People are about appearances
Judging books by covers
Never looking for what is on the inside
It isn't anyone's fault
It's society's
Images the media tragically forces on us
We will fall apart and once the underneath is revealed
We'll realize looks are usually deceiving
Next time love their soul, because that's what truly matters.

Two kids blinded by love
Wracked with anxiety and fear
Finding comfort in kisses and understanding
Loving each other until free teardrops cleared

Stumbling through life in a fog
Hoping to make sense out of it
Alive with new wonder, bravery
Lightweight, carefree, taking hit after hit

Simple and easy was our world
Crave those first months spent with you
I am shaking off these memories
Hands cut from mistakes I tried to undo

Find myself visiting the past often
I belong in the present
Legs too heavy to lift at all
This burden of pain greatest yet

With you by my side I was courageous
Believed I could trust you to guide
Guard my heart, keep it safe
Not crush with secrets then hide

I loved you despite obvious flaws
Because you were not like all the rest
Vulnerable enough to show emotion
Humour that coaxed laughter out of my chest

Didn't care that you never took life seriously
That you wasted our money
Overlooked countless self-centered mistakes
For one stroke, the sky again seemed sunny

Understood why your words were riddled with lies
You were lost but not to blame
Your role models taught you to keep issues hidden
As you grew older you did the same

Wanted you to confide in me
Treat me in the manner I treated you
I told you every detail of my world
You didn't desire to share with me too

You really were my best friend, it is true
You claimed that I was yours
I have trouble believing that fact
Kept shutting me out, locking doors

Acted like I was dumb enough
To buy the ******* you'd sell
In reality caved because you never would
Gave in so we wouldn't fight and yell

Aside from manipulative games and lies
(Plus an awful addiction of course)
You were perfection, warming at night
Creating bliss, you were the only source

Never thought I would leave you alone
Did not think I could handle the misery
I also was sure you'd never take it that far
You did, and I finally broke completely

Had no choice but bid you farewell
Down to my last resort
Could not comprehend how you could love someone
Play with their heart, take and distort

Guess you were too ****** up from the start
I was too blinded by love to see
Because feelings were pure and real
Even if they were the single true thing

I will always remember us with fondness
Overflowing love, couldn't have been richer
Little moments stick out to me the most
Still smile when I come across your picture

Two kids grinning, madly in love
Happily clinging to each other's hips
Not sure if I will ever feel that way again
Nothing compares to magic of your lips

Should have known it would not last
You were too amazing to be true
We were young foolish kids who didn't know better
Had nothing but our hearts to lose

I hear your voice next to me
But I feel distance in my heart
There is a ten-mile wall between us
Though we are only inches apart

You are always just beyond my reach
Not quite close enough for hands to touch
You are hardly two steps away from me
One is already too much

Became a different person
Transformed before my eyes
How could you have possibly changed
Into someone I do not recognize?

We grew into complete strangers
I watched our friendship collapse
When the foundation crumbled
It uncovered your hidden traps

All the betrayal I was once blind to
Suddenly made perfect ******* sense
Where it had been filled with lies
Stood a gigantic hole in your defense

You kept mistakes hidden
Couldn't bear to let the world see
So you put up a facade in form of a mask
Concealed the real you from all (including me)

I am broken but no longer sad
I only want what I lack
I will not sleep until I'm whole again
And love I had comes back

I am not the same pathetic girl
You used to console when blue
I found a friend in sweet silence
Solitude more enjoyable company than you

I am counting every breezy day
Waiting to feel the smile of May
I watch and enjoy seasons fight
For dominance night after long night

Heavy lies the weight of Spring
While Summer is harnessing
Warmth to pull us out of suspense
Away from the sun's negligence

Shadows mill uneasily about
Leaving traces of shade and chill throughout
Foiling Spring's clever plan
Disappointing woman and man

The shift in weather nearly complete
Children soon will run with bare feet
Snow is melting, no longer white
Summer is just within my sight.

I know that it is impossible
For you to truly care
As much as you insist you do
The way you would not dare

It's too much to lie for
So do not even try
Can we prolong the moment
Until we say goodbye?

The broken pieces of my heart
Will end up one instead of two
Memories of a time will stay
When joy that filled my life was you

There are reminders in the shadowy halls
Around each dark cold bend
Maybe this summer after all
Doesn't have to end

Will I ever figure out
Those things we talked about?
Floating around my head
Memories echoing words said.

Now I'm hoping this won't go wrong
You won't end up saying "so long"
If I knew how this will turn out
I could shake every bit of my doubt.

I'm wishing that you won't take the first train
Leave me standing alone in the rain
Better believe I'll be waiting all day
For you to return and take me away

Ghosts in my heart won't leave
Play with feelings then hide
Drive me crazy with unseen tricks
Patience a trait hard to find

Sanity dwindling swiftly down
Falling into an abyss of madness
A vision created with perfection in mind
Deciphered into instructions for false happiness

Remain alive, blueprints collapsing
Dark shadows in my peripheral appear
Asphalt scented with burning regret
Heated by sun, cooled by tears

Left foot in the entryway
Other on the shaking ground
Walk through the threshold
Eyes closed, waiting to be found

As if I am an item worth searching for
Know there's no one looking for me
Pain, sadness, damaged self-esteem
All anyone ever sees

It is 1AM and I'm falling apart
Sheets really constrict and choke
A night lasts an eternity
Swimming in regret and soaked

I am waiting for this daydream
To fizzle out, die
For him to finally prove
This relationship is just a lie.

That everyone else's words are right
This ice is too thin
I must be crazy if I trust
And waste time with him.

I will only end up getting hurt
I know what's at stake
I'm telling you from the start
It is a chance I'm willing to take.

I might be a fool but I am
Ready for what turmoil may come
I am steeling my heart for the moment
When everything good comes undone.

I do not need your "wisdom"
Your bias and bitter advice
If he breaks me to pieces
You are not the ones who'll pay the price.

You do not understand my world
And to you I will not explain
I'm going to leave it at this
My happiness is worth the risk of pain.

Some days were easy and others were hard
But I have always been by your side
We have shared all of our highs and lows
Witnessed countless tears you've cried

Who we are is not who we once were
I don't care, I'm still right here
If you choose not to be friends
Know I'll hold the memories dear

Parts of what we used to have
Are within the reach of our hands
Take a moment and look back
Remember us as kids, headstands

We were meant to stay together forever
If you feel like we should part
Do not hesitate to come back home
You always have a place in my heart

Let go of the problem weighing your soul down
Lay your head on your pillow; rest
Listen to insightful words
Let my advice help you do what's best.

Slowly moving between dark realms
Tingling with faint apprehension
Entranced, stumbling in a clouded stupor
Ravenous greed beyond my comprehension.

What will it take to open your eyes?
Days are fading fast
Insecure about how many tomorrows you have
Or rather, how many you lack.

We have little time on Earth
I am screaming but you won't wake up
Hearing same opinions repeated
Broken spirit remains stuck.

Center of your universe
Drugs have your mind caged
I cannot tell which parts are real
Which are perfectly staged.

Your forgery is well-crafted now
The world is starting to see
The way you live not good or right
To speak then act differently.

Could I aid your hand somehow?
Each attempt met with resistance
Say the same phrases each time
From each other grow distant.

Honestly it has been over for awhile
I have given our love my all
Though I wish we could be together
It hurts too bad to sit back and watch you fall.

We say things we do not mean when we fight
This is not anything new
What concerns me is the painful fact
Some of those words are true

Quiet between us is louder than words
Silence speaks volumes, I don't need to use my voice
I hear your hurt in what is left unsaid
Emptiness evident, pain because of my choice.

Shame invading both our bodies
Deceit emanating off skin like steam
Guilt rising up in my esophagus
Close your eyes a minute and dream.

You are not alone, just look around
Arms open wide many places for support
If you decide to wake the **** up
Stop living to lie, steal, and extort.

All those unpaid debts you owe
The hopes already paid
You feel down right now I am sure
Held back by past mistakes made.

The photographs we snapped were colorful
To my eyes don't look as bright
Dark restless mental corridors
Pick my battles but don't fight.

To relieve burden of cowardice
Remove weights hanging from my heart
Plucking slowly like plums
Growing back faster than I tear apart.

Want to be superhuman
Heroes seldom make mistakes
Tired of being cast as the villain
You are the one who constantly takes.

It is impossible to work this out
The aftermath is too messed up
Revelation stings, salt in my wounds
There exists no future "us."

Everything I see is different now
Our cherished relation-ship has sailed
You are trying to swim after me
Can't see you've already failed.

Hearts in different hemispheres
Minds pulled to opposite poles
Although you are only a short drive away
There is a sea of silence separating our souls.

Every day is a
Battle to keep taking steps
Forward and not back

In the end it does not matter
Everyone leaves, despite promises once spoken
Time has cruel sense of humor
Makes the strongest heart broken.

The easiest thing you can do to guard
Heart is give up on "forever"
Accept whoever your soul embraces
That tie will eventually fray and sever.

Seeking happiness in the wrong places
Then wonder why I am not
Blame fate for most my problems
When I am chasing my tail in the same spot

Sit and watch the world spin circles
Wait for opportunities to drop into my lap
Neglect health in the process
Realize I'm about to snap

Ready to give up this quest
Staring at a looming distant goal
Contemplating if I am the only one
Emptied of happiness, a hollow soul

I am finding it hard to believe you
Second-guessing every word you swear is true
Won't withstand deceit anymore
Many times I let lies slide through

I set the bar too low
You didn't bother aiming high
If I mattered like you claim I did
You would do a lot more than just try

All you will ever
Be to me is someone I
Don't know anymore

I am so tired of the struggle
Existing every torturous minute on Earth
Want to feel good when I wake up
Look at myself, know my worth.

I want my insecurities to disappear
With me all hours of the day
Tried to abandon them with no luck
Stubborn ******* are determined to stay.

Distort my vision often
Sing fears, remind of the nothing I've become
Watching with glee as I sit in this prison
Search for something to make sadness numb.

A substance to silence my sorrows
Found conflict instead of the comfort I crave
I want tomorrow to carry less dread
Forecast is hot weather, not enough shade.

The Earth keeps on surprising me
How I wish the pain would stop
I miss the days when monsters weren't real
Now my shoulders they sit atop.

The world shakes unstable feet
Each time recovery takes longer
I am beginning to understand defeat
I think about past tears, I get stronger.

Like sun beaming after a rainstorm
I will blaze more brilliantly than before
Confidence shining through open pores in skin
Self_acceptance and forgiveness lighting my core.

I need to change my attitude
Drop bad habits weighing me down
Like leaves shed by Autumn trees
Free myself, let them cascade to the ground.

Mood flips rather quickly
I want control over emotions I feel
I may be happy for a moment but it never lasts
I savor those seconds my smile is real.

Goodbye doesn't have to be permanent
It can be good for two hearts to temporarily sever
But I also know from experience
Sometimes goodbye is forever

I am sitting here alone tonight
Still thinking about you
Laying wide awake wondering
If you miss my voice too

I am worrying about this life
The future, what it will bring
If there is a maybe or a chance
To grow and become something

There is not a thing that I love more
Than talking to you through the night
With every word you say
It feels more right

Sometimes I'm scared I will lose you
And end up all alone
Then I start to realize
I cannot lose what I don't own

Trying to get over you but I cannot
It does not matter what I do
Walk roads in every direction
All of them lead back to you

I fill empty pages with words
It has been months since I've written about
Anything besides feelings we once shared
Greif consumes me from the inside out

It's not what I want, it's right
Did not choose to feel this way
It's hard to lose the person who
For a year talked to every day

You probably think I am pathetic
Crying after all this time
I can't help it, I tear up
Whenever I hear music by Sublime

I cannot erase the memories
Can't forget what happened in the past
I cannot be angry with you, I just wish
The days hadn't gone so fast

You have hurt me more than anyone else
Don't care that I'm broken in two
For some reason I can't explain
My heart continues to go back to you

Nothing compares to deep conversation
That fills moments throughout the day
Your eyes glisten brighter than the moon
Wear a smile that takes my breath away

Night's mysterious magnetic field
Nothing like the pull of your gravity
Your voice keeps me anchored
Protected from outside depravity

Cannot find hesitation in your touch
No spoken words carry fear, doubt
You leave, I capture your essence
Place to place I roam about

I scrub my skin, wash my past down the drain
Hands are wrinkled under a leaden waterfall
Noise from newly-born wishes echo
Songs of emotion off the ceiling and walls

Your steady calm carries to my head
Always ready, in fear of no one
Charming, witty, a natural deciever
War-fueled strength challenged by none

If I could, I would bottle your light
I can't, so I try to memorize
Your hand and mine fit together
Space of doubt between your eyes

Have to force my gaze away
Too easy to lose myself in your lines
When you touch my naked flesh
Swear the galaxy aligns

Trying to make changes you deserve
Make something of our supply of tears
A future for hands to arrange
Melt into as we conquer the years

I used to confess all my secrets to you
Now you do not talk to me at all
I used to be your partner but now
I am one step above a *******

Showed me how it feels to be in love
Used to kiss me every day
But then showed me how much love could hurt
When you ripped all of yours away

Trusted you with all my heart
You left me with an empty bed
Even after all the pain you caused
I believe every word that you said

Used to be happy together
Now I'm sad and on my own
You're fine, have work to distract you
I have nothing, I'm all alone

Used to gaze into your eyes
Now I'm staring at the wall
Used to think I was amazing
Now you do not think of me at all

Letting go all I know is difficult
Didn't expect you to leave
Looking back on that fateful day I gave you my heart
Feel dumb for being naive

Your eyes had me spellbound
How your kiss made me melt
Hands leading me through late-night talks
Always knowing words to match how I felt

Made you dinner though I couldn't cook
We would drink with our friends when we could
Every small insignificant moment
Burrowed deeper than I thought they would

I knew you had flaws, same as me
I noticed you'd down too many beers
Still stayed by your side til the night finished
Would not leave the guy I held so dear

This corsage reminds me of simpler times
Stumbled upon it today
Wondered what you were doing
If you remember that chilly spring day

I thought nothing would be as good as you
Watched hopelessly, you chose to depart
Step by step your silhouette shrunk
You walked away, but not with my heart