Life has always been too short, for us to stay.

Sitting in the room,
Just staring at the clock.
Waiting for the time to end,
My desire to be free.

Observing creatures called humans,
Doubting their version of  reality.
Nothing makes sense,
No meanings.

Life isn’t beautiful,
It’s all in your mind.
Nothing can make me understand the nature of humans.
All those emotions, I can’t control them all.

I’ve befriended a fallen angel.
An outcast just like me.
We got this life,
and landed in hell.

We made a deal with the devil.
We traded our sanity for a comprehensible mind.
The greatest memory or the saddest experience?
Or maybe the stupidest decision?

It’s too late now.
The canvas I painted my life on
Became blank.
My tears washed the colour away,
And the emptiness ruined the art.

At least I got to see the darkest lie
my delusion had to offer.
My aesthetic soul,
And my insane delusions.

*All in one and shall be the end of me.

Black* *sky and dark *night
gives stars a shining light.

Waiting for the night to come.
Waiting for the light to disappear.
Waiting for the cold to make me numb.
Waiting for the thick mist to clear.

Waiting for the new day called tomorrow.
Waiting for the tears to dry.
Waiting for you to say hello.
Waiting for you born in gemini.

Waiting for the night to end.
Waiting for the darkness to die out.
Waiting for the sun to make me amend.
Waiting forever for you without doubt.

Waiting for the fear to hurt.
Waiting for the pain to ****.
Waiting for my world to invert.
Waiting for my sleeping pill.

I’ve been waiting for all my life.
For you to never say **goodbye.

You woke up, showered and thinking about what else you should do.

Until you met her.

Standing in the empty street.

The street light lit up as so did your eyes.

your eyes was on fire, because she was burning you up.

She haven’t noticed you looking at her.

She never left your gaze.

Her red dress hugging all her figures.

She stared forward, never tearing her eyes away.

You blinked and she had disappeared.

You felt numb as you looked across the street to find her.

Kissing someone that wasn’t you.

You backed away, woke up and showered.

Continued on your daily routine of never have seen her.

I'm out here getting drunk on
memories,
While you're out there being sober on reality.

Thinking.
Sitting.
With my hand on my right cheek.
With my feet on a freak.

Queen.
Unforeseen.
Feeling alone and ice cold.
On the uncomfortable throne.

Waiting.
Suffocating.
The one I can call king.
The loneliness inside.

Seeing.
Hearing.
Suffering of my people.
Screams in fear of the lethal pain.

Feeling
Kneeling.
The smooth and soft skin.
Under the mighty crown.

Sleeping.
Keeping.
With pain and fear.
The stone I call a heart.

Torturing.
Smiling.
Until death ends it all.
When causing agony.

Vessel
Devil.
Of my victims tears.
They call me the Queen with the black crown.

Laying in my bed of roses.
With a bottle of whiskey in my hand.
Staring at a picture of you,
I’m missing you like crazy.

Empty bottle dropped on the floor.
The picture I held so dear,
Now engulfed in flames.
Turning our memories together into meaningless ashes.

Staring out of the window,
Watching the rain pouring down.
At least the rain’s not coming from my eyes anymore.
I’ve stopped treasuring you and started to remember myself.

Smiling from ear to ear,
Trying not to laugh at myself.
I hope I’ve moved on,
Even if it meant living with half a heart.

Years passed before I could say goodbye.
Laying in my bed,
With whiskey once again ending up in my hand.
A smile landed on my lips.

I’m still thinking of you on a lonely night...

She’s following you wherever you go.
You can’t escape your own fate.
She will always know.
I can’t think straight.

I’m sinking deeper into my mind.
Forgetting everything.
She’s making me blind.
I'm getting controlled by her string.

Seeing things that isn’t there.
I’m confined in her hypnosis.
Like a world of despair.
She sees herself as an apotheosis.

Looking at your own reflection.
Seeing her evil shadow behind you.
She won’t accept your rejection.
She has control over me with a voodoo.

But she knows I need her.
Together we are the dangerous confusions.
She makes everything I see blur.
She is The Goddess of Illusions.

I never really listened to the real me.

Hello for now,
Goodbye for later.
Nothing really happened,
In your eyes.
Everything you thought were real,
Were just an illusion.

I used to ignore my real feelings.

Blank eyes,
Full of darkness.
Happy smiles,
With unnoticed words.
Thoughts,
They’re like poison.

I couldn’t love my true self.

Hands,
They act before thinking.
Feelings,
Ruining it all.
Everything you see,
Is not me.

I didn’t acknowledge myself.*

Its back,
The tears.
I’m back,
More real than before.
Can’t go back,
I realised reality.

Is this blood?
Red liquid seeping out of my stomach.
Am I going to die?
But where’s the pain when I need it.

Where’s the fear?
My sense of reality.
My sense of love.
It’s all gone, just like you.

No comfort.
Just an illusion?
Where am I?
Where’s my sanity?

Am I supposed to say goodbye?
Can I even say anything.
What was your words again?
My mind is clouded.

Blackness overtaking my eyes.
Silence filling my surroundings.
Nothingness blocking my mind.
A blown out flame in my heart.

Hope? What’s that supposed to be?
Love? That’s just another meaningless word.
Life? I’ve never had a good one.
Death? I’m sure I’m experiencing it right now.

With a dark past, and a blank future.
Where am I supposed to be?
Deep down in hell, with who?
Or should I refuse the inviting invitation from a monster like you?

For what you expected me to be.
Was what you never saw.

Do you ever get those thoughts?
Those mean dreams?
Neverending nightmares?
Knowing that you’re chained in a world of despair?

Did you ever think of those things?
Those dangerous intentions of strangers.
That fear,
Of never escaping the cruel time?

Do you ever plan those nights?
Those nights hiding from yourself.
The circle of pain.
Or realizing you’re trapped in your own world?

Don’t you ever cry because of yourself?
Because you knew about it.
Or that your mentality reached insane?
Would you stay or keep falling forever?

Stumbling upon the path I’ve been looking for,
With a quick look behind to see my friends and family.
They waved and started to take a different way.
I smiled and began to walk straight ahead,
Knowing that if I look back again everyone would be gone.

Lights showed up on the side of the road.
Cars driving by, making a highway.
All of this is silence even while noises come and leave
This is it, I thought and began to run.

Running made it all a field of grass.
Horses passing by me with a touch of the wind.
My hair following the breeze from the ocean.
Within the night all over the world.

Falling down in the sand.
Burying me from neck to toe,
Making it harder to get free.
Water began rising,
Crashing against me.

Within a second I hit the ground,
Choking up blood.
With pain to my back,
And light smell to my clothes.
A well known voice behind me.

I think it’s enough,
I’m by the end now.
I looked behind me,
With a dead look in my eyes.
As I saw her sitting in a pit of ashes.


I got up and ran into her arms.
I had been looking all over for her.
I felt happy that I found her.
I cried in her arms,
Finally we emerged as one whole soul.
She had been forgotten for a long time,
And She had finally giving up.
But then I came crashing down from above.
Making her heart almost stop.

I had been falling over the memories we had as one.
I came for her, and that only saved her.
We once were one person,
Until I changed and abandoned her.
But In the end I came,
and I ended the search of myself.

Those emotions keeping me awake.
Eyes never closing fully.
My life isn’t complete yet.
The last piece is unknown.

Those feelings keeping me aware.
Eyes observing everything.
What am I missing?
Where am I lost at?

The puzzle I can never finish.
The emptiness I never can fill.
The feeling I can never experience.
The piece I never can have.

The light I reach for is further away from my heart.
The wind in my soul blew it out.
The storm in my head never clears up.
The flaw in my life I’ve always wondered about.

Ever since that day I fell.
That time I kept falling down.
You catched me already broken.
And left me due to my poor shape.

When I’m alone I like to think.
Think about life and what I want.
Like daydreaming but with a more deep meaning.
A storm of thoughts every time.

That’s only when I’m alone, completely alone and away from everything.
Just taking some time off from the world.
So I’m only in my own imaginary world.
With music as my only company other than myself.

I’ve gotten more time.
The time I’ve always needed.
The break I’ve always wanted.
Myself I’ve always happened to have.

I like the world when it’s dark.
Stars shining everywhere I go.
Street lights to show me the way.
So I don’t get lost dreaming.

It’s been a while now since I’ve felt good being alone.
The music slowly disappeared, with reality taking it’s place.
Dreams got shorter, time got slower.
I’m still happy, I’m always happy.

Somehow I lost the time, the time lost me.
I couldn’t find a place for it to stay.
Still I have it, and it’s too much.
I couldn’t control it.

Tick Tock time got faster.
The world got slower.
Took over and destroyed you.
Followed you and told you what you should do.

When you’re about to break down.
And your heart is scattered.
The tears won’t even come out.
And feel too lonely to even care anymore.


It was too late to change.
All the little time we shared.
I regret everything and every single detail.
I hate you, but that’s not my true feelings.


It was your mistake.
But also mine, because I let you in my life.
It’s my fault for not seeing your true side.
It ended up hurting me.


I won’t ever look at your disgusting face.
But I want to see your smile that would fix everything.
Thinking about everything.
I can’t stop wanting to see you, I need you


When you can't even speak normally like always.
You need to look away and change the subject.
I was shy, but maybe too open minded.
But my feelings has now broken down.


It’s time to part ways and look forward.
Maybe we’ll see eachother again, as strangers.
And not thinking back on the past.
Still I wish we hadn't met at all.

When you fall down into madness you just need to hold on.
Hold on to my hand.
If you keep holding I won't let you fall.
I need you and you need me.

Holding tight.
Your hand in my hand.
Cold meets warm.
Like a summer night.

I’m above, you’re below.
Looking down, looking up.
Eyes meet and a smile on our lips.

You close your eyes and see only darkness.
You slowly open your eyes and see me.
I will always stay by your side.
Looking down and protect you.

But if I should lose my hand hold and you should fall.
I would jump to save you even if it means goodbye.
But that’s just IF and IF never happens.

Only our hands could touch.
Feeling each others body temperature.
We couldn’t be together.

The ticking time meant nothing for you and me.
As long you’re with me.
Happiness, sadness.
Is two diffrent things.
They're not meant together.

I’m scared to close my eyes.
If I do you might disappear.
You’re my sorrowfulness, I’m your happiness.
Hate, love.

I hate you for bringing me sadness.
You love me for bringing you happiness.
But I won’t give up, so just hold on.
Tight.

One breath is all it takes to
change my identity.

One step is enough for
My uncontrollable mind.

An imperceptible hand is
Leading me through their amusing creation.

Eyes once closed,  nevermore opens.
Hollow thoughts,  escaping my lips.

They mislead me,
Into the the confinement of my own emotions.

They enjoy messing with my mentality.
They relish getting under my skin; deep in.


They secured a place for me,  the spotlight.
Making me entertain every personality.

They compelled me to anger them,
Making their voices get louder.

Their intention to sever my consciousness.
They earn for my downfall.



They accomplished their goal,  a destructive doll.
A humanoid, a cold being.

They exhibits me,
Carries me through the center of myself.

Their amusement is crazily addicting.
It won’t be long before the invasion comes.

The aggression of my lunatic identities.
They're keeping my world in a hypnosis.


They're enemies inside of me.
They're making me the attraction of their psychotic parade.

I can’t wake up from the dream.
No matter how much I try.
Even how much I scream.
I know I’m ready to die.

But the light frees me.
From the closed eyes.
Now I live to see.
The so beautiful sunrise.

I won’t notice the lies.
But I don’t even know the truth.
Between your so violent behavior.
That you forgot who you are.


I won’t ask you to change.
Only you can ask yourself and do it.
But you’ll might lose me before it ends.
Or I’ll might lose you forever.


Show me the love you gave me at first.
Your soft and enjoyable side.
With laughs everyday and smiles.
I thought that this would never change.


I wanted you to notice the harm you’ve done to me.
I wanted you to remember our first love.
This isn’t love anymore, it’ll never be like that again.
You showed me everything about you.


The lovable side, and soft side. I loved you.
The playful side, and wild side. I liked you.
The cold side, and mean side. I stayed.
The violent side, and evil side. I was only there.


You pretended, to love me and not to hurt me.
I pretended, to care.
All those personalities of you.
Were sides of you that never existed.

Laying in my bed.
Sleeping and dreaming.
About things I left unsaid.
My heart's still beating.

Waking up dizzy and sweaty
Stepping on the freezing floor.
My head feels heavy.
I slowly open the door.

Stepping out of my room.
Where I’ve been locked up.
Still night, is what I would assume.
I feel like I’m about to throw up

Walking down the creaking stairs.
Step by step, an unpleasant sound.
Down to all the unawares.
The touch of the cold concrete ground.

I can’t stand up anymore.
As I stretch my hand.
I collapse down on the floor.
This is not how I had planned.

I need to wake up from this gross nightmare.
I don’t want to have a single regret.
There’s a secret I need to share.
Before I forget.

Destruction slayed all emotions.
Cold and stormy in my head.
A sudden shock to my heart.
And my eyes turned red.

She’s sweet and kind.
She’s smiling and laughing.
No one sees her frame of mind.
No one hears her heart cracking.

She’s beautiful and thin.
She’s popular and smart.
No one feels her evil twin.
No one sees her fake heart.

She loves her family and friends.
She loves animals and strangers.
No one notice her mind of cleanse.
Those around don’t feel the danger.

The time is near.
To see her other side.
Everyone feels fear.
They're afraid to be alive.

Sweet and kind changes to evil and cruel.
She have the laughter of the devil.
She is cutting the flesh with an edge tool.
The feeling of insanity is so special.

The ****** path she chose.
She is in a whole other world.
Smelling the black rose.
Her thoughts is swirled.

Black.
Red.
Light won't come back.
The victims of her bloodshed.

Her heart remains enclosed in darkness.
The colour of her mind is pitch black.
She is truly heartless.
She won’t and can’t turn back.

Her life was just a plain cover.
This is her true colour.

I use the word* “love” *as a drug for my emptiness inside.

I’m lost in a box of toys.
My childhood memories.
It’s little world for someone small,
Even a demon could fit inside.

I used to play with them.
But never did I realize
that they were the ones playing with me.
I'm a doll.

It was never a secret,
But it was something I could never speak of.
The voices I heard at night.
The shadows scaring me for life.

They wanted me to play, and play and play.
I was trapped in a corner of their twisted intentions.
I didn't give in to them.
I was calm but with a hint of fear.

Now I'm running in circles.
Getting chased by living things.
It’s still a little world for someone big,
Even a demon could stay.

Run. Hide. Repeat.
Scream and scream for them to stop.
No help, no listeners for my prayers.
It’s endless.

It should’ve been the opposite.
But I had to pay for my sins.
They put me back,
And closed the lit.

I was never a human to begin with.
I’m the doll that are meant to be abused.
Forever and ever.
I’m still lost in a box of toys.

Will I ever be the same?
Why would I even ask...
You’re the one to blame.
Will you ever take off your mask?

So I can look directly in your eyes…
To find your hidden word.
Seeing through all the lies.
My vision's getting blurred.

I’ll ask another question.
Will you ever be the same?
No answer, only an emotionless expression.
I shouldn't have accepted your game.

It’s time to tell me.
The word none have ever heard.
Please, let your emotions free.
Now, not deferred.

Meeting your eyes.
You’re telling me i’m too stressed.
I just wanted to hear it, instead of lies.
I think I’m just…
Obsessed.

I wish I could fall asleep by your side, in your arms
And wake up to the same sight of us

I never imagined how silence could be so loud.
I miss your touch, your skin, our time that I loved

But it's gone, you're gone, no feelings, nothing.
Empty. Empty. Empty.

I wish I could use another word, but it fits so perfect.

Me, my life, the world.

I tell you goodnight every night in my sleep,
I speak your name like it was the only ting I knew.

You drove me crazy, and I left without explanation.

Now I'm used to being alone, it takes time to get to know it again. And now I never want anything else.

Doctor, oh doctor.
Please help her remember.

Help her.
Help her.
Help me.

Get her out of the fog.
Lead her the right way.

Wake up.
Wake up.
Don’t sleep.

The abuses behind my back.
The darkness swallows her.

Don’t go.
Don’t go.
Come back.

                                   Doctor, oh doctor.
Would you please do something.

So lifeless.
So lifeless.
So dead.

She’s disappearing.
Her memories’ slowly fading.

Get it.
Get it.
Give it.

Give her the antidote.
She’s so toxic.

Always remember.
Always remember.
Never forget.

She was my medicine.
But now she’s expired.

Amnesia.
Amnesia.
Remember me.

She’s my drug.
She made me an addict.

Take it.
Take it.
Devour it.

Once you take a taste,
You can never forget.

I can’t carry on with this.
It has me stricken from tonight.
Far down the dark abyss.
The fear is what I fight.

I’m falling down and never hitting the bottom.
I no longer have control of my soul.
Everyone has me forgotten.
My heart is just another endless hole.

It locked me up from the inside.
I’m trapped in my own skin.
My mentality is horrified.
It’s like my other evil twin.

I can’t escape my reality.
I’ve accepted my fate.
It’s just how it’s meant to be.
I’m now filled with aggressive hate.

The world I disappeared from.
Erased memories of my existence.
The voices told me to come.
I could hear them from a distance.

They kicked out my soul.
They made me strife.
Never again can I become whole.
My body is just another Vessel of Life.

Night
Stars, silent
Clearing, moon, shining
Darkening around you, appearing in the horizon
Light, starless, disappearing
Awake, beautiful
Day

Leaving your home for a time.
Going on an adventure to mysteries places.
Always ending up a chyme.
Seeing all kinds of faces.

Meeting supernatural beings.
Defeating the evil character.
Doing things that always has meanings.
Always free of an inheritor.

Finding the love of your life.
And living happily ever after, and always extending?
Even in their afterlife?
Why never A Horrible Ending?

You swam in the ocean of tears.
You stayed in the forest of death.
You ate the fruit of hatred.
You killed the one of love.
You spoke the words of hell.


Kept all of the tears in one place.
Protected the nature of death.
Kept eating all hatred.
You killed the one that you love.
Only you can bear the words from hell.

Into my ears.
Out of my mouth.
Listening.
Telling.


Into my eyes.
Inside my mind.
Seeing.
Keeping.


In my hands.
Under my feet
Taking.
Crushing.


Locked faces.
Open scars.
People.
Hurting.


Things they do
Thing I do
Remembering
Fooling


I know them.
I can use them.
Those.
***** Little Secrets.

I'm writing my feelings down,
to let people know how it feels to be me.

I see things no one else do or even could.
I hear them too, whispering in my ear.
They’re haunting me in even my dreams.
But the one vision would never appear.


Eyelids closed, blocking off everything.
It’s a part of my life, my body, my mind.
Still I never even noticed it.
It was making me more and more blind.


One day I woke up, it was dark and freezing.
I got overwhelmed with a beautiful flashback.
It gave me the ability to see.
To see the blackest black.

Breathing in one last breath of air.
Laying with a smile painted on my lips.
Humming the melody of my favorite song,
and finally closing my eyes for the last time.

The dark is devouring the light,
keeping the shadows away.
Rain pouring down,
taking away my last flame of life.
The wind with it’s cold touch,
making my whole body shiver.

Looking at the stars
before moving my eyes to the moon.
Reaching after the light I couldn’t have.
The beautiful scenery that lasts a lifetime,
And the last glance I got before leaving.

Never looked at the night sky again.
The final hours before drifting away.
Too dark to see, too pretty to ignore.
Black was my colourful colour.

Running as fast as I can.
The only opportunity I’ve got.
I knew it before it even began.
I won’t ever get caught.

Breathing heavy and fast.
The weather has turned bad.
Sought shelter in a house I almost passed.
Now when I think back, I feel so sad.

My tongue is forever away.
They took my reason to speak.
They’ve haunted my astray.
I’m wasting time being weak.

They caught up to me.
I feel like running forever.
It’s a circle...You can’t be free.
My reason to be alive is what they’ll sever.

It’s going around in my head.
I don’t know what they are.
They’ll stay till I’m dead.
They’ve locked me up in a jar.

Keeping my soul till the end.
Shaking the container from the inside.
My emotions is what they distend.
Nowhere to run or hide.

Feeling the presence of my life fading.
The nightmare is only about to begin.
My mentality is what they’re breaking.
I know I’m Haunted From Within.

Finding the love of your life.
Never thinking of their true selves.
Never seeing the hidden knife.
Only seeing ourselves.

Never acknowledge the bad side
After everything you’ve done.
I’m no longer the one to decide.
I’m no longer allowed to have fun.

Smiles turns to cries.
Minds turns to stone.
Eyes turns to ice.
We’re all just another clone.

You can't hide the truth from me.
I’ve known it all along.
But it’s too late to be free.
I can no longer be strong.

You came to my house to say goodbye.
Left a present of our memories with a bad smell.
I knew everything was just a lie.
The only thing you gave me were dead flowers from hell.

Taking one step out of the door.
My anxiety is getting worse.
Why isn’t it me they ignore.
Why won’t anyone just disperse.

Can’t escape the cold eyes.
The judgement follows you.
Humanity is not something you can customize.
Everyone sees me as taboo.

I wish I could just disappear from people’s eyes.
I wish I couldn’t hear because everything is too loud.
Then people won’t notice my cries.
When they do I’ll just be hiding in the crowd.

Holding on to the last piece.
Before it turns to ashes.
The fire will forever increase.
Dancing fire clashes.

Laying on the cold ground.
Only the fading light remains.
It always have me spellbound.
Cold blood running through my veins.

Making me so sleepy.
But keeping me wide awake.
The vision goes in so deeply.
It’s making my eyes break.

Still I keep holding on.
It’s my reason to be alive.
If it goes out, my life would be gone.
Hope is how I survive.

What if it’s just a dream?
Have I made the wrong decision?
It’s the same place per diem.
Is it just a fake vision?

You with the sweet smile.
Looking anywhere but at me.
Wanting to meet your eyes just for a while.
Your eyes is always the escapee.

Your words are cutting deep in my flesh.
Your voice is surrounding me.
My tears of pure blood is fresh.
I didn’t want to see your reality.

You with the cruel smile.
Looking directly at me.
I never want to look in your eyes of hostile.
Your emotionless eyes makes me flee.

Looking deep into my soul.
Telling all the lies.
I no longer have control.
Of those cold eyes.

Hands placed gently on the clear water.
Seeing my blurry reflection from the disturbance my hands made.
Hearing a sweet voice calling from a distance, it’s my mater.
My mother is making my long and pitch black hair into a braid.

Sitting on the swing tied to an old apple tree.
Looking at all the colours in the sky, of the sunset.
I dig in the dirt by the tree, so I could find the long lost key.
The key to the place I never can forget.

Because I met you there, sitting on the overgrown rock.
Looking down on the clear water, not a single disturbance were.
He gave me the key to his heart, only I could unlock.
Our nose began to bleed, both concur.

We laughed till we began to cry, now laying in silence.
Sharing each others our nightmares.
Never a blink of shyness.
His hand is going through my long thin and black hairs.

I woke up lying on the cold grass with dew.
My eyes see black but I know I’m covered in red.
Not only you but now it’s me too.
That woke up dead.

I was the happiest person alive.
Until someone destroyed my imagination.

I fell and I fell,
I’m still falling.
Deeper and deeper down,
it’s endless.

I thought and I thought,
and I’m still thinking.
Forgetting and forgetting,
more and more.

Errors and errors,
you reside in my mind.
I’m getting blind and blind,
you’re the only one I see.

Colder and colder,
you kept the warmth.
Silence and silence,
you’re the only one I need.

Darker and darker,
you and me.
Abuse and abuse,
still you’re the one I choose.

Wounds and wounds,
can’t heal them all.
Sane and Insane,
that’s what we are.

Alone and alone,
time’s longer.
False and true,
I still love you.

The tears are rolling down my face.
It won’t stop because of you.
You’ve never been there for me in first place.
You won’t let my voice through.

I’ve always wondered why.
Why I couldn’t love you.
You were always the bad guy.
Love between us is taboo.

The tears rolling down my face is dry now.
It stopped, not because of you.
I’ve ever wondered how.
How I’d hate you.

You said you loved me a thousand times.
But you were too slow.
You asked me if I could love you in a lifetime.
But my answer was only no.

I don’t know what to do anymore.
I've been running all my life.
Not even once did they catch up.
But the end of my time is near.


I can feel their presence.
Sneaking from corner to corner.
Hiding in the deepest space of darkness.
For only the blind eye to see.

Turning around after the light.
Seeing shadows in the corner of my eye.
I always keep repeating the same mistake.
I’m forever trying to escape.


They held my hand through tough times.
They would be there for me.
But now they left me like everyone else.
They did it because of my bad habit.


Watching me in dark times.
Hitting me till I can’t stop bleeding.
I hate them, but they love me.
I could never understand it.


I always tell the truth.
That’s why it’s me getting left behind.
Like a piece of rotten flesh.
No one would ever come near me.


I could fall deep down into isolation.
For only my body to wither.
Bones sticking out from my skin.
Laying in my own tears, regretting it all.


My heart would slowly crack and turn my eyes to ice.
Turn my blood to nothing.
They told me to take care of their friends.
They forced themselves into my life.


I could never understand what all these things were.
I was drowning in them.
Felt like a new person after the party.
A Party Of Emotions.

Turn the volume up.
Let it wash your mind away.
Just listen.
Change yourself.

Prepare your world.
Let time and imagination collide.
Watch it fall, watch it crumble.
Pray, and pray for something improbable.

Close your eyes, sleep.
Feel the drug kick in.
Hitting you harder.
Making you insane.

Taking a step towards nothing.
Look behind without emotion.
Wait.
The truth is far away.

Hold your own hand.
Stop thinking.
Say his words.
And make them happen.

Stay alone, stay forever here.
No escape, no rescues.
No one cares.
You won’t even care.

Hands choking you.
You hold your breath anyway.
The air is poisonous around him.
He wants control.

You never struggled.
You believed in fate.
You’re hopeless.
Useless.

Make your own history.
Tell them about your life.
Your suffering.
Your time in hell.

*And show them how you escaped a fate of only death.

I love the sky above my head.
I love the water in the lake bed.
I love the stars in the beautiful night.
I love the twilight before the sunlight.
I love the flowers of the garden.
I love the endless margin.
I love the chilliness of the breeze.
I love the freedom of the seas.
I love the taste of sweets.
I love the the silence of the streets.
I love the ones in front of me.
I love the carefree reality.