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731 · Feb 2016
Petals
Leila Valencia Feb 2016
A whisper of delight
Petals of softness
The cloth of beginning
The ribbon that ties the knot
Will become a beauty

A mother's touch heals the wound
And her mouth circles their hearts
A smile is a delicate stream that warmths the soul
A bud that is bursting
Will become kind

Their breathe touches the sky
Lights the stars and sparkles the water
A thorn will become if the soul is trenched with hatred
But he will learn that the soil is the most beautiful place to grow beauty and there it will be, the petals will fall
Hit the ground and leave behind what once was
728 · Mar 2015
sheer temperance
Leila Valencia Mar 2015
Like a poem made for devils
like a hanging tear that begs to halt until forgiven

The soured lips
the sun sipped mouths
scratch print to a sea of grass
Its sun tipped and drowned into everyone

The warp and the fast paced move.
Eyes will sound asleep into the blur
725 · Apr 2016
Reminiscent
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
Rivers of life rush in as each moment enters my mind
slip down and plop - slowly flowing
Trickling as the past comes forward
And each bellowing cry leads my flowing eyes
To reach within
Each breathe does not run smooth

I fall back into my mind looking I see the
Cinematography lights capture your faces
And each passing laughter captures your spirit
As each passing moment enters my mind as a spinning glow
Every waking moment I'm  holding onto what is left

Every pixelated second reached from your pocket
Lives, breathes, and encapsulates your eyes
Flickers as a breathe from the under currents
Stirring inspiration

Your grace - beautiful - posed - sparkle
Breaks every boundary I knew about you

I climb my mountains, and burn my bridges
Stonemasons carved my road, yet I stand looking at an empty well
I heard laughs and cries of joy, but my trees hid a waterfall
And all were jumping but me
I dipped my toes and now I see I could not dive
But do not be afraid to jump
The glowing mist will circulate in your body - casting a god like shadow
Greeting, gently, fervently - you are here
Do not be afraid

The wheat grass blows beneath me and you stand with me
Seeing what I see
The city lights melt in my arms - and you fade into flashes
Movements of passing gestures and
My love for you only grows, but I stay asleep

Your adagio string symphony fingerprints my fluttering breathe
And your whip in the wind stands still as I see you dancing to your heart
You can not see the regret - it shall not pass
Again, I see you in the wheat field
My hands reach for yours - the dandelion is lost in the wind
The rain falls - the music falls to a slow ending
I grab what I see
Hold it for as long as I can - it will never be to late
Never
To start once more
While holding what - I've become
My growing pains. To learn what you finally love - see it for only a second before it it is ripped away.
715 · May 2016
Opate Eyes
Leila Valencia May 2016
A misstep into a nights howl
there it begins the bellowing
Night follows dusk and there it becomes
My minds greatest company

I step into the grim shadow
In these missteps the shadow
Follows me dearly-a bohemian tea cup couldn't keep me happy so!

The darkness is my hiding haven
Enjoying the darkness
Leila Valencia Oct 2015
I'm not a monk
I'm not a pastor
I don't call myself the savior
My name does not rhyme with self righteous behavior
But I try, Oh I try to be good

Decent in this world, but my palm stretches itself thin
Trying to collect all the pain and hatred in this world
In doing so I receive permanent scars.
I can not face the bars of this life
This life I desperately want to come home to

I will try oh, I will try to save you all
I may be foolish, hungry, and to idealistic, but for me this room seems white
I may be standing on a land mine, or a gold mine.
Each microcosm I pass I want their microcosm to explode with
Euphoria, Awakening, Enlightenment, and Healing when we meet

These will not be my last words that I speak
These are not the last things I am thinking
But in my heart you will see better days
And I will see oh, I will see you again
I talked to my Dad and I'm thinking about adopting when I grow up. Then we were having a discussion about the foster care system. The foster care system is extremely disfunctional, but I'm optimistic that there is hope. There will be good days like there will be bad days. There is no answer for everything and if you never think about giving these kids a chance then they will be given the worst care because everyone in their life doesnt care about them. It is not up to me to do anything, but as a part of society I feel obligated to help these children out and try to see what I can do to better their lives.
702 · Apr 2018
Lost in the Amazon
Leila Valencia Apr 2018
We can not go,
This, I have said this to myself millions of times.

But, that day my heart took the driver’s seat.
My mind stopped working like a well-oiled machine.

I was in the middle of the urban jungle, the concrete city of cars, traffic, and cookie-cutter homes...
The land of squared, sanitized spaces, and constant noises from technology, automobiles, and the noise in our heads to keep up with the rat race.

I closed my eyes

Then, I opened them again.

A different reality!
A dream, of course!

I found myself in a jungle of green, moist, humid sweat.
This was the land of  kaleidoscopic dreams;
The monkey’s howls pierce the air -
birds symphonically, swimming together in the air-
Life in every single layer of nature

I felt myself
Losing myself in the greenery
The lushness
The awe

I had time to contemplate
In my contemplation, I decided, the only thing in life is real is the story I create in life

And as I go through the forest
My thoughts become more developed and articulated

I slash at everything that does not make sense
I slash at every idea
Every preconceived notion
Of
Who I thought
I am

I cut like a savage warrior
On a mission
Branches, dangling distractions
Temptations of fruits and branches that grab at my waist,
And more branches, like physical arms tieing me down like chains

I slash the blade
I cut with no intention of where I want to go

Exhausted, I rest my head

In the darkness in the middle of the amazon

A jaguar comes to me
With their yellow eyes waiting in the corner - It observes me in the bushes
I sit still
Is this a message for me?

Wanting to hear what I have to say
I wait and wait
I stay up all night.

As I wait for prophecies
The jaguar eventually leaves me alone in the darkness

Dissapointment rages inside me
I am left in more uncertainity

But, my heart spoke really loud today
Something took a hold of me
I was not rationale.
I was not cautious..

I opened my backpack and dumped everything off a cliff
I ran and jumped in the blue ocean

Finally
I listened to my heart
Finally...
This is for all of those who do not know where life will take them. This is for all of those who are not sure where they want to go next. I think it is really, really important to just keep going and eventually you will find yourself just enjoying life. Chasing feelings, chasing your heart, and getting out of your head.
702 · Mar 2016
Held within, without
Leila Valencia Mar 2016
Standing alone, surrounded
Outside a gas lamp - a flickering essence of mystery
A path.

Where it leads.
You choose not to know.
Rather walking inside
A step taken, nothing more
Inside - trapped, tied, tangled, knotted
Names you do not know
Faces glance
You change your name

Masquerade your personality with falsehoods
Shimmy in your dress
Chandeliers quiver to the gowns
Unkind fellows breathe to close
Gracing yourself
Caged with rules
Grappling with tradition
Patronized, condescending, and patted
Played with, passed, and mopped
A chess piece, a card
Your house of cards collapse

The glitter is gleaming in shades of red
Brown, green, and blue
Hiding from our shadows
Dancing in the glitter
Parading around the attraction of light
But masked our identity... With strands of gold

Gold plastered, masked, and molded on our face
Contemporary gold,
Will not ease the pain
The shadows envelopes your heartbeat
Stretching close to the ambilical chord to the light

Snap!
Every dream fades
All falls into deep darkness
Painful, deep shadows
Your face grusomely scalped
Scarred, scorched, with fear
The truth, rotted, fermented
All that rests is your masquerade gown, but now the moths got to it

Alone, when you are always surrounded
Thinking of what it's like to be lonely surrounded by many people. No matter where I go I always feel so alone no matter how much love is surrounding me.
698 · Apr 2016
Grate your Pasted Nights
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
When have you graced me with love

Look

Outside - you want yourself, you wait

And I sit in silence - I berate that day your lights filled the sky

Green lush mountains peak to the heavens singing ' my oh my - dreamers catchen the spirit tonight'

But I fall deep to dark ashes and rebirth into the lord Phoenix and become one

I no longer wait, I paint my skies with hues of lavender and peach

Maybe one day you will become one with me
Thinking about me constant dreaming. Really about realizing you don't wait for someone else. You need to find your self and feel content with yourself and then, just maybe something magical will happen.
690 · Feb 2015
Making Sense
Leila Valencia Feb 2015
Many years I’m touched it’s not enough
I’m involved, but I have not evolved
(I think I’m locked inside my head, but acting outside my desires)
Desires our fires, but embers have not fulfilled
A wake in the bend and soon the light will emerge in the ripples
(I think I’m learning I’m my lead)

Pleasing is displeasing, look at me now
I’m living fiction because to please everyone will never satisfy
(I think I’m learning I’m so different)

The light is manifesting and the waves are turning
Drop of light in a lens, I see myself through the lens
(I’m learning what I want from me, not somebody, but me)

The light in the tunnel is airy, but sharp in rays
A laser is pointing at love; Mysteriously, I’m in love
(I’m learning that my desires are unique- make me, my own)

It came one day, on a stage; music pranced through
A note boggles in me, and shakes my soul- it’s art
Writing, music, philosophy, ideas, and beauty
And I was soaked, in green;  
(I’m learning that I desire a musical life not a pleasing one)
Don't live for anyone but yourself
680 · May 2016
Goo
Leila Valencia May 2016
Goo
Plunged in the dead center
Gasping, grasping, asking for air
Pooled goo globed inside of you
Sit inside a pool of gushy goo
Dipping deeper unable to move
Your lungs collapse, mini heart attacks
The fear turns black, Swimming recklessly
Pushing, and pulling, budging, and shoving
Stuck in your mind - unable to twitch a limb
Thickened - weighed down - trapped - sinking......

Will you be mine? My Sticky slime valentine?
Take me in my shape ?
I could not, Unable, Incapable.
I could not say for the goo has gotten it's way.
When you're interested in someone to the point where you feel stuck.
679 · Jan 2017
And Who?
Leila Valencia Jan 2017
Was it me, you?
I could not know.  

As you sit by the veranda, I watched us fall down feet from each other
Years ago, our legs were entangled.

A choice made, that would change my life
Moving, living, and being together - then, nothing planned.
And now we don't see our plans as one,
And who could say what made that happen...
When someone is becoming more distant from you and there is nothing to truly pin point why the relationship has slowly drifted away.
675 · Mar 2018
This is Me
Leila Valencia Mar 2018
The truth inside you will be a whisper
The most quiet sound.

No one would hear it, not even you

And as that voice in multitudes it said you will

And it said a word that shook your body
It shook your being
Every foundation - every cell - every experience
The sense of being shattered

And the broken pieces that bottled, closed, and caged you
In an invisible prison - one in which you never saw - these pieces
Will be a reminder...

For every time you think the past is catching up again...
You will stomp your feet harder: time and time again

This is the Real
Me
When the old you is replaced by the new you
671 · Oct 2015
Rue the Day
Leila Valencia Oct 2015
Running from this life
A mean, awful person being an *******
659 · Jun 2016
Damp
Leila Valencia Jun 2016
I feel like a drip

Course toes tickled the silked fringes

Willow brushes tasted the night

Watching it blow. Willow leafs' tips caressed nights glow
Swaying to the trumpet's  highest notes

Swamp like creatures lure in my shadow. Creeping on the moon's glow.

I feel like a breeze

Wheat meadows captured my essence in two breathes and one fervor

My growth hidden in midnight's blow.
Dampening the wrists to swim - breathe it's  green

I'm not every spirit, free - risking to capture a misted, darkening dream
Summer Series #3
650 · Apr 2016
Unravel
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
How can I phrase this?
Lamely laid - I've paid my way to my own grave, but I changed
Transformed
It's the day I will exclaim in pity pools and parade budded skies
My lovely hearts are carried to fry
It's why?  

It's city kings and big boxed lords sitting on lards of lush and luxury
Delivering to the mouths and blistering our hearts
And keeping the steel wall closed from ourselves - we become the consuming  generation

Airdropped from to the earth from a contained hedonistic lair.
We grow in every way and grow through every day
Listen...
Look...

Feel.

Can you digest what you see?
Can you see, the cruelty painfully pushed as a casualty
Covered like up like a felony
Treated like no biggie
Thee eyes no nothing of what they see
Their story is morphed

And no one wants the truth

So we sit in silence

Until the world sees what I see - justice
End animal cruelty. I'm vegan and I support this lifestyle - it's the best choice I've ever made and I hope you will open yourselves to new possibilities
643 · Mar 2016
Unlocked
Leila Valencia Mar 2016
Morning dusk weakens me
Holds me
The grandfather clock ticks
The stained cabinets sit idly
The sprinkles of dust laying
Reminding me of last night

A wish kept beneath the stairs
Was there
Granite and stone freeze
My feet walk upon a frozen wish
Locked, quietly breathing
Carrying me to where I am now
When my mind wanders. It wanders for weeks, until I stop.
629 · Jun 2016
Blend
Leila Valencia Jun 2016
Hidden nights grabbed. Gripped
Heathen puffed mouths
Filled with devious schemes

Sun dried eyes blend these notions. Rebellious, shhhh shhhh

Trimmed, pierced - bitten
Carress my lovers mouth

Love or lightness. Blend my truest heart's honesty, love
With your truest intentions to blow away - hidden behind all darkest corners.

A silence. Who do we belong to, eachother?
Beginning of Summer Series
627 · Apr 2016
Locked
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
Candidly so,
I'm increased by you
Your love, presence and adoration

Have you came to me so
In beauty, trampled by ways
You can not live without me

Your woes do show
Am I yours - carefully written down
Unknown to you
I am

We've not formally met
Dreaming in your head
618 · Sep 2016
Pearls of dreams
Leila Valencia Sep 2016
Each breathe, momentary thoughts.... tumble like sand
Beating breathlessly, all the while, in a moment, the dream - shatters!
A bottle of sand. A bottle of sharded pieces beside granules of sand.
The ocean tugs, again, once more, then in a flicker of moments the shard vanished from earth's surface
Pulled out by the oceans current, further, eventually the singular piece of glass sinks below, quietly below - quieter than darkness.

The abyss' dark shadows thicken, envelope the single shard of glass - the only piece left.
As it aimlessly sinks quickly beneath, unable to swim, gravity's weight forcefully leaves the piece no options but to fall into a further kind of darkness.

All the sudden, a swing, a single bounce, and drums beat and their bass of the underworld stings of sorrow and empty screams, the sea bottom was swirling touches of unwelcoming creatures and carnivorous eaters - a whirlwind of fright.
Suddenly the glass is swallowed, gulped up, it wasn't what it expected - it wanted to find its missing pieces and piece back again, but the swalling creature would not allow that dream to happen, ever again.
All it felt was the chomp of heaviness and it didnt move.

The mouth held the glass into shape, other pieces of sand mixed and moved.
What a feeling. Heavy in darkness, quiet, calm, and steady; the piece of the broken bottle was forming inside the mouth of an oyster.
Each day the glass would wait, more sand appeared and  it worked away, waiting to be released.
Working to form, making its shape, toiling and forming, years in darkness, all waiting to see the sun once again.

Years in darkness, ousted from others, yet it grew and grew; bigger by the day.
Then mercy came! The day came, that shone in a brilliant manner, blinding and glorious.
The latched closure opened, years later for the single shard, but it was no longer a shard.
A single pearl among the desert of shards, the desert no one could distinguish amongst many shards, but a pearl laying amongst the desert of shards.
616 · Mar 2015
Dark Kisses
Leila Valencia Mar 2015
It's midnight
The blend of bad and wrong isn't tight
The cloth that I shield my eyes with is white
and I kiss you hard

Seductive to a length leaving me, blank.
Raunchy, but soft
My doubts should be stored in loft
But you're so sure I cant stop


Like a web crawled in my body
Leaving me hinged for one more kiss
I collapse like cards, I collapse into you
I star gaze into our night, black and blue

It was beautiful
Dark Kisses
613 · Apr 2016
Beginning
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
Can we......
I feel - is all this - wrapped in knots, hope, cloud, and a clout to my head
A motion, flashed - twitched in a second, innuendos
The clock handle moving - while our motion is steady - untouched
Building and falling. Your bravery marked on us both, forever falling to your grip

Green, blue, purple, lively love my dear
Have you whispered sweet nothings
In ones soft ear, caressing them in a trans
Whispering 'it's you'
Finally, a dream caught in your sunrise
The hands you hold me with mold into my side
Marking my hide - burning inside
With passion - fumed, full of embers crystallizing
Will you bring me - collide to me - send me to you
You whisper on my neck touching slowly - counting the galaxy
The lunar collection piled on my back
The mountains of smoke collect in your misted breathe
And your holding me by a whisper - and I drag my arms
Holding you -
Fervor of your brushes - the taste of your wind
Surrounds me - holds me

The world's tipped on its axis, yet my mind is tripped over you
Lost in relish of giddy tickled touches - fools stuck in a dreaming pool of love
Light rays land on your hand guiding a touch once more
You do, hold me - and I you
A sweet young love. Holding Hands - that's all. Starting to be intimate is difficult. The anticipation for the first touch is always so big. When one finally holds the other ones hand it feels like the invisible shield of uncertainty is tactfully breaking down.
598 · Jan 2017
Slowly --- All at once
Leila Valencia Jan 2017
Believing and dreaming, growing and leaving
Leaving behind......
A whoosh and a spin, a grin and a glint, all that it takes before time is amiss.

DREAM
larger, infinite, timeless, senseless, insurmountable, imaginable.

These are the moments in which the impossible can be conceived.
A smile is taken as a romantic gesture,
And every single moment can be jumbled in a messy, wild, reckless grin
Each stroke taken as its last
Each beat felt like never before
And its all coming now

Will it ever come like this again?
What it is like leaving home for the first time and finding your own
595 · Jul 2016
Oceana
Leila Valencia Jul 2016
Weep Oceana weep, my sweetest dear

What a homebody you've been to me, darling Oceana

Now don't curdle my head and heart, but oh the distance
I weep for the distance

Each cradled memory - beaten with palm frans with invisible hands holding me


Meddling with time Oceana. Oh it's been time! My ocean current bringing me down, but I promise, so deeply to the marrow - there is no other one, to this day

Oh dear, my sails must go up you see.
My hands are wrinkling with time, sparingly - so I only hold your fainted lights in my locket to the unfolding oblivion

The wind on my neck, Countless stars guiding me north - a new destiny.
But in every written desire, I will always look south, back to you - my only Oceana
Leaving my home.
591 · Sep 2015
Submerge to Death
Leila Valencia Sep 2015
The dream of illusion is the searing wrath the mind can impose
Mind, Break me out don't Break me down

The belief of truth is like wind
whoosh..............

The dream of today is like rain
sploosh...............

The thoughts of now are like quick sand
smoosh..............

You know you only breathe to inhale more bubbles of illusions
The bubbles slide down your throat hot and smooth
Then one day will come and your body was covered in foam, and suddenly
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

The stinging sensation of air will hit your body
The truth will hit your mind like a swinging pendallium
Which reality will you float to?
When you are stuck in your bubble. One day it will pop, but it is your decision when you will leave your fantasy.
586 · Jul 2016
Being
Leila Valencia Jul 2016
Conjoining in one - above
As long as serenity sets in the ocean mist
Clarity sets, breathing as one

Each one above, below - reasons with strength
Guiding our touch, skimming over the ocean's gaping mouth
Realization, small, simple, then grander, greater.....
Peace within, the circle closes in
Self evident that
Once more, clarity of the 'true self' closes in on you
Finding your inner peace
584 · Jun 2016
Hidden
Leila Valencia Jun 2016
Crushed under light
Observed minusculely
Contained, constricted
Hypnotize impatience, as one tears for the dark

Callous bites aimlessly
A wild animal one becomes
As if living in eternal light

Finally, time for crouching in the dark
But one is dreadfully fearing when the bright of light
Will reveal, displease, repulse

So they stay crouching quietly in the dark
584 · Nov 2015
Teenager Tragedy
Leila Valencia Nov 2015
Her golden hair, her eyes were wide and her ears were open
I'm going to tell you she was a beauty
A magnificient vacation from your walls of pressure and hatred
A nice getaway in your moments of need

But only when you saw that your needs needed to be met. You thought to say hello, and stop by for a while.
She was still listening with her ears open, eyes wider, legs apart when she sat, and hair golden as the sun.
Only when she wasnt looking you looked for another vacation in an abandoned warehouse where you could easily store away the evidence.

Her hair was always in her face, but after you learned the shape of her hand, you painted it along side your hip, as she swayed back and forth she started to see the  smoke in your eyes.
Her eyes squinted, her hair was a little bit frizzy, and her body was stiffer.
She smelt a different vacation on his back.
She started to feel his hand slide down her - she obliged as she turned her cheek to the wall

Days turned into storms their little island was beginning to sink
She was Circulating, desperately trying to decode him - but she felt the concrete thicken her stance.
The mirror yelled at her thighs and she started to cut her plates in half
The mirror yelled at her hair so she dyed it in black
The mirror yelled at her eyes so she drenched them in black

The next morning her nightmere wasnt gone she saw him and he saw her
He was confused but she was more so.
He looked at her, without a single word pushed her in his car
He legs were so  locked together he had to get a wrench to pry them open, her eyes lifeless, her hair fried  with chemicals - with this gaunt, lifeless, hallow expression she felt numb to the bone, but be was in paradise.

The prickles were stabs to her, his body was suffocating hers - she was paralyzed. He was controling everything he was shocking her body.
"Get off!" "Stop please Stop!" She screamed for mercy and with every gulp,  fear  surged through her body. His paradise was transforming into a tornado - he tried to lock her away in the basement. He put her hands over her mouth "Shhhh keep quiet, just let the storm blow over."

She could feel his pulse, aggression was what the smoke was made out of.

He contained her
Silenced Her
And after he broke through, and completed

She started to weep, and he fell on top of her.

When she woke up, she got out of the car, walked to the ocean
She saw a tiny little island
Closed her eyes
Dove in, and forever there may she stay.
A teenager Lust and Love going in the wrong Direction
583 · Mar 2018
Lustful Dreams
Leila Valencia Mar 2018
Years went by and a single dream
Intoxicated me like none other.

Willow leaves whispered silent lullabies
And the sunlight's rays poured into my haze
I stared longingly at the possibility.............

Yet these lustful diaries
so forbidden,
so drunk with rich fantasies,
the smell of each thought
fumed with tempestuous spirits
dragged me under into the lonely abyss.

And the fantasized romance became torture
and freedom -
limitation and liberation all at once.
This dream was a playground.
A sanctuary, a church to let my spirit soar.
Glorious joy I could feel, but only for a second

Then, the truth sank in
like a sinking ship  

The shackles of a single question still haunts me
-- what if?
And I wonder.

The pain is dull, haunting, yet hangs over me constantly
I am reminded that I remained in my dream world.
Unable to speak up,
From the wisdom of the pure heart

Unable to see the dream was always on this earthly plain
In plain sight.

In frustation, rage, and pain
Silent pain

I flip through my poetry account


-- God damm it. I have done this before
More humor in my maturity and realizations of how I live in my love world
582 · Sep 2016
Secret Plea
Leila Valencia Sep 2016
Quiet quiet....

Tingle, oh granted, a dream!

Silence.   It's burden.

Toiling hands, emptied veins, to give a dream beneath space? Time?

Quiet, the flickers dissolve to the present of thought.

Ambition? A dream conceived from particles space can not deny.
Restless hands dig for reasons...

Found space beneath.

A pit below - hollowed.

The abyss  of flickers snipped away- beneath.

Subconscious dream sleeping lowly,
Dark. Shrouded pitfalls creep your thoughts.

Uncover such dirt. deafeningly  uncovered. Brighter than light upon ones dream.

All the time - below
When your dreams and ideas are locked in your subconscious. The potential to live and grow.
582 · Apr 2016
Forest Darkness
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
What you see
The car lights through the mist
your silhouette in the lake
the scars on your wrist
sunsets in the day
sunrises at night
Beauty in the eye of the beholder
A day waking up in a hazy most.
581 · Jun 2018
No. Not Possible.
Leila Valencia Jun 2018
Right now,

The mind flutters.
The body clutters in emotions.
In motion.
Trying to sip on a potion
While staying in devotion to something.......
I try to be it all, yet I cant control this
This
THIS ——- flutter

Yet, falling freely.
Seeing me be me.
Really,,,,,

I stay away
At bay. Yet fragment, moments, ideas
All collide into an explosion of the possibility.

And my mind flutters
Like a butterfly
Crashes like a falling airplane;
Freely, painfully
As I hold onto the railings on the bus. There is a single stop
I crash - again, again.... When, I say stop
Again -
Reality -  
A shattering crash.

And I flutter, more
More,
More.

Nothing will stop, nothing.
This fluttering flies away and I am left shaking

A wound
Is opened, in front of you
I want crash now. Because my explosion in front of you
Will hurt you
You will stay

Yet I think:
Please come (I flutter)

Please go —-

At the same time..
A mind so afraid to be oneself. Creating scenarios for love, friendships, and life.
578 · May 2016
Gin and Toxic
Leila Valencia May 2016
Opening doors keeping out the dark fumes
My lover hidden upon darkened tombs
And I assumed there's an attribution through you
Who am I to assume?
My dream casted discreetly, shielded neatly - playfully pull underneath me
Keep me at an unrest

Undress, test, your eyes will surmise I'm not thinking of only you in dusk sunrise
Tie me, try me - bend me, break me
Try as you mite you can't believe thee
You're not the only eyes  

Hash me, harass me - your answer unfulfilled yet,
Becoming furious I let you come forth
Sharp and sweet I meet you hands and grip they do
I show you, I can love two

You snap and take me, burn, bust, and shake me
You can't hold any longer
You let go
And I run never letting you really hold me
A woman who has no problem being with multiple partners
575 · Oct 2015
Girls Lonely Lullaby
Leila Valencia Oct 2015
She was the kindest friend I ever had,
But one I wouldn't say to much about
We'd see eachother on occasion, but she never pushed me
I never felt like she was an evasion to my space
To my crazy little thoughts

Instead she was the soil to my growth
The seed of my confidence
My flower blooming, bursting with colors
My feet firmly planted
I walked with pride
My eyes looked at the stars,  For once I felt assured in my stride

Some nights we stayed up late, our pillows stacking into forts
My eyes twirled like a plane on a rocket
And In my room We danced all night, laughed until dawn
My stomach would clench in pain from laughing
My eyes watered, and my heart was fluttering with glee
I felt whole around her like she sewed a missing part to me

We Shared our darkest secrets for long
My blood sistes, Nothing could every feel wrong
I felt so close to home I could cry, and I did

I told her my somber life story
The trauma, the pain - she held my hand
Before long, I told her my insecurities.
Despising the shape, colors, and texture of my body
I looked at her and held my waist,
I glared at her in disgust, twirling the fat, ripping off my skin
I was screaming in her face

Then I curled into a bundle, ashamed.
She cupped her hands under my chin, and said," I love the way you are, please don't ever change."

Reconciled, I went to hug her to only bring her nearer
Oddly, She didn't hug back because she was nothing but a mirror
575 · Feb 2015
Felt tip Strength
Leila Valencia Feb 2015
I want to know what I can do
It doesnt feel like my time here is blending in me
I want to sleep, but I can shake my feet off the ground
I'm lost
(it becomes my soul)

Drawn into a world of hurt
I build a castle around this mind
It falls like petals
(it becomes my eyes)

Im drawn into wine and pouring
suddenly Im pouring everything
Nothing is left
(it becomes my bones)

Fickle at dawn fleeting at dusk
nothing stays
everything will vanish, but you didnt know
(it becomes my mind)

Believing inst a dream I could want
Loving is to far from this grain
Pushing into laces vases
(it becomes my ideas)

Unbalanced mind is a stretch of hate
(Im becoming my monster)
570 · Jun 2016
Given
Leila Valencia Jun 2016
Moments

Hidden ago, long ago beneath this stairwell

Tempting to reopen yet torture to hold so dearly

Single lane separation

Holding this ideal, sun kissed on my temple, perpetual grief as the truth is opposed to ideals

Warm tender joints
Shaking in calm movements
Sleeping under the yet to be seen ideals of given fantasies unable to disclose
Summer Series #2
559 · Oct 2017
The Haze
Leila Valencia Oct 2017
Oh but a haze.....

A fog, a blow
Oh but a weariness.......

Oh but a fallacy. A curse.
Unless embraced, unless held with care.

The haze can confuse,
Lose you....
The haze, is hanging angel, a shining curse.
If torment will come -- you can allow it to.
If the haze is taken slowly, it can caress you.

There is nothing but freedom and madness.
There is nothing but darkness and pure light.

At the harbor, the docks shake and anchor.
But out at sea there is nothing to guide you.....

And the haze can be the meaning you put.
The winds will blow the direction you gear.
And the haze can be nothing but a story you tell it.
554 · Jun 2017
We Write
Leila Valencia Jun 2017
To become something more, I tell you less
And as you grow into someone more, less you know

And so I write, to make sense, but my writings writher with time.....

Each slash on paper, do not complete me.
Each tense does not fufill me, but these writings stand with time.

I write - now-  less you feel you know - but my writings will be a piece that.... will sit quietly forever.
writing and feeling like whatever you write is not complete
552 · Apr 2016
What, do you see?
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
Scratching
Screeching
Scheming

Hellish boys trimming their blades
Sliced by nights eyes

Callous carefulness

Calamity in the Mystics eyes  intricitley cutting silver pences
Crying their breach

Rubble toes and hardened minds
The kind one can't contain

Blaring the shrieks of a litten mouse
Holding up high
Flying high
Can not find stable ground

Hellish girls grinding their teeth
Strapping their ties
High and tight
Grading their hearts

They both want to
To be carelessly bad, free and rash  

Terribly so,

So much so - without a cause
The dark night can conjure some playful ideas
549 · Mar 2017
Vulnerable
Leila Valencia Mar 2017
The word itself
The word itself
The word is lost,
And I am
Lost
In its shadow, its very being.

On, the, word - open
The word itself
The word I shreek from
I want to stay from....

The very word, the word that I will never be close to, the word,

Intamate
547 · Apr 2018
Allow Change
Leila Valencia Apr 2018
The night came like to the woman in white like thunder, but it was unlike any dream she had ever seen before.

Nothing could compare to this. Nothing could compare to this scale, this intense freedom.
She kept running
She walked into a kind looking abyss

And still there was a new way of living that tore her away.
From her current reality

What a dream she thought, what a confusing, chaotic dream.

Losing and finding it all
at - once -

She looked up
Wiped the tears and sweat


A thought caught her by surprise,


This is magical beyond all desires.
Just allow change because change can sometimes be incredible.
Leila Valencia Jan 2017
In the air
I wait

I the moment
I listen

And all, falls, so, patiently.
Every, single, moment - there is feeling

I say, all I could, all I could say.
And if you knew who I was, I would not need to explain.

But with this, you, and our slow stops - I feel stuck
Yet, I feel grounded, in the air, around, and lost
To much, all at once.

And my thoughts, my mouth cant describe - if only there was one tick
Time stops, when that feeling
Could sit, and closer, closer......
We came together.
When there is a person who you can't say what you want with them. For some reason, it is hard to be straight with them, yet there is a sense of feeling that can sometimes be stronger than words.
544 · May 2016
Roots of a Wanderer
Leila Valencia May 2016
Ashes blown
Spirits awaken
Memories casted
Breathes stirred


Morph....
Transform....
Break through.....

Blow the dust and let the leaves sway
Greenery lush will decease one day
Committing isn't always fitting.... Learn there will be nights where the stars hang low, but you want to see the stars on the other side of the world

Play....  
Dream.... Wonder what this day will include
Don't believe your roots won't include you, but....

Branches break and so may you,
But look beyond the wandering map,
Look beyond the plaque name in front of your home

If you step across the border
And into the well..

May one day come, your name will be written from stars above
When your family is the only people holding you back from your desire to travel and leave home.
540 · Jun 2016
Silent Motion
Leila Valencia Jun 2016
The world turns
all becomes, shifting metamorphosis
Continually
Grace
Of
Growth

moving silently
moving days without visible motion
We shudder and bask in the days end

Forgetting, what the motion took to become

Endings
Growing and transforming. Forgetting what it took to get where you are simultaneously using night and day metaphors.
535 · May 2016
Dinner
Leila Valencia May 2016
Hesitation burns so lightly
Heavily holding
This grandeous hypocrisy

Who shall pay for dinner?

Him or her ?
Questioning social norms
532 · Dec 2015
Trechurous Torture
Leila Valencia Dec 2015
Emotional Emotional Wreck
There is nothing that will turn your brain off and on like a dream wiped away
Your fantasies were potent
Not potent enough to speak your thoughts
Not thick enough to grasp the day and shake it in your hands

Messy Messy Head
A rocking chair could do less damage
A roller coaster of energy
Negativity plummeting in your hands
Left with a sigh of relief, yet regret

Burnt Burnt Face
Hot with sour emotions pouring into your veins as a very reminder of your loss
Your regrets
Your pain
Your mistakes

Started in your head
Will not end in your Head
It will end in your heart
Leila Valencia Jun 2017
As I sit by the window, a blistering wind bellows
Howling at me, howling for a reason - I question.
The statue angels in the rose garden below listen in.

I close the creaking window. I shut my book on the rose colored cushion.
My reflection leaves me, alone......

The wind blows - and the window blows, open, I did not touch - anything.

Again, I close the window, the hollowing blows the trees down, but my period on sentences for myself make me shout inside me.

The written notes with scattered arrows, the massive circle in the center with a question mark - all scattered on the cushion. And as the trees shake and children scream below me, the question marks grow bolder.

My truth?

My purpose?

My intuition?

I hear a sharp shout calling my name, which does not have handed flowers in its tone. I wake down stairs. And as I close the door the paper I drew on falls to the floor,
Where dust resides
Leaving your passion and self behind to go to do something that you do not care for
524 · Apr 2016
Barely
Leila Valencia Apr 2016
Crickets creek under the midnight glow
I hear the Violins strumming to the airy night
And as many stars a glow, the warm gust heightens the senses
And fervor stirs in the belly - warmth, touching, feeling
Flickering candle light momentous glow - lifts your head back

The breathes of air gently brisk on your neck
Guiding it's way to your back
Grasping behind you
Holding you tightly - embracing you
The summer breeze welcomes your deviousness
Your imaginings and all of the wild rage, yearning for touches

Laying your back on the dune under the twinkling ceiling  
A distant dream imagined years ago and enters a doubt
Loneliness creeps in and ones ideal twinkles again and hope is restored
The empty echoes filled with cricket squeaks
Jitter bugs and buzzing fills the void of the empty summer breeze
Dedicated to my times at the dunes in Mexico. Quickly writing down something I want, but I'm not sure what it is I want. Side note, I'm so excited to go to Mexico this year. Many years I don't feel a need to go, but recently I'm growing more exciting. When I'm in Mexico I like to be by myself and I find comfort in the sand dunes by the ocean. Tranquility and peace at last, ones mind wanders, contemplates, and idealizes in an atmosphere surrounded by darkness and specks of light
524 · Feb 2015
Dim Cresent
Leila Valencia Feb 2015
Temple be sure and Temple be swollen
Temple be nimble Temple be sacred

Temple teach me love
Temple tear me down
Temple show me light
Temple bring me down
Temple sell my eyes
Temple bleed my veins
Temple Temple hear my screech
Temple sink me

Temple drink me
Temple shrink me
Temple blink me
Massacre my faith Temple release me
Flood me
Temple oh Temple
My heart is beneath me
My ego is growing. I want to be less about me and my conscious. I want to be less of my soft feeling and more of the massive touch of something bigger.
518 · Feb 2018
..L.i.s.t.e...n
Leila Valencia Feb 2018
Now,
Listen.

CAn you?

Listen.

Plead to listen.
It’s yours
It’s always been yours


No one has such power
The voice inside

It pleads
It asks
It begs

It may shake you
_____

But - dont - forget —-
The power
The poWER
It’s all yours
It’s never going to leave you.

No matter how much you turn your cheek -
You push it;
Scream;
Claw;
Burn;

It will sit quietly
Closed
Eyes...
calmly

When you open your hands.....
It will say
..gently..
Quietly .........
...............Lovingly.

“Dear, I have been waiting for this my entire life”
Listening to the voice inside.
516 · Apr 2019
Bitten
Leila Valencia Apr 2019
The egde
of a smoke

It's tapped
Out -

I seize
a whisking night

That brushed me
cajoling me
like lemon berries
bitten under the moonlit star sky
the lustful bite that tests your heart + body
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