Certain things are bound to happen in life,
Whether you like them or not.
Eventually, you don't accept them,
But just get used to them.

With the racing heartbeat
And the closed eye..!!
I was ready to give up the whole world of mine,
To someone... waiting for me on the aisle
Little did I know him and a lot to explore,
On journey ahead lies..!!
Eyes meet & result in a glorious smile,
Yes...!! everyone around cheered and
The expectations got high..!!
A lot waiting in the future and a lot I am going to say goodbye,
Giving me up to him, he tries his tears to be hide
Well it is a beautiful day since I am my groom's bride..!!

We can not go,
This, I have said this to myself millions of times.

But, that day my heart took the driver’s seat.
My mind stopped working like a well-oiled machine.

I was in the middle of the urban jungle, the concrete city of cars, traffic, and cookie-cutter homes...
The land of squared, sanitized spaces, and constant noises from technology, automobiles, and the noise in our heads to keep up with the rat race.

I closed my eyes

Then, I opened them again.

A different reality!
A dream, of course!

I found myself in a jungle of green, moist, humid sweat.
This was the land of  kaleidoscopic dreams;
The monkey’s howls pierce the air -
birds symphonically, swimming together in the air-
Life in every single layer of nature

I felt myself
Losing myself in the greenery
The lushness
The awe

I had time to contemplate
In my contemplation, I decided, the only thing in life is real is the story I create in life

And as I go through the forest
My thoughts become more developed and articulated

I slash at everything that does not make sense
I slash at every idea
Every preconceived notion
Of
Who I thought
I am

I cut like a savage warrior
On a mission
Branches, dangling distractions
Temptations of fruits and branches that grab at my waist,
And more branches, like physical arms tieing me down like chains

I slash the blade
I cut with no intention of where I want to go

Exhausted, I rest my head

In the darkness in the middle of the amazon

A jaguar comes to me
With their yellow eyes waiting in the corner - It observes me in the bushes
I sit still
Is this a message for me?

Wanting to hear what I have to say
I wait and wait
I stay up all night.

As I wait for prophecies
The jaguar eventually leaves me alone in the darkness

Dissapointment rages inside me
I am left in more uncertainity

But, my heart spoke really loud today
Something took a hold of me
I was not rationale.
I was not cautious..

I opened my backpack and dumped everything off a cliff
I ran and jumped in the blue ocean

Finally
I listened to my heart
Finally...

If I were different
Would the sky shelter me
Would the clouds
Cover my head

If I were different
Would nature accept me
Would it nurture me
A thorny embrace

Thoughts cascading
Internally
And I wish that
Hopefully

If I were different
Would you still love me?

Needles sting my pulsing heart
An inner bond, unbroken
Wisps of yarn, tufts of string
Cover my hand

Creases, torn and broken skin
A trail of pain, an endless path
The holes in my hand, gaping wide
Long for completion

If two magnets attract each other
Why do we repel so far away
One final glance
A turned back

Compel me

How those pages will be filled with or what...will be interesting!
The excitement is that "Uncertainty" is not becoming a fear!
I am behaving like a dummy...ignoring urges of getting answers!
getting emotions in return!
Feelings are standing on the corner of Uncertainty, questioning the path it taking!
Questioning who is there in the road, they will meet!
Questioning why they were revived after ages of sleeping in silence!
If I love...Do I have to be Lost!
Those are my pages to you!

i find pleasure in chasing,
wheres the fun in it
if its bound to happen
im in it for the thrill
of the uncertain,
a delicious ambiguity.

I've thrown myself off the cliff of uncertainty
and I fall
fast

scraping into
my shadows and
anxieties;
I hit my fears
face.
first.

The Plunge of Faith
comes hand in hand
with the Purge of
Eradication,
Deformation,
And
Illumination;

and with this pain-
this process
of being smashed open
Broken,
everything I thought I was
Dismantles,

and the mirror of the dark night
is created;

from which,
I am able to see
Everything I Am,
already Was,
and will always Be.

Within the pieces of
this dark night mirror,
I am finally able to see,
Me.