My thoughts screaming out loud...
**** me daddy...
I need it bad, I want it, I crave it like a sin waiting to be unfolded inbetween my thighs where wetness needs to be explored.
You seem like trouble, temptation that I can’t help but have no control over.
Teasing you senselessly and wondering why I seem to have such an effect on people.
My eroticism speaks millions of sensual nightmares waiting to be unraveled and seeked upon.
My curtains are shaking and trembling waiting for pleasure to be evoked.
I scream to loudly on the inside wanting to lock away this part of me.
My ****** and ****** nature got me in bad spaces in the past, locking and hiding away that part of me for so long , I forgot what it felt to squirt... to feel drenched in your sweat, to leak forbidden sins...
Calling me your ****, I love it when you provoke me, wrap me, and hold me.
It’s been a long time, I need a reminder of what it’s like to be bad again...
I’ve been good, keeping my habits controlled.
I want to feel you and ******* so bad it’s driving a drill through my chaotic sinful mind.
My words so raw and unfiltered, I need it bad...
Daddy, punish me for all that I have sinned...
Don’t forgive me, kiss me harder and penetrate deeper into my mind.
**** me with your words then show me what a bad baby I’ve been....
The devils ****** monster is lurking within, waiting for a sign....
Hungry and seductively parched.
Bring out my demon and allow her to drive you ****** insane...

my heart races
every time i
look at your face

god, how are you so perfect?

i wish i knew what to say
when i look at you
and see only perfection.
attractive.. handsome.. beautiful.. perfect..
none of those describe the way you captivate me
the way your dark eyes glitter, twinkle
"they sparkle!"
the way your nose curves so smoothly
your wide lips, so exquisitely shaped
the way your hair curls on its own
(why do you hate it?)
your soft, flawless skin

looking at you is irresistible.
how could you ever doubt yourself?

I’m screaming inside because I want him so ****** bad.
Anticipation and agitation.
But when I text him, nothing of that sort comes out.
Is this worth it?

I seem cold, distant, detached.
I always just say what I need to say, and then I cut it short and don’t end up talking to him.
But I’m actually dying to touch him and kiss him and love him and **** him and hold him and see him.

I miss him.
Maybe missing him too much and getting annoyed because I can’t see him.
I need it, I want him.

Maybe I’m just thinking too much about him, but I can’t help it.
Maybe I’m just feeling sensual and flirty and I wanna share that with him.
Only him.
No one else.

Yet, too **** scared to make any moves.
You told me you like me, but, I don’t wanna show you how badly I wanna ****** love you.
It’s too soon, is it possible to have feelings like this only after meeting someone so recent?

I’ve never felt this way about someone who I have never had *** with.
It’s my first time.
It’s so different from my connections in the past.
I want you.
Baby....

Building up thoughts, aching memories.
Overthinking, overanalyzing, creating thoughts that aren't real...
Or is it? Was it real? Are these feelings ******* like every mistake from the past?
Am I making the same mistake I always do?
All these questions? All these scenarios.
I'm setting myself up for disappointment again.

I write about my aching love, yet, I delete what I write like it never existed.
Merely because, my feelings don't seem to exist.

I can't say it was different with you...
You a man, and men all seem to have the same effect on me, toxic pain.

But to be honest, to pour out what I feel inside...
Something I never do in person, at least mental words exist.

Being in your arms felt like something I never felt before.
Your touch on me felt soft and delicate, like something deep inside of me was craving.
I'm not going to say you might be the one, and I'm not going to expect you to stay.
Truth of the matter, they all leave.

You however, felt different.
Like the escape and desire I was waiting for.
I am going way above my head, maybe thinking you not like the others.
But actions may end up shocking me.

Built up trust issues, I feel like you never want to see me again.
I feel like you're lying to me.
Anxious and overanalyzing...
Is it intuition, Or fear?

Fear of being vulnerable and never wanting to let anyone in.
But what I crave deep inside, is what I felt with you, and that is something I have never felt with any other man before.

It wasn't ******, Or ******.
It was sweet, and sensual, like being in your arms was something like a dream...
I didn't want to let go...
A feeling that I have been wanting for a very long time.
Something no one else could give me, or ever gave me.

It felt like I was drifting off completely.
Song lyrics starting playing in my mind.
My heart was beating in a way that made me feel warm.
But I have to accept that maybe it was all just an illusion.

That having any feelings at all for you is just a waste.
You gonna slip away.

Your eyes, oceanic blue and soft as the water.
But such a studios gaze lurking upon them.
I notice your ****** expressions...
Your eyes flicker like light bulbs.
Wandering everywhere, but so focused at the same time.

Here I go again, making another ****** mistake.
Toxic trauma waiting to happen.

1...
What a wonderful world it is,
coz when it's beautiful,
it has your legs on my shoulders.

#2...(Sacred acts):
The thickness of his blood all up in her waters.

#3...(Description of a 69):
As he burnt her midnight oils,
and she on the other hand,
gagging over his spilt milk.

The sharp claws you hide
beneath your tender fingers
do not frighten me

4:06 PM
26/10/20

We sit on your balcony
All I want is for you to undress me
You’re sitting in your favourite chair
I can’t help but stare

I rub your thigh
Look at you and smile
Lean in for a kiss
I want to taste your bliss

I get down on my knees
This act with you so heavenly
Undo your zip
I lick the tip

My lips now wrapped around you so devout
I feel you grow inside my mouth
I have your treasure
You moan with pleasure

My tongue moves up and down
My body tingles, I’m floating on a cloud
I gaze up into your eyes
As once again I take you inside

Kneeled before you I get carried away
You don’t mind, this is risqué
You reach down, gently tugging my hair
Moonlight above, I crave nothing more than to receive you anywhere