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Enoa 2d
The underbelly of the beast
Is just more context
Tucked away
In looser corners of a mind
Void of lilac sunsets and
Airport poetry
And your belly
Hollowed out through the hips
By all those generic lovers
Doesn’t need more fundamentals
Only acid dreams of desert symmetry
Joy 4d
I arrange them everywhere.
On my bed,
       in my pillow case,
                               in vases,
                                    on windowsills.
I'm trying to remember
the girl I was before.
I'm not sure
           who I was
                                   when I was three,
or eight,
                                                  or twelve,
or sixteen.
and teachers
                          is easy.
I'm more afraid that little me
would squint her eyes in disgust
at the sight of what I have become.
But I cannot seem to remember
who I was before.
My thoughts.
My skin.
My hair.
They're gone.
I struggle to collect the things I am
in a tidy bundle.
                 cover my hands.
Yet I cannot remember.
                  I practice forgiveness
                                               in theory.
But could they forgive me?
I'd like to think they can.
           I am
Yet does it matter?
Would it matter
             if     they    didn't?
Or would it be better
             if    they   didn't?
Aaron LaLux Oct 4
Making memories,
wondering who sent for me,
if it wasn’t you then who was it,
and if you didn’t why are you here anyways,

have man have machine,
have real life have dream,
were you born or were you made,
there isn’t a difference or so it would seem,

you don’t believe,
because you’ve never seen a miracle,
that’s why you **** for a fee,
and why you’re always so cynical,

and maybe that’s why I write,
more than I do anything else,
as a way of trying to jog your memory,
while running up the bill,

at the bar trying to wash away,
things I can’t recall,
in this present day dystopia,
call me Jack I’ll call you Jill,

getting drowsy,
must be the pills,
on a plane,
going somewhere else,

travel some much,
sometimes i wake up and don’t know what country I’m in,
it’s a dog eat dog world so cat naps can be dangerous,
especially when you drink and drink sleep walking on Ambien,

a creature with amnesia and beautiful features,
how’d you become such a miracle,
are you really that perfect,
or is that just the way I remember you,

guess it doesn’t matter either way,
because maybe I don’t even remember you,
maybe you’re not mine because maybe you never were,
maybe nothing is mine not even the memories I have of you,

maybe it’s all just programmed,
by a woman behind a glass wall,
maybe in the end we have the same thing we had in the beginning,
which is absolutely nothing at all,

making memories,
wondering who sent for me,
if it wasn’t you then who was it,
and if you didn’t why are you here anyways…

∆ LaLux ∆
clever Oct 2
you stay forever see through.
you say, "I can't read you".
all I need is you and nicotine.
a month ahead, got to keep it clean.
daytrip took it to ten, again
and it's not the same as it's ever been.
you wanna drink just a little more.
you want a hit until you hit the floor.
you wanna go until you can't anymore.
but i don't think i can anymore.
Aaron LaLux May 29
Remember when,
the Amazon meant the rainforest,
remember when,
Birds were winged creatures that flew above us,

remember when,
our memory wasn’t something on our phone,
remember when,
memory was something in our minds?

Do you remember?

Do you remember,
when we were Light Beings,
not confined to physical bodies,
remember when being a being wasn’t so disgusting?

Remember when we lived,
without farting or pooping or bleeding or sneezing,
remember when we loved for the sake of love,
remember when we’d get together without needing a reason,

Do you remember?

Do you remember unconditional love,
I mean real unconditional love,
back when what we did actually seemed to matter,
before we gave up and stopped giving a fck,

before we threw in the white towel,
and sold our souls to buy in by trying to buy the right vowels,
remember when we had each other to believe in,
before we bought into the dreams they sell and we sold out?

Do you remember?

Do you remember when we lived freedom,
and it wasn’t just a dream we believed in,
do you remember when our little personal revolutions were evolutionary,
do you remember when we could trust everything we were seeing,

now the whole background seems like a green screen,
now the whole world seems like a crime scene,

in a Mandala of Samsara,
trying to break the cycle with Tantra Mantras,
and I wan’t to be Dr. Jekyll all harmless,
but sometimes I scare myself and become a monster,

but I guess that’s the price we pay to play The Game,
ah this life is expensive but liberation is priceless,
so I pay my dues and keep moving through,
making moves like there’s nothing to lose but this life I shine until lifeless,

taking trips without falling to destinations that are calling,
my name by ship car or plane trying to get it all but in the process forgetting everything,
so I preemptively apologize if we meet again,
and I admit that I easily forget and have to ask you to please remind me your name,

remember when,
the Amazon meant the rainforest,
remember when,
Birds were winged creatures that flew above us,

remember when,
our memory wasn’t something on our phone,
remember when,
memory was something in our minds?

Do you remember?

∆ LaLux ∆
Alec Astaire Mar 12
Listen, I’m so sorry for it all:
The distance or the bailouts with only a last minute call
To be honest you’re lucky if I even text you back
It’s not that I don’t love you guys the reason is that-

In the eyes of all of ya’ll, I’m the life of the party
But I lament: my well of life is almost empty
And you have every right to call me selfish
that I should keep it all to myself
But how could I ever have enough to share when my well’s almost out

I’m not that man worth admiring anymore
That guy to chug a Monster and break dance on the floor
Not because i knew how to dance at all
But because I lived to find you beside me on the floor laughing so hard we all cried

I know you miss that guy:
The guy who could make anyone into a friend in the blink of an eye,
The guy who’d spend an entire day preparing a single joke so he could make your day
The guy who didn’t care what anyone thought of him
The guy who always had an idea to make today a day worth remembering

You guys, I miss him too-
And that’s why I keep my distance from you
I can’t go anywhere without feeling hollow and blue
I could never bring life to the party

Nowadays I just chase a drink or two
Attempting to escape the existential dread that’s bound to pursue
As I waste away in my corner glowering
at the room
Daydreaming of how I once danced
like that too

I quest every day after that amazing guy I once knew
The doctor’s say I have depression 
and anxiety..
But unless you’ve experienced living every day trapped within a shell of a person with expectations you could never 
live up to,
Here’s your explanation:
I have amnesia.. and I don’t remember
who I am

And if you could maybe try being there for me instead of watching me wish every moment towards impending oblivion.. then maybe...
just maybe
we can both find who we’re looking for
It's me?
Can you recall?
Do you remember me?
'Coz i remember you
Every nuances of your figures
The shape of fragility that binds with sweet serenade
Oh, it is so thee
The way you twirl your hips when the beat embraces your chest
As you skirt my path, leaning on you
The caress of your lips pressed to mine
Talking to me
Walking with me
Dancing with me
Loving with me
I reminisce your steps
Your eyes in night life
Your red cheeks playing with giggles
Your teasing touch upon my hands
You are my wonderland
And forevermore will be

Do you remember me?
I love you...
Do you remember me?
I still care..
Do you remember me?
Please, hold me..

Falls went down
Mind breaks down
As my heart bleeds to your memory
Our memory that can't be remembered by you
Coz yours fade away

I love you....
I will still make you remember me and wait for your return.
Lost in the glow of the eyes (Past)
The World, I don't really care (Present)

Wish for amnesia (Future)
Theme: Past-Present-Future
Then, nothing matters.
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