Connection beyond all belief. Connection between two.
Deep connection, where tether strings are tied, no matter how far - there is a floating connection.
And I yearn for it.
The connection, one where I fall, one where I fall aimlessly into reciprocation.
And I am always closing every door.
No one sees the mirrors like I do. And if they stand behind me - I crack the mirror, or, I will fog the mirror, I will stand far away....
With my entire heart, my entire being - one day - I held out a single, violently shaking finger (the only part of my body reaching out.)
The only part asking for help, love, acceptance.
The only piece of flesh that I will reveal.
But, I tend to clench my fists.
And the connection between anyone is never as strong as I hoped, as I wanted, as I....
I stand in the darkest of corners.
Hearing my own breathe every once in a while.
My heart beat, loud, my stinging chest, quivers at their intertwining connections.
And I wish I could connect, but fear keeps my mouth empty
My mind's sparks are dim - I keep the light low.
But their roaring flames, brilliant, luminescent - it's growing.
Shining through a prism.
Shining daylight - glorious to all with wide eyes
and I.... wish, they knew I had a finger to spare in their conversation.
But the corner, is comfort.
The corner is the protection against loss. The corner never gains or loses. And that is where I will remain.
Do they know?
My mind is looking
For an answer.
I'm not sure anymore. Because,
When I look up, there you are.
And I..... lost it.
Those thoughts that make me - an individual.
Those thoughts that me me - unique.
........... End so quickly - with you in my presence.
My own being - lost.
My own mind - lost.
..........You can be too much.
To many thoughts, emotions, ideas for my being to
And I am losing what I need.
Who I need to be.
- One Day, I will not need question marks (?)
One Day, I will not need last minute calls...
- One Day, I will not need confusion
One Day, I will not fall so deep into my delusion
And I will not hold onto a faint, loose, illusive - idea
To be in your presence -
I will, one day, not feel the need to be beside you -
Because I hope.
You're are no longer a hope......
And I will stand with my own two feet -
I will be planted in my own being, not hoping - for an idea.
I will be brave!
And I no longer wait for strength from other's before I ask it from myself.
I will no longer wait for their question marks to become my ideas of romance.
I will no longer wait for an idea
I will become the idea - of who I am meant to become
So I will never lose again.
So you did, listen.
And winds - blew me over.
And waves sucked me in.
And you did, hear me.
And you did, see me.
And all the stars collided - once and for all.
The ands, and ands.
Coming in unison - coming together.
The moment is the vase, the bowl, the pool of collections of moments
All rushing, together.
And I see how you cared, over and over and over.
Now, over and over and over,
one moment is the collection of how you - saw, believed, hear, watch, care.... how you want me,
How I want you
And a moment is not what is one moment
The moment is, now, how everything before and everything in the future is making this moment seem greater and
More, you look beautiful.
Nervous tick, like a beating drum, thumping, dumping.....
Pouring, waves, into your chest, waves of pure blue.
And electricity shoots through like a power surge
A fluttering heart cracks open ideas, waves of amazement
And dreams of vulnerability
And dreamers of fleeting ideas, caught in one giant (tornado)
Always a mess, undressed - eyes of green, blue, sage, summer days - wasting away
Are the feelings reciprocated?
Until a physical touch, is no longer caught in the distance. Until a physical touch is mentioned in your prescience
And all your tornados became storms of grey, black, and darkness shrouded your thoughts until you were touched with hesitancy.... with consistency.... with assurance