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I'm chemically unstable

There's no way
Now that we ever will be able

To be considered me
Truely alright, fine, good, normal


Medicine ungiven
Diagnosis wishing
Why others wouldn't listen?
Because they're talking flesh
Aaryn Nov 2018
it's destructive
it's painful
but slicing into my skin
every time I want to write a word down
is the best pain I have ever felt

Maybe this bleeding
isn't bad
and I'm getting rid
of all the pain

But then
I don't know when to stop
The song "Chlorine" by twenty øne piløts is all about how to write this way you have to be in a bad place and sometimes the addictiveness of the sorrow pulls you deeper and deeper and the writing isn't an escape but just another door back to our dark places... I see this in myself all too often...
In a minute,
I'm a *** smirk.
A shiny fang to show.
This pleasure, bundled
into nerves,
will decompose.

There isn't one chance.
Not one savior.
Evolution,
it still takes
its molasses-sweet-***-time.

I won't pray.
I won't wait.
As I am
& I shall be
the anti-divine.

I'm a literal *******.
I've long since comes to terms,
to terms with it.
I'm a depiction of the pits.
I've long since loved my worst,
my worst and best.

(...)

In a minute,
I'm a lost eye.
A stab wound, deep & old.
This sadness, bound
in my synapses,
wants me to know:

There is no escape.
No dissuasion.
Neurodivergence,
it wrestles
my ill logos for control.

I won't pray.
I won't pray.
As I am
& I shall be
funny chemicals.

I'm a literal *******.
I've long since comes to terms,
to terms with it.
I'm a depiction of the pits.
I've long since loved my worst,
my worst and best.
Sergio Esteban Oct 2018
Nothing matters to me
I might as well be
In a different galaxy
I’m disconnected from reality
I sleep my nights dreaming
I could be someone else
And lose sight of me

I hate my anatomy
Chemical bonds gone wrong
And I choose to dissect
Each and every one
I never lose focus when I criticize
My imperfections
I intend to improve myself
But that won’t change my perception

And there you go
I figure you’re prefect
In every sense of the word
Nothing can stop you
Not even the cosmos themselves

But you’re just like me
A flawed human
In this world full of impurities
We bend like metal
And sway
Wherever the wind takes us

That’s the price we pay
Each and every day
Our insecurities
Hide the best of us
But we wake up in the morning
And continue life

But one thing for sure
We’ll keep fighting  
Until we perish
Life can be beautiful
Never forget it
lX0st Oct 2018
His transient touch
Taught me to love
Elusive hands embraced
Inverted beneath skin's layers,
A plastic pin point impression
That prickly sensation
Lasted for years
Hollowed hands turned every touch
Into white noise
Soft static buzzing eardrums
Burrowed deep beneath
Old memories, sneaking in
Through dopamine
Vibrating neurons numb
Until I can't sleep
Brandon Conway Sep 2018

Floating brazier spews electric amber waves
as a setting sun radiates on the ceiling
a shadow of a ship coquettishly sways
while in the center charybdis begins swilling

another message, another missed call
another debt collector and his esurient talk
watch the ship begin to swirl, this scene so banal
amber feathered tawny eyed peacock

continues furtively to scroll her story and shoe shop
crowded room with a panel onstage
reality and fantasy evaporate and fall as a single raindrop
drown in the muck, don't know how to disengage

and to stay in the sway of fantasy.
Spent all day in a conference about chemicals. 10 hours. It was quite boring, but the setting was nice.
Brittany Hall Aug 2018
I gave you what you needed, but it wasn't what you wanted.
You gave me what I wanted, but it wasn't what I needed.
You took my heart, my time, my trust.
Only to find out,  all you had for me was ****.
I took your smile, your freedom, your pain.
Only to find out, that it was all just in vain.
Our souls intertwined and our bodies were confined.
Linked to one another, it's true that love is blind.
A chemical reaction, causing ripples out in space.
A cosmic implosion with but one thing out of place.
Giving each other glimpses of who we could be.
Showing each other things that no one else could see.
Banging  the drums, we didn't skip a beat.
Playing too quickly;  we couldn't take the heat.  
The sound was so sweet; you let me hear your voice.
Like waves crashing on the beach, I didn't have a choice.
Lulling me to sleep, with every single note.
Waking you up, each time I rocked the boat.
Before we knew it, we were beginning to sink.
Polluting the waters, without a chance to think.
With all of my strength, I brought you back to the shore.
Leaving me adrift, I won't see you anymore.
For my love.
Bryan Aug 2018
That simple shade
Became something else.
Chemical manipulation
Of myself.
The alternative style
Of the simple apparel.
To be displayed and destroyed,
Put through peril.
This one of a kind,
Unavailable in stores.
Resulted from a craft,
Through friendship,
And something more.
We bore the fumes
Unfaltered by the work.
Our heads were light, and we prevailed with a smirk.
The counter was stained,
And so were the shorts.
But they were better now, and have since been worn.
And worn.
And worn.
This work has an interesting story. My freshman year of college I had my roomate wash a pair of my grey, champion shorts. Unfortunately, my germaphobic friend added bleach to his clothes resulting in a dime-sized stain on my shorts. Instead of throwing them out, or dealing with a very noticeable mark, I decided to dab bleach all over them. My next door neighbor and I took turns making designs on them in the hall bathroom. The shorts turned out unique and fun, but we both had to get fresh air due to the lingering effects of bleach...
Brandon Conway Jul 2018
Start the happy synth
Cue the steady drum
Come in with the sly bass
Whistle the hipster hum
Move your feet to match pace
Dance with me now love

A chemical swirl got us moving
A chemical swirl will put us to sleep
But for now, while night is looming
Don’t stop moving those feet.
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