Sympathy
And
Empathy
To Me
Was as Confusing
As being Forced
To Spew
Fake Apologies

Alone, 5 letters
To some it's just a small word
For others it's life

Snared upon a rusted hook
A hook that's known as Doubt
Deep in my skin
It stays within
As blood slowly seeps out

Thrashing against it's tangled hold
Is how I used to fight
But now I lay
In disarray
Sinking deeper into my plight

Closing my eyes I hear them well
The words they screeched and sang
Fatty, ******
Liar, Doozy
Deep in my mind these rang

I'm tired of my empty shell
Their opinions are quite right
I'm finally done
My demons won
I'll forever be out of your sight

Caffeine in the form
Of delicious Starbucks
Grande Carmel Frapp

Farewell my love!

Sushi and tuna so moist
Wrapped in seaweed
Filleted with crab

I leave you for now!

Hot tubs and Saunas
My bubbling friend
Of flavorful, steamy warmth

Oh how I shall miss you!  

Don't, the doctor states
Can't, the internet reads
Want, my brain pleads

But I refrain, all for baby

I will not take a bite,
Unless all buffalo can sing!
I wont nibble a piece,
Unless I meet a spoon named Ching!
I refuse to eat this stuff
Unless you fly me to the moon,
In a black and silver limo
Before the clock strikes noon!
Unless you preform the impossible
Though I would't hold my breathe...
I will not eat these veggies,
I would rather starve to death!!!

Crosshatched tower of black ropes
Spiral towards poofy marshmallow clouds
A tempation for each passing youth
To gather around in crowds
All together the creatures, they climb
Grasping rope and some stranger's limb
Bodies fall to the earth like potato sacks
No limits in order to win...

I no longer question
The way of this world
Not that I would want to anyhow

I no longer ask
Why beggars are scorned and ignored
Even the children younger than me

I no longer ask
About Mermaids and Fairies and Elves
Nor the werewolves and vampires

I no longer ask
Where the sun and the moon came from
Or if the angels live on clouds

I no longer question
The way of this world
Not the questions that matter, at least

I've been hit by Life
She's ran me over twice;
Sometimes she can be nice,
A friend you call for free food.
But most of the time, it seems
She's that crazy ex outside your house
Wielding a blowtorch
Begging for you to make a wrong move

Injected with doses of isolation
Solitude is where I sojourn
On the edge of the cliff Melancholy
Is where my Destruction was born
Paranoia drowning through my lungs
Hatred drawn across blood-red skies
Agony rained down and into my soul
Being beaten I had found my Demise
So down the road of Misery Lane
Im dragging my feet one-by-one
The land of Peace has been burned down
Depression became the new sun

No offense to all the females out there
But women confuse me to bits
Paint layers atop faces to disguise yourself
And you overly use terms like 'lit'

Every store I walk into to buy nessesities
A lady's eye catches mine, then glares
I'm not being mean, so what did I do?
Maybe its my overly wavy hair?

They talk about clothes of all different styles
Without fail the price is sky high
I would much rather stick to my thrift store shopping
I like jeans, some shirt, with a tie

I look at other woman compared to myself
Im plain, they are stuffed with beauty
I know Im a woman by my bodies shape
But Im the worst of the woman, you see

Pale green blossoms rise up out of the rich moist dirt, reaching for sunlight

Rivers rage from melting icecapes, racing towards defrosting lakes below

Humming and chirping fills through warming air, nature has music again

Fawns and foals on their new wobbly legs, nibble grasses that have grown green and crisp

Me with my camera, capture life at its peak, the becoming of spring life's began

I placed my toe on
The ice, falling in too fast
Please try to catch me

You gave me your word.
Held me tight, I gave my trust.
In flames, I now lay.

Let me explain
I think I'm okay
No I'm not fine
But that's not the same
When I feel like ****
From icing that hit
I take a deep breathe
I know I'll make it
Victorious name
I will beat his game
Im stronger than this
It's only some pain
In just a few year
I can up and leave here
After which time
My future's unclear

But that's okay
I will find a way

Tennis shoes pounding
Legs wobbly and weak
Darkness enfolds my figure
As Im bolting down the street
I run and run till I cant no more
Stop as I reach the park by the school
I collapse onto the dewy grass feild
With a slight breeze around me to cool
I lay on my back, look at the gray sky
Hear my blood rushing into my head
I relax my body till Im nearly asleep
In this place where my troubles are dead

Its quite a funny thing
My darling asked last night
She asked why the sky was pink
In the summers warm sky
I told her that little birds flew up
and painted it that way for all
But she giggled and said to me
Theres no air, they would fall!
When I was a young girl
I asked why the sky was blue
and when told it was painted that way
I took those words as pure truth
But my darling I am proud
that you question what is said
that will help you will be aware of those
Whose lies to you are fed

The most common lie
That has tumbled off my tongue
**Im tired, thats all

Weave me blue blanket of lies
Made from young virtuous lamb,
Forevermore, my comfort to keep.
Diminutive truths bearing no power
Mixed within sweet fallacy threads
Create this masterpiece I hold so dear.
Chamomile brewing late into the night,
Screaming black kettle boils over the edge
And sizzling snaps trail quickly after.
Duvet released my hand reaches forth,
Blindly scraping left arm on hot stove.
Howls, yelps, screeches of pain fly out my lungs,
Loud enough for Lupa, Achos, and Ania
To gaily dance amidst- my guttural cries as melody.
Ice pressed against my torrid flesh
I grasp the blue cloth of lambskin,
My defense against harsh actuality.
Fraudulent bliss a path often chosen,
Tis the blind man's way of life,
So a blind man is what I shall be.

Water leave through the valleys
You wore down
Wear me down

Drown me in the water
Drown me in the sea
Loose me in the dark
Drag me to the deep

Let your water, wash over me

Water, water rise!

Water rise up and roll
Through the islands
Roll down the streets

It's short lived, boys
Short lived, boys

Find a woman and dance
Through the moons like-
Leave me the rain

Hello Nicole,

Its been a while since I've thought of your name... Today I read a poem that brought tears to my eyes at the thought of you, but I refused to let them fall.

I am alway's being told to forgive you, by clueless friends and family, that you were young and didn't know any better. But hell, you were old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Plenty old enough to use some basic common sense. Common sense such as

"Dont leave your 2 year old daughter in the car in the summer for hours on end"

"Dont leave your 3 year old daughter at the park overnight"

"Dont bring your 4 year old daughter to the house of your married lover"

"Dont take your 5 year old daughter to a ******* and leave her in the car"

"Dont allow your ******* of a drug dealer to care for your baby girl"

Last year in total you sent me 6 packages, called 8 times, wrote 5 letters, wrote or spoke I Love You 16 times, and yet not once did you apologize. On the 8th call, you told me you were pregnant again, and it was going to be a baby girl. I cried harder than I ever had before on that one phone call. You asked if I was happy that I would get another sister, and as calmly as possible I told you I hope the baby is stronger than all the rest, and to lose my ******* number.

A total of 4 children, 3 of which you don't even see anymore. You allowed us to go through hell and beyond in your care, only to be tossed away into a somehow even more unfortunate lifestyle. Yet you somehow expect me to be happy for your pregnancy of a brand new lifeform.

The baby is now alive and kicking,  and I heard she looks exactly like me even though her father was as Mexican as they come. I also heard you get ****** when people compare me and the baby's looks.
Good.
I hope she is a reminder of what you did to me, so that maybe, just maybe, you treat her right.

I wish I could say I wish you the best in life, but that would be a lie. I do hope you get better, for the sake of everyones lives around you. It was nice not talking to you again.

No longer your's,
Victoria-Rose

Sunken eyes, minds and hearts
of even the strongest souls
have drowned in the Sea of Calamity.
Their last rational thought being
*Where did it all go wrong?

Let's sit across the water
Oceans apart, eyes connected
Inspiring eachother with words

Do you too, have those
Blue eyed daydreams?
Where your mind becomes foggy
And your eyes shimmer in memory
Do you have those thoughts too?

Let's sit on the water, listening
Oceans apart, hearts connected
Inspiring others with words

Fair to the broken
Who through mankind have been slain
She make's them all pay

A swarm of baby snowflakes
Paraded merrily into my backyard today.
I flew outside at the sight of their arrival, barefoot
To enjoy their cool company
Before they decided to travel elsewhere.
They nibbled and tickled me
Upon my bare arms and pink cheeks
Causing me to spin in place
twirling, laughing at the shimmery grey sky
That they call home.
And it could have been the fever
that gave me those euphoric feelings,
But more likely than not
I had found a sliver of my heart again.

It's a tragedy

You gaze into green eyes
Upon curves and stretch marks,
Onto a battlefield of scars,

Weilding two calloused hands,
A pair of average ears
All topped off with a crooked smile

A person you've liked, loved
Stares back from the blunt glass mirror
That person, you, is me.  


It's a tragedy

Sometimes
In the Sunshine
Is where my heart lies
And I never wanna leave

But the dark climbs
Through the night sky
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Sometimes
It's a good day
Clouds are away
And I'm feeling like a champion

Then there's mistakes
That makes my heart shake
And I can't fight it
No I can't fight what's meant to be

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
Should I fight my own war?
Should I kneel down and pray?
You know it's hard to have faith
In a man up above
When the people you know
And the people you love
Drag you hopeless and torn
Left you crying and worn

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to love

And as a child
A small child
It was so easy to pray
To that man up above

Please protect my soul
If there's a Father above
Keep my body whole
From breaking apart

I have felt so cold
And broken apart
So please protect my soul
If there's a Father above

Please

Icy Winds of Lost Friendships
Surround my Soul Today
I Used to Count,
All my Friends on One Hand
But I Pushed All But One Far Away
Off the Bridge of Love and Respect
Is Where I Threw Them Out
No More Simple Humans
To Care About Me
Im Fine, Without a Doubt

A girl sits alone on worn, cracked steps
Not seen by any, but seeing of all
She sees the beauty, and lovely things
She sees the ugly, and tragic things

People pass by the worn steps, isolated from all
They need to see, she thinks
To see the beautiful and lovely things
To see the ugly and tragic things

Pen in hand, paper on lap
Chewing on lip, taking a breath

She writes of tenderness,
A cheeky child grinning as he embraces his mother

She writes of adrenaline,
A reckless teen screaming as he jumps off a waterfall

She writes of anguish,
An old man sobbing as he holds his lifeless dog

She writes of loneliness,
A girl sitting alone on worn, cracked steps

The worst thing to say
to someone like me,
Is to stop being sad
Is to stop the faking.

I freeze at your speech.
The venom you spit
Burn's deep in my mind.
Your so harshly ignorant!

Recall the past
Refill the glass
Relive his lust
Regret his touch
Return to life
Remember strife
Regain your loss
Retrain your thoughts
Release all stress
Redeem all left

Reveal the fear...

Recall the past
Refill the glass
Remember life
Regret all strife
Regain your drink
Realize; rethink...

Recall the past
Spill out the glass
Think of his lust
Hold back his touch
Make most of life
Be rid of strife
Though full of loss
Think happy thoughts
Always battle the stress
But have some hope left

And no longer hold fear

Please try to be kind
With the words that you choose
You don't know others lives
Till you've walked in their shoes

People can smile
People can grin
People can lie
About feelings within

Helping brings Kindness
Kindness is Brave
Compassion brings Love
Loving is Strengh

Dance without thought
Along to this music, listen
To the rhythm of the chirps
And the hum of the ribbets
That waltz across the night air
From an invisible orchestra
Of nocturnal noises

Falling in love, with you
Simple and easy to do
You're my little child
Giving reason to smile
For this Valentines one-for-two

My trust is just like a tree
Who with time becomes large and green
And you were the man
With saw in your hand
Slashing me to fallen history

Lucious Lips
Fingertips

Welcome; take a seat.

White-rimmed Eyes
Opaque Lies

*Would you like to eat?

How morbidly cruel we humans are
To have deemed the cherry red rose
Slashed of its life and rid of its thorns
As the purest symbol of love

Many a people hand out
Flowers as Bandaids
Mistakes made, Lying sick
A bouquet is thrown in the mix

I wish I could hand out flowers
But I know that would be strange
Sunflowers to the girl I once loved
To show her life has meaning
Lillies to my stressed out mom
Who deals with the mess that is me
Daffodils to the boy I'm with
An apology for the stress I give

Flawless white roses for my son
An early apology
For the endless mistakes I am sure to make

I once met a boy
Who disguised as a saint
Trying lure me in
He flawed in his ploy
For there was nothing to taint
I'm made up of sin

You're sorry you say?
Now have pity for me?
I laugh in your face
I know what I see
You've heard of my past
And now you feel bad
But you still used to judge
Used to make me feel sad
Don't come to me acting
Like your sympathies are true
You want to feel better... right?
*I hope guilt consumes you

To be or not to be
Within the same room
But mind wandering

You're here, you say
But never around
Always planning the next escape

I'd rather you go
Be elsewhere, not here
It breaks all our hearts
When you can't seem to care

The Fire Man wandered through town
Looking for a gal
To find some peace of mind one night
Clothes nowhere to be found

A Woman of Ice caught the mans eye
His flame catching hers as well
A storm of passion blew between
Unknowingly brewing a spell

A Water Child was brought about
Come from their flames and ice
A child so sweet, he lifted their curse
As in him they found a new life

We all go blind, sometimes
To beauty in our life.
I swore as a kid I never would,
Not like those grumpy adults do.
But here I am, blind as a bat
And trying to run through life.

I'm blind to my friends who only wish me happiness.
I'm blind to my world filled with the brightest colors.
I'm blind to the boy who's asked gently for my heart.

I know that I need to move on
From my darkened past,
*But moving past hell is hard, you know?