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Words may run out,
But the hunger to write is insatiable.
Jason Adriel Feb 10
perhaps
i should have
seen the obvious:
the margins between
hope, fear, illusion
and the bitter truth
and how i
shouldn't have
mixed them all
into a blur
to satiate
my innermost
desire.

You.
Realization is always tough...
Anastasia Jul 2019
It hurts
All of it
An ache
What an insatiable hunger
I'm hurting
Are you?
Why
ayb Jun 2019
He doesn't say my name anymore; not since the first time around. I am baby girl, angel, gorgeous. He hasn't said my name since that day.
"Well, ---, I don't think this is going to work."
That was the day I drove to the boat ramp at my lake, cut the brakes in my car, and waited.
The day I quit my job, dropped out of school, and deleted all of my social media account.
The time I dedicated all my free time - and time was all I had anymore - to researching how to recreate that fire in me and then how to treat third-degree burns.
The day I learned that time melts like chocolate when you hold it long enough, and it looks a lot like blood on my hands.
The day I learned white knuckling memories doesn't mean they seal the fractures between my fingers.
The day I learned some things just aren't mine to keep.
I've been touchier since that day; just one poke and I'm black and blue - yellow is rare, but it happens sometimes.
The doctor gave me some pills to help with the ache, and they keep me pretty full, so I don't know why I still have that gurgle in my stomach almost all the time, why I still have that itch in my veins when something is almost but not quite.
I tell myself constantly that a substitute can only hold off the craving for a little, but I need it now, and I never learn.
6.16.19
lila Mar 2019
you were my medicine
but now im overdosing
straight to the brain
when i take you in
doses so large people wonder
how im not dead yet

and my friends are in my ear
screaming, crying, reminding me
that all you caused was hurt
but your love was just so blinding

maybe our love was laced
because darling, im high on you
and youre high on me
our romance became chemical

****, u were my medicine
and now im overdosing
everytime you go
it leaves me jonesing
for one more hit
the sweet sensation of acidic touch
i couldnt afford to believe in
such thing as too much
euphoria

the sting, the drip, the pain
the energy i get
only lasts a fleeting moment
so i crave something harder

my need for pain
became insatiable
i dont know if im capable
of staying sober  
3/26/2019
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