Somewhere
I know you're there
But I wish you'd be here.

Dark Delusion Oct 12

Your toxic smoke,
burning in my lungs.

Dark Delusion Oct 12

My mouth's at loss
Longing after your blood

  Oct 12 Dark Delusion
Chi

People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"Damn, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought



We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest



I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken



How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  



How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself





Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.

  Oct 12 Dark Delusion
Xyns

I felt my heart begin to pound
Your voice had that familiar sound..

I saw you slowly walk up those stairs
I knew I was right to be so scared..

The way you looked at me..
I could barely breathe..

The air was heavy with doubt
Who knew silence could be so loud?

Loving you was always so hard..
..I guess..
"We're better apart."

Never love a poet so much,
for she will build her world around you.
She’ll contrast you to the sun and stars;
she will love you so.

She will give you lovely notes
to brighten up your day.
You’ll find it a little weird
but you look forward to it, anyway.

Never love a poet so much,
for she will invest a lot in you.
She will become the person you’ll only ever need
without taking a lot from you.

She will take you to places,
and make you experience things
within a room's four corners
and her words as your wings.

Never love a poet so much,
for even after all those things
she will take away her love,
and leave you without a trace
with her heartache as her fuel
for another masterpiece.

a poet leaves.
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