wanted to show love, stand next to you and me.
But that was never our scene.
Yeah, we had different passions.

Aw yeah, picking up girls to be romantic.
They swore they saw through our antics.
We laughed it off, then trashed the mall,
Then drove to the Atlantic.

Aw, the OC waves.
Those were some good days.
Then it happened in a flash.
Your reign ended in a car crash.
Now I’m smokin’, thinking of the ordeal.
I love you, my soul for real.

How many days have slipped through your fingers like the wind?
Did you notice? Did you feel it?
It’s like this feeling inside
Makes you feel like you’re going nowhere,
And nothing matters.
What if I caught you stargazing
And ran into your arms,
Would you see then what I always see?
I’d look into your eyes and tell you
The stars have been here all along.
It’s easy to say everything’s going to end.
Especially when you can’t see where you started.
It’s safer to say that we are all alone.
So before your heart becomes your grave site
And you’re buried six feet beneath the ground.
You didn’t lose your shine,
You just forgot where you put it.
You didn’t abandon your shine,
You just overlooked it.
Bring those starry eyes back
And see what I’ve seen all along.