I don't seem to fit in
"Be yourself" they said
So of course I rebelled.

I tried being the cool kid
Ahaha, what a laugh that was
Try being confident after years of being nervous?
Yeah, it was a bit of a wreck

I tried being silent
But I would always speak out of turn...
It takes great sadness to shut me up
It seems..

I tried being tough
Despite my height,
Nobody believes you if you ain't packing a six-pack

I tried to isolate myself
But my soul longed for company
So much that it began to even annoy me

So eventually I tried being myself
I have lots of "friends", people who only care about my losses but never share my wins.
Some close friends.... at times it feels as though they don't exist
It seems to me that being a "creep", "******" and "stalker"....
Well, they seem to be who I am.
Don't mind me sobbing in the corner

I'm just being myself

Being the bigger person
Is just a morally high ground
Based revenge
And one that does not seem at all..
Low

But I prefer my revenge to be as low
As the person that acted wrong to me
So that they know my pain
It's called an equal footing

I may not be positive,
But I'm not exactly negative

“So, you want me to sort your troubles,
All your small, pointless worries?
“I could, and I suppose I should,
But right now I’ve my own quarries”

“What about the rest of the world?
Ever think about them?
How about the starving children
To which the world has condemned?”

“How about the soldiers?
The ones fighting your wars?
The wounded, and the dying,
Knocking on Deaths door?

“Shall we speak about the homeless
And the lives they could’ve had?
With not even a place to sleep
Now that, my friend, is sad.

So the rest of the world has bigger problems
That could be fixed if we dare,
So the “problems” that you have
Is of a subject I do not care."

Thought you could come up in my grill and ignite me, start beef
Well imma cook you through and through until it ruins your week
Because you're a waste of space and meat to me, honestly
I'd rather pull my teeth out with pliers and then slit all my arteries

The ****t that spills out from your mouth, no doubt
That people would rather meet the Father than live in your drought
Not sure which is worse, your words or Beck's bottled beer
When it comes to drying out my love of good things its unclear

Just for the record that ****t is liquid Vegemite
And it'll blow your a$$hol3 open like a six pack of dynamite
I'll stick by the bottles of ***** and my shots of tequila
Then whatever the f**k you call those bars, like
Terminator over being weird!

A black hole,
Swallows whole
***** out and
Devours my soul

No idea how I'll get it back
The stress gives me a heart attack
I need it inside of me
Even though it's pitch black

Need a vacuum
To consume
The black hole
And the soul it stole.

I dont care what you say about
Men we're not ******
To stay silently violent,
Guns ready to fire

We aint gunslingers, walking all alone
We've minimal ammunition, we all wish we had more
A collectors store without boredom full of lead and war
A bitter path torn from the bitter hearts reward

The Devil walks on, in our soul the Lord's been gone
For at least two thousand years then a little sprinkle more
Didn't you hear? Crucifixion is addicting to the body
When by God's will he rose from where he lay rotting

See what i don't see is a solution for me
The evil in our hearts advance like Moses to the Red Sea
Its almost meant to be, that he's not for you or me,
Crazy it seems to be but crazy is what defines me

And refined finally, my thought process to polish
Perhaps you reject common facts by faith you'll abolish
The abomination that is by my nomination
The station, by which we pull the train that is a failing religion

If prayers did ****t for you, then that's cool, stay by God
And pray away the starvation, the slaving and the rot
But without action your thoughts and wishes are dead fishes to an aquarium
"Watch out kids, the smell is strong, just don't sniff it then"

God ****** by God's hand is his Children abandoned
You may live on with hope, but we're worse after moving on
In fact little has changed, our ways opinionated
But hey, that's my opinion and it'll get me killed if i say it!

So i guess i should claim this work as just a joke to rehearse
Coz if i don't then the Church will burn me at the stake like a demon I'm cursed
"Leave this blessed place, lest you stain the face of this Earth
With jokes and humour, you curse-hurdling mind-turtling ****"

Well that's okay, any place is better than Hell on Earth
Where pedophiles **** over little kids, yet I'm the joke and the curse
A lesson unlearned, as humans we burn
By the very nature of the forces that reproduced us like birth

A faulty experiment, that's what we are, just vermin
Little rats and mice, pests like head lice, ya guts churnin'
Feeling sick to the core, but you bought a survivors score
Tally up the years without chalk, just fingernails and whiteboards

Annoyed am I by the supposed gifts of God
If his gift is for us to **** ourselves then we surely bought
Into a failing cause, this opinion wont have sought
Anything but negativity where's the debate for which i fought?

So as you can tell, I'm the spitting image of Hell
Defined by my lack of presence at the toll of a bell
Sunday's are my lazy days, yet everyone else's to pray
I'd rather not trust into the tiger as prey

He'll eat you up, your money, your life and your family
Eyes closed and hands clasped with minds surrendering
I should be thankful this was hardly forced onto me
Otherwise I'd be just another religious zombie

My faith lies in evidence i can see feel and touch
So unless you have the man Himself i wouldn't dedicate to anything but lunch
Food is good for your body, another real thing to me
If i wanna cleanse my soul I'll do it with something that fully fulfills me

And its not bowing on my hands and knees
Just to please or displease an unseen deity
The variety of higher powers that can't be viewed
Is just the more clarity that the truth is skewed

I'm a man of psychology, technology and biologies
The chemistry that makes me be is a visual clarity
The evidence of God's work i cant see before me
So either I'm blind or wide-eyed and y'all are dreaming

But whats an opinion to you, when all y'all pursue
Is the chance to strike a match and dip into kerosene, no clue
What happened to our honesty, honestly its lost on me
A dishonest man is just a common story thief

They're everywhere, once more the rat
But y'all done goofed now because guess who's back?
That's right, the black cat, the night owl, not Shady
He maybe be a little crazy but he ain't me

So eat me or beat me, push away the locks' key
Turn it into wine and bread and then decide to feed three
Because that's the magic number and its bothering me
How death, d!cks and dishonesty are all around me

Hahahaha, the jokes on me
Naturally, there comes a fee

Today I looked into the mirror
Saw a little glimmer
Of hope
Even though
I know
Right now it looks like I have none

I just had five teeth pulled
Out of my skull
I know I look real ugly
But I'm looking at the future

I will need to wear braces
I get them in two weeks
But at least nobody can tease me
For being so **** fugly!

They can't taunt my teeth
Because I'm finally getting them fixed

Do you believe
You can transfer disease?
Without actually catching
Anything?

More mental than physical
Either way this is difficult
This pain, or lack of it,
Driving me hysterical

For example, a normal bullet
Hiding in a clip, store it,
Load it, chamber it,
Point and shoot it

You've got hollow points
Like the hollow pain in my joints
At the base of my neck,
In my head, no drug anoints.

Then you've got Full Metal Jacket
The shots causing such a racket
Disorientating pain, all over again,
Sticking to you like a magnet.

No matter what I do, it won't go
Hollow points in my chest, as time goes slow
I just wish my hidden gunman
Would take his bullets to a cliff and over they go.

A kindling
A fire
An inferno
A pyre
Smouldering away within

A bitterness
A taste
A poison
Called fate
Combined and I might just sin

A friend is someone
Who stays
By your side
Through thick and thin
The shoulder to cry on
And when bad deeds are done
Someone to whom you can confess your sin.
Always there for you
Always care about you
Even when times are tough
Someone who helps you through the rough.
The shoulder to cry on
The one who helps you drive on
Through the pain
Again and again.
And still remain standing
At the end of the day.

As a man where do I stand?
Helping everyone that I can
Though I'm off the edge and I'm still falling
Don't mind me everyone else is important

I'd like to say I still feel hope
Elevators are just a joke
That implies that my ride is smooth
If that's so then explain this bruise

And this cut, and this graze
Depression gives your mind quite the haze
You begin to see, and believe
Even though it's not reality

Smile on the outside but inside your dead
Your soul to the dogs has been fed
Can't find the effort to stay alive
Life's a game of run and hide

But do not jump, it's not fair
Can you feel your friends hearts tear?
How about your family? Your three little sisters?
How can you leave when they least expect it?

So climb back down and I'll catch you
Just say the word and I'm here for you
Doesn't matter where you are
Give me a call 'coz I ain't that far

I'm a poet, beatboxer,
Gamer, Expert procrastinator
Hated
Loved
But not loved by you apparently.

You
Who sits behind the screen like a little *****,
Makes your profile private
So I can't respond to things like
"Exactly what I'd expect a 16 year old little ***** to say"
You only make me mad by your nature
Probably a 50 year-old ******* and troll
Who gets off by taunting younger ones
Because he's too much of a **** to pick on someone
His own size and age,
Having no friends or relatives that love him
Nobody that respects the ******* he is
Probably does drugs
Dropped out of school the year he learnt the word "****"
Didn't follow much of a lifestyle
Blew kids off for twenty bucks
I mean, money is money
Shares his mothers basement with twelve cousins,
Male and female,
That he ***** on the daily
The only action he really gets
And when they aren't there
Climbs out of his trollhole
To **** with the wrong people

They call me Phoenix
Because I roast beats
And pedophiles
Like yourselves

You got a reaction
Question is,
Was it what you expected?

Slowly rotting away,
Piece by piece
Bones left to be picked at,
Festering meat; a scavengers feast

Go ahead and eat me
See if I give a f*
At this point in time
Killing me would be my best luck

Infected by my hatred
Yet you're the one who gave it
Now you come back to take it
I was a carrier but now it's faded

Now I have no drive
What's life if you don't feel alive?
What can be done
To bring back all the fun?

A sad sky and dark eyes
Tears fall, the world cries inside
It cries, as do I
At all the pain I left behind

Dead yet I'm still breathing
Dead yet my heart's beating
If you cut me I'd still be bleeding
A demon awakes and it is feeding

I've got nothing left to lose
Except, perhaps, just you
This emptiness runs right through
Makes me not know what to do

So I was a carrier of hatred
Now I'm a carrier of nothing
This body was so tainted
With the thought of somebody

I remember a time when I felt happy
Waking up everyday was a new adventure
Some people would say things behind my back,
But I didn't care

I just carried on

I would stroll leisurely into the classroom,
Take off my shoes at the door because I picked at them
Sit down at my desk, right at the front because I couldn't focus sitting next to anyone

And just carried on

I would pick my spiky, plastic ball off of the desk I sat at,
Constantly fidget with it, resist the urge to place it in my mouth
And bite off the spikes, feel satisfaction. Sometimes I could resist.
Other times I couldn't, but I didn't care

I just carried on

That was back when I was in Year Four, in a class filled with students
Who, despite not knowing the word ***** would be one anyways
Only admiring me for my intellect, like when I suggested the word Bioluminescence as a favourite word and the teacher thought it wasn't even a word, because surely I was too young to know it?

Somehow, I carried on

Now, looking back on those days I ask myself,
When did my strength fade? The world become grey?
How can someone so innocent, so lonely, so... weak,
Be so strong and resistant?

How did I be me, and manage to carry on?

When nowadays I am constantly suppressed by society,
I can't be me without being called a ******, a loser,
Loner and so ****** up that surely I'm a stoner?

Doesn't matter that I hate drugs, my "friends" do drugs,
Smoke **** and make fun of me because I don't,
That God forbid I'm clean, don't **** with that ****,
Never will and never have, but this means that they can be mean?

How have I carried on, for so long, falling prey to those call me friend
And fade away faster than the light of day whilst vaping it up,
Faded as ****,
When all along I believed I wasn't strong?

I look at them and see no hope, no future
Not for me in that direction, at least
And I've told them time and again
That it's so ******* wrong, that there will come a time when hitting up the **** won't carry you further along anymore

There will be a time when they will fail to carry on

Maybe I still got some of me left in me
There's more on the inside than what the eye can see
Believe in myself, listen to no-one else and honestly?

I truly believe I still have the strength to carry on

I leaned against the bench
Just praying for my end
A memory slipped in unnoticed
And then I came to my senses

He wants me to be like this
He wants me to question life
What's a life worth living
If you just want to die

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
But if there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
But if there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

Just when I'm back on track
He reappears again
Disguised himself as past events
Pretending to be my friend

I started having thoughts of death
How far could I go?
Before I lost all reason to live
I guess we'll never know!

Not sure where I'm going
And I don't care where I've been
If there's one thing that I know for sure
This pain never ends

I tried to call out to you
And you turned away
A world once filled with vivid colours
Became a misty grey

The Sun rose like another moon
Pale and fake
Another reason to add to my list
Of the scars I bear today

Not sure where I'm going
Don't care where I've been...

I don't give a **** where I'm going
Don't give a **** where I've been
One thing that I know for sure
This pain doesn't end

One thing that I know for sure
This pain never ends
I tried to be happy once and all I know is
It never happened again!

One thing that I know for sure
I've tried my very best
But it's hard to leave this world behind
Because I'd never know what I missed...

So I'll stay...

I spent a long time
Looking over my shoulder
To see if I would be crushed
By the world's largest boulder

I spent a long time hiding
From what will always find you
Trying to block it all out
Trying to evade the truth

I am weary of always having to
Check my back
To make sure I'm not ambushed,
That I don't fall into a trap

A trap of re-enacting
The mistakes of my past
Because if I bring them back again
I'm sure to breathe my last.

I'm tired of being paranoid,
I could no longer care less if I fell into the void
As long as I don't drag anyone else down
I'm quite willing to drown.

So long as those I love,
Stay alive
And forget who I was
So they can't be tempted
To make the same dive.

I will die for my friends,
**** for them too
They may not want to see me go
But what are they going to do?

I cannot stand back at all
And watch them suffer from cruelty
I know what I am doing is right
Releasing said angel within me

I hate being so wary
Of the world that I am in
I hate the faces of the sinners
Their devilish little grin

So check my back, will you?
For I care not enough to turn
I may smell nothing but smoke
But I no longer care, the world can burn

Anyone else hear the sum of their life
Not in the ringing of chimes
But the hum before they fade away?

As a fan of new beginnings,
I would like an end
To this existence made of dolls
All "perfect" and pretend

As fragile as the china that is the fabric
Woven into their souls
But not over the pit of hatred within
That emits through the holes

Pulsating wavelengths of bitter hatred
Black, odious and vile
An energy, the negative charge
That turns down many a smile

The friction within the air
That could tear it apart so easily
But is resisted by social norms...
"Perfection", all pretend..

So pick me up and let me fall
So I may shatter myself into pieces
That may reform into something better
Hiding away in niches...

*Afraid of confrontation and inspection, too strong....

I'm like a teachers pet except what I  learn I regret
Eager to be the best but stressed when it comes to the test
I'd rather lay down mindful practicing in my head
Then to lay down mindless depressed as s__t in my bed

I could fly like the Phoenix I'm supposed to be,
At cloud height, Cloud Nine, see everything
Were it not for the ropes that hold me down
Were it not for the bloodlust, torturous sounds
Were it not for the voices in my head
That sometimes make me wish I were dead

And maybe if I wasn't so critical
Or perhaps just a little less hypocritical
Were it not for the need to be OCPD
Straighten everything, as straight as can be

Checking my back because I'm paranoid,
That someone will appear, push me in the void
And I would swirl and spin, forever trapped
With all lights off, and no time to clap

That I would be that man, the one in black
Who would self-indulge in a self-aimed attack
Who would one day slit an artery, and just lay there
And with open eyes, unseeing, continue to stare

Glaring at the world that held him down
Glaring at the grey sky that never helped him out
Angry in death at those who tormented him, bullies
Maybe I could fly were it not for these,

Things

I am the man I am today,
From all the experience I've gained
The lies I made, the cards I played
Watch it all burn around an Ace of Spades

And as I fumble with the match,
My life like flashbacks flashes past
The days I cried, the days I died
Clawing, tearing my insides

I, know that I can't run and hide,
Knowing that, even if i tried
Nothing will be better when I take a peek
Because it's all uncertain, and all left to me

And I, am not satisfied
With the anger we feel and the rage we defy
Why, is it so hard to see
That we're caught in a landslide, an avalanche of debris

Some days, I lay on the ground
And stretch my hands up without making a sound
Reach for the sky, but there's no prize
All hope is lost and I've lost all my pride

Insane, is the only way
That normality fades, and only you change
You've got more control, as we rise and we fall
Being crazy is the only way to stay sane...

I, know that I can't run and hide,
Knowing that, even if i tried
Nothing will be better when I take a peek
Because it's all uncertain, and all left to me

And I, am not satisfied
With the anger we feel and the rage we defy
Why, is it so hard to see
That we're caught in a landslide, an avalanche of debris

If you're a drug
Then I'm addicted
So easily
Affected
This **** just makes me brain-dead
Pleasantly ******* with my head

I may not snort you
Up my nose
But God knows I know you
With both eyes closed

You many not make
My nostrils bleed
But my heart knows
It's you I need

You're my dose of *******
Constantly affects my brain
I may seem calm but you drive me insane
You are the sun in the midst of rain

I may seem crazy
You made me crazy
Bring me into focus
When the world gets hazy
Wake me up when I'm feeling lazy
Like a zombie, ******* Day-Z!

Getting hyper, filled with energy
Your very presence, methamphetamine
You are a drug straight to my brain
Wanting another dose of your *******

Demons and angels,
Fight for what is right
You may say that one is wrong
But the lights do shine so bright

If a demon is of darkness,
And an angel to it's opposite
Then who is really incorrect
When it gets down to it?

Both sides fight for what they believe in
Stereotypes don't dictate correctness
I could be a demon
And you may agree with my arguments

It's all just opinion,
And a strong sense of belief
To the point it overwhelms you
And become afraid of deceit

*Just two sides of the same coin....

As I reminisce over you
I lick my dry and cracked lips
Your poison, so sweet
Sharp and pointed fingertips

Mixed and lonely
I'm caged by my own thoughts
Your scars, so perfect
Struggling I've fought

Love is just a masquerade for pain
My beauty hides a beast that has yet to be tamed
But I want you, need you, I'm so lonely
And my desires remain unnamed

My scars are raised in purple
Because I loved the pain
Ever since I met you
It hasn't been the same

Kiss the desolation,
Remove the isolation
Cleanse me of my sins
To yours, let me in

From prison to prison
Though yours seems like heaven
Take me, all of me
Better trapped then dead
Better trapped then dead
Better trapped then dead

"I care for you!"
******* prove it.

There's never any greetings, only goodbyes
Never true happiness, only darkest nights
Whenever you fall quiet I'm the first to ask what's wrong
But when it comes to me, the silence stays strong!

Who is there for me? Do I really mean so little?
I go mad screaming at mirrors, slathered in my spittle!
I act out what I want to say, because of all the times
You told me, to tell myself I'm worth more than I realise!

Something of value isn't easily discarded
Something that matters isn't so quickly parted
I trusted in your words, they were my final hope
Now it's time for the hangman's trick to go and get the rope

Hidden agenda:
Thank you for following me .
My pseudonym is Li.
Feel free to message me anytime,
To refuse you would be a crime.
I am pretty much someone who is miserable.

Conor Blatchford:
What causes you
Your misery?
Is there anyway
You can be set free?

Hidden agenda:
Me just being me.
Only way i can be set free,
Is I am no longer who I was.

Conor Blatchford:
Talking to you like this
Amuses me so
I do believe
Our poetic answers will grow
Into a masterpiece
Of our talent
Speaking like so
A perfect balance

Hidden agenda:
A perfect balance?
Nothing is ever perfect.
A girl with many talents,
Constantly told she's a defect.

How can there ever be a balance?
When cowardism is valiance.
Heroes and honesty is incorrect.
When a socialite fails to connect.

Conor Blatchford:
You say nothing is ever perfect?
Our words in poems are
What they are about
Isn't perfect,
Not by far.

In chaos is balance
For balance rules all
Don't ever assume
That with imbalance you will fall

Hidden agenda:
Word in poems are relative.
The raven to an optimist,
Is more positive than negative.
The Telstra to an Optus.

The large and rich win,
The good are faces of sin.
The night lay await for stars,
While the stars spend on cars.

Speak of balance,
I'll show the negative outweighing,
Speak of union,
I'll show you utter absence.

Conor Blatchford:
We all sin for the good,
Or commit kindness out of devilish needs
So unobvious are we
When the Good do Devils Deeds

I do not find you a defect
For defection is an illusion
Of something far greater
Than a misplaced man's intrusion

You do not need to leave me
For i understand such pain
Humanity is give-and-take
One's loss, anothers gain

Hidden agenda:
Do what you must to succeed.
While you celebrate another bleed.
This is what Earth has become?
Soon enough trumpets and drum,
Will reign chaos and madness,
For how do we explain sadness?

Conor Blatchford:
Sadness is our deepest emotion
For this one, no cure, no potion
Yet it is natural, let it consume
And in your quiet darkness bloom
So when sadness finally does fade,
You'll be beautiful, many colours and shades

Hidden agenda:
Despair and sadness is our deepest emotion,
I agree with you but I despise the notion.
Let it eat you up, the monster will.
So consume past your fill,
Because behind sadness is a mask.
For some its an alcohol flask.

Conor Blatchford:
We are all monsters,
Are we not?
A bullet loaded
Into it's slot
The spin of the barrel,
The click of a trigger
Suicide or each other :
Which is quicker?
Sadness and Depression rule
The sickening truth; may cause one to fall
To the Demon that we have inside,
The inner killer we try to hide
It's a truth we can't deny
This sickness that we try to hide

And why?
Embrace who you are
For we are all all opposites
Of what we were supposed to be: a perfect angel, we failed it

So lay down the revolver
Give up on our affliction
Our sadness, jealousy,
Unneeded addiction

Hidden agenda:
At best all we can do is share the pain,
Celebrate our life and our death,
In a game of russian roulette.
Leave our minds to a permanent stain,
Which will result to our last breath.
Hands to fate and chance in set.

Are we all gentle giant,
Who stomp and destroy,
Over anyone defiant.
Or is there a different ploy?
After all we can't all be wearing disguise,
Some of us must go beyond and just rise.
To dream, to love, to see.
To feel and to cry with glee.

What I wanted to say: Alas, I agree with thee.

What if when the Universe was created
A part of our soul was attached to another, thus fated

To find each other at a later date,
After the Big Bang we seek our soulmate

The demonic doubts demand demolition as
Corruption cries to conscious construction
Like a magician with tricks up his sleeves
The Art of Illusion, to trick and deceive

When it comes to masks the masquerade wont last
The cracks of time pushing future, past
And presently resembling the arch-nemesis assembly
The crafting of crows to call back serenity

With harshened voices, hoarse from hearing
With blacked out eyes and sores still bleeding
The information stream no longer receiving
Dull and numb they succumb unfeeling

Death, destruction and ****** demise
Shuffling heads down and lowered eyes
To touch the spawn is to provoke what lies
Further than six feet under buried heights

To fall so soon is to embrace your doom
We all have clocks that cluck their tunes
A cuckoo clock that counts down too
Moments from eternal midnight you bloom

A lunar flower, lunaticus spores
You feel the rush from opened pores
The fear irrational yet perpetuates your heartbeat
The hands line up and the springs they squeak

Laying down and without a sound
The judgement of time, a crown renouned
A wooden box to return to Earth
What Earth condemned to live and learn

Everything just passes me by
People, hope and opportunity, no matter how I try
The focus of my life is not to focus on the past
And it all goes by so fast

I'm stuck here in my room, on my bed
Reminiscing over things, trapped inside my head
Like this is where I'm at now, no doubt
I've got so much more to do

Way too much to lose, way too young to cruise
Should be getting out more often but I don't wanna bruise
The backlash of my actions, intended or not
Is not something that I've forgot

Not something I can forget
Because I'm not done just yet
I got things to do, much to lose
Now is not the time for me to cruise

Walking down
This empty street
Crushing leaves
Like memories
Unwanted, unneeded,
Relentless and unheeded
As I decide
My worst memories must hide
Or stay and die,
Sneering, snarling, wishing to defy
The Law of the Master
Wishing to prevent disaster

So slowly does the guilty walk
When memories, like predators, stalk
Lurking in dark alleyways
Of the moonlit city of brainwaves

Crushing leaves
Like memories
Unwanted, unneeded,
Relentlessly unheeded

Care to share,
Dare to bear
The weight of this world
That isn't there?

So i stand in front of a boy i never gave up on
Til now, you're taking my strength when i need to stay strong
It's like watching a creation from a test tube; experiment
Only less of a man and more of a little princess!

I took punches to the face for you, prove my f!@#$%ng loyalty!
You just stood there, proof that in return you'd do f@#k all for me!
It's like when I needed you most you was standing, walking dead
Hopeless and far from helpful in your own battles, yet again!

For months I've tried dragging a dead weight out from his own grave
That with his own hands and borrowed strength he decided once he'd made
Yet how can you pull something that refuses to move
It's not that he's stuck for f@#k sake, he just doesn't want to!

Doesn't have a job, doesn't go to school
Instead lives in a van in his backyard and refuses to move
Or do anything as a matter of fact, just cry over his last love
You've all the time and i think I've heard enough!

Of hearing how she's your everything, wake up dude you're fifteen
I get you get feelings to but you're sounding like a ***** love machine!
All i hear nowadays is how you're so f@#$ing depressed
Suicidal like it's vital to take anger out on your own chest!

You could have been the best, beaten every test
You have a brain for Christ's sake, stop talking about Death
Like he's your best friend, that was me but now i gotta let go
Of someone i held out for, who cries for help but only cries for soap

Make a reality show out of it, a helpless little man
I had such hope where did it go i just don't f@#$ing UNDERSTAND!!

A two word couple rarely used
In genuine terms, at least
But all too often, more than abused
Never in response to treat

And apologies are just the same
Said so carelessly, so carefree
Follows suit after a name
But meaningless, sadly

What are words without their meaning?
When used out of context
It meant something at the beginning
But the question is what’s next?

Will opinions come to have no value?
How about symbols, or hand signals?
As I said, use and abuse
So used the tongue does tingle

Compare that to human life
What makes us so unique?
We all have opinions and advice
And without being asked, openly critique

We push others down so we can get up
Why don’t we just learn to swim?
So we can go for long enough
Without bending someone to our whim

A life forced to enforce our own
Power corrupts, and corrupts absolutely
And these maddened actions we must condone
And do so resolutely.

Why do we keep ruining lives?
Not just others, but also our own
We punish either with words like knives
And suffer all alone

I preferred to shut my mouth
And say what doesn’t need saying
Everything would be what I’d talk about
But my emotions just kept on praying

Hiding behind a veil
That was a master façade
My smile hid all detail
So to myself I said “Au Revoir”

But they could not hide forever
My darkness lifted a little
So I tried piecing myself together
Labelled “Handle with Caution, for I am Brittle.”

But despite how hard I tried
I failed to be whole
My best interests were defied
And darkness enveloped my soul

What I once hid behind
Was now a part of me
When I realised, I died inside
And self-consciously admit defeat

My hands guided by hatred
For the weakness that was within
Energy so sapped I became faded
And my Nightmares would soon begin

For a year I found it hard to sleep
As I watched my friends be Butchered
With woe and sorrow I began to weep
In helplessness I was snookered

My friend had an idea for me
One I never dreamt
To try and incite a lucid dream
And to have my promise be kept

That I would protect my friends
No matter what the cost
A brave mental battle, with no happier end
And once done, I knew all was not lost

But inside my mind I found my meaning
Even through my lack of dreaming
That life is best had when not sleeping
And reminiscing memories of bleeding

Life is an experience
That defines who you are
Fill it with extravagance
And man will you go far