sensitive content



I'm gonna get myself into trouble one of these days
I thought I wanted drinks
Maybe I want pills
I've always been drawn to anything that'll make my head foggy
Pull thick clouds into my mind
Slow my racing heart
Numb my body

I don't always get that
I have my various ways
I could easily ruin my life with drugs
It's enticing
Something better than having to live
Not without its own pains
But at least sometimes they'd go away

And it's then that I find myself
Wrapped in a foggy bliss
Nearly unable to move
Can't think
Barely breathing
And that's how I like it
I almost thought I'd die
The thought didn't seem to bother me
Not with my system flooded
With whatever it is I've decided to take
No... there's a kind of peace in deciding
You have nothing left to lose

You wanted me to “feel better”
I do feel better
After popping a few pills
It’s not Xanax, but it’ll do
I feel it slowing me down...
My eyelids grow heavy......
Why am I always wondering
What’s my limit?
What happens if I take a few more....?
I know... I know I just want to abuse something
And if it’s myself, even better

I feel dangerous
Hatred, anger, adrenaline
Racing through me
Maybe I’ll take some pills
And have a drink
Just for fun
Let’s see.

It’s funny how quickly
You can swallow pills
I wondering how daring I could be
How many before I sleep
I can feel them in my limbs
The looseness off my arms
Weight of my eyelids...
But it’s not enough
I’m not numb enough yet
I’m still awake
Put me to sleep
I don’t wanna be awake
I DON’T WANT TO BE AWAKE

They kept me from my knife
Little white pills won over metal
Cause I can’t remember what was wrong
Idk why I was upset
But idk
Maybe I’ll just cut myself anyway
Just to ******* feel it
Maybe I just want to
Maybe I just want to bleed
Maybe I’ll just take one more....
Then watch me bleed

I just took so many drugs
I hope they make me ill
I hope they make me sleep
Just... just let me drift away
I’ll be someone else
She said I could take another...
Why do want to keep taking more...