Once, he had the power,
Once, men had the power,
Over her,
Her heart,
Her feelings and thoughts.
But now,
She’s stronger,
Now, she’s wiser,
Now, she’s taking back the power.

I keep finding myself
in the same circle of regrets
stuck in a loop of what ifs
and if things were different
what would’ve happened
and if we were different people
what would’ve happened
and if I hadn’t left
what would’ve happened
and if you hadn’t stayed
what would’ve happened
and if we tried to skip the past, pain and hurt
would we have made it?

Poetry is my home
Poetry is where I belong
in words I live
in words I breathe
I run
I tremble
I fall
I sink in deep dark ink
I crawl
I hold onto words
I get up
and I start again
to live
to breathe
and break
through poetry.

You gave me something
so beautiful
You gave me myself
You made me learn to love myself
in a way
That no one could ever love it
in a way
It would never need others to love it
to feel loved.

“Here”, she said
“Take my heart”,
swallowing her pride.
“Take it, all of it.”
because it no longer belongs to its owner
someone else is paying the rent now
it became a motel for the lonely souls
a refuge
strangers come and go
stepping on it
as if it were a doormat.

Some people grow
and some don’t change.
Some people don’t stay
and some are stuck in one place.
Some people are repeatedly visiting the past
and some are impatiently waiting for the future.
Some people are living in the moment
and some are thinking about tomorrow.

Lost
in thin pages
Dazzled
by dancing letters
Tiptoeing
on the verge of my heart
Mischievously
missing with my heartbeats
Making me feel
all the feelings I keep hidden.

I’m getting there
Step by step
Breath after breath
I’m reaching there
To the place
Where i once was
Not a stranger to myself.

I saw you smiling
correction; laughing
I just hope she knows you’re lying
and your words mean nothing
but bottles filled with empty promises
I hope she finds out the truth
before it’s too late
I hope she saves herself from you.

I've spent my whole life wondering
what's love and
what's lust
what's true and
what's false
what's real and
what's not
what's right and
what's wrong
and why do we
want to be loved
by the only one
who does not...

You became
the reason
my smile fades
every time
You cross
my mind.

Every time I’m on my own,
Every time I’m left alone,
Fighting waves of memories,
They start to drown me,
As I fail to reach back to reality.

where do you escape
when you're trapped
when you're held captive
by your own thoughts
where do you hide
when you're exposed
and all your feelings
are on the floor
where do you run
when you're chased
by your worst nightmares

It felt good
Not to feel a thing
To feel nothing
For you
To feel like I never knew you
To feel like you’re just another
Passing stranger.

I just wanted to
spill all my secrets
to someone
I've kept them hidden
for so long
and I couldn't anymore
I wanted someone
who could carry half the weight
I've been carrying
in my fragile heart
that no longer can survive
instead
it feels as if
I'm carrying the weight
they're carrying
of my own heaviness.

You have to cut
a rotten love
from its roots
and leave no room
for it to grow again
and toxicate your heart
don’t let it bring death
upon your soul.

There’s a time for everything
and everyone that comes into your life
and when that time is over
you have to let go.
nothing is meant to stay longer
than it should
you’re not supposed to hold on tighter
than you need.

The screaming,
the shouts,
my heart’s bruising.
The sword-like words,
like a scolded little kid,
I run to the corner,
cover my ears,
pretend I don’t hear,
at the cats I stare,
“Can they feel my pain”, i wonder.

I don't believe in kindness anymore
I don't believe it can save the world.

Sometimes it's too quiet
I want to **** the silence
and sometimes it's too loud
I can't bear the noise.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you”



But you let yourself.

Take a shovel,
Burry your pain,
So deep,
It can never reach,
The top.

Cut its roots,
And don't dare to water it,
Or it will grow again,
And another garden of pain,
Will take place in your heart.

Forget where you buried it,
And don't ever visit its grave.

Heartless they said,
too cold to touch,
selfish,
you care about no one but yourself,

but they forgot what they did,
when I love I get hurt,
when I care I am used,
when I am there they're not,

that innocent fragile little girl,
that broke every now and then,
no longer lives here.

Burden burden
Don’t follow me
Everywhere I go.

O Burden burden
Let me be
Peace is all I’m asking for.

Burden burden
Can’t you see
I’m fading
Like a lifeless tree.

They'll come and go
you'll be hurt and you'll be okay
feelings will never stay
if you don't let them make a home of you
not the way you feel today
not the way you'll feel tomorrow
and certainly not the way you felt yesterday.

I carved your face into my memory
Your smile
Your eyes
Your laugh
Your dimples
All the things
That once made me smile
Now make me cry.

My father warned me of the monsters
that live out in the world
He called them strange looking strangers

but he didn’t warn me of the monsters
that live inside my head
He just brushed it off with:
“Sweetheart, that’s all in your head”

so I learned to fight them on my own
until I realized
there is no battle to be won.

I had every reason to stay,
and every reason to leave,
but I can never say,
it's easier this way.

I woke up with a dream I can’t shake,
I don’t understand why those dreams of you and me still appear,
We’re back together and never been happier,
But if that’s real,
If that’s true,
Then why was i miserable when I was with you?

when there's so much pain to bear
and you can barely walk
heaviness weighing down your heart

and then
you're so numb
you're so empty
you're so desperate
to feel
to fill
this hole

the hands that once suffocated you
look like help from heaven

and you'd hold them
you'd hang onto them

as if they were the last shred of hope
and you're so scared of letting go
frightened of not feeling anymore

you don't realize
you're only sinking
lower
and lower
while they feed on your hunger
they're rising
higher
and higher.

once
so colorful
now
so darkful
emptiness
everywhere I go
helpless
no one can help me
but myself.

I tried so hard
not to cry
but I only ended up
crying harder
I promised myself this time
I'll only channel anger
but that's not who I am
I'll always be
as soft
as a feather
light
but very strong
flexible
but very tough.

I dug up my grave
in your heart
the day i met you
for i knew
you’d be
the death of me.

For years,
Suicide was my one and only friend,
He’d call me out to play everyday,
with knives, razors and ropes,
He kisses my neck and says:
“Don’t be afraid, it’s just a game”,
and soon it shall be over,
all shall be gone,
pain, anger and frustration,
when I finally shut my eyes.

It’ll hurt less
The pain of your absence
Will no longer linger
In familiar places
One day
I will be free.

Loving you
is by far
the scariest thing
I’ve ever done.

Love me the old fashioned way,
        sneak a midnight kiss before you go away...

write me letters and
        I'll meet you half way...

we'll dance under the rain
        and forget about yesterday...

for all we have is forever
        and forever is today...

and all along
I thought the monsters lived in my head
I never saw
you were their king.

Our brokenness
Don’t make us any less
Humans.

She saw things,
She saw everything in details,
And details in everything,
And nothing in simplicity,
Which to some,
Seemed complicated,
But to her,
It was easier than breathing.

It’s one of those nights
When my mind is jumbling thoughts
I cannot shut my eyes
I cannot hold my thoughts captive
For i am their prisoner.

This whole time
I’ve been looking for my savior
I didn’t realize
She existed inside me
She was just too scared to come out
But now she’s unleashed
Lionhearted and undaunted.

Her mind is a wonderland of endless thoughts
Her worst enemies are not humans
Not any creatures
But they’re
Stress,
Anxiety,
Pressure,
Depression,
and Failure.

Our love was a
Deadly poisonous snake
That killed me gradually.

Mother,

Please forgive me
For the person that I have become
Is not someone to be proud of
But your absence
Is a kind of torture
That I never tasted
And I can’t swallow
It chews me alive
Everyday.

Darling,
please keep on shining,
no matter how dark it gets,
the world needs more light.

We were close
Not there yet
But close enough.

Fear wrapped me in its web,
Lonely and Vulnerable came into sight,
they whispered, giggled and walked side to side,

sweat crept on my forehead,
for soon I will become
the meal of a monster,

tangled, I lay
counting the seconds away,

whimpering, shivering, quivering

take my soul!, I pray to the Lord
but don't leave me here in the cold,

I open my eyes but I'm not sleeping
and that's how I know I'm not dreaming.

Laughter becomes unbearable
When you’re on the verge of shattering
Into fragments of loud unleashed cries.