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5d · 113
Odds Are
lX0st 5d
My will slims to none
In this lonely life for one
Feb 26 · 221
Terra
lX0st Feb 26
Dirt caked crust
Gives way
To layers of mantle
Above afflicted fireplace
Bearing picture frames
Bitter memories
Pride, then regret
Memento mori

I will not die here
Two tiers from ****
I feel it burning
In my core
Patiently waiting
To take me in pity
As I wish it had done
Before
Dec 2018 · 361
Cold Front
lX0st Dec 2018
Can’t you hear me?
My tongue hurls your name
Into the wind
Moving east
Urging storm’s brewing
Rising with the chill
Of eery lake
Carrying my echoes
Through clouds of haze
Damp desperation
Voice, strained, releases
Surges of rain
And sleet. Pooling,
Pleading at your feet
Drown in my essence
Watch as it breathes
Watch as it weaves
Through the valleys and summits
Of your goosebumps
In intricate lattice
Ice lace tourniquet
Asphyxiating sadness
From sore hands. Solitude
From weary eyes. Silence
From blackened lungs
Darker than the thundering sky
Reverberating anthems
Of my unfulfilled soul
And my direful need
To be made whole
By you
Dec 2018 · 671
Hell or High Water
lX0st Dec 2018
I keep the shower window open
In 20 degree weather
There’s somethin’ about feeling
The freeze and burn together
Fusing two halves,
Fueling one desire
Steam pries at pores, like
Needle nose pliers
Winter exploits wounds
Haughty exhales through
Diamond ****** wrist cutters
Cascading
Cherry brandy drain water
Licking ankles purple
Branding Frost’s musings
As my final verse
Fire, ice — whichever comes first
Duality be ******,
I favor efficiency
I’ll marvel as *******
At the ****** who takes me
But know that, once
Is all I can endure
And of this, I am sure
Dec 2018 · 278
Champagne & Billie Holiday
lX0st Dec 2018
I'm afraid
If I’m awake much longer
I wont wake up
Tomorrow
Dec 2018 · 165
Hazel
lX0st Dec 2018
I still enjoy how sunlight
Softens the green rim
‘Round my eyes
‘Til they’re honey

But the warmth—
I never feel it fully
Dec 2018 · 1.4k
Lucid Dreaming
lX0st Dec 2018
On nights like this
Tired eyes reminisce
Of a former life
Like French doors opening
To familiar gardens
Where prunes grow on fingers
And lavender blooms
In the iridescent luster
Of warm water droplets
Serenading shoulders
Where reason and chaos blend
Into peach white tea
Swallows carry songs
Through their wings
Stirring decadent incense
Of exhaling trees
Sunlight waltzes with
Saturated leaves
Their indelible patterns
Rhythmic marigold sleeves
Carefree meanders along
Luscious promenade, swathed
In pomegranate-stained poppies
Ripe for the picking
In them, a fragrant ecstasy
Alive inside this memory
Nov 2018 · 526
Excalibur
lX0st Nov 2018
Gin-fueled hunger struck
I stumbled to the kitchen
Fumbling for satisfaction
Yet found myself
******* utensils instead
Peripheral glimmer seized me
I separated chef knife
From stone block
With righteous appetite
Like King Arthur
Oh, how I pictured
What it might be like
To plunge steel beast
Through hollow stomach
Tempt it to twist and saunter
Through tired spine
Would I feel pain
Succeeding shock?
Or would my skin sigh relief
Delighted to release
Pressure seething beneath?

I am still hungry
lX0st Nov 2018
Take a measuring tape
To my wrists
Watch my veins
Pulse and lift
Grip the width
Measure my hips
Scarred length curves
Burning core obscured, sip
From my vacant ****
Press to my lips
That cold metal tip
Gauge my irreverence
In passion and spit
Unravel your desires
Inch by inch
And quantify my existence
My sufficience
In whips
Nov 2018 · 225
Memento Mori
lX0st Nov 2018
When my body and soul
No longer entwine
What will become of my spine?

Does it sigh solaced croon
A hymn-silken harpoon
Propelling me
Through
Threshold everlasting?

Or will it crumble by piece
Like moldy blue cheese
Marrow vinaigrette feeds
Famished nerve roots
And dirt
Absorbing lost life,
Fueling the Earth?

Perhaps a doctor
Will pass it along
Loaded syringe,
Silver and mauve
Into flesh as fresh
As death’s final breath
Enervated vertebrae
A-positive strong

Or maybe it retreats
Into shadows sea-deep
Steel-tipped discs
Flash of shimmer
As they sink
Footholds for lost souls
Sin-dark landmarks
Untouched by warmth
And
Unseen by stars
Nov 2018 · 346
Sustain
lX0st Nov 2018
You coaxed me to sleep
With your stories of peace
Of happier times
That were just out of reach.
I dreamt long, that night
Nov 2018 · 143
Forgive Me, Father
lX0st Nov 2018
I am no child of God
Something sinister designed me
With a heart that hurts too deeply
Sword tongue that cuts too sharply
Skin that bruises easy
Eyes that don’t see clearly
Some narcissism, optimism
Pinch of pessimism
For good measure
Pathetic
Brain cell battlefield
Truth fronts on both ends
Devil’s distorted spectrum
I falter in the middle
An impossible distance
Clouded by cognizance
And carelessness
There is only now
And now, I am
Everything and nothing
Unbalanced, unfallen
The void in silence
Sudden vacuum of air
White light in sheer darkness
Vicious cause for despair
Sweet surrender is calling
But I don’t belong there
Nov 2018 · 216
Equator
lX0st Nov 2018
Your veins swing
Through treetops
In strands of
Tattered thread
In hopes
Their tips
Will someday
Be tread
Nov 2018 · 240
307
lX0st Nov 2018
307
He blows a 1,700 mph kiss
Ringing through the air
With anticipation. Like
A child expecting
A school bell, or
The *****’s chord
On Sunday morning

Lead greets skin slowly,
With purpose. Gaping crater
In charred flesh, chest
Expands with distant breaths
A public display of mercy
Please, come join me

Free will loaded. Cocked back
Shaking hands grasp at
Philosophical evidence that
Life
Is anything but
they didn’t deserve to die
Nov 2018 · 586
Citrine
lX0st Nov 2018
You kiss me with your native tongue
Between sea salted breaths
Hints of starfruit and filth
Relish saintly dialects
Distant malaise clings to
Gritted teeth, unclenched
Your kaleidoscope soul
Vulnerable, drenched
Dripping liquified gold
Ornate in transcendental air
Upstaging whatever gods
May reside up there
Nov 2018 · 148
Sentenced
lX0st Nov 2018
You hid me like a secret
Eyes sheltered, wreaked havoc
Inward. I memorized
Marbled copper and silver
Bars, so small
I shrunk to fit
The space. Enough to
Slip through and
Escape. Layers clutched by
Sharp, chiseled rust
Unraveling, revealing
Silhouettes of dust
Nov 2018 · 445
The Chase
lX0st Nov 2018
I numbly leap then look
Bounding rooftops stories high
Blood’s quickening pace
A blazing fight behind my eyes,
Constant chatter beneath my skin
Begging me to survive;
I counter, disdain
And dive to swift demise
Nov 2018 · 527
Blair
lX0st Nov 2018
Sweet scent, my gravity
Carries me
Wandering
Through winding trees
Fallen leaves hiss at me
An omen, indistinct
Upon the clearing
My meadow stands empty, save for
A maple. Its sap,
Rust and wine,
A fountain of false prophets
From which I feast
Into scorched earth, I cough up teeth
Scarlet blood boiling
Back up at me
Nov 2018 · 351
Carolina Reaper
lX0st Nov 2018
In the night
I find myself
Insane, profane
Untame
As if bred
From flame
Nov 2018 · 119
Orange Peel
lX0st Nov 2018
Warm lips against cool glass
Subtle peach cheeks
Chestnut skin flushes
When you drink
Sly smile’s edges
Stretching toward
Molten amber eyes
Flashing that sparkle
That gets me
Every
Time
Oct 2018 · 773
Cherry
lX0st Oct 2018
Talk is cheap
But your lips were expensive
I might as well get
My money’s worth
Oct 2018 · 937
Mon Chéri
lX0st Oct 2018
Tell me I’m the moon,
Baby,
That I pull you in
That I’m only reflective
Of that shown upon me
That nothing warm
Will stay

Tell me, baby,
That you’re the stars
A vast, luminous galaxy
That your black satin backdrop
Won’t swallow me blind
And spit me out
Grey
lie to me
Oct 2018 · 840
Imbalance
lX0st Oct 2018
His transient touch
Taught me to love
Elusive hands embraced
Inverted beneath skin's layers,
A plastic pin point impression
That prickly sensation
Lasted for years
Hollowed hands turned every touch
Into white noise
Soft static buzzing eardrums
Burrowed deep beneath
Old memories, sneaking in
Through dopamine
Vibrating neurons numb
Until I can't sleep
Sep 2018 · 2.3k
Lucinda
lX0st Sep 2018
She breathes fire
That tastes of the cremation
Of her forefathers
Their ashes grit
In her eyes, spit
In her hands
She marches
Atop marshland
Swallowing graves
Of their mothers
And lovers
Her thick, leather skin
Wicked and weathered
Wields weapons
Of resurrection
With commanding force
She breathes life
Into desolate plains
She breathes fire
And they rise
Again
the warrior
Sep 2018 · 3.7k
Twilight Velvet
lX0st Sep 2018
You look so lovely
In blue
Arched back
Arms slack
Cerulean licks
Wrist to wrist
Shoulder dip
Eyes languid
Cloudy cyan
Gripping blankets
Robin’s silky velvet
Billowing, curling
Unfurling into
Midnight hues
Aug 2018 · 10.6k
Matisse
lX0st Aug 2018
Paint me a picture
Of your skin
Does it bronze beneath the sun?
Or sizzle and blush
Like your cheeks
When you’re in love?
Is it soft to the touch
Like when your palms graze
The smooth surface of water?
Or rough around the edges
Like your favorite book
And its lovingly worn corners?
Does it melt in the heat
Like sweet syrupy treats
Dripping through your fingers?
Or does it welcome the winter
With wide open arms
As if greeting a lover?
Paint me a picture
Of your skin
Aug 2018 · 1.2k
Passing Through
lX0st Aug 2018
Nightfall,
Morning breaks
Our hands fit
In the same place
On that one side of the bed
Where cool sheets unwrinkled
Leave a lingering presence
That smells of vanilla
And torment

Your twilight, my dawn
So alike, so far
We cling to our sheets
Awash in old memories
My cheeks toward the sun
Your moon shining on what used to be
What could never be
Aug 2018 · 378
Float
lX0st Aug 2018
Drenched in your kiss
Submerged in such bliss
Oh love,
Won’t you rain
Down on me?
Aug 2018 · 1.3k
Millennial Disease
lX0st Aug 2018
I wonder what it’s like
To never worry about
What I’m like
To feel free
To just be
I wonder what it’s like
I wonder
I wonder
Overthinking is a disease.
Aug 2018 · 392
Sweet Like Cinnamon
lX0st Aug 2018
Sweet, sweet boy
You must know love
To be so good
But goodness rests in your hands 
And its nemesis 
In your eyes
Pleading to me
To get down on my knees
And beg for your time
To kiss each finger
As it grazes mine
Trailing down my neck
Shivers down my spine
Pour your soul through my lips
Wring your saccharine 
From my hair
With your fist
Sweet, sweet boy
“..now my life is sweet like cinnamon..”
Aug 2018 · 306
I. Want. More.
lX0st Aug 2018
That's the thing about insatiability
It can't be compartmentalized
It doesn't have an appointment
Or even a purpose, really
It is a persistent, unwelcome fog
That creeps into your skull
Until it smooths over every surface
And dampens every thought beneath it
And though some days
The fog may dissipate
Nothing is ever good enough
Not for long, anyway
Aug 2018 · 481
Caution: Fragile
lX0st Aug 2018
With bare feet
I tiptoe
Across mattresses
Made of eggshells
Slowly, silently,
Each step careful
Not to wake
The part of me
That is desperate for you
But shouldn’t be
Jul 2018 · 521
Golden Hour
lX0st Jul 2018
Behind my eyelids
Dance glimmering gold and green
They twist and sway
Drifting along
Near and away, near and away
Arms entwined
Light as air, fluid as water
They stretch and twirl
Kissing the edges
Of my mind
No reason to tire
No concept of time
The music in their movement
Elusive, effervescent ecstasy
Oh, how I dream
Jul 2018 · 288
See What Sticks
lX0st Jul 2018
He saves all the grape jolly ranchers for me
He hates everything grape
But he’d swear he loves me
Until he’s purple in the face
And even on my worst days
When my skin is flushed
Rouge with rage
He reminds me that the color of love
Is always present on my tongue
And can be any shade
Jul 2018 · 193
I’m Fine
lX0st Jul 2018
Forgive me; the wine
It melts into my veins
Sends notes of cherries
And chagrin
To my fingers and toes
And don’t get me started
On this whirling head of mine
It seems to be drowning
In something red
Something sweet
But I swear I’m fine
I swear.
Jul 2018 · 851
Wander
lX0st Jul 2018
What ifs
Truths without proof
Lies without conviction
Seemingly sensical thoughts
Wandering down a senseless trail
Where does this road lead?
I wander. I wonder.
Jul 2018 · 353
Dissonance
lX0st Jul 2018
I know words
It's what I do
I can sing the alphabet backwards
And rearrange it into love songs
and hate poems

But you don't use words
You talk in unfamiliar wavelengths
That shake and stretch through me
Lifting me
Confusing me
Amazing me
Apr 2018 · 245
Tide
lX0st Apr 2018
Of sound mind
Of sound body
Of what sound do I hear
That draws me to this place
Apr 2018 · 337
Stale
lX0st Apr 2018
Every day
For the last three years
I wake up
And I hate myself

Maybe it’s been five years
Maybe eight
Surely I’ve lost count

Rare are the mornings
My aching muscles breathe a sigh
The sun drips through the window
Drenching me in warmth and life

Such euphoria is fleeting
It comes and goes
In two-week intervals
And I’m forced to watch it fly
To others’ faces
Where it rests much longer

There must be a balance
Dangling in the ether
Desperately waiting
To be discovered

But when dawn breaks
And my hand searches the sheets
It is hate that I find
Once more
I've been gone a while.
Mar 2017 · 697
Torment
lX0st Mar 2017
You wear your pain on your arm
Like a hideous scar
There's something about the way
It shines under the stars
Beckoning to me
To please grab hold
To tear open the skin
And leave it exposed
Oct 2016 · 633
Creo
lX0st Oct 2016
I believe in your heart
And the way it makes me feel
As if mine has grown.

I believe in your eyes
And the way they make me feel
As if I'm at home.
I'll always love you.
Jan 2016 · 834
Amen
lX0st Jan 2016
House made of walls that condescend
The word of the Lord no longer a trend
Hate floats through the halls
And it's all good and well
Until the foundation crumbles
And damns you to ****
Dec 2015 · 992
Rouge
lX0st Dec 2015
We waste expensive lipstick
On cigarette butts
That are thrown out the window
And somehow ignore
That we do the same
With our lovers
lX0st Dec 2015
It must not be healthy
To bear this on my own,
But I would much rather
Just suffer alone.
These knots in my stomach
And these thorns in my throat
Have made this little ****
Feel a lot like home.
Dec 2015 · 1.1k
Blood & Honey
lX0st Dec 2015
You poke and ****
Until you draw blood
& how much I'd bleed for you
I fear that you love

I wake up each morning
With more scars than the last
& with every new touch
I pray I bleed fast
"...We've got blood and honey
Getting high and getting some,
It's the only pain you know..."
Nov 2015 · 401
Closer
lX0st Nov 2015
Finding beauty in the transition
From fall to winter
Is like trying to find color
In the dead leaves on the ground
Hopeless.
Nov 2015 · 561
Thursday
lX0st Nov 2015
Foolish, are we, to believe
That even the brightest sun
Could possibly intimidate
The ubiquitous darkness
That clings to our hearts
Nov 2015 · 1.2k
Demons
lX0st Nov 2015
Darling,
I could say sorry
But what good would that do
For the pain in your body
And really, it's lovely
That you can still love me..
But please close your eyes,
My soul is so ****
Nov 2015 · 4.0k
The Creation
lX0st Nov 2015
I'm fully aware
Of the sadness in your kiss,
But the softness of your lips
Makes it easy to bear.

And yes, I am conscious
That your kind hands are calloused,
But I will always hold them,
I will always be there.
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