I was blessed with a smile that could convince you of anything,
But cursed with a tongue that could never make you stay.

The feelings don't hurt much anymore
But the memories are shards of glass
Swirling in my head.
It's like,
I can't feel your touch
But I remember loving it
When you touched me.
And I can't hear your laugh
But I remember how my body
Liquified at the sound.
And I can't see your face
But I remember its beautiful shape
And how you'd smile at me
As I came into view.
I wish I could pretend
That your memory is you.

I feel so bloated
When I think of you
Like I've swallowed a hundred pills
To forget your silhouette
Against the moonlight
And the perfect edge
Of your sculpted jawline
And the contours of your chest
That move with your ragged breath
And your very strong hands
That are oddly so gentle.
It's almost like I can hear you
Whispering my name
Or feel your arm
Gripping my waist.
These images are so vivid
Why aren’t you here

I've grown tired of being there for you
To hold at night
When your mind
Suppresses your faith.
There for you to conquer
When you feel powerless.
There for you to love
When you feel generous.
You've stitched me up
With the thinnest of strings
That threaten to unravel
At the slightest touch
And you're anything but gentle.
Your carelessness keeps you unaware
And your incognizance renders you useless.
I've grown tired of holding you up
While my knees shake and quiver.
And I've grown tired of pouring my heart out
Into your impermeable hands.
And I've grown tired
Of growing tired.
I think I'll rest now.

She breathes fire
That tastes of the cremation
Of her forefathers
Their ashes grit
In her eyes, spit
In her hands
She marches
Atop marshland
Swallowing graves
Of their mothers
And lovers
Her thick, leather skin
Wicked and weathered
Wields weapons
Of resurrection
With commanding force
She breathes life
Into desolate plains
She breathes fire
And they rise
Again

A year it has been
A year it has taken me
To reconstruct this wall
Even higher than before.
In one night it has taken you
No more than a smile
To send me back to work
Brick by brick.

You standing for one night
Leaves me crying for a day.
And I don't think running in circles
Will make me less dizzy
Like you told me it would.
Of course I wanted your heart
I just wasn't sure what to say,
And my life kept spinning
And I couldn't make it stop
Long enough to land where you are.

And even on
My brightest days,
With thoughts of you
Come storms.

Sad excuse of a man
Only yourself to blame
For a life filled with nothing
And a mouthful of shame.

As invisible as air,
I idle near the door,
Hopeful for a brief greeting
From your burdensome feet.
In and out,
Never forgetting
To step on my very core.
I wait and wait
Knowing that someone
Will eventually have to come,
Forgetting that they'll just as soon
Have to leave.

The rips in my sweater
Are a metaphor
For the way your cold hands
Still keep me warm,
And your glittering eyes
After 5 glasses
Are the reason I've diagnosed myself
With insomnia.
Your lips part like the clouds
And expose my soul
To the warmth of your chest
And I actually struggle to breathe
When you say my name
But I can't think of a better way to die.

Nightfall,
Morning breaks
Our hands fit
In the same place
On that one side of the bed
Where cool sheets unwrinkled
Leave a lingering presence
That smells of vanilla
And torment

Your twilight, my dawn
So alike, so far
We cling to our sheets
Awash in old memories
My cheeks toward the sun
Your moon shining on what used to be
What could never be

And even when my eyes are closed
Your light dances behind my lids
Illuminating the path to your open heart
My North Star guiding me home